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As someone that has spent nearly forty years studying human behavior, compulsion, mind body relationships and addiction, I have seen over and over again how addiction can be shattering to our hearts, self image, and sense of stability in the world.
I am in the process of designing a program ... Views: 2563
It is an unfortunate fact that money is one of the major causes of stress and relationship problems for married couples. Money and relationships do not go hand in hand easily and the association requires some effort from both partners to make it work.
Most newlyweds struggle to adjust to ... Views: 3006
A couple happy and excited about the birth of their first child is a lovely reality however there are hidden traps that will no longer be hidden if they are examined ahead of time. This question will open that Pandora's box: If you had to choose between the life of your wife or the baby which ... Views: 1595
Good communication is not rocket science. It’s also not ‘painting by numbers’ where people have to learn a set of techniques. It’s not enough to learn some skills. The key to good communication is not just having good communication skills, but also having self-awareness. Why do you react and ... Views: 14223
What do you do when you let your heart run free, knowing even as it happens that you have made the worst possible decision? We often hear about celebrities that get married on a whim, and within a matter of days, or sometimes weeks, they head for the divorce court. They have the courage to ... Views: 2079
I'm often asked, "What is one of the most challenging issues couples face today?"
While every couple is different, there are themes that I see in my work as a couples counselor and relationship coach. One common issue is the difficulty couples have in prioritizing their relationship—a form of ... Views: 1204
If you have kids at home, it's highly likely that you and your mate have to schedule in and make plans for special time for you two to be alone. This may vary depending on your lifestyle and the ages of your kids.
It's quite possible that at a certain point in your lives, you and your partner ... Views: 1470
Are you asking yourself the big question of “How do I ask my girlfriend to marry me?” Getting married is a huge step for both men and women. However, most of the burden is on you because you’re the one who is proposing to your girlfriend. Not only will you have to plan everything, you will also ... Views: 1498
Can the spouse of a sex addict find help individually for the effects of the sexual addiction on their lives? Sure. Much of the time, however, it is the crisis of discovery of the acting out, or some other related crisis that brings the sex addict and spouse into treatment. They usually seek ... Views: 3198
Are you angry, depressed, confused, and constantly trying to figure out what your spouse is up to? If you are spinning your wheels, trying to strategize and find solutions for your spouse and your relationship before you have actually identified the problem, keep reading. Family members can ... Views: 1821
Treatment for sexual addiction can occur in an inpatient or outpatient setting. Like treatment for alcohol and other drug (AOD) addiction, treatment for sexual addiction is usually made up of individual and group counseling, education about addiction, and self-help participation. When choosing ... Views: 1212
“My husband had been physically and emotionally abusive since even before we married. I think I became addicted to the drama of it.”
These were the first words that K. told me during our initial Online Counseling session. “At night when our children sleep I would feel trapped unable to leave ... Views: 1609
As a Psychologist an understanding of behavior and providing Relationship Advice is what allows me to help people work through their troubles. Helping people to adjust their behaviors and better their relationships is one of life’s greatest rewards. It can be just the smallest thing or even just ... Views: 1490
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts.
As we prepared for the work of the day this morning it dawned on us while watching a television show – there is a lot of bad advice about marriage and relationships in the popular media today. We watched these so-called “experts” wax on about what ... Views: 2436
There is nothing sexy about sex addiction. Compulsive sexual behavior is not a pastime or hobby. Sexually addicted people use all kinds of excuses and defense mechanisms to deny the truth to themselves. The naked truth about addiction is that once it is addiction, the addict is spiritually and ... Views: 2074
You have just discovered or been informed of your partner's infidelity. You are in shock. You are confused, angry, immobilized, depressed, and thinking you will absolutely go crazy. In the midst of all this, you keep hearing about "sexual addiction" in the media and you wonder if it is sexual ... Views: 3764
"I believe the recipe for happiness to be just enough money to pay the monthly bills you acquire, a little surplus to give you confidence, a little too much work each day, enthusiasm for your work, a substantial share of good health, a couple of real friends and a wife and children to share ... Views: 795
How we ended up with black belts in the "Marital Arts":
A few years ago, Sonja and Stephen Francis found themselves sitting in a puddle of blueberry milkshake, sobbing their hearts out.
Sonja had just dumped the milkshake over Stephen's head, right after he had punched a hole in the closet ... Views: 1194
There was a time when marriage counselling was considered a last resort for struggling couples, always with something of a stigma attached. A lot of people feel that to go through counselling is to acknowledge defeat, and implies weakness in a way. In recent years, however, more and more ... Views: 951
A healthy marriage is made up of compassion, submission, respect and forgiveness. Did you notice that I didn’t even use the word “love”? That’s because all of the above constitutes love. When you demonstrate these character traits with others you are essentially turning these words into loving ... Views: 4795
Resentment is a very powerful emotion. In fact, anyone who harbors this terrible emotion shouldn’t be trying to make rational decisions for themselves or their marriage. I would even venture to say that most divorces are because of unmet and unfulfilled emotions, which is what this emotion is!! ... Views: 8336
“What are you doing?” he asks. “Tweeting,” you reply, happily letting all your friends know that you’re going for a latte. “Again?!” he exclaims, “God I’m sick of that thing.” “Oh, stop already,” you say, “ I’ve only tweeted – “ “Half a dozen times since we got in the car,” he says, finishing ... Views: 1113
Is your beloved relationship honest, fulfilling and harmonious? Do you often have moments when deep love is flowing between your hearts? Do you wish for more depth, love and understanding?
Communication is a key to a good relationship. There are many books and workshops that model good ... Views: 2147
Marriage, under the best of circumstances, can be likened to Pandora's box in that it can set free all the negative quirks and egoic faults each other has. But there is something to be said for a close relationship between a husband and a wife in which both parties can "tell on themselves" and ... Views: 678
Everyone dreams of saying “I do” to the person of our dreams and living happily ever after. However, before we even get to the years of sincere work and compromise it’s important to start the entire path off on the right foot. How do we set the tone of living happily ever after?
Step number one ... Views: 603
Did you know that the beliefs you hold about marriage can significantly impact the relationship you have with your spouse? You may chock up your beliefs to merely 'thoughts,' but they actually can mean the difference between you having the relationship you want and feeling dissatisfied or ... Views: 1529
Have you ever wondered how ‘that couple’ stayed together all those years? What is it they are doing right? What are the things that contribute to the success of healthy long term relationships? There are a few fundamental things that will improve the chances of a relationships success. Those ... Views: 15786
Money is one of the leading topics of marital arguments, and it’s not surprising. We each have a money style – a collection of feelings, beliefs, and behaviors that we learned from our parents and other significant people in our lives. When two people make a commitment together, these money ... Views: 2053
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts.
Tonight, we heard the sounds of love! Over the years we have seen love, felt love, heard about love, observed love, and been in love. But tonight, we heard the sounds of love!
We heard love tonight through the magnificent sounds of the St. Louis ... Views: 3302
Yet another person sitting in my office, trying to explain why his marriage was doomed for failure, and his "new love" was right!
"Greg" is a good guy. He is successful, nice, well spoken. . . by all external accounts, he's got it all. His wife of 18 years stays home and raises their two kids. ... Views: 2177
Are you looking for that perfect relationship, or is your relationship not quite as perfect as you want it to be?
That's because our intimate relationships are mostly based on fantasy -- a subconscious, idealized image, and a belief that a partner that matches this fantasy image will bring us ... Views: 3558
If you've been around long enough, you're aware of the many things that can play havoc with domestic peace, even where the parties concerned are not short of goodwill and have the best of intentions.
High up on the list of culprits here are poor communication habits, either on their own or in ... Views: 1356
Definition of Honest: truthful; trustworthy; genuine; open
Soooo, are you an honest person?
Your response is likely, “Yes.” However, if we look deeper in our lives, we may find our response is not totally true. And if we are really honest with ourselves, we may find that our lack of ... Views: 2130
Recently, we traveled to Southern Alberta to visit with Carol’s side of the family. Are they in-laws, out-laws, or maybe some of both? Regardless, I love them all.
As we approached our destination, we chatted about our expectations of how the landscape would look, based upon our memories. ... Views: 1192
Spring is in the air. It is a time of new life. There are green grass, kittens, puppies, and rhubarb.
Rhubarb? The darned stuff is the first thing to show up in the garden. For those of you who don’t know about rhubarb, it grows from a huge root-ball under the soil. A mass of stalks ... Views: 1841
Yahoo, it’s spring! It’s a great time to focus on the garden – and relationships. They are the same, aren’t they?
Imagine this…
As the grass began to grow, I knew it was time to connect with nature and get our garden ready for another productive year.
It was fun to work in the garden ... Views: 2935
Is it possible for something good to come out of the economic downturn? Can a relationship, even one that may be experiencing its own hard times, come out better for surviving the hard times? Here are some ways to use the recession to your benefit:
1. Back to Basics. View this as an ...Is ... Views: 2386
Sounds crazy, but it’s true! Simply put, the first argument you have with your partner, if left unresolved, will manifest itself time and time again - in different forms – throughout your entire relationship.
When we fall in love and begin a partnership, we temporarily maintain our best ... Views: 2659
If you leave a wet towel on the bathroom floor, it could be somewhat irritating to the next person who uses the bathroom after you, but would anyone start a major fight over it?
Most definitely, according to research funded by the US government's health research arm and conducted in the ... Views: 1312
I once heard a fascinating story in the name of a famous relationships counselor who talks on radio shows.
It was claimed to be an authentic account of something that happened in real life, but even if it's apocryphal, I'm very much inclined to believe it could happen.
A man decided to divorce ... Views: 1321
Try an experiment. Start a conversation on any topic with your spouse or best friend. After you’ve been talking together for a few minutes, interject with something along the lines of: “Hey, what are you talking about? You’re a real idiot!”
Next, hasten to explain to your partner that of ... Views: 1303
I often liken the exhilarating state of 'falling in love' to Guy Fawkes Night. It's a night with lots of excitement created by fire-works of such beauty that take your breath away and make your heart beat faster. The instant attraction to another person causes reason and rhyme to vanish whilst ... Views: 1213
When you ask the question "What is Love?" people will give you many different explanations. Indeed, love is many things for many people. I would like to present the concept of 'Consumate Love' following the 'Triangular Theory of Love' developed by Robert Sternberg. (Find out more about Sternberg ... Views: 1552
Everything’s set: you have the most gorgeous ring and you’ve set the wedding date. Your wedding gown is custom-made, absolutely perfect, and you can’t wait to finally walk down the aisle with the most scrumptious veil ever. The wedding colours are definitely stylish, as well as the attendant’s ... Views: 611
GUARDIANSHIP
When we hear the word ‘guardian,’ what comes to mind might be how we feel in relation to our children, or our elderly parents, or perhaps an estate. At first blush, seeing oneself as a guardian of one’s relationship might seem a bit weird. However, if we were to think of ... Views: 515
Much of this article could best be categorized as common sense. So, why would I bother to write about something as common as common sense? I think the answer lies in the same directory of life as the saying “When all else fails, read the directions”. We so often don’t look to the obvious as a ... Views: 584
The subtitle I chose was this: “it’s not that hard.” But I misled so I changed it. It’s not that hard once you’ve fully invested yourself in the process but it’s really hard to get going. Let me explain.
In an earlier post we looked at the masks we wear. Couples who wish to take their marriage ... Views: 2081
By America’s #1 Love and Marriage Experts.
Have you ever been to Venice, Italy? Wow, what a wonderfully romantic place! When you ride in a gondola together by Marco Polo’s house, stroll on St. Mark’s Square while holding hands, enjoy the grandeur of the Doges Palace, or share a bottle of ... Views: 2480
Reception
The reception is that one place where the wedding party will be treated to lots of fun and an opportunity to mingle. Whether it is relatives who have not seen each other for a while or a pair of single friends wanting to make a connection, the wedding reception should cater for this. ... Views: 635
Have you begun to notice that your partner is more selfish than you ever thought? Does it seem like she will never understand you. Does it feel like he’s being inconsiderate and even treating you poorly?
It’s not uncommon for us to see our beloved partner in a less favorable light after ... Views: 3177