Dear Dr. Romance:

I have been dating a guy for 3 years now. He still lives at home with his parents he is very polite we go to church together. He bought our rings last year and we were going to get married this year.  I cancelled for this year. I dont know what bipolar is but i wonder about him. His mom and sister and dad are a big factor I am also wondering about his controlling issues. I know you don't know me at all I am trying to tell you a lot in a little time. I was going to try add more education to my college diploma . It seems like whenever i try to improve myself he wants to somehow start some kind of distraction I also have a beautiful daughter who attends a private Christian grammar school. He just doesnt understand her. I dont think his parents let him be a kid.  His family are doing well they want him to get married , but don't want him to grow up. He is nine years younger than me. I have a college diploma in computer networking , he is car mechanic. I know i need to let go but it is hard. I think he does too and he is letting go.  We are supposed to go to his parents house on Sunday. My dad said to go ahead and go. I made the commitment it will be hard.

Dear Reader:

I can't tell if your guy is bipolar without seeing him, but I do know It's very bad for your daughter for you to get together with a man who doesn't understand her.  It's not the difference in your ages that's a problem, it's his controlling behavior and the fact that you're uncomfortable with how he relates to your daughter.  If you both agree that you're breaking up, it's not necessary to visit his family, but if your situation is not yet resolved, it will probably be easier to go.  Either way, it's time for you to let go and move on.

Please read my "Dating Guidelines for Single Parents" at  so that you won't get yourself in another situation like this one. How to Be Happy Partners: Working it out Together will help you find a more suitable relationship in easier ways.

How to be Happy Partners

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Author's Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.