As some of you might know I have been working on writing my first book. I was very honored when I found out that the highly renowned multimedia publishing company Sounds True wanted to publish it. After going back and forth on some of the terms of the agreement, they sent me a final draft of our contract. In my day-to-day scramble to get everything done, I printed out the document and was mindlessly going to sign it and send it back. I then stopped myself. This was my first book deal!

Writing a book is something I have talked about, made notes on, thought and dreamed about for years. In the past several months I have spent countless hours writing an outline, meeting with agents, and crafting the perfect book proposal to present to publishers. I have worried, waited, prayed, and gone back and forth from fear to faith, wondering if in this economy I would find a synergistic publisher. Having it all come together in a manner which truly was the manifestation of my vision becoming my reality was a major moment in my life. It's not a moment that should just be robotically checked off my "to-do" list like going to the grocery store, picking up dry cleaning, or putting gas in my car.

No! This was a moment that not only needed to be claimed but truly deserved to be memorialized and celebrated!

It was a moment that got me thinking about the concept of "Who is bearing witness to your life?"

When we claim the moment, we punctuate a situation by being present and taking notice. By seeking to define what makes it special, we turn what could be considered "mundane" into memorable and ordinary into extraordinary. Claiming the moment is a great tool when it comes to you making your moments matter. However, if you want to maximize the magnitude of a moment, then have others bear witness to it.

Having others bear witness is a declaration to the Universe that you and your moments matter. Inviting others to bear witness to your life is a declaration that your achievements deserve celebrating, and that your dreams and wishes are meaningful enough to be held by others. Ultimately having others bear witness to your life is a proclamation of your feelings of worthiness. When you make your life matter so will others!

Yet beyond baby showers, birthdays, weddings, and funerals, how often do you invite people to share in the snapshots of your life? Probably not that many! Why? The shadow!

The shadow has us play small, not show off, not be too arrogant, stay invisible, and not be seen. It creates fear and plays mind games. It makes us question if our successes are just flukes, fear that our dreams will quickly become disappointments, and believe that any feelings of worthiness will be short-lived. As a result, we decide that to minimize the onslaught of the inevitable pain and shame, we should just keep it all to ourselves!

But that all comes from a lack state of consciousness and just like lack begets lack, abundance begets abundance.

Many scientists, theorists, and teachers have studied and talked about the power of the collective and how you can magnify the impact of any thought, intention, or prayer when it is held by a group. It is time to harness the power of the collective and move from selfies to making memories by inviting people to bear witness to your life. Although it may feel scary at first and your shadow might wreak havoc on you reaching out, doubting that anyone truly cares or has the time to celebrate your moments, I can promise you that the right people, the people who love and support you, will be thrilled! We just have to step out of the limiting voice of the shadow and give others the opportunity!

And if you don't believe me, you can ask my friend who I had plans with the night I got my contract from my publisher. I went to her apartment, told her about my book deal, which I had not really mentioned to anyone, and asked her to bear witness to my signing my first book contract! She was honored! Smiling from ear to ear, we went out on her balcony, set the intention that my book go out into the Universe and touch lots of lives and she witnessed me signing my first book deal. We both had tears in our eyes as we magnified the meaning of the moment and deepened the bond of our already rich history.

Transformational Action Steps

(1) Start by bringing your awareness to the moments of your day. At any point, stop and claim the special significance of any situation.

(2) Next it is time to invite another to bear witness to a moment. It can be anything - from trying on a new outfit to sampling or savoring something you have cooked to signing a contract to driving your new car. Remember it's not so much about the moment as it is declaring that your moments matter!

Author's Bio: 

Kelley Kosow is a Master Integrative Life Coach, CEO & Program Leader of The Ford Institute. She is a leader and teacher of emotional education, shadow work, and personal mastery.

In 2007, Kelley joined The Ford Institute staff. She was hand-picked and personally trained by the late Debbie Ford to lead her programs and continue the legacy of her life-changing work. Known as a “coach’s coach,” Kelley works with individuals, groups and corporations world-wide.

Kelley is a graduate of Brown University and University of Miami Law School. Kelley has been featured in local and national media. Oprah Magazine named Kelley as someone who could “Dream it, Do it.” She has been featured in In Style, People, NY and LA Times, and Conde Nast Traveler.

Kelley is working on her first book on Integrity.