Dear Dr. Romance:

My entire adult life, I have gone out to all the places you're told to go to meet someone special. Nothing. I never even get asked out. It's like I'm invisible, and my life has wasted away because there's not a damn thing I can to do to 'make' someone want me. I'm no size 0, but I'm not an elephant either. I have a great personality (that one again!), but I can't get my friends to understand that I simply refuse to put myself through more pain and humiliation by going to a dance and never getting asked to dance. I feel like such a damned freak. Can you help me?"

Dear Reader:

You're not a freak. Lots of good, worthwhile people have this problem. Have you had someone review your online profile? Maybe it doesn't really let people know who you are. Going to a dance and sitting on the sidelines waiting for someone to ask you is a losing proposition for anyone.

Get your great personality front and center, where guys can see it. Go to small group activities, where you can actually talk to people. If you are at a big event, learn how to approach a guy and say, "Hi. How are you tonight?" Compliment something he's wearing, like "That's an interesting belt, or shoes." And when he says "thank you," ask a question about it. "Why did you choose that one?" Saying pleasant things, followed by simple questions, gets the conversation going. "The Fine Art of Squirrel Hunting"  has all the information you need to catch your guy.  "Guidelines for Successful Dating" will show you how to interact successfully on a date. 

The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make after Forty can help you rebuild your self image, and set yourself up for a great relationship.

After 40 book cover createspace

For low-cost counseling, email me at

Author's Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.

Dr. Tessina, is CRO (Chief Romance Officer) for, a website designed to strengthen relationships and guide couples through the various stages of their relationship with personalized tips, courses, and online couples counseling. Online, she’s known as “Dr. Romance” Dr. Tessina appears frequently on radio, and such TV shows as “Oprah”, “Larry King Live” and ABC News.