Early Deprivation: Can A Woman Punish Men If She Had An Abusive Father?

If a woman were to step back and reflect on her life, what she may see is that she is often mean and even cruel toward men. She might see that she has been this way for quite some time.

What could enter her mind is that part of her believes that this is how men deserve to be treated. This part can believe that men are bad, take advantage of women and need to be put in their place.

One Outlook

Based on this, this part will believe that how she behaves is justified and that she is doing the right thing. To this part, then, there is going to be no reason for her to change her behaviour.

Most, if not all, of her female friends could have the same outlook, with them also treating men in the same way. In fact, most of their conversations could revolve around how badly men behave and how they deserve to be harmed.

One Experience

Now, when it comes to what she does to undermine men, there can be what she does in her personal and professional life. So, when it comes to the former, she can have male friends and be in a relationship with a man and often put them down and humiliate them.

She might also use these men for money and other resources. But, no matter how she treats these men or what she says about men, they might not leave her side.

The Other Side

And, when it comes to the latter, she could treat her colleagues or her male customers badly. She could have a ‘normal’ job, or she could be a ‘content creator’, where she sells pictures and videos of herself.

Once again, no matter how she treats them or what she says about men, these men might continue to stay around or give her money. In both of these cases, these men might not value themselves and believe that they deserve to be treated badly by a woman.

A Replay

If so, this can show that they were treated badly by their own mother and are unconsciously trying to be loved by her. This deeper part of them is blind and has no sense of time, which is why it won’t see that another woman is not their mother and that it is too late to be loved by her.

An unloving woman will, then, symbolically, represent their mother, and they will struggle to be loved by her, just as they would have struggled to be loved by their own mother. But as another woman is not their mother, and it is too late, they will be deprived and wounded all over again.

The next Stage

Anyway, after thinking about how she behaves and what is going on inside her, what can enter her mind is that it is as though she was mistreated by a man or a number of men at one point, and now she is getting her own back. She might not need to think too much to remember when this was, as she might remember a man or a number of men who mistreated her.

She might have been put down and humiliated by this man or these men, and even physically harmed. If this is the case, how one man or a number of men have treated her will have caused her to mistreat just about every man that she has come into contact with.

A Big Impact

After realising this, she could be shocked and feel guilty and ashamed of how she has behaved. Either way, the experiences that she has had will have been generalised by her brain, and all men will be held accountable for how a few men have behaved.

With this in mind, it will be a good idea for her to face her inner wounds and to begin to heal them. That is, of course, if she doesn’t want to behave in the same way or cause so much harm.

Going Deeper

However, while how she behaves can be the result of what she has experienced as an adult and even as a teenager, it can go back even further. How she typically treats men and how she has been treated by a number of men can largely be a consequence of how her father treated her as a child.

Throughout her formative years, her father might have made her life a living hell. She might have continually been controlled, put down, humiliated and physically harmed by him.

A Brutal Time

A stage of her life when she needed to feel safe and secure and be supported and loved to grow and develop in the right way, would have been a time when she felt unsafe, insecure, unsupported and unloved. To handle this, her brain would have repressed how she felt and a number of her needs.

This would have involved her losing touch with her connected true self and developing a disconnected false self. Furthermore, as she was egocentric and was unable to see how wounded her father was, she would have personalised what took place.

The Outcome

It was then not that her father couldn’t recognise her value or love her; it was that she was worthless and unlovable. Additionally, she would have believed that her needs and feelings were bad.

But, although her father couldn’t provide her with the love that she needed, she is likely to have struggled to be loved by him. Deep down, she would have lived in the hope that if she behaved in a certain way, he would love her.

It’s over

This stage of her life will be over, but a big part of her won’t have moved on and will still be trying to resolve this stage of her life. When it comes to the men who she mistreats, these will, to her unconscious, symbolically represent her father, and this will allow her to experience indirect revenge.

Yet, when she is with a man who mistreats her, this man will, to her unconscious, also symbolically represent her father, but she will be engaging in the old struggle for his love. She will hope, once again, that if she behaves in a certain way, she will be loved.

Moving Forward

Taking all this into account, for her to gradually put his stage of her life behind her, she will have beliefs to question, pain to face and work through, and unmet developmental needs to experience. This will take courage, patience and persistence.

Awareness

If a woman can relate to this and she is ready to change her life, she may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.