Although someone might not ever climb down into a hole, it doesn’t mean that they won’t ever feel like they are in a hole. They could often have moments when they feel they are deep in the ground.

Not only this but when they are in this hole, they could feel as though they will never get out of it. However, if this is just what is normal, they might not be consciously aware of what is going on.

The Outcome

If this is the case, they are going to suffer but they won’t have the level of awareness that they need to be able to change their life. What is going on will take place just under the radar, so to speak, causing them to be completely consumed by it.

When they are in this hole and feel trapped, they are likely to feel hopeless and helpless. Along with how they feel, their body can feel heavy, frozen and have very little energy.

The Experience

In general, this can be something that they will experience at least once a week and it could last for a number of days, for instance. During this time, they are not going to be able to do a great deal.

Other than going to work, assuming that they have a job, they could just sit and/or lay around when they are at home. This can be a time when they will eat and/or drink things that are not overly good for them.

The Trigger

There is the chance that there is not just one cause, though. So, it could take place after they have experienced a loss, such as the end of a relationship, job or friendship.

At other times, simply reading or watching something could send them down into a hole. There could be a situation in their life that often does this and this could be something that has been going on for a little while.

An Insurmountable Hurdle

For example, they might want to be in a relationship and not be happy with their job but not believe that there is no way for them to move forward. After perhaps trying to change one or both of these areas for so long and not getting anywhere, then, this be something that causes them to fall down.

What this will illustrate is that they generally don’t feel supported and when they fall down, they certainly won’t feel supported. The support from others won’t be there and neither will the support from their own body in a lot of cases.

Seeing Clearly

If they were able to step back and see what is going on, they could wonder why they experience life in this way. They could see that they have been this way for a very long time.

Their life will be one big challenge and they are likely to be desperate for it to change. But, thanks to how long it has been this way and what typically takes place, a big part of them is not going to believe that it ever will.

What’s going?

There is a strong chance that what took place during their developmental years played the biggest part in why they are this way. This may have been a time when certain needs were rarely if ever met.

Practically from the moment they were born, they may have been left and when they were given attention, it might have largely been misattuned care. This period of their life would have greatly traumatised them.

One option

To handle the arousal/stimulation, as their brain and nervous system were in an underdeveloped state and ill-equipped to deal with what was going on, their brain would have automatically repressed how they felt and they would have gone into a shut down, collapsed, frozen and disconnected state. As they were powerless and totally dependent, their parasympathetic nervous system had to be activated.

This would have also been a time when their true self would have withdrawn and gone into hiding. Consequently, a shell was left and a false self had to be created for them to survive the extreme pain they experienced through being deprived of what they needed.

A Continuation

What now takes place when there is an external or even an internal trigger will be a replay of how their brain and body responded during their early years. But, as their brain will have blocked out what took place to allow them to keep it together and survive, they won’t have been able to join the dots, so to speak.

With this information, how they experience life as an adult will make complete sense. Now that they know this, their life won’t simply change but it will do is give them the understanding that they need to find the right assistance.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author of 25 books, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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