Have you ever poured ‘cold water’ over somebody else’s happiness?
In a literal translation from the Chinese language, ‘pouring cold water’ means dousing the flames of passion. This usually happens when the opposite party is feeling elated about a new love, promotion or business deal, and ... Views: 1338
Last September, I attended a ten-day residential program, which is part of the Sexological Bodywork certification in Australia. Though this was the second time I was going through this program, I was returning as one of four assistant coaches. I felt it was important to connect with my community ... Views: 1312
How can one overcome premature ejaculation?
When is faster not necessarily better? That’s right – when we are talking about premature ejaculation or ‘PE’. PE is also known as ‘early ejaculation’ or ‘eager ejaculation’. This occurs when a man ejaculates quicker or earlier than desired. It is ... Views: 1296
Do's
Discuss what makes a good date in your opinion so your partner knows
Take turns planning the date and making it happen the way you like it to
Talking about what is going on in your relationship right now, or resolve old issues
End the evening with a high note or with a fun ... Views: 1248
I tell my clients that sex is not the same as sitting for the ‘10-year series‘. For those who don’t know, the 10-year series is a colloquial term unique to Singapore where students refer to official compilation books of examination papers for the past years for the GCE N-levels, O-levels and ... Views: 1233
Sex does not magically happen. You are stymied by a lack of time and energy and having kids have only caused sex from being erratic to the point of non-existent. You love your spouse and want to keep an intimate connection. However life gets in the way. Sex has turned into a dull routine and you ... Views: 1219
I have a question to ask you. Amidst the hustle and bustle of your busy work and personal lives, when was the last time you played? Close your eyes and try recalling some of the happiest moments in your life: What might they be? Whether this memory is of you as a child or as an adult, chances ... Views: 1218
The cover of book Impossible Motherhood is simple but alluring. It traces the outline of a woman with two lines, with the title and sub-title ‘Testimony of an Abortion Addict’ located where the pubic mons is. Then, there are three sets of red lines (each set has four lines with a fifth line ... Views: 1211
Have you heard of the saying, “Speech is Silver, Silence is Golden?” This phrase can be traced back to early Egyptians and it essentially means that while speaking is good, saying nothing is better. Discretion can be worth more than even eloquent words.
Have you ever felt glad, relieved even, ... Views: 1200
What the hug is saying that you are missing.
1. A hug that’s followed by a thump on the back
A thump on the back above or below shoulders is more of a friendly or ” hey how you been ” hug. This is an indication of discomfort with hugging you or with your closeness. However not all back ... Views: 1195
How can a man best use his tongue to bring a woman to orgasm? What are some techniques he can try?
Our fingers are hard, dry, and possibly chafing. On the other hand, your tongue is warm and moist, hence probably superior to the penis in giving her an orgasm. Also it is easier for most women ... Views: 1179
1. Do not make fun of or dismiss her anxieties/ insecurities as irrelevant, nonsensical and the like.
2. Find out where her comfort level is i.e. she doesn’t like/ want to do A, B, or C. What can she do or is willing to do? Start from there.
3. Gently stretch her comfort ... Views: 1177
It is easy to point the finger elsewhere and say it is the men’s fault. For every man who we say is making a mistake, there are three fingers pointing back at you. Really, since men are not mind readers (though we would like them to be), we have to communicate. Men won’t be making ‘mistakes’ if ... Views: 1163
Is it possible to get better, ‘betterer’ and ‘betterest’ when it comes to sex?
A certain Singapore minister was cited in the media as saying, “If you’re the best today, strive to be better. If you’re better today, strive to be ‘betterer’ and if you’re ‘betterer’ today, strive to be ... Views: 1159
How much of erectile dysfunction is biological and how much of it is psychological?
Erectile dysfunction, sometimes known as impotence, is attributed to physical causes in up to 85% of cases. Medical conditions linked to erectile concerns include heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, ... Views: 1157
We are inundated, on a daily basis, with multiple messages about how our bodies can or should look better from slimming and facials to skin whitening and body hair removal. There is just so much we can be unhappy with when it comes to your bodies. How can we ever be happy with the way we look, ... Views: 1154
What factors should a couple take into consideration when wanting to spice up their sex life?
Consider if your partner is a visual, auditory or kinaesthetic (touch) person. Does irritating sounds bother him to no end? Is he particular about textiles, fabrics and the way they feel next to his ... Views: 1152
As the Lion City’s only clinical sexologist with a doctorate in human sexuality, I have often been asked by journalists, friends, and complete strangers to share my thoughts about what I felt was my most bizarre/ interesting/ fulfilling case.
I could become the next media darling or belle of ... Views: 1135
I was browsing through the October issue of an expat magazine recently when I chanced upon an article entitled, “Well-being and Sex”. Intrigued, I read the piece, only to come upon the sexual terms: ‘sexual transmitted diseases’, ‘impotence’ and ‘frigidity’. The author is obviously not a ... Views: 1123
During intercourse, it is the outer third of the vagina that is most stimulated. Some women are able to orgasm through this vaginal penetration. That is, vaginal orgasm — without clitoral stimulation.
However research has shown that (Shere Hite’s 1976 survey of 3,000 women) only 30% of women ... Views: 1121
Aphrodisiacs are substances that supposedly enhance erotic perceptions and sexual performance. In virtually all societies, people have sought such agents and have attributed magical or powerful properties to unusual substances, like ground rhinoceros horn. It is controversial whether any single ... Views: 1112
For the longest time, being a woman, to me, meant being:
-seen and not heard;
-expected to help, serve (for instance cook, clean, iron) and please people around me, especially the men;
-fertile, and being expected to bear children.
-expected to look good, smell nice, and happy and positive ... Views: 1095
A smile is a wonderful thing. Yet it appears that a smile can have more connotations than what is usually appreciated (on the surface) in our society.
At the age of eleven, I was taught this poem when I joined the Brownies (a school uniform group similar to the Girl Scouts):
“A smile is a ... Views: 1095
For most people, sex is a sensitive and difficult subject to talk about.
I have come across a man who, after 15 years of marriage, admitted that he and his wife have never talked about sex. Don’t get me wrong. They do have sex. They just don’t talk about it.
In other words, they never ... Views: 1090
‘Stand by Her: A Breast Cancer Guide for Men’ is a book by one brave man for other men who are witnessing their loved one fighting breast cancer and how to support them. These men can be their husbands, fathers, sons, brothers, friends, and coworkers.
Written by John Anderson who has helped ... Views: 1084
I had tuition from when I was in Primary One until Secondary Four. My younger sister started from when she was Kindergarten Two. She started early because she wouldn’t leave me alone during my tuition lessons – insisting on playing with me, talking with me, peeping on me – she felt left ... Views: 1069
What to say when you are too tired for sex.
There are three things to say when you are too tired for sex.
1. Say something polite, nice or caring.
Thanks for asking, but… (can state reason)
I’m glad you asked, but… (can state reason)
2. State your alternative.
I’d rather…
I ... Views: 1064
Premature ejaculation happens when a man ejaculates earlier than he would like to. It is also known as rapid ejaculation, rapid climax, premature climax, or early ejaculation. The average male takes less than three minutes from the time of insertion till he ejaculates. To gain greater orgasmic ... Views: 1054
If you accidentally touched a hot stove, the nerves in your skin would shoot a message of pain to your brain. The brain then sends a message back telling the muscles in your hand to pull away. Is that a bad thing?
No, you would answer. What a ridiculous question, you might retort. Hear me ... Views: 1052
Am I doing alright in bed? How can I tell?
We get turned on through our senses – seeing, feeling, touching, smelling, tasting, hearing – and through thought or fantasy. When we begin active sexual movements, we feel the flow of pleasurable feelings centering in the genitals and abdomen. The ... Views: 1048
An orgasm is not just a physical experience, it happens in your body, mind, possibly even spirit. And there is no single definition of orgasm. Some tell tale signs of an orgasmic response might include increased heart rate and blood pressure, increased muscle tension, a flush of her skin, as ... Views: 1019
What is the relationship between sex and durians? Is there any at all?
Since I am paid for my time, I like to use metaphors and analogies to make sure that I get my intended message across in the most effective way in the shortest amount of time. This has a lot to do with my first career in ... Views: 997
According to a new research study in the UK (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1341660/Six-10-women-dont-like-eating-partners.html?ITO=1490), more than 60 percent of British women in relationships do not feel comfortable eating in front of their partner, and almost half get shy when ... Views: 993
When I started my practice, Eros Coaching, I was told unreservedly by many well-meaning people, often complete strangers, not to do so. Will I have enough business? Are Singaporeans going to come forward? “We are too shy!”, they exclaimed. “Why didn’t you stay in the United States and practice ... Views: 976
Living in harmony with nature’s rhythms and gifts is not easy in a heavily-developed world. Nature can be very helpful in restoring sensory, behavioural and emotional balance. Are we listening?
We are constantly exposed to additives, preservatives, chemicals, artificial atmospheric and ... Views: 971
How do you know your sex life back on track?
It depends on what aspect of her sexuality she is not happy with. If she is not receiving sexual pleasure the way she would prefer, she needs to be first looking at what are some possible reasons she is not asking for what she likes. Does she know ... Views: 967
Sex is a learned act. That’s right: l-e-a-r-n-e-d.
I remember contributing an article to an online portal a few months back. I had written the sentence: “For most people, sex is a learned act.” When the portal owner’s edits come back, she had written: “Don’t you mean, ‘For most people, sex is ... Views: 937
When I was in my third semester studying for my Doctorate in Human Sexuality, I went to the Florida Sex Therapy Institute to complete a Certificate in Sex Therapy. Dr Susan Lee, my teacher, introduced me to her clients I bumped into and her counterparts as ‘Dr Lee’.
My first reaction was ... Views: 930
In this day and age, are we really suffering for want of… anything?
Long before budget airlines, it was a very big deal when people would travel to other countries. So much so that friends and family would go to great lengths to show up at the airport just to wish that person ‘bon voyage’. ... Views: 920
I had tuition from when I was in Primary One until Secondary Four. My younger sister started from when she was Kindergarten Two. She started early because she wouldn’t leave me alone during my tuition lessons – insisting on playing with me, talking with me, peeping on me – she felt left ... Views: 917
You might have come across the term ‘Coming out’. What does it mean?
It is a figure of speech used by the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community in disclosing their sexual orientation and/or gender identity. Also referred to as ‘Coming out of the closet’, the beginning of ... Views: 917
What’s the best way a guy who has been out of the dating scene for some time can get back in the game?
Before venturing out into the dating world, take time to figure out who you are and what you are about such as listing a personal inventory of goals, lifestyle priorities, what works and ... Views: 916
Anxiety is a normal part of life. We all have experienced anxiety at some point of our lives. In fact, anxiety is one mechanism that evolved to keep us alert and help us cope in stressful events or situations. More specifically, performance anxiety refers to self-consciousness about the quality ... Views: 901
When I was little, all I wanted was to grow up. Grown-ups rule the world – from controlling the television remote and operating all kinds of cool gadgets to being able to choose the time they went to bed. And then there is always the sentence “You will know when you grow up,” that made adulthood ... Views: 890
How much you reveal to your partner has a lot to do with what kind of a relationship you want. If you want an honest and open relationship, then it is important you are as honest and open as you possibly can. Your past is a part of where you have been, and may not be representative of who you ... Views: 885
The first thing we should know that the monogamous model for relationship has not existed through all societies and time. More so in our Asian culture, we are exposed to concepts like polygamy where Muslim men can have up to four wives; and patriarchal systems where the father or eldest male is ... Views: 884
What are some tips on the ways a guy can impress a girl with the perfect Valentine’s Day dinner date?
Generally, women’s sexual fantasies tend to be filled with more romantic interludes. The whole works would mean: the perfect venue for that perfect date – a 5-star hotel, an elite restaurant, ... Views: 883
On women’s health "down there".
1. Get familiar with what you are ‘normally’ like ‘down there’ – from the look, smell and even taste. Check daily when you go to the toilet. This way, you are aware when there is any out of the ordinary vaginal discharge.
2. Avoid bath oils, perfumed ... Views: 851
Touch is the medium through which we first become acquainted with the world. It is the first means of communication between the newborn baby and the mother. Research has shown that many babies who are raised in an orphanage and are not handled and touched on a regular basis rarely live past the ... Views: 847
Many women have problems with sex at some stage in their life and it becomes more common as women get older. Having covered male sexual dysfunctions in a previous piece, let’s move onto the types of female sexual problems.
Female sexual dysfunction refers to one or more of the following ... Views: 846