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Articles from Rick Hanson | Selfgrowth.com
- Lean Into Good On First Waking - by Submitted on Apr 29, 2024 from Rick HansonWaking up is like the sun rising. At first, it's mostly dark, as glimmers of consciousness begin to light the shadows. Emerging into full wakefulness, the fogs and veils dissolve and the whole plain of your mind comes into view. It's quiet: a restiveness in the body, sleepy still, not yet much ...
Views: 254 - See Deep Wants - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2024 from Rick HansonI did my Ph.D. dissertation by videotaping 20 mother-toddler pairs and analyzing what happened when the mom offered an alternative to a problematic want ("not the chainsaw, sweetie, how about this red truck?!"). Hundreds of bleary-eyed hours later, I found that offering alternatives reduced the ...
Views: 245 - See Good Intentions - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2024 from Rick HansonHustling through an airport, I stopped to buy some water. At the shop’s refrigerator, a man bent over, loading bottles into it. I reached past him and pulled out one he’d put in. He looked up, stopped working, got a bottle from another shelf, and held it out to me, saying, “This one is cold.” I ...
Views: 256 - Drop The "Shoulds" - by Submitted on Apr 01, 2024 from Rick HansonOne time I watched a three-year-old at her birthday party. Her friends were there from preschool, and she received lots of presents. The cake came out, she admired the pink frosting rose at its center, and everyone sang. One of the moms cut pieces and, without thinking sliced right through the ...
Views: 257 - Let it R.A.I.N. - by Submitted on Mar 25, 2024 from Rick HansonWhen you're young, the territory of the psyche is like a vast estate, with rolling hills, forests and plains, swamps, and meadows. So many things can be experienced, expressed, wanted, and loved. But as life goes along, most people pull back from major parts of their psyche. Perhaps a ...
Views: 256 - Find Your Own Way - by Submitted on Mar 19, 2024 from Rick HansonThe human body has about 100 trillion cells (plus another ten quadrillion microscopic critters hitching a ride, most of them beneficial or harmless). Each one of your cells has aims - goals, in a sense - controlled by its DNA: cells conduct processes aimed at particular functions, like building ...
Views: 267 - Find The Good News - by Submitted on Mar 11, 2024 from Rick Hanson“Tell the truth.” It’s the foundation of science – and the foundation of healthy relationships, communities, and countries. But the truth of things is complicated. To simplify, there is the good of things that are enjoyable and helpful, the bad of things that are painful and harmful, and ...
Views: 269 - Change the Channel - by Submitted on Mar 04, 2024 from Rick HansonIn response to a previous JOT – Find Stillness – a wise therapist, Betsy Sansby, reminded me that sometimes a person just can’t find any stillness anywhere. Maybe you have epilepsy or chronic pain or are wildly worried about a child or other loved one, or have been rejected in love or had the ...
Views: 272 - Find Stillness - by Submitted on Feb 27, 2024 from Rick HansonThings keep changing. The clock ticks, the day unfolds, trees grow, leaves turn brown, hair turns gray, children grow up and leave home, attention skitters from this to that, the cookie is delicious but then it’s all gone, you’re mad about something for a while and then get over it, ...
Views: 262 - Let It Go - by Submitted on Feb 19, 2024 from Rick HansonMost people, me included, are holding onto at least one thing way past its expiration date. It could be a belief, perhaps that your hair is falling out and you are ugly and unlovable as a result, that you can’t say what you really feel in an intimate relationship, or that you must lose ...
Views: 264 - See What's Likable - by Submitted on Feb 13, 2024 from Rick HansonLiking feels good, plus it encourages us to approach and engage the world rather than withdraw from it. Your brain continually tracks whether something is pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. In essence, is it a carrot, a stick, or safely ignored? Naturally, we like - we enjoy - what's ...
Views: 280 - Be Home - by Submitted on Feb 06, 2024 from Rick HansonThroughout history, people have wondered about human nature. Deep down, are we basically good or bad? When the body is not disturbed by hunger, thirst, pain, or illness, and when the mind is not disturbed by threat, frustration, or rejection, then most people settle into their resting ...
Views: 275 - Rest Your Weary Head - by Submitted on Jan 29, 2024 from Rick HansonThe traditional saying that's this week's practice has been sinking in for me lately. Thoughts have been swirling around like a sandstorm about work, things I've been reading, household tasks, finances, concerns about people, a yard that needs mowing, loose ends, projects, etc. etc. The other ...
Views: 291 - Gift Yourself - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2024 from Rick HansonCan you remember a time when you offered a gift to someone? Perhaps a holiday present, or a treat to a child, or taking time for a friend – or anything at all. How did this feel? Researchers have found that giving stimulates the same neural networks that light up when we feel physical pleasure, ...
Views: 283 - Enjoy Now - by Submitted on Jan 15, 2024 from Rick HansonThere’s a profound and miraculous mystery right under our noses: this instant of now has no duration at all, yet somehow it contains all the causes from the past that are creating the future. Everything arising to become this moment vanishes beneath our feet as the next moment wells up. Since ...
Views: 282 - Find What's Sacred - by Submitted on Jan 08, 2024 from Rick HansonThe word sacred has two kinds of meanings. First, it can refer to something related to religion or spirituality. Second, more broadly, it can refer to something that one cherishes, that is precious, to which one is respectfully, even reverently, dedicated, such as honesty with one's life ...
Views: 276 - Avoid The Rush - by Submitted on Jan 01, 2024 from Rick HansonAs I was meditating one morning, our cat hopped up onto my lap. It felt sweet to sit there with him. And yet - even though I was feeling fine and had plenty of time, there was this internal pressure to start zipping along with emails and calls and all the other clamoring minutiae of the ...
Views: 269 - Find Your North Star - by Submitted on Dec 25, 2023 from Rick HansonI did a meditation retreat (at Spirit Rock, a wonderful place, including for workshops). One evening as we walked out of the hall after the last sit, I was feeling rattled and discombobulated. (One of the benefits of a retreat - though it can be uncomfortable - is that it stirs up the sediments ...
Views: 292 - Cling Less, Love More - by Submitted on Dec 19, 2023 from Rick HansonAs a rock climber and a parent, I know some physical kinds of clinging are good - like too-small holds or small hands! But clinging as a psychological state has a feeling of tension in it, and drivenness, insistence, obsession, or compulsion. As experiences flow through the mind - seeing, ...
Views: 293 - Pay Attention - by Submitted on Dec 11, 2023 from Rick HansonFrom moment to moment, the flows of thoughts and feelings, sensations and desires, and conscious and unconscious processes sculpt your nervous system like water, gradually carving furrows and eventually gullies on a hillside. Your brain is continually changing its structure. The only question ...
Views: 308 - Leave the Red Zone - by Submitted on Dec 04, 2023 from Rick HansonThere I was recently, my mind darting in different directions about projects in process, frazzled about little tasks backing up, uneasy about a tax record from 2010 we couldn’t find, feeling irritated about being irritable, hurrying to get to work, body keyed up, internal sense of pressure. Not ...
Views: 304 - Be Benevolent - by Submitted on Nov 28, 2023 from Rick HansonBenevolence is a fancy word that means something simple: good intentions toward living beings, including oneself. This goodwill is present in warmth, friendliness, compassion, ordinary decency, fair play, kindness, altruism, generosity, and love. The benevolent heart leans toward others; it ...
Views: 352 - Make The Offering - by Submitted on Nov 20, 2023 from Rick HansonOne of the strangest and most meaningful experiences of my life occurred when I went through Rolfing (ten brilliant sessions of deep-tissue bodywork) in my early 20's. The fifth session works on the stomach area, and I was anticipating (= dreading) the release of buried sadness. Instead, there ...
Views: 323 - Don't Beat Yourself Up - by Submitted on Nov 14, 2023 from Rick HansonA previous JOT - admit fault and move on - was about our relationship with other people. This JOT applies the same practice to ourselves. Most people know they have less than wonderful qualities, such as too much ambition (or too little), a weakness for wine or cookies, something of a temper, ...
Views: 300 - Admit Fault and Move On - by Submitted on Nov 06, 2023 from Rick HansonHave you ever watched two people quarrel, or otherwise be stuck in a conflict with each other? Usually, if either or both of them simply acknowledged one or more things, that would end the fight. Recall a time someone mistreated you, let you down, dropped the ball, made an error, spoke ...
Views: 314 - Be the Body - by Submitted on Oct 30, 2023 from Rick HansonAs a kid, I was really out of touch with my body. I hardly noticed it most of the time, and when I did, I prodded it like a mule to do a better job of hauling "me" - the head - around. This approach helped me to soldier through some tough times. But there were costs. Many pleasures were ...
Views: 294 - Back to Basics - by Submitted on Oct 23, 2023 from Rick HansonIn middle school, I thought it would be cool to play a musical instrument and picked the clarinet. My wise parents rented one rather than buying it, and I started practicing. (In the garage because it sounded pretty screechy.) After a week or two of doing scales, I got bored and picked my way ...
Views: 314 - Know You're a Good Person - by Submitted on Oct 16, 2023 from Rick HansonFor many of us, perhaps the hardest thing of all is to believe that "I am a good person." We can climb mountains, work hard, acquire many skills, and act ethically - but truly feel that one is good deep down? Nah! We end up not feeling like a good person in a number of ways. For example, I ...
Views: 295 - Drop Tart Tone - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2023 from Rick HansonI remember times I felt frazzled or aggravated and then said something with an edge to it that just wasn't necessary or useful. Sometimes it was the words themselves: such as absolutes like "never" or always" or over-the-top phrases like "you're such a flake" or "that was stupid." More often, it ...
Views: 323 - Feed the Wolf of Love - by Submitted on Oct 02, 2023 from Rick HansonI once heard a teaching story in which an elder, a grandmother, was asked what she had done to become so happy, so wise, so loved, and respected. She replied: "It's because I know that there are two wolves in my heart, a wolf of love and a wolf of hate. And I know that everything depends on ...
Views: 336 - Lower the Pressure - by Submitted on Sep 25, 2023 from Rick HansonThings come at us with so much urgency and demand these days. Phones ring, texts buzz, emails pile up, new balls have to be juggled, work days lengthen and move into evenings and weekends, traffic gets denser, financial demands feel like a knife at the neck, ads and news clamor for attention, ...
Views: 341 - See Beings Not Bodies - by Submitted on Sep 19, 2023 from Rick HansonWhen we encounter someone, usually the mind automatically slots the person into a category: older, younger, your friend Tom, the kid next door, etc. Watch this happen in your own mind as you meet or talk with a co-worker, sales clerk, or family member. In effect, the mind summarizes and ...
Views: 329 - Step Into the Cloud - by Submitted on Sep 12, 2023 from Rick HansonI had a lightbulb moment recently: I was feeling stressed about all the stuff I had to do (you probably know the feeling). After this went on for a while, I stepped back and kind of watched my mind, and could see that I was thinking of these various tasks as things, like big rocks that were ...
Views: 334 - Love the World - by Submitted on Sep 05, 2023 from Rick HansonTo simplify and summarize, our brain has three primary motivational systems – Avoiding harm, Approaching rewards, and Attaching to “us” – that draw on many neural networks to accomplish their goals. Lately, I’ve started to realize that a fourth fundamental human motivational system could be ...
Views: 328 - Hug the Monkey - by Submitted on Aug 28, 2023 from Rick HansonTo simplify a complex process spanning 600 million years, your brain developed in ways that are loosely related to three major stages of vertebrate evolution: Reptile - Brainstem, focused on avoiding harms Mammal - Subcortex, focused on approaching rewards Primate/human – Neocortex, ...
Views: 346 - Feed the Mouse - by Submitted on Aug 21, 2023 from Rick HansonTo simplify a complex process spanning 600 million years, your brain developed in ways that are loosely related to the three major stages of vertebrate evolution: Reptile – Brainstem, focused on avoiding harms Mammal – Subcortex, focused on approaching rewards Primate – Neocortex, ...
Views: 337 - Pet the Lizard - by Submitted on Aug 15, 2023 from Rick HansonI've always liked lizards. Growing up in the outskirts of Los Angeles, I played in the foothills near our home. Sometimes I'd catch a lizard and stroke its belly, so it would relax in my hands, seeming to feel at ease. In my early 20's, I found a lizard one chilly morning in the mountains. ...
Views: 364 - Give Over to Good - by Submitted on Aug 07, 2023 from Rick HansonIn every moment, you and I and everyone and everything else – from quantum foam to fleeting thoughts, intimate relationships, rainforest ecosystems, and the stars themselves – are each a kind of standing wave, like the ever-changing through a persistent pattern of water rising above a boulder in ...
Views: 342 - Remember the Big Things - by Submitted on Jul 24, 2023 from Rick HansonIn every life, reminders arrive about what's really important. I’ve received some myself, as I’m sure you have, too. Perhaps it was news of a potentially serious health problem, the death of a loved one, or an accident that could have turned fatal. These are uncomfortably concrete messages ...
Views: 363 - Rest - by Submitted on Jul 17, 2023 from Rick HansonThis practice is definitely a case of teaching what you need to learn: I've been working through a big bucket of tasks lately with little chance to rest. (I console myself knowing that the bucket is emptying a lot faster than it's filling with new tasks.) Sometimes you can really feel what ...
Views: 368 - Relax, You've Arrived - by Submitted on Jul 10, 2023 from Rick HansonWe spend so much of our time trying to get somewhere. Part of this comes from our biological nature. To survive, animals – including us – have to be goal-directed, leaning into the future. It’s certainly healthy to pursue wholesome aims, like paying the rent on time, raising children well, ...
Views: 353 - See Your Part - by Submitted on Jul 03, 2023 from Rick HansonIn situations or relationships with any kind of difficulty – tension, feeling hurt, conflicts, mismatches of wants . . . the usual crud – it’s natural to focus on what others have done that’s problematic. This could be useful for a while: it can energize you, highlight what you most care ...
Views: 356 - Drop The Case - by Submitted on Jun 26, 2023 from Rick HansonLately, I've been thinking about a kind of "case" that's been running in my mind about someone in my extended family. The case is a combination of feeling hurt and mistreated, critique of the other person, irritation with others who haven't supported me, views about what should happen that ...
Views: 377 - Make Good Bargains - by Submitted on Jun 19, 2023 from Rick HansonLife is full of tradeoffs between benefits and costs. Sometimes, the benefits are worth the costs. For example, the rewards of going for a run - getting out in fresh air, improving health, etc. - are, for me, at least, worth the costs of losing half an hour of work time while gaining a pair ...
Views: 369 - Receive Faces - by Submitted on Jun 13, 2023 from Rick Hanson[Note: this practice involves our visual system, which for many people is impaired. If this is the case for you, you could adapt my suggestions to focus on the voices of others or a sense of their “energy.”] As our ancestors evolved over millions of years in small bands, continually ...
Views: 395 - Hold Wants Lightly - by Submitted on Jun 05, 2023 from Rick HansonGetting caught up in wanting - wanting both to get what's pleasant and to avoid what's unpleasant - is a major source of suffering and harm for oneself and others. First, a lot of what we want to get comes with a big price tag - such as that second cupcake, constant stimulation via TV and ...
Views: 355 - Embrace Fragility - by Submitted on May 29, 2023 from Rick HansonThe truth of anything is like a mosaic with many tiles and many parts. One part of the truth of things is that they are robust and enduring, whether it's El Capitan in Yosemite or the love of a child for her mother and father. Another part of the truth is that things bruise, tear, erode, ...
Views: 388 - Lighten Up - by Submitted on May 22, 2023 from Rick HansonOn the path of life, most of us are hauling way too much weight. What's in your own backpack? If you're like most of us, you've got too many items on each day's To-Do list and too much stuff in the closet. Too many entanglements with other people. And too many "shoulds," worries, guilts, and ...
Views: 373 - See Progress - by Submitted on May 15, 2023 from Rick HansonThere are always things that are getting worse. For example, over the past year, you probably know someone who has become unemployed or ill or both, and there’s more carbon in the atmosphere inexorably heating up the planet. But if you don’t recognize what’s improving in your own life, then ...
Views: 377 - Trust In Love - by Submitted on May 02, 2023 from Rick HansonTake a breath right now, and notice how abundant the air is, full of life-giving oxygen offered freely by trees and other green-growing things. You can't see the air, but it's always available for you. Love is a lot like the air. It may be hard to see - but it's in you and all around ...
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