Dear Dr. Romance:

 My male friend likes to look at good looking women a second time and more and if the woman is looking at him, he will stare at her. I have a friend that is nine years younger than I am. I am the age of his older brother.We have been seeing each other for two and a half years. Since a year ago, he wanted to stop having intercourse, which we were having on weekends only. I got upset when he said he wants to stop fornicating with me because it is a sin. I am a Christian and I know that is not good to have sex with someone you are not married to.  He says he cannot marry me because of the way I raised my kids (that I cannot say no to them, according to him.) Then, now he said I should not go to his house on weekends because he has to grade papers. He is getting a teaching certificate, and I am getting one. I have not found a job yet, and he says, it could be that God will not get me a job until I change my heart and stop wanting to fornication with him.I have asked God for forgiveness and strength, and asked that my friends heart be changed to see marriage as a good thing. I think he is afraid of commitment. He is kind of controlling.  Let me know what you think.

Dear Reader

I'm afraid he's done with you, and he doesn't have the guts to tell you outright. So, he's dropping hints and hoping you'll catch on. I'm guessing he's already involved with someone else, which is why he doesn't want to see you on weekends.

Let go. If he really wants you, make him come after you. Focus on enjoying what's good in your life, church, family, friends. You don't need someone who doesn't act like he cares about you.  You deserve love and happiness, and a relationship you don't have to be ashamed of. Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences, will help you understand him, and also find a better partner. "When Love is Kind: Mutuality in Relationships" will help you form a better idea of what relationships should be like.   "Where is Love?" and "Dating: the Fine Art of Squirrel Hunting" will show you how to find love in your real life.

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Author's Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.