I learned about a great bumper sticker: “Life isn’t about finding yourself. It’s about creating yourself.” The same day I saw the bumper sticker phrase, I got an email from a friend telling me about how life is not working and the reasons why. I didn’t find one “can” in there or “I intend.” Sometimes, life shifts and we sit where we are kind of stunned for a while, not certain what to do or are afraid we’ll take the wrong step and head onto an inappropriate path. What I realized about this person is that his boat is in the water, but he’s waiting for the wind to come up and blow him in the right direction rather than picking up the oars. I’m not unsympathetic. Been there, done that, have the T-shirt. When the wind is not where we are, we have to row to where it is. We may even have to temporarily go a little off course until we catch the right wind or wave.

There seemed to be a theme trying to reach me about this because that night, I caught an episode of the TV show, “Scrubbs.” It’s a wacky program, so it wasn’t so strange when a young woman died and her ghost started singing as though she were on Broadway. A line from the song’s lyrics offered another powerful message: “I’m waiting for my real life to begin.”

How many people wait for their real life to begin? Wait for the wind rather than pick up the oars and row? Expend their energy trying to find themselves rather than create themselves the way they want to be? What stops them? Usually what stops people is a fear. Fear is supposed to keep us safe, but it isn’t supposed to limit or prevent our living fulfilling lives.

Another friend told me about taking his son on a thrilling ride at an amusement park. When they were almost ready to get onto the ride, his son expressed that he was afraid. My friend told his son they could leave the line. He also assured his son he’d be right there and asked him how it might feel to tell his friends about his experience. His son thought about this and decided to do it, despite the fear, and was exuberant when the ride was over. He didn’t just climb aboard a scary ride, he faced a fear and was proud of himself. He’ll carry that feeling into other situations and draw upon his inner strength as a result. Look at what he created.

The ride was named the Konga, like the dance. Life is like a dance with its various rhythms, dance partners, and venues. People can choose to sit on the sidelines or they can join the Konga line and have something to talk about. Fear gets you stuck in one place as you look for yourself and wait for your real life to begin. Dance the Konga. Create yourself as you go and have fun while you do it. What’s it going to be? Will you sit and watch or will you get up and dance?

Author's Bio: 

Joyce Shafer is the author of, “I Don’t Want to be Your Guru, But I Have Something to Say,” (www.joyceshafer.com), contact at jls1422@yahoo.com.