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Articles from Rick Hanson | Selfgrowth.com
- Are You Holding Onto Feeling Wronged? - by Submitted on Jun 29, 2015 from Rick HansonFirst, it has two distinct meanings: * To give up resentment or anger * To pardon an offense; to stop seeking punishment or recompense Here, I am going to focus on the first meaning, which is broad enough to include situations where you have not let someone off the hook morally or ...
Views: 1146(1 vote) - Do You Accept The Gift? - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2018 from Rick HansonLife gives to each one of us in so many ways. For starters, there’s the bounty of the senses – including chocolate chip cookies, jasmine, sunsets, wind singing through pine trees, and just getting your back scratched. What does life give you? Consider the kindness of friends and family, ...
Views: 1056(1 vote) - Turning a Negative Nelly Into a Positive Polly. - by Submitted on Nov 22, 2013 from Rick HansonI’ve been talking about ways to Hardwire Your Happiness on the blog lately. So I thought it would be great to give you a sense of how it feels to take in the good. If you are someone who usually focuses on the negative experiences in the world you can turn that around over time by Taking in the ...
Views: 1088(3 votes) - Who are you, deep down? - by Submitted on Jul 29, 2013 from Rick HansonFor many of us, perhaps the hardest thing of all is to believe that "I am a good person." We can climb mountains, work hard, acquire many skills, act ethically - but truly feel that one is good deep down? Nah! We end up not feeling like a good person in a number of ways. For example, I once ...
Views: 1139(1 vote) - "Us" all "Thems" - by Submitted on Nov 07, 2022 from Rick HansonBy “us” all “thems,” I mean finding common ground with every person – especially those you fear or are angry with or who are simply very different from you. These days this practice is more important than ever. For most of the past 300,000 years, our human ancestors lived in small bands of ...
Views: 409 - Accept Dependence - by Submitted on Jul 15, 2024 from Rick HansonWant to try a little experiment? Stop breathing. Really. For a few seconds, maybe a few dozen seconds, and see how it feels. For me, this experiment is an intimate way to experience a deep truth that we live dependently, relying on 10,000 things for physical survival, happiness, ...
Views: 189 - Accept Difficulity - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2014 from Rick HansonSometimes things are difficult. Your legs are tired and you still have to stay on your feet another hour at work. You love a child who's finding her independence through emotional distance from you. A long-term relationship could be losing its spark. It's finals week in college. You're trying to ...
Views: 1241 - Accept Difficulty - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2024 from Rick HansonSometimes things are difficult. Your legs are tired and you still have to stay on your feet another hour at work. You love a child who's finding her independence through emotional distance from you. A long-term relationship could be losing its spark. It's finals week in college. You're trying to ...
Views: 134 - Accept It - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2024 from Rick HansonAs general clusters that each include a number of specific methods, my Top 5 types of practices (all tied for first place) are: Be mindful Love Take in the good Go green Open out The practice of “go green” helps you get out of the brain’s ...
Views: 152 - Accept Them as They Are - by Submitted on Sep 02, 2024 from Rick HansonI admit it: whether close to home or far away, I wish some people were different. Depending on who they are, I wish they'd stop doing things like leaving cabinet doors open in our kitchen, sending me spam emails, or turning a blind eye to global warming. And I wish they'd start doing things like ...
Views: 158 - Admit Fault and Move On - by Submitted on May 03, 2021 from Rick HansonHave you ever watched two people quarrel, or otherwise be stuck in a conflict with each other? Usually, if either or both of them simply acknowledged one or more things, that would end the fight. Recall a time someone mistreated you, let you down, dropped the ball, made an error, spoke ...
Views: 600 - Admit Fault and Move On - by Submitted on Nov 06, 2023 from Rick HansonHave you ever watched two people quarrel, or otherwise be stuck in a conflict with each other? Usually, if either or both of them simply acknowledged one or more things, that would end the fight. Recall a time someone mistreated you, let you down, dropped the ball, made an error, spoke ...
Views: 297 - Are some things getting better? - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2015 from Rick HansonThere are always things that are getting worse. For example, over the past year, you probably know someone who has become unemployed or ill or both, and there's more carbon in the atmosphere inexorably heating up the planet. But if you don't recognize what's improving in your own life, then ...
Views: 1133 - Are We Really So Separate? - by Submitted on Jan 18, 2016 from Rick HansonYour brain evolved in three stages (to simplify a complex process): Reptile - Brainstem, focused on AVOIDING harm Mammal - Limbic system, focused on APPROACHING rewards Primate - Cortex, focused on ATTACHING to "us" With a fun use (to me, at least) of animal themes, the first JOT in ...
Views: 1248 - Are We There Yet? - by Submitted on Dec 28, 2015 from Rick HansonWe spend so much of our time trying to get somewhere. Part of this comes from our biological nature. To survive, animals - including us - have to be goal-directed, leaning into the future. It's certainly healthy to pursue wholesome aims, like paying the rent on time, raising children well, ...
Views: 1229 - Are You All Over The Place? - by Submitted on Jul 18, 2016 from Rick HansonGravity and entropy are powerful processes in the natural world. Gravity draws things together, toward a center, while entropy scatters them into disorder. In much the same way, in our own lives, some things bring us to center, while others disturb and disperse us. In terms of centering, be ...
Views: 1157 - Are You Breathing? - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2017 from Rick Hanson[If for you the breath is associated with trauma and discomfort, you probably shouldn't try this practice in its form below. But you might adapt it to something that is more nurturing for you, such as a saying or image.] Breathing brings you home. Body and mind twine together in the breath. ...
Views: 1110 - Are You Doing Too Much? - by Submitted on Feb 21, 2017 from Rick HansonYou may have seen the old Mickey Mouse movie in which he is working at a conveyor belt in a factory. More and more widgets come at him that he has to handle, and he gets increasingly frazzled as he struggles to keep up. Do you ever feel the same way? Think about all the dishes, emails, ...
Views: 1060 - Are You Exaggerating Sticks While Downplaying Carrots? - by Submitted on Jun 26, 2017 from Rick Hanson"Tell the truth." It's the foundation of science, ethics, and relationships. But we have a brain that evolved to tell lies to help us survive. As I've written before, over several hundred million years our ancestors: Had to avoid two kinds of mistakes: thinking there's a tiger in the ...
Views: 1121 - Are You Feeling Cross? - by Submitted on Sep 05, 2016 from Rick Hanson[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ...
Views: 1098 - Are You Feeling Unneeded Pain? - by Submitted on Oct 12, 2015 from Rick HansonPainful experiences range from subtle discomfort to extreme anguish - and there is a place for them. Sorrow can open the heart, anger can highlight injustices, fear can alert you to real threats, and remorse can help you take the high road next time. But is there really any shortage of ...
Views: 1095 - Are You Feeling Unneeded Pain? - by Submitted on Mar 19, 2018 from Rick HansonPainful experiences range from subtle discomfort to extreme anguish - and there is a place for them. Sorrow can open the heart, anger can highlight injustices, fear can alert you to real threats, and remorse can help you take the high road next time. But is there really any shortage of ...
Views: 1128 - Are You Full to the Rim? - by Submitted on Jan 11, 2016 from Rick HansonOnce upon a time, a scholar came to visit a saint. After the scholar had been orating and propounding for a while, the saint proposed some tea. She slowly filled the scholar's cup: gradually the tea rose to the very brim and began spilling over onto the table, yet she kept pouring and pouring. ...
Views: 1161 - Are You Getting Rope Burn? - by Submitted on Dec 05, 2016 from Rick HansonAs a rock climber and a parent, I know some physical kinds of clinging are good - like to small holds or small hands! But clinging as a psychological state has a feeling of tension in it, and drivenness, insistence, obsession, or compulsion. As experiences flow through the mind - seeing, ...
Views: 1135 - Are You Nurturing Your Body? - by Submitted on Sep 12, 2016 from Rick HansonWhy? [Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture.] The easiest and usually most effective way to replenish your body is through good nutrition. Most of us have a diet that is very different from the one that we are adapted to through millions of years of evolution - a diet of mainly ...
Views: 1088 - Are You Self-Nurturing? - by Submitted on Aug 22, 2016 from Rick Hanson[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ...
Views: 1063 - Are You Stressed or Upset? - by Submitted on May 02, 2016 from Rick HansonThere I was recently, standing in the shower, my mind darting in different directions about projects in process, frazzled about little tasks backing up, uneasy about a tax record from 2010 we couldn't find, feeling irritated about being irritable, hurrying to get to work, body keyed up, internal ...
Views: 1084 - Are You Taking Care Of Yourself? - by Submitted on Aug 15, 2016 from Rick Hanson[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ...
Views: 1050 - Are You Thinking Too Much? - by Submitted on Apr 03, 2017 from Rick HansonThe traditional saying that's this week's practice has been sinking in for me lately. Thoughts have been swirling around like a sandstorm about work, things I've been reading, household tasks, finances, concerns about people, a yard that needs mowing, loose ends, projects, etc. etc. The other ...
Views: 1147 - Are You Working Together? - by Submitted on Aug 29, 2016 from Rick Hanson[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ...
Views: 1070 - Ask Questions - by Submitted on Jul 13, 2020 from Rick HansonMy dad grew up on a ranch in North Dakota. He has a saying from his childhood - you may have heard it elsewhere - that's: "You learn more by listening than by talking." Sure, we often gain by thinking out loud, including discovering our truth by speaking it. But on the whole, listening brings ...
Views: 678 - Ask Questions - by Submitted on Jan 17, 2023 from Rick HansonMy dad grew up on a ranch in North Dakota. He has a saying from his childhood - you may have heard it elsewhere - that's: "You learn more by listening than by talking." Sure, we often gain by thinking aloud, including discovering our truth by speaking it. But on the whole, listening brings ...
Views: 377 - Avoid The Rush - by Submitted on Jun 28, 2021 from Rick HansonAs I was meditating one morning, our cat hopped up onto my lap. It felt sweet to sit there with him. And yet - even though I was feeling fine and had plenty of time, there was this internal pressure to start zipping along with emails and calls and all the other clamoring minutiae of the ...
Views: 516 - Avoid The Rush - by Submitted on Jan 01, 2024 from Rick HansonAs I was meditating one morning, our cat hopped up onto my lap. It felt sweet to sit there with him. And yet - even though I was feeling fine and had plenty of time, there was this internal pressure to start zipping along with emails and calls and all the other clamoring minutiae of the ...
Views: 255 - Back to Basics - by Submitted on Oct 23, 2023 from Rick HansonIn middle school, I thought it would be cool to play a musical instrument and picked the clarinet. My wise parents rented one rather than buying it, and I started practicing. (In the garage because it sounded pretty screechy.) After a week or two of doing scales, I got bored and picked my way ...
Views: 300 - Be Amazed - by Submitted on Feb 24, 2025 from Rick HansonHere are my top five inner practices for helping this year be a good one for you and others (click the links to see the first four): Drop the stone Let it flow Learn as you go “Us” all “thems" Be amazed By “be amazed,” I mean staying open to a sense ...
Views: 33 - Be At Peace With The Pain Of Others - by Submitted on Mar 04, 2025 from Rick HansonHumans are an empathic, compassionate, and loving species, so it is natural to feel sad, worried, or fiery about the troubles and pain of other people. (And about those of cats and dogs and other animals, but I'll focus on human beings here.) Long ago, the Buddha spoke of the "first dart" ...
Views: 32 - Be Benevolent - by Submitted on Nov 28, 2023 from Rick HansonBenevolence is a fancy word that means something simple: good intentions toward living beings, including oneself. This goodwill is present in warmth, friendliness, compassion, ordinary decency, fair play, kindness, altruism, generosity, and love. The benevolent heart leans toward others; it ...
Views: 337 - Be Friendly - by Submitted on Dec 12, 2022 from Rick HansonFriendliness is a down-to-earth approach to others that is welcoming and positive. Think about a time when someone was friendly to you - maybe drawing you into a gathering, saying hello on the sidewalk, or smiling from across the room. How did that make you feel? Probably more included, ...
Views: 407 - Be Helpful - by Submitted on Jun 11, 2024 from Rick HansonWhy? I'm doing a series on my personal top five practices (all tied for first place). I have so far named three: meditate (including mindfulness, self-awareness, and, if you like, prayer), take in the good, and bless (including compassion, generosity, and love). I saw one way to ...
Views: 205 - Be Home - by Submitted on Feb 06, 2024 from Rick HansonThroughout history, people have wondered about human nature. Deep down, are we basically good or bad? When the body is not disturbed by hunger, thirst, pain, or illness, and when the mind is not disturbed by threat, frustration, or rejection, then most people settle into their resting ...
Views: 257 - Be Mind Full of Good - by Submitted on Feb 18, 2025 from Rick HansonIt's kind of amazing: right now, what you think and feel, enjoy and suffer, is changing your brain. The brain is the organ that learns, designed by evolution to be changed by our experiences: what scientists call experience-dependent neuroplasticity. Neurons that fire together, wire ...
Views: 43 - Be the Body - by Submitted on Oct 30, 2023 from Rick HansonAs a kid, I was really out of touch with my body. I hardly noticed it most of the time, and when I did, I prodded it like a mule to do a better job of hauling "me" - the head - around. This approach helped me to soldier through some tough times. But there were costs. Many pleasures were ...
Views: 278 - Beware of Anger - by Submitted on Sep 05, 2022 from Rick HansonAnger is tricky. On the one hand, anger – feeling annoyed, irritated, resentful, fed up, mad, outraged, or enraged – alerts us to real threats, real injuries, and real wrongs that need correcting, and it energizes and fuels us to do something about them. In my family growing up, my parents had ...
Views: 431 - Bless - by Submitted on Jun 03, 2024 from Rick HansonLately, I've been wondering what would be on my personal list of top five practices (all tied for first place). You might ask yourself the same question, knowing that you can cluster related practices under a single umbrella, your list may differ from mine, and your practices may change over ...
Views: 205 - Busy, Busy? - by Submitted on Jan 06, 2016 from Rick HansonThis practice is definitely a case of teaching what you need to learn: I've been working through a big bucket of tasks lately with little chance to rest. (I console myself with knowing that the bucket is emptying a lot faster than it's filling with new tasks.) Sometimes you can really feel ...
Views: 1222 - Can You Be With The Whole Of Your Psyche? - by Submitted on Jul 11, 2017 from Rick HansonWhen you're young, the territory of the psyche is like a vast estate, with rolling hills, forests and plains, swamps and meadows. So many things can be experienced, expressed, wanted, and loved. But as life goes along, most people pull back from major parts of their psyche. Perhaps a swamp of ...
Views: 1121 - Can You Come Home To Yourself? - by Submitted on Mar 06, 2017 from Rick HansonMeditation is to the mind what aerobic exercise is to the body. Like exercise, there are many good ways to do it and you can find the one that suits you best. Studies have shown that regular meditation promotes mindfulness (sustained observing awareness), whose benefits include decreased ...
Views: 1087 - Can You Stay Open To The Pain Of Others? - by Submitted on May 23, 2016 from Rick HansonHumans are an empathic, compassionate, and loving species, so it is natural to feel sad, worried, or fiery about the troubles and pain of other people. (And about those of cats and dogs and other animals, but I'll focus on human beings here.) Long ago, the Buddha spoke of the "first dart" of ...
Views: 1104 - Can You Take a Moment? - by Submitted on Aug 09, 2016 from Rick Hanson[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture - a book written for mothers - focusing on typical situations that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers during the years before their children enter grade school. These are most commonly the years when mothers (biological and adoptive) ...
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