This article outlines a process for gaining emotional mastery, really! I know this well because it has been the essence of my own path both personally and professionally. Learning to not resist contracting emotional states has been the most difficult AND most valuable thing I’ve learned on my path from whole-mess to wholeness.

Fill free to read it, use it, download it, copy it and send it along to everyone you know who would like to gain a little more emotional mastery.

Face it, Embrace it, Express it, Listen for the message

Our emotions are the source of our experience of the love, passion and aliveness! They cause us to feel all of these wonderful expanded feelings that we live for. Yet , they also cause us to feel hurt, sadness, fear and anger. Emotions in their most basic state are energy - energy intended to be in motion. I use the term E-motion as a tool to remember this concept. When you are feeling an E-motion, energy is moving through your body. Anytime you notice yourself feeling stuck or disconnected, you’ve stuffed an E-motion. Energy that is intended to be in motion has been stopped. In psychological terms, you’ve suppressed a feeling that needs to be felt.

E-motions are gifts that allow us to be fully alive and engaged with our lives. The healthy use of E-motions can give us valuable messages, keep us safe, help us connect to others and experience great joy. However, when we allow our ego to repress or suppress our emotional state, we separate from our essence and lose our connection to wholeness.

When we suppress our E-motions, they become lodged in the cells of our body causing tension and stress reactions. If the E-motion is not released and forced to remain trapped in our body, physical pain and illness result as well as emotional pain. The unconscious mind will continue to create self sabotaging circumstances that reinforce our emotional pain. It is as if the stuck energy has a gravitational pull that attracts people and circumstances into our lives for the purpose of the hurt being experienced and finally released.

So, why do people suppress their E-motions? Why be afraid to experience these contracted states?

1. The mistaken belief that the pain connected to the E-motion will be greater than is actually so.

2. Fear that the E-motion will overtake them and they may not be able to recover, remaining stuck in the discomfort.

3. Fear of being or appearing week, causing damage to their self image.

What’s to do?

No worries, help has arrived!

I created the Just FEEL It process for the healthy release of E-motions. Whatever we resist persists. Whatever we have the courage to fully face, feel and embrace heals and becomes grace. The healthy way to move the E-motions through your body is to allow yourself to be fully present with them, experience them, hear the messages they are sending you, and then releasing the energy. What remains is your Essence.

Step One- Face It

Notice what is actually happening with you, in your physical body right now.

When you are either feeling stuck or experiencing an uncomfortable emotion the first step is to Face the the E-motion with compassionate awareness. The best way to do this is to stop the internal dialogue about what is happening and why it’s happening and see if you can discover where you are most experiencing the sensation of this E-motion in your body. Then, bring awareness to that area without judging, analyzing, blaming or trying to fix the cause.

Here’s how? Ask yourself this the question: What is actually happening with me in this moment? You may or may not know what to name what you are feeling and this is okay. Bring your attention to the actual physical sensations of the E-motion in your body. For example, If you are feeling sad, notice the physical expression of this sadness. Notice where in the body this E-motion seems to be most present.

Step Two- Embrace It

Embrace this feeling as fully as you are able with compassionate attention.

Breathe into the E-motion and visualize your breath going to that area of your body. Imagine becoming the most loving and nurturing parent that you can imagine to this innocent E-motion. Continue to provide compassionate attention by sensing as much as you can about this feeling.

* If this E-motion had a shape, sense what it might be.

* If it had a size, sense what it might be.

* If it had a color, sense what it might be.

* If it had texture, sense what it might be.

* If it had another mood, sense what might it be.

* If I recall an earlier time that this feeling was around, about how old was I?

* imagine this younger version of you either in your heat or in front of you. Now, ask: What did you most need in this situation?

* Become aware of all of those that you know and don’t know who have this desire.

Step Three- Express It

*Sense for a moment, If what you’re feeling right now could make a sound, what might the sound be?

* Be honest, curious and playful.

* Now, make the sound that you have discovered, with no attention on getting it right, on your next three exhales; either out load or silently.

Step Four -Listen

* Take at least one full minute to witness and deeply listen to what you are most needing and wanting now. Do this by asking the following , silently or out loud:

” What is my body most needing/wanting right now…..” “What need or want was not met around around this upset?”

” What are some creative ways can I get these needs/wants met , if I choose to?”

Return to wholeness.

Take a moment to honor yourself for being a good steward of the energy that’s nature was to be in motion and simply required your attention . You Faced, Embraced, Expressed and Listened. Notice that you have returned to the expanded state of wholeness.

So, to summarize the process, here are the steps:

FACE it by noticing what is actually going on in your body.
EMBRACE it by holding the E-motion in your awareness with compassionate attention.
EXPRESS it with a sound
LISTEN for the unmet needs that were the source of the upset. See the energy associated with the upset as a basic form of pure energy, returning to wholeness
Whatever we resist persists. Yet whatever we have the courage to fully face, feel and embrace heals and becomes grace.

Author's Bio: 

Michael Casteel is an expert in emotional healing and transformation. His practice, SOULutions is also a transpersonal practice. This means that we incorporate the spiritual self that each one of us has and use these beliefs and experiences in the therapy. In short, we deal in matters of the heart, soul and Spirit. We work with our clients to find a complete state of wholeness which is the integration of the mind, body and soul.

"In my role as Transformational Life Coach, I think of myself as a sculptor of sorts. You may have heard the famous line by Michael Angelo when asked how he created the magnificent statue of David out of a simple block of stone, he responded: "He was in there waiting. All I did was the excavating. I just chipped away all that did not belong." So, with my clients, I play the role of being a soul sculptor; partnering with them to delicately chip away all that does not belong.We do this by softening the edges of old wounds and chipping away the self- limiting lies blocking them from realizing and revealing the magnificence of who they already are, in their Essence."

Michael has 30-plus years of experience studying and working with transformational psychology and emotional healing practices. His highly original and creative approach to emotional healing and life transformation blends modern psychology with the ancient wisdom of religious practices. He brings considerable passion to his work helping people release their emotional pain and end the feeling of being stuck and disconnected.

As the innovator of safe and unique transformational processes, Michael has guided many people to authentic spiritual experiences providing a new level of peace and awareness in their daily lives. He has extensively studied and personally experienced the healing effects of every part of his programs, practices and techniques used by SOULutions.

Michael holds degrees and certifications in many healing modalities including psychology, life coaching, theology, advanced hypnotherapy, rebirthing, energy medicine, breath therapy meditations, yoga, emotional release practices, Enneagram studies and Neuro-Linguistic Programming. As designer of seminars like the FIRE of Wholeness Breakthrough Experience, Embrace Your Shadow and The Breath of Life, Michael has presented to thousands of people all over the country, including the 2006 Alliance for a New Humanity with Deepak Chopra.

Michael is on a mission to contribute to the conscious healing and evolution of our planet, one heart and soul at a time. He does this by helping people heal the emotional wound and self limiting lies preventing them from experiencing their authentic self. Traditional therapy spends years negotiating with the ego or false self. In Michael's work he moves people beyond their ego to meet their true self, what he calls their Essence. Once clients make this spiritual connection, they can release and heal the emotional wounds that block them from living their fullest life. Michael is a native of Atlanta and currently resides in a townhome overlooking the Chattahoochee River with his partner in love and life, Leslie.