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Articles from Tina Tessina | Selfgrowth.com
- Dr. Romance on Relationships 101: Do Opposites Attract? - by Submitted on Jun 21, 2013 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: It seems logical that like would attract like, but in my private practice as a marriage counselor and psychotherapist, I often see people drawn to their opposite ‑‑ because it's new and exciting. However, what’s exciting in the newness of romance often becomes ...
Views: 2261 - Dear Dr. Romance: Is she bipolar or what? - by Submitted on Jun 17, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm in need of some help. My partner has had some emotional problems and I don't know what they are. is she bipolar or what else? She gets angry about everything and is very negative, she is very incecure and thinks I dont love her even if I told her 10 mins ...
Views: 1483 - Dr. Romance: Married, Different Shifts - How to Stay In Touch When You Barely See Each Other - by Submitted on Jun 15, 2013 from Tina TessinaIn this tougher economy, couples are finding it necessary to take the jobs they can get, and that means more couples work different shifts. If one of you works a “graveyard shift” or rotating shift job that limits your time together; the difference in your shifts and commutes may mean you ...
Views: 1685 - Dear Dr. Romance: She doesn't believe that I'm trying to find a job. - by Submitted on Jun 13, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My wife she wil get angry very easily. Even for simple things she gets very angry. She always tells me to leave her and she wants to live her family especially with her mother. She tells me she doesn't want to live and mostly she hurts her self. The biggest problem is ...
Views: 1569(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Video: Why does my husband insist on being right? - by Submitted on Jun 10, 2013 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance video, click here for video When your partner refuses to help solve the problem, you have no choice but to focus on your own need until you get cooperation. As long as you offer every opportunity to cooperate and you extend an invitation to your partner to join you whenever he ...
Views: 2049 - The Nail in the Fence: Healing Wounds - by Submitted on Jun 09, 2013 from Tina TessinaI received the following in an email: “There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into ...
Views: 1923 - Motivation and How to Create It (Good Boss/Bad Boss) - by Submitted on Jun 06, 2013 from Tina TessinaMany of my clients have come in complaining of a lack of motivation; from not being motivated enough on the job, to not being able to diet, quit smoking, or get out of bed in the morning. They desire to achieve both positive and negative motivations—positive motivations and being ...
Views: 1615 - Dear Dr. Romance: What Causes One To Constantly Sabotage Oneself? - by Submitted on Jun 03, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: What causes one to constantly sabotage oneself? Why would someone constantly put up their own roadblocks? Dear Reader: Being out of touch with one's own wants and needs is a primary way to self-sabotage. Getting in your own way is all about how you relate your ...
Views: 1504(1 vote) - Turning Poison Into Medicine - by Submitted on Jun 01, 2013 from Tina TessinaThe revered Sufi poet, Rumi, wrote: “We turn poison into medicine and our sorrows into blessings” I’m thankful for many things. I live a wonderful life, surrounded by loving friends and my beloved husband, Richard; I have the privilege of doing ...
Views: 1642(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Although I had to let go, I still care a lot. - by Submitted on May 30, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance Your articles are very helpful to me. Can you tell me what book of yours can help me heal from my last relatioship. The pain is still there and although I am sure I had to let go, I still care a lot. Dear Reader: I'm sorry you're hurting. I know how ...
Views: 2090 - Dr. Romance Video: Is there a right way to ask for more sex? - by Submitted on May 27, 2013 from Tina TessinaTo watch the video click here: Dr. Romance's Guidelines for Creating a Sexual Agreement: * Set up a problem-solving session: * Having a time to talk about sex will help you create trust and sexual openness which makes finding solutions much easier. * Begin with reassurance and ...
Views: 2358 - How to Stretch Time - by Submitted on May 25, 2013 from Tina TessinaIt is indeed possible to stretch time—to make the time you have go farther, and use it more for what you really want to do. Stretching time is not difficult if you have the prerequisites: self-awareness, a sense of purpose, thoughtful action, and a playful approach. Self-Awareness: As with ...
Views: 1948 - Dr. Romance on Gratitude, Kindness and Happiness - by Submitted on May 23, 2013 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: The founding fathers of our country saw the “pursuit of happiness” as an inalienable right – so important they embedded it in the DNA of the United States of America, by writing it into the Preamble to the Constitution. It was a profoundly new idea at the time. With it, ...
Views: 1737 - Dear Dr. Romance: why are men in their mid 40s-50s attracted to 20ish girls? - by Submitted on May 20, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I was wondering if in any of your books or articles you discuss about why men in their mid 40s-50s might be attracted to 20ish girls. I kind of know the obvious reasons, but being more curious about what that might mean maturity wise etc. Dear Reader: From your ...
Views: 3480(2 votes) - What Is A Dysfunctional Relationship? - by Submitted on May 18, 2013 from Tina TessinaUnless you're completely out of touch with any media, written, audio or video, you have been bombarded with words like "dysfunctional relationship", "codependency" and "toxic family system". You may have noticed that there's a lot of information available about these relationships, but not too ...
Views: 1645(3 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: at funerals, how do you comfort families in mourning? - by Submitted on May 16, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: What suggestions can you offer for guests at funerals in regards to comforting families in morning? Thanks! Dear Reader: Your presence at the memorial or funeral, honoring their loved one who passed, is the most comfort, so go if you can. When you are greeting ...
Views: 1514 - Dear Dr. Romance: What Is The Grieving Process? - by Submitted on May 13, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: What Is The Grieving Process? What are the stages of the grieving process? How long does it take to go through each stage? Can one stage be relived over and over again? Is there a way to help someone through each stage? Dear Reader: If you've had a personal ...
Views: 1596(1 vote) - Relating With Love - by Submitted on May 12, 2013 from Tina TessinaWhy do relationship counselors, speakers and authors say repeatedly that your relationship depends on how well you communicate with each other? Because marriage is a partnership and to create teamwork, you need to keep each other informed, and keep yourself aware of your partner’s ideas, wants ...
Views: 1524(2 votes) - Your Primary Relationship - by Submitted on May 10, 2013 from Tina TessinaMost of us put a lot of emphasis on our relationships: family, friends and significant others. But, did you know that the relationship you have with everyone else is based on your relationship with you? That’s right, the closer you get to other people, the more you treat them the way you treat ...
Views: 1574 - Setting Boundaries and Saying No - by Submitted on May 06, 2013 from Tina TessinaKnowing how to set appropriate boundaries can make the difference in whether or not your relationship succeeds. The topic frequently comes up in my counseling office, and most people think boundaries are set by telling other people what the limits are. But boundaries are really something you ...
Views: 1559(1 vote) - The One Who Got Away - by Submitted on May 04, 2013 from Tina TessinaWhen I was a girl, growing up in the small township of Rockland, New York, there was a tiny post office, which was a small room with a separate entry in the house next door. Rockland’s official postmistress was Clara Weiss, who seemed very elderly even when I was a very small child. She was what ...
Views: 1467(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: How can I move forward when I hit a setback? - by Submitted on May 02, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: When one hits a setback in life what are some healthy ways to keep moving forward? How can one build a healthy mental outlook when things go wrong? Dear Reader: The most important and uplifting thing you can do is look for what you can learn from the problem. ...
Views: 1763 - Dr. Romance on: No Cooperation? Solve It Yourself! - by Submitted on Apr 29, 2013 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: What do you do after you have tried everything and your partner, friend, child or colleague still won't negotiate? In previous articles, like “Asking for What you Want,” “Couples Can Cooperate for Success” and “Gentle Persistence” we’ve explored a lot of ...
Views: 2419 - Lovestyles - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2013 from Tina TessinaIt was one of those magical encounters with a personal truth—you know how it feels. I was fifteen, in ninth-grade English. The teacher, Mr. Rizzutto, read us a poem, and it had such a profound effect on me that even five decades later, I’m still using it as a guide. The poem, “Outwitted,” by ...
Views: 1445(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Should a Mother Push Her Daughter to Contact Her Estranged Father? - by Submitted on Apr 25, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: If the child has not had a real relationship with her father for many years and does not see him more than 2 times per year, should a mother keep pushing a relationship with the father and child? Will it do more harm than good? Dear Reader: There is no way I ...
Views: 2082(4 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: What do I need to do to become a therapist? - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am a 25 year old M.A. student from the Middle East. This year is my final year to have my M.A. degree as a Family specialist to become a family counselor. I saw many things you wrote online as a family and couple therapists and i Loved them all! I was wondering if you ...
Views: 1585 - The Magic of Reassurance - by Submitted on Apr 20, 2013 from Tina TessinaThere are a few simple communication techniques that work like magic in relationships, whether with committed partners, friends, co-workers or relatives. One of the most effective is reassurance, which is simple to do, and calms both of you down, which allows your discussion move on without ...
Views: 1656(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Video: on Dating as a Single Parent - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2013 from Tina TessinaTo watch the video click here: Dr. Romance's Dating Guidelines for Single Parents As a single parent, you probably have so little free time that dating seems an impossible task. Yet, single parents are dating in unprecedented numbers, so if you’re looking for another “head of ...
Views: 1802(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: To this day I am not sure why he became so angry - by Submitted on Apr 15, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr Romance: I hope you will be able to provide me with an insight.I was in a relationship with a man I genuinely loved and wanted future with. Our relationship was lovely to start with but after a few months problems started to emerge: another woman told me he was in a ...
Views: 1834(1 vote) - How to Heal a Rift with an Adult Child - by Submitted on Apr 13, 2013 from Tina TessinaFrequently I help my clients work through problems with their grown children. Sometimes, an offspring is angry about something, and the parent is at a loss for what is wrong or what to do about it. These struggles often have their seeds in things that happened long ago, when the child was young. ...
Views: 2527(3 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: What type of dating safety precautions should one take? - by Submitted on Apr 11, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: How can one be sure that a person they met through a dating service is not disturbed in any way? What type of safety precautions can one take? Dear Reader: Love has a much better chance to be realized if you make some of your choices mentally, as well as by emotional ...
Views: 1806(2 votes) - Dr. Romance Video: Dating after Widowhood - by Submitted on Apr 08, 2013 from Tina TessinaTo view the video, click here. Dr. Romance's 3 Tips for Finding New Love For a while after a relationship ends, you may not feel like considering a new relationship, which is probably good. Jumping right from one relationship to another usually doesn't work. A relationship that ...
Views: 1593(1 vote) - The Worrier’s Guidelines - by Submitted on Apr 07, 2013 from Tina TessinaThis exercise is especially effective when you can’t sleep or when you experience anxiety attacks. If you worry a lot, or obsessively think about future events and problems when you should be concentrating on other things, follow these simple steps: 1. Write it down. If you’re feeling anxious ...
Views: 2026(3 votes) - Jealousy, Faithfulness, and Distance - by Submitted on Apr 04, 2013 from Tina TessinaSo many couples are now separated part- or full-time because of military deployment and/or work travel and schedules, I get a lot of questions about faithfulness. Your marriage vows may have said, “'til death do us part” but no one said anything about what happens when a military career or ...
Views: 1656(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: How Can I get over the nervousness of dating again? - by Submitted on Apr 01, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: How can one get over the nervousness of dating again when its been quite a few years since their last date? Dear Reader: If your last relationship lasted for a while, dating again can be a scary proposition. These guidelines can help: Dr. Romance's ...
Views: 1657 - Your Job on Earth - by Submitted on Mar 31, 2013 from Tina TessinaIn Peace, Love and Healing, Dr. Bernie Siegel says: “Whatever your age, if you learn to listen, your inner voice will speak to you about your path... your ‘job on earth.’ This wisdom that is directing you from within is your birthright... an inner message, an inner awareness, that says, ‘This is ...
Views: 1473(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I can't get my ex out of my head and heart - by Submitted on Mar 28, 2013 from Tina Tessinap>Dear Dr. Romance: Several years ago I met this man. it was instant attraction for both of us. we fell instantly for each other but he had a girlfriend. I gave him the space he needed and we both agreed to just be friends. we tried it once when they broke up but it was difficult. ...
Views: 1683(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: My father opposes my inter-racial relationship - by Submitted on Mar 25, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My question of the week is how to deal with family opposition of my inter-racial relationship. My dad, who is in his 70s, is vehemently opposed to my relationship with my fiance (who is white). He hasn't even met him and given him a chance. It is quite frustrating given ...
Views: 1576(5 votes) - Response-Ability - by Submitted on Mar 24, 2013 from Tina TessinaOne of the trends I dislike in our culture is the reluctance of people to take responsibility, or to respond with care to each other. In my counseling practice, I hear a lot of self-justification, mind-reading, defensiveness, blaming and complaining; which is why relationships, friendships, ...
Views: 1552(4 votes) - Dr. Romance Video: Reluctant to Marry Again - by Submitted on Mar 22, 2013 from Tina TessinaTo view the video, click here. Video: Dear Dr. Romance , I'm reluctant to get married again. When a relationship that probably began in hope and joy has ended in failure, grief and pain, It's very understandable to be concerned about repeating an action that was so hurtful. ...
Views: 1549(4 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I can't live like this any more. - by Submitted on Mar 18, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I've seen your website and I think you may be the exact person to be able to help me. My wife and I have been married for just about 10 yrs., we have 3 beautiful children, and we live fairly comfortably (money is not too big of an issue). I grew up in a fairlyaffluent ...
Views: 1839(6 votes) - Less Talk, More Action - by Submitted on Mar 17, 2013 from Tina TessinaThose of you who have read my articles know that I am always talking about the importance of good communication, urging better communication, and giving skills for being better understood. Communication is one of the most important aspects of relationships; positive and negative. However, talk ...
Views: 1719(6 votes) - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: 11 Things Married Women Want - by Submitted on Mar 14, 2013 from Tina TessinaFor you men who ask, "What Do Women Want?" Here are Dr. Romance's 11 Things Married Women Want: Women value intimacy, safety for themselves and their children, and emotional connection. Therefore, they long for the following qualities in a man: 1. Good ...
Views: 3460(6 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I'm Desperate: What Else Can I Do? - by Submitted on Mar 12, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I suffer with sleeping alone in "our" bedroom while my wife of 14 years, sleeps in our two pre-teen sons' bedroom. I've tried to talk and reason with her about this important problem, only to fall on deaf ears. I'm desperate. What else can i do? ...
Views: 1570(5 votes) - HOW TO KEEP YOURSELF OUT OF A VIOLENT RELATIONSHIP - by Submitted on Mar 10, 2013 from Tina TessinaIt’s not always easy to tell which strangers are dangerous, and which are not. Here are some guidelines for protecting yourself and telling the difference. 1. Don’t be alone with a new person too quickly, and don’t go to the other person’s home, or allow him or her in yours, especially if you ...
Views: 1439(3 votes) - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: Gentle Persistence - by Submitted on Mar 07, 2013 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Have you noticed that nagging, whining, complaining, sternly directing, yelling, criticizing and freaking out don’t seem to get you what you want from a partner, family member, friend, colleague or child? In a previous article, “Asking for What You Want” I explained ...
Views: 1587(4 votes) - Without Ego - by Submitted on Mar 04, 2013 from Tina TessinaIn reading philosophical teachings and writings, I often wonder why the body and the ego are seen so negatively, as if they somehow are antithetical to spirituality. Although ego, body and mind are not all we are, each is part, an expression of the whole self, included in our precious gifts from ...
Views: 1451(5 votes) - Intuition or Inner Knowing - by Submitted on Mar 03, 2013 from Tina TessinaWhen I met Richard, my husband, October 10, 1981, he was sitting outside, and the sun was glinting off his red hair, and my whole body and soul said {wow!” Twenty-three years later, we’re still happy. It turned out to be a lasting love at first sight. How did I know? I didn’t. It’s a lovely ...
Views: 1550(5 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: My wife has been unhappy with me for years. - by Submitted on Feb 28, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I came across your name in an article on Yahoo titled "More Couples Sleeping Apart: Is ThisHealthy?". I am a thirtysomething man living on the West Coast. My wife and I have been together for ten years, married for six. We have three small children, and my ...
Views: 1952(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I keep telling him not to push me. - by Submitted on Feb 25, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I find your articles very interesting. I have a minor problem with my husband. he keeps telling me that I don't listen and that I am stubborn. I admit my mind goes blank sometimes because he expects a lot from me and treats me like a teenager. I keep ...
Views: 1477(5 votes)