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Articles from Keith Bray | Selfgrowth.com
- Accepting Change - by Submitted on Dec 21, 2008 from Keith BrayChange is a word we hear oh so often. Whether we like it or not, things are going to change; we can influence how they change, and whether the change has positive direction for our life. There is much that directly affects our own well being that is within our control. When the journey to a new ...
Views: 8964 - What Does Sobriety Mean? - by Submitted on Mar 08, 2009 from Keith BrayWHAT DOES SOBRIETY REALY MEAN? WHAT IS SUCCESS? When people hear the word sobriety, they automatically think of freedom from alcohol. When I was finally ready to accept my life was being negatively impacted by the over and improper use of alcohol, sobriety meant exactly that-freedom from ...
Views: 8962(1 vote) - ROCKETED INTO A 4th DIMENSION - by Submitted on Mar 18, 2011 from Keith BrayROCKETED INTO a 4TH DIMENSION of EXISTENCE Over the past weekend, I had the privilege of attending a “spiritual retreat” at a wonderful place of peace called Manresa . What is a spiritual retreat? Sounds out there! For me it is like taking a time out from life and listening to a leader lead ...
Views: 7609(1 vote) - Things Don't Change; We Do - by Submitted on Sep 02, 2008 from Keith BrayThings do not change; we change. --Henry David Thoreau For a man who is in the coaching business, and is on the life journey I’m on, I find the title statement PROFOUND. Think on it and see if you can see the depth of the thought. I spent a good portion of my life thinking I could change ...
Views: 7556 - Affirmation-Addiction Recovery - by Submitted on May 14, 2008 from Keith BrayA real true friend sent this to me. She is going through a lot with a husband who is unfortunately being taken slowly by cancer. Patti is hanging in, hanging on, and despite all that is happening to her and around her, she is so often there for others. This small piece of prose is part of her ...
Views: 5671(1 vote) - AT THE END OF YOUR ARM - by Submitted on Dec 23, 2010 from Keith BrayAT THE END OF YOUR ARM The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm. --Swedish proverb Every now and again a quote comes to you that is just so obvious but true! There are so many looking for help, looking to others to “fix” them and take responsibility for ...
Views: 4427(1 vote) - LET BYGONES BE BYGONES - by Submitted on Nov 12, 2009 from Keith BrayHow to Let Bygones Be Bygones In working with others, I coach clients and sponsees to find tools and answers to issues that prevent them from having the abundant life they want. Things that prevent us from living the life we want and can live are common. Living in the past and collecting new ...
Views: 3442(2 votes) - LEADER or FOLLOWER? - by Submitted on Dec 09, 2008 from Keith BrayLEADER or FOLLOWER? The best leaders are those who know how to follow. --Anonymous Coaching is about asking powerful questions. Leader or follower falls into that category, and it is one I contemplate often because of the wide spread implications. Give it some thought. Am I a leader or a ...
Views: 3419 - Want To Get Rid Of Your Character Defects? - by Submitted on Jun 17, 2008 from Keith BrayAt this juncture of creating new footprints in the journey of life, I was well aware, more so than I’d ever been, of my defects of character. Awareness is wonderful, but I wanted change that would give me a much better life. I wanted my defects gone! By this time, many things had changed ...
Views: 2936 - LYING TO FEEL ACCEPTED - by Submitted on Dec 15, 2009 from Keith BrayLYING TO FEEL ACCEPTED I blog frequently for several reasons. I have “journalled” or blogged for years as a part of my life recovery. Simply, it lets me get things that are on the inside to the outside. I was taught that this was healthy behaviour and guess what? It helps. Honest sharing is ...
Views: 2884(6 votes) - The Crab Bucket Syndrome - by Submitted on Aug 30, 2008 from Keith BrayWhat a fabulous day yesterday with my grand kids. With no other adults around, and with the range of things that we did, I loved seeing the day through the eyes of children; and being “silly” at times also. I’m so grateful that the journey I’m on allowed me to have a day ...
Views: 2722 - WHO'S BEHIND YOUR SUCCESS? - by Submitted on Dec 13, 2010 from Keith BrayWHO’S BEHIND YOUR SUCCESS? Behind an able man there are always other able men. --Chinese proverb The similarities between this and the saying “Behind every good man is a good woman” are striking. How many say “I am self-made”? No one succeeds alone. Most of us have had a strong desire in ...
Views: 2498 - GOT TRUST ISSUES? - by Submitted on Nov 22, 2010 from Keith BrayTRUST ISSUES? It’s amazing how many people I run across that have major trust issues. The causes vary. In the information below, you will find some thoughts on dealing with trust issues, and issues of trust that come up in relationships. If you conclude that self-esteem or “the past” ...
Views: 2471(3 votes) - 2012-Self-esteem - by Submitted on Jan 11, 2012 from Keith Bray2012-Mission to Improve Self-esteem To be of service to others, I do a lot of reading and research. Original thinking is fine but what I know and coach originated from others. The biggest issues I help others to come to grips with are related to self-esteem. Today I share writing from ...
Views: 2372(1 vote) - Step 3: Turn it Over - by Submitted on Jan 03, 2009 from Keith BrayEach year I like to run through the 12 steps as written in the book Alcoholics Anonymous. These steps were an adaptation of many works before them, and are a universal truth for all people who want to enjoy good mental Hygiene and an abundant life. They have been adopted by some 150 self-help ...
Views: 2285 - GOALS and SELF-ESTEEM - by Submitted on Jul 02, 2009 from Keith BrayGoals and Self-Esteem In my own funny way, I have always had goals. For a long period of time, my self-esteem was low. Safe to say, I was not a fan of me from the inside out. The process of "life recovery", as I have experienced, is a process that is from the inside out. To quote an old ...
Views: 2163(3 votes) - Scared To Take Chances? - by Submitted on Jul 16, 2008 from Keith BrayScared To Take Chances? Being afraid to try and fail was part of the turmoil I faced before making a decision to regain my life and recover from the demons. I get some great readings, and this one from Hazelden resonated! If you're never scared or embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take ...
Views: 2074 - DISCOVERING YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE (questions to ask) - by Submitted on Dec 21, 2009 from Keith BrayDISCOVERING YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE Questions To Ask Often I’m asked what it is a coach does. The simple answer is to help others discover what is important for them to accomplish, set goals and then guide them to getting it done. Often people either directly or indirectly tell me they have hit ...
Views: 2054(3 votes) - EGO RUNNING WILD! - by Submitted on Jul 31, 2009 from Keith BrayEGO RUNNING WILD! Thought to Ponder . . .The ego seeks the destination; the soul seeks the journey What a deadly conflict I had going on for so many years, my ego searching for the destination and my forgotten soul seeking a journey! It made it hard to live in this skin of mine; seeking and ...
Views: 2054(1 vote) - CHOICE-Cleaned Up, Locked Up, Covered Up or Broken Up - by Submitted on Jul 24, 2009 from Keith BrayCHOICE-CLEANED (sobered) UP, LOCKED UP, COVERED UP or Broken Up I don't know when I first heard this, but since I have chosen a process of life recovery and the coaching profession, the truth of this "choice" has become very real. I hope that those of you who have taken the time to read this ...
Views: 2007(1 vote) - Easier, Softer Way - by Submitted on Aug 25, 2008 from Keith BrayThis is a phrase used in the bible of the original 12 step organization (known as the Big Book). As I have traveled the road of life, I often found myself looking for an easier, softer way to get what I wanted. In school, I dogged assignments and read other peoples notes. I have tried get rich ...
Views: 1950 - MASSIVE INSECURITY - by Submitted on Sep 03, 2009 from Keith BrayMASSIVE INSECURITY I just read an article by a writer named Lisa Kogan on this topic. It was a great reminder that massive insecurity is an affliction suffered by a huge cross section of the entire population. We with addictions think it is unique to us. I have believed for years that while ...
Views: 1934(3 votes) - Can You Feel Your Feelings? - by Submitted on Dec 30, 2008 from Keith BrayThis is a time of the year when for a lot of us, emotions and feelings run high. Family, or lack of family; friends or lack of friends; loneliness, big ups and big downs, and of course the lingering resentments, something many feel at this time of the year. One of the big challenges I faced in ...
Views: 1915 - NO GAIN WITHOUT PAIN? - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2010 from Keith BrayNO GAIN WITHOUT PAIN Man, those words flowed from the lips of my old football coach Mr. Fleming many years ago. I still remember them well. Back then, you knew exactly when the pain would end (right after practice) and after playing a while, you got smart and learned you in deed could make ...
Views: 1865(2 votes) - SELFISHNESS - by Submitted on Dec 23, 2010 from Keith BraySelfishness Every now and again I reflect back on my life to a time before I started what I know call a “co-creative process of life recovery”. There were many negative qualities that were at work most of the time. One that I really regret is selfishness. I wanted the world to see me as a ...
Views: 1823 - Importance Of Feedback-Life Coaching - by Submitted on May 21, 2008 from Keith BrayYesterday, I had a mentoring session with a fellow coach, and attended my online class. Funny how you hear things when you should (if you listen) and how one thought can lead into another. Yesterday I gave thought to benchmarking progress along the journey and how hard it can be to recognize ...
Views: 1780 - Free Rent In Your Head? - by Submitted on Jun 27, 2008 from Keith BrayResentments can kill As we look at making amends, I was reminded again today about resentments. If I’m ever going to return to my old ways of dealing with the less pleasant side of life, it will likely be due to a resentment that I allow to remain unresolved. If my head is an apartment ...
Views: 1765 - You Are Special and Unique - by Submitted on Sep 09, 2008 from Keith BrayYou Are Special and Unique As I do my coaching thing, there is one thing that is a mainstay. Each of us is special and unique. Each of us has talents, and each of us is capable of setting goals and achieving them. I am a recovered person from addictions who is constantly recovering. This ...
Views: 1728 - A DUCK. WHO ME? - by Submitted on Mar 12, 2011 from Keith BrayA DUCK? WHO ME? One of the joys of living in the times we do is the internet. It gives us a huge access to information and people. Through the site www.myrecoveryspace.com, I have had the good fortune of befriending Dennis S. in the California desert. Dennis writes a lot of things I can relate ...
Views: 1714 - CAN YOU TURN IT OVER? - by Submitted on Jan 07, 2011 from Keith BrayCAN YOU TURN IT OVER? A small change had started in my life. A journey of transformation had started and I was starting to recover a life I wanted. I had some hope sanity could return to my life. As I worked through the journey as laid out in the 12 steps, I hit something that called for a ...
Views: 1707(2 votes) - The Wizard of Oz: A Different Look at Coaching - by Submitted on Jan 27, 2009 from Keith BrayPeople really have trouble at times getting their head around coaching. As pure coaching as a discipline is new to a lot of people, let’s see if this analogy from my school-Rhema International- rings some bells. There have always been coaches; we just don’t know how many we are ...
Views: 1669 - Family Relationships - by Submitted on Jul 14, 2009 from Keith BrayHow many of us have been negatively effected by bad family relationships- past or current? There is no required school for parenting, and we don't choose our families. In my own case, family relationships had a huge impact on the negative feelings I had toward myself; and these started way ...
Views: 1656(2 votes) - ACCEPTING-VERY HARD - by Submitted on Jan 11, 2011 from Keith BrayADMITTING-VERY HARD Admitted to God (Good Orderly Direction source), to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.-12 steps/5th step Admitting can be such a big word and a very hard thing to do. When looking thoroughly at myself and my past, I unearthed many things I ...
Views: 1629 - A Dilemma- "WANT" vs. "NEED" - by Submitted on Feb 21, 2011 from Keith BrayA Dilemma-“WANT” vs. “NEED” Things are said and life issues sometimes converge, and really cause the mind to ponder. I have just gone through a situation like that, and it relates to work life/career equally to life recovery, life transformation and getting addiction help. There is a huge ...
Views: 1628 - A SPIRITUAL LIFESTYLE - by Submitted on Jun 18, 2009 from Keith BrayA Spiritual (not religious) Lifestyle Thought to Ponder . . .True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. As I made a decision to do something about my life as it was back in 1994, early on I had the GOD thing thrown at me. Like most, I had attended Sunday school as a kid and at ...
Views: 1627(1 vote) - Need A Recovery Program? - by Submitted on Apr 08, 2011 from Keith BrayNEED A RECOVERY PROGRAM? I am blessed to be acquainted with a great group of people who are involved in addiction recovery and helping others. Patrick Meninga who operates the web site www.spiritualriver.com is one of those people. Over the years, Patrick and I have collaborated on several ...
Views: 1619(2 votes) - Attitude: It's Everything - by Submitted on Jun 27, 2009 from Keith BrayAttitude. A great word and it reflects in every aspect of our lives! "And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone -- even alcohol (or other addictions or destructive behaviour). For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor (Or old behaviours).If ...
Views: 1611 - Chasing Happiness? - by Submitted on Dec 06, 2010 from Keith BrayCHASING HAPPINESS? “One is happy as a result of one's own efforts, once one knows the necessary ingredients of happiness — simple tastes, a certain degree of courage, self denial to a point, love of work, and, above all, a clear conscience. Happiness is no vague dream, of that I now feel ...
Views: 1596(1 vote) - ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT - by Submitted on Nov 18, 2010 from Keith BrayATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT After a number of recent conversations and happenings, coupled with self reflection, I think the biggest change in my life over the past number of years has been an attitude adjustment. Years ago, it was far too easy to fall into the negative. One of my symptoms was ...
Views: 1581(1 vote) - TAKING PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY - by Submitted on Jul 09, 2010 from Keith BrayTAKING PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY S...t happens; there is no doubt that this is true in my life and yours. We have no control over most things external to ourselves! What happens to us is not as important as how we respond. From my friends at Hazelton, a great way to look at things. Read and ...
Views: 1566 - My Inside Versus Your Outside - by Submitted on Aug 01, 2008 from Keith BrayWhat a great reminder I had today. This is something, without thinking about, I know I periodically do! How about you? They say you can’t judge a book by its cover, yet publishers spend a fortune to create great covers. As a person, for years, I did all I could to create a great exterior, ...
Views: 1558 - BETWEEN THE EARS - by Submitted on Jan 05, 2011 from Keith BrayBetween The Ears “Life is a game played on a 5 inch course, the distance between your ears” As well move into a new year, the above statement is worth remembering, only because it is true. It is adapted from a quote Bobby Jones made about golf. I am often struck by the similarities between ...
Views: 1548 - AM I INSANE? - by Submitted on Jan 07, 2011 from Keith BrayAM I INSANE? I had not thought this question out very well back in the 90’s. While I did crazy things, the life I was living would have indicated that at times I was nuts, but no one would have considered me insane. I had a responsible job, a family, a home, two or more cars, no debt, ...
Views: 1543 - MAKING A TOUGH DECISION - by Submitted on Sep 29, 2009 from Keith BrayMAKING A TOUGH DECISION No apologies to anyone. I believe that the "12 Steps" are a great model for good mental hygiene for EVERY HUMAN BEING. Have people had success dealing with a myriad of addictions using the steps? You bet they have. 12 step programmes have played a role in millions of ...
Views: 1542(1 vote) - I Saw the Enemy - by Submitted on Jun 15, 2009 from Keith BrayAlways interesting to see what thoughts run through my head as I try to shut down my conscious thinking and spend quiet time in the morning. About fifteen years ago I sat in a treatment centre, Homewood, in Guelph, Ontario. I had been alcohol and drug free for about 3 months, and this did allow ...
Views: 1540(1 vote) - 2012 - by Submitted on Feb 13, 2012 from Keith BrayA NEW YOU IN 2012? READY FOR CHANGE? Here we are, 9 days in to a new year and most things back to normal. By now, a majority of people who have made resolutions have broken them As you looked at a new year, what changes have you committed to make in how you live? More importantly, how are ...
Views: 1533(1 vote) - Do YOU Have Personal Strength? - by Submitted on Feb 22, 2010 from Keith BrayHave YOU Got Personal Strength?(God Thing) I ask this question for a reason. I am very interested in hearing honest and open answers from other. I am particularly interested in hearing from those who can respond without giving away a particular religious bias. For many years I have known ...
Views: 1512(1 vote) - WHO AM I? - by Submitted on Jan 07, 2011 from Keith BrayWHO AM I? I can remember those dark days back in 1994 that I really did not know who I was. Have you been there or are you at that point today. I knew the roles that I played, amongst them husband, father, employer, community volunteer, company leader; roles I played on life’s stage like an ...
Views: 1512(3 votes) - DO YOU ENGAGE IN VIOLENCE? - by Submitted on Mar 29, 2010 from Keith BrayDo you engage in violence? Time once again to give thought to points raised by my coaching mentor, Dr. Randin Brons, in his Idea Engineer. At first blush, this headline evoked an immediate “NO”. Violence is not something I’ve ever really engaged in. Then I reread the articles and quotes, and ...
Views: 1511(3 votes) - DO YOU KNOW YOU? - by Submitted on Feb 11, 2010 from Keith BrayDO YOU KNOW YOU? Once we understand ourselves, the rest of living falls in line. What a great line, and makes me ask the question- Do you know you? At first, the initial answer is likely “yes, of course I do”. Funny, way back when, I would have and did react the same way. The biggest ...
Views: 1509(3 votes)