Salute to Fathers

I am a drum major for justice and an ambassador for love. Therefore, I have to advocate in support for fathers. This article is written out of support and respect for fathers (who in many instances do not get proper validation). Society must begin to give fathers their flowers. They should not be treated as cash registers. They efforts make a difference!

Fathers come in many forms such as biological, step-father, grandfather, PaPa, Play father, Pops, God-father, Spiritual, mentors and more.

Fathers are the pillars in the development of a child’s emotional well-being. They provide physical, spiritual, financial and psychological support. Their role expands past being the breadwinners. They are protectors, teachers, disciplinarians, role models, mentors, warriors, fixers, celebrants and emotional anchors. They are crucial part of children’s lives. Can you imagine the vibrant smile on a child’s face when the father (who has been working) walks through the door? They provide love and support to their families. Many teach their children about God and how to live. According to the scripture in Ephesians 6:4: "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
In many instances, fathers are pushed to the side, misunderstood, and put down. They are often called upon to do grunt work and clean up situations. What message does this send to fathers? Do we want them to feel like second class citizens? They are often hurt and do not feel validated when not allowed to spend quality time with their children. In many instances, they work two jobs to put their children through college. Many deny their personal needs so their families can live comfortably (and have pertinent necessities). Fathers are often stretched beyond their limits and gladly play their role.
It is unfair when they are denied the right to see their children. It is no surprise many fathers feel depressed and sadden. Many mothers used the children to manipulate the fathers for financial gain. This hurts the children instead of allowing quality time to take place. These situations leave fathers broken and in despair. This cruel punishment has to stop!

Father absence is the root cause of society’s problems today. The research is overwhelming and makes the point with clear and unequivocal evidence: children need good dads.

According to the 2020 U.S. Census 18.4 million children are living without a biological father. This means that out of the 73 million children in the U.S. 23% are without a present father. This number has doubled since 1968 and continues to increase. Literature associated with father absence indicates that growing up in a father absent household can be associated with negative wellbeing and life adversity among children. Father absence can have negative effects on a child’s life such as depression, drug and alcohol abuse, anxiety, psychological issues, a tendency for violence, and sexual and criminal activities. Absence is also felt by the mothers as they work through pregnancy, birth, and raising a child alone. One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters." – George Herbert.

Thank goodness for father initiative programs that encourage, uplift and inspire. The National Center for Fathering is a social enterprise using the power of fathers and father figures to build a better world. The research is clear: Children thrive when they have an involved father of father figure - someone who loves them, knows them and helps them navigate life. These programs equip fathers with support and give them resources to cope. These programs help fathers make healthy choices and benefit families.

I am grateful to have been blessed with three wonderful fathers, McKinley (Pie) Carter, my biological father. Jafus Jones Sr., my stepfather who came into our family at a pivotal time. Shelton Harris, my spiritual father who continues to provide wisdom and emotional support.

It is a joy to see my son, Drunell Barber ll doing his best with his children, Mylexia and Drunell lll. He provides support and is determined to raise them with wisdom, fear of God and to become assets of society.

The last verse in the Old Testament of the Bible that was written before Christ came to this earth is in Malachi 4:6 – “And we will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, Lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.” A clear statement of the impact a father plays in the role of his children and the stability of society.