Q & A with a Dr. Romance reader:
Q: I would like your advice and input. I have been working in business for 12 years as a CPA and have recently been quite frustrated with it. Recently I did some career/interests/aptitude testing and found that the work I do now is pretty much what I ... Views: 1004
When I was a girl, growing up in the small township of Rockland, New York, there was a tiny post office, which was a small room with a separate entry in the house next door. Rockland’s official postmistress was Clara Weiss, who seemed very elderly even when I was a very small child. She ... Views: 1002
Dear Dr. Romance
A question for you: I have a female friend that I dated for 7 months - she dumped me - and is, I think, dating some other guy.
The question is: I have tried to ask her for 5 or 6 different events - and have gotten turned down for each one - with some excuse - the excuse sounds ... Views: 999
Dr. Romance writes: The average person pays more attention to what he or she's saying or thinking about than what he or she is hearing, or how his or her words are "landing" on the other person. This self-involvement gets worse during an argument. You can become a much more effective ... Views: 998
Dr. Romance asks: What is the best New Year's resolution you can make for your happiness? To let go of Anxiety. These days, it seems that there’s one disaster after another. Not only do we have do deal with an angry Mother Nature, but all sorts of fanatics and psychopaths are on the ... Views: 996
Dear Dr. Romance:
I have just read your article that appeared on yahoo today on the issue of having an older partner.
First let me thank you for bringing up such topic, as it has been considered for a long time as a classified one. second, i have some questions that i need clarify for ... Views: 990
Dear Dr. Romance:
My entire adult life, I have gone out to all the places you're told to go to meet someone special. Nothing. I never even get asked out. It's like I'm invisible, and my life has wasted away because there's not a damn thing I can to do to 'make' someone ... Views: 987
Recently, Dr. Romance has been asked a lot about how people can overcome paralysis and self-sabotage, so I thought I’d pass on my ideas on the subject. Getting in your own way is all about how you relate your yourself. In addition to not managing your time effectively, ... Views: 986
Dear Dr. Romance:
My male friend likes to look at good looking women a second time and more and if the woman is looking at him, he will stare at her. I have a friend that is nine years younger than I am. I am the age of his older brother.We have been seeing each other for two and a ... Views: 985
Dr. Romance writes: The average person pays more attention to what she's saying or thinking about than what she is hearing, or how her words are "landing" on the other person. This self-involvement gets worse during an argument. You can become a much more effective communicator by using what I ... Views: 983
Dear Dr. Romance:
Your article on "Fair Fight Guidelines" is wonderful!!! My major issue is that I cry upon a disagreement. This prevents me to think clearly, act maturely and interact directly. Would you please address this issue?
Dear Reader:
Thank you for the ... Views: 975
None of us wants to think about it, but the standard definition of a totally successful relationship is the old, traditional til death do us part. Any time we love, whether its a life partner, a dear friend, a child, a sibling, a parent or even a beloved pet, we are risking ... Views: 975
Dear Dr. Romance:I found your site on an internet search. I am in an abusive relationship and am financially dependent on him. I have made him leave several times, only to take him back because of monies. He is an ex cop. I have phoned the authorities many times, they ... Views: 974
Dear Dr. Romance:
I'll admit, I just don't understand men. Do they want us to be perfect all the time? I mean, I think I'm a pretty okay person. I honestly like myself for who I am. It took me a long time to get to this point. I'm not a model, but reasonably attractive for a woman in her 40s. ... Views: 972
Dr. Romance writes:
Probably the most prevalent question I’m asked in my counseling practice is "Where is love?" Clients want to know why they can’t find a successful life partnership, why a friend or family member won’t respond as they would like, even why they don’t love themselves. ... Views: 968
Dr. Romance writes:
In my therapy practice, I witness a lot of confusion about the proper role of judgement in life and relationships. Often, when I ask clients to analyze whether a person they’re dating has good character, they tell me they don’t want to be judgmental. People in twelve step ... Views: 966
Dear Dr. Romance:
What is wrong with me? Angry, sad, blah? It's 5 am and i'm still awake. i'm 29, single (i don't mind), i go to school, an ok job, pets. i'm not starving, as long at there's a roof over my head i'm good to go. so many things i really want to do. i get into it then i don't ... Views: 964
Dear Dr. Romance:
I wanted to get someone else's take on what is going on in my marriage right now. My problem is that right now my wife and I do not have sex all that often, we average about once every month and half to two months. I have tried talking to my wife about this subject before and ... Views: 962
Dr. Romance writes: Many people who come to me for therapy have trouble with anger. It may be trouble in expressing anger effectively, losing control with their anger, or becoming the victim of someone else's abuse. Understanding how anger works and what it really is can help you manage ... Views: 960
Dear Dr. Romance:I am having trouble in my relationship. My biggest problems are fibbing and patience. Fibbing is what my fiancee calls it, I call it extending the truth a little further than it really is. But, Patience is the thing I've really having trouble with and that I need your help ... Views: 957
Dear Dr Romance:
I hope you will be able to provide me with an insight. I was in a relationship with a man I genuinely loved and wanted future with. Our relationship was lovely to start with but after a few months problems started to emerge: another woman told me he was in a ... Views: 957
Dear Dr. Romance:
I need relationship advice!!!? I have been with my girlfriend for 4 months now and her best friend who's a girl is also my best friend and I'm very close with the best friend. me and my girlfriend do fight a lot but there are times where I'm in love with her. and me and the ... Views: 954
Dear Dr. Romance:
I have been married for about 25 yrs. 14 yrs ago, I realized that other men around my husband make him much happier than i could. He laughs and i can tell he likes it, He keeps a very long 10-12 hr days working, very dedicated to work, but he drives to ... Views: 953
Dear Dr. Romance:
I'm at a loss as to what to do. I'm married to a man that I sleep in the same bed (our daughter co-sleeps with us) with but other than that not much else. We are in our thirties, and we've been married about two years but have been living together for longer. In ... Views: 952
Dear Dr. Romance: I was so interested in your article "Getting to Yes" about Attentive listening...what a powerful strategy and descriptive techniques. Here is a but.....I have????? Now, what if ....as you are listening you recognize the signals you ... Views: 951
Dear Dr. Romance:
Last week my husband and I had an argument over something so small like not getting up to give our kid his medicine. Just because I didn't get up he started calling me names and he pushed me from the bed. Currently, we decided we needed time apart so we ... Views: 948
Dear Dr. Romance:
I was beaten unconcious by a client. He is a convicted sex offender and gang member who has been put in jail and let out many times for crimes against women. He has told people he is going to kill me. I continue to go to court on the issue and they simply won't help me and say ... Views: 947
Once you have gone through the wrenching experience of loss or divorce, it's not easy to pick up the pieces and find a new love. If you have children, they have been through a lot of upset, also. So when you do find a new love and want to create a blended family in a new way, these ... Views: 947
Dr. Romance writes: There is so much unrest in the world today: we are still in two wars, terrorism seems to be endemic worldwide, and domestic violence still dominates the news. We still need to heed the old bumper sticker: TEACH PEACE. The more current one on my car says “Peace is ... Views: 947
Dear Dr. Romance: My husband complains that life is a habitrail that he has to get on everyday and he is not being reloaded. I have tried everything I know how to make things better for him. I don't know how to reply anymore, and honestly I am not sure there is ... Views: 944
Dr. Romance writes:
Many of my clients come in with complaints about personal habits that feel toxic in their lives. Just as you can detox your body when you’re feeling sluggish, it’s also possible to detox your emotional life. Here are some of the most common ways your life can ... Views: 941
Dr. Romance writes:
Many of my clients come in with complaints about personal habits that feel toxic in their lives. Just as you can detox your body when you’re feeling sluggish, it’s also possible to detox your emotional life. Here are some of the most common ways your life can back up on ... Views: 940
Dr. Romance writes:
Ever wondered how con artists can get away with all they do? They know how to charm people, and they have mastered the art of looking as if they belong. Because they have no feelings of guilt about misrepresenting themselves, they can pull it off.
But you ... Views: 939
Dear Dr. Romance:
I am a reader and a fan of It Ends with You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction. It's been a big help to me. Thank you! I am looking for a therapist in my city to help me sort through my life's direction. I have been living a life that someone else in ... Views: 936
Dr. Romance wishes you a Happy Thanksgiving!
A lot of people aren’t very good at looking at the positive. I hear a lot of negativity, blaming and complaining daily in my counseling office, and I find the more negative people are, the worse their lives work. Talking about how bad it all is seems ... Views: 935
Dear Dr. Romance:
Is it possible to love someone without ever dating them? If so, how can you tell that you are in love?
Dear Reader:
Yes, it's possible to fall in love without dating. For example, if you have a close friend, classmate, work associate, neighbor or friend of a friend ... Views: 933
Dear Dr. Romance:
I am confused, i am in love with this woman but she refuses to remove the dozen roses her ex gave her and are now dead. She says she doesn't want him she just wants me but it's hard to swallow when every time we are in the bedroom there are the dead roses from her ... Views: 931
I have encountered so many people who have been disappointed, ripped off or worse when dating online, that I drew up some guidelines for keeping yourself safe.
Dr. Romance’s guide to dating safely:
Be skeptical, not gullible. When you're meeting dates online (it is not dating until it's ... Views: 931
Dr. Romance writes: In my counseling office, I see a lot of damaged relationships because people don’t know how to ask for what they want, or don’t think it’s OK. Whether it's your couple relationship, family connections, friends or work colleagues, not asking for what you want means you’ll ... Views: 930
Dear Dr. Romance:
I am 23 years old. I have been feeling lonely since high school and recently, its been getting worse. I feel like I can't have really close relationships with women and yet that is what I crave most right now. I recently cut off a friendship of 5 years because my ... Views: 923
Dear Dr. Romance:
I am a happily married man in my mid-forties with 2 small kids who has become overwhelmingly infatuated with a 22 year old co-worker. She is friendly but certainly not coquettish and there is no suggestion she reciprocates. I have no intention of trying to pursue ... Views: 921
Dear Dr. Romance:
I came across your article on "The Nail in the Fence: Healing Relationship Wounds". I am a thirty-something man living on the West Coast. My wife and I have been together for ten years, married for six. We have three small children, and my wife has a pre-teen daughter ... Views: 920
Dr. Romance writes:
OK, so you're disappointed. Your dream has ended in the trash. So, after you get finished with laying on the floor, kicking your heels, and screaming; or going on a drunken binge, or beating someone up, you find you're still disappointed, and all ... Views: 920
Dear Dr. Romance:
I saw your article "Age Differences in Dating " I'm single, in my early thirties. for the last, i'd say 6 years, i have been extremely attracted to women in their forties. it's both a physical and mental attraction. i live in an upscale part of the ... Views: 918
Dear Dr. Romance,
Not knowing just where to begin, I will simply state that I am a man in my mid-fifties, who possesses exceptional health and fitness, and who has been in love with a much younger woman, (mid-thirties), for many years and who has just lost her husband through ... Views: 914
Dear Dr. Romance:
I am in a new relationship for a few months. I haven't dated for a couple of years on the advice of my therapist. I met a really nice guy on an online dating service which was totally out of my character. He is a really nice guy (Thank God) He lives in a different state ... Views: 913
Dear Dr. Romance: I'm terrified to recommit
Dear Dr. Romance:
I'm in my mid-twenties and a professional. I recently brokeup from a bad relationship with my fiancee, and lost everything. Its been sometime and I've moved on I'm doing well, but find ... Views: 913
Dear Dr. Romance:
I heard you on the radio today and I think that this is my last hope. My dad told me to listen to you this afternoon, since I have been having problems with my marriage. I am in my late twenties and I have 3 children under four years old. My husband is two years ... Views: 912
Dear Dr. Romance:
I don't want to be here anymore. Be here on this earth that is, be here in this ole' body of mine. Perhaps you can help. I think I'm simply looking for some inspiration. Also, when I think about no longer being "alive"... I am comforted. This feeling of calm comes over ... Views: 909
Dear Dr. Romance:
This is a diificult one for you, my daughter's stepdaughter was molested by my father about two years ago, because of it we had financial issues, had to leave our home and buy another and go through a long court proceeding, which ended several months ago. A month later, my ... Views: 909