Even though someone will have a number of needs, they could typically act as though they only have a few needs. They can then come across as though they merely have basic and mental needs, for instance.

Due to this, they could see themselves as someone who is very independent and doesn’t need others. Being this way could fill them with a sense of pride and they might even look down on people who are very needy.

Another Part

When it comes to what they are like, they could generally come across as emotionally detached and distant. Some people might describe them as being aloof.

In their eyes, it could be as if they are physically here but mentally and emotionally somewhere else. They are then not going to be someone who is seen as being out of reach.

One Area

Now, when it comes to what they do for a living, they could do something that involves them working by themselves or they might work with a few people. This can then mean that they work on a computer or in a lab, for instance.

But, if they only have basic and mental needs, they are not going to have a strong need to be around others and connect with them. Therefore, working by themselves or only seeing a few people will be perfect for them.

Another Area

And, when they are not working, they can still spend most of their time by themselves. A lot of their time could be spent watching things, reading and/or playing computer games, for instance.

If they have a few friends, they could see them every now and then but they might rarely reach out to them. Moreover, if they can’t do something and need help, they might often put it to one side or try to do it by themselves.

An Isolated Existence

Naturally, living in this way is going to cause them to miss out on the human contact that they need. But, as they won’t be aware of most if not all of their emotional needs, they are not going to be aware of this.

Still, not meeting these needs is going to have a negative impact on their wellbeing. For example, they can often be very low and heavy, with this being an outcome of them depriving themselves of the emotional nutrients that they need.

A Mystery

If they do often feel this way, they could believe that they simply suffering from depression. As a result of this, they can end up taking medication, which might allow them to function better.

But, as they have only dealt with a symptom and not the cause, they will continue to be deprived. Thus, as time passes, it might become harder and harder for them to function even with the help of medication.

Stepping Back

If they were to end up hitting rock bottom and had the urge to look deeper into why they are this way, they might gradually come to see that they don’t have a good connection with a number of their needs. What might also soon enter their mind is that they often come across as very distant around others.

From this, it will be clear that they haven’t chosen to ignore a number of their needs to or be distant; it is something that has automatically and unconsciously taken place. After seeing this, they could wonder why they are this way.

What’s going on?

What this could show is that their early years were not very nurturing, with them being greatly deprived and deeply wounded. Their mother and perhaps their father might have been emotionally unavailable out and of reach.

Consequently, other than their basic needs being met, they would have missed out on the attunement and love that they needed to stay connected to their needs and feelings and develop a strong sense of self. To handle the lack of love that was on offer, they would have been forced to lose touch with a number of their needs and feelings, losing touch with their body in the process.

The outcome

At one point in time, then, they would have probably been rooted in their body but at another, they would have been estranged from their body. Their connected true self would have been replaced by a disconnected and needless false self.

The other part of this is that as they become estranged from themselves, they would have also become estranged from others. If they hadn’t adapted in this way, they would have suffered even more and they might have died.

A New Reality

To no longer live on the surface of themselves and be firmly rooted in their body and in touch with and able to meet their emotional needs, they are likely to have a lot of inner work to do. This will take courage, patience and persistence.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis cover all aspects of human transformation; including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, enmeshment, inner child, true self and inner awareness. With over three thousand, six hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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