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Articles from nancy travers | Selfgrowth.com
- Why Do Men Cheat on Business Trips? - by Submitted on Jul 22, 2011 from nancy traversIt is not uncommon for a woman to worry about what her husband is doing while he is away from the home, especially when he is away for extended periods of time. Pop culture has no qualms about depicting a cheating husband to create a strong, independent heroine. The media coverage of recent ...
Views: 9198(1 vote) - Negative Body Image Affects Your Intimate Relationships - by Submitted on Oct 25, 2011 from nancy traversThe way we see and value you ourselves has a huge impact on our actions, our quality of life, our happiness, and even our relationships with others. Body images is a simple term that describes how an individual views their body and appearance—whether that is “average,” “attractive,” or “bad.” ...
Views: 7400(1 vote) - Co-dependency Do You Need to Be Needed? - by Submitted on Apr 29, 2015 from nancy traversMaybe you grew up in a dysfunctional home in a codependent relationship. In the bestselling book, The Glass Castle, Jeannette Walls tells of her hardscrabble childhood. Her father was an alcoholic, her mother abdicated her role as caregiver, and the children had to fend for themselves. Walls’ ...
Views: 6656 - Why Am I Always the One Who Initiates Sex? - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversIf you are the one—male or female—who is always the first to ask for sex, you may begin to think your partner doesn’t want it. But there can be all sorts of reasons why he or she is more reticent than you. They could be medical, psychological, relational or just that you’re off kilter. Your ...
Views: 5499 - Six Simple Steps to Rekindle Passion and Renew Sexual Energy - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2011 from nancy traversMany people feel that the first sign of a deteriorating relationship is a loss of passion and sexual energy. As a relationship matures, a couple may find that they do not have the same sexual energy as they did throughout their honeymoon phase of the relationship. However, dwindling passion does ...
Views: 5060(2 votes) - Relationships, Boundaries, and Facebook - by Submitted on Dec 30, 2011 from nancy traversSocial networks have injected an interesting new aspect into our lives and relationships. Today, we’re all living very publically. We’re our own paparazzi and gossip magazine, updating the web with every little thought, piece of drama, and embarrassing picture of friends. Our boundaries are very ...
Views: 3686 - Five ways to say :I Love You" When Words Aren't Enough - by Submitted on May 14, 2012 from nancy traversThese tips are designed to build and grow a marriage or relationship – when it’s failing and you can’t seem to control it, Orange County marriage counseling may be a healthy option for you. We all know that sometimes our significant others sometimes lack in the love expression department, and ...
Views: 3491 - Great Expectations: Unattainable Standards Harm Your Life and Your Relationships - by Submitted on Oct 25, 2011 from nancy traversEveryone has expectations. In fact, everyone hopes that they can achieve the best in their endeavors. However, some of us take our expectations too far. Having goals and standards is healthy; they keep us motivated to achieve and pursue our dreams. High standards motivate us to do our best. Some ...
Views: 2736(1 vote) - Borderline Personality Disorder: What Does It Mean? - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2013 from nancy traversWhat does it mean to have a borderline personality disorder (BPD)? Basically a person with this condition has unstable or turbulent emotions that can sometimes make them act on impulse and encounter trouble in their relationships. So what else is new? Don’t we all have a certain amount of ...
Views: 2616(1 vote) - Listen Up (2013) - by Submitted on Jan 17, 2013 from nancy traversEver heard the expression “Listen up?” Sometimes coaches say it when their team is in a huddle. They want everyone to pay particular attention to their message. Listen up. Lift your chin up; direct your gaze up into my eyes. Listen carefully and hear what I’m saying. Listen up. How often do ...
Views: 2267 - Can You Be Happy in a Sexless Relationship? - by Submitted on Sep 15, 2014 from nancy traversIf you have a happy, stable, fun, loving marriage, you should count your blessings, right? Right. But what if that marriage is happy, stable, fun and loving without sex? Would you still count your blessings? In other words, can couples be happy without sex? The answer is, it depends. ...
Views: 2141 - Listen Up (2013), Part 2 - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2013 from nancy traversCouples who learn to actively, mindfully listen to one another have a better chance of having a deep, intimate relationship. It makes sense: When you listen well enough to understand your partner’s point of view, you understand him or her better, and the bond between you strengthens. So how ...
Views: 2121(2 votes) - Five Ways to Get Rid of Your Victim Mentality - by Submitted on Aug 08, 2013 from nancy traversDo you continually believe you are a victim of someone else’s actions? Do you choose to feel oppressed? Is bad luck or lack of fairness the source of your problems? If so, you may have a victim mentality. If you do, you probably find temporary solace in your self-pity. Friends and family may ...
Views: 2119 - When Is Make-Up Sex a Good Thing? - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2012 from nancy traversIf you’re relying on make-up sex too often, your relationship may need help Make-up sex is famous for being unbridled and highly pleasurable. And that can be memorable, especially if the overall sex life of a couple has been routine, humdrum, or just plain bad most of the time. In a good ...
Views: 1925 - *The translation is “Praise to the jewel in the lotus,” although there are many interpretations of the religious meaning of these words. - by Submitted on Nov 25, 2013 from nancy traversMany people who suffer from depression take anti-depressant drugs and feel better. But drugs may be expensive, cause side effects and when it’s time to come off the drugs, depressed people are vulnerable to a relapse. Mindfulness-based meditation, often coupled with cognitive therapy (MBCT), may ...
Views: 1842 - Stress Test: 5 Ways to Make It Through the Holidays - by Submitted on Dec 11, 2012 from nancy traversMany people I know don’t find joy in the holidays. Too much stress and work. The chores of cooking, shopping and cleaning are often multiplied during the holidays, leaving you feeling put-upon and resentful. One year a friend had a tree trimming dinner party, and she wouldn’t give her guests ...
Views: 1816 - What to Do When Your Friend Is Suicidal - by Submitted on Sep 15, 2014 from nancy traversThe last couple weeks we’ve been talking about the important topic of suicide. In the United States, it’s the 10th leading cause of death. The strongest risk factor is depression. Chances are that you have had or will have a friend who is at risk. You may be reluctant to talk to him about his ...
Views: 1803 - When Sleep Eludes You - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversLast week we talked about housekeeping tips to get you to sweet slumber every night. If you followed them, you’ve made your room dark and quiet, you’ve checked your mattress, you’ve banned the TV from your bedroom, watched your intake of caffeine and alcohol, regulated your routine—everything. ...
Views: 1777 - Marriage’s Underwater Mines: ADD - by Submitted on Sep 05, 2012 from nancy traversIn some marriages, a dark cloud hangs over the home, going by many different names: bills unpaid, appointments missed, chores ignored or unfinished, kids not picked up, calls not made—maybe poor job performance to boot. Many of these things happen as a normal occurrence from time to time, and ...
Views: 1688 - Marriage’s Underwater Mines—Porn Addiction - by Submitted on Sep 08, 2012 from nancy traversA follow-up on my recent article on sex addiction. Pornography is not erotic literature, which can have social and artistic value. Serious moral issues pervade the porn industry, such as the exploitation of vulnerable women and the enticement of young people—mostly men, but an increasing ...
Views: 1633(1 vote) - What’s Sabotaging Your Good Intentions? - by Submitted on Jan 17, 2014 from nancy traversIt’s the New Year, and time to make a new start with all your good intentions to have a productive, fulfilling, happy year. But sometimes it’s a struggle. We get sidetracked, bogged down. Before we know it, our good intentions have vanished into thin air. What hinders us? Negative motivation. ...
Views: 1600 - How to Work Through a Break Up - by Submitted on Feb 24, 2012 from nancy traversBreaking up is a difficult time in anyone’s life, especially if you’re the one being left behind. This is a time where you may feel shaken. You’re losing your routine, your security, and maybe even the person you felt was closest to you. It is easy to feel lost and confused about who you are and ...
Views: 1598 - How to Overcome a Co-dependent Relationship - by Submitted on May 08, 2015 from nancy traversSince co-dependent relationships are not healthy for you, why is it so hard to extricate yourself? Why is it so difficult to get out of a situation that is harmful to you? Well, we all hate change, even if that change may be for the better. And if you’ve been in a co-dependent relationship your ...
Views: 1575 - Is Your Fantasy Lover Turning Your Lovemaking Into a Threesome? - by Submitted on Aug 20, 2012 from nancy traversThe occasional fantasy can mean a healthy sex drive, but what if it’s a habit? Let’s start with two cases. In the first, a couple is making love, and one experiences a spontaneous erotic thought about someone very attractive, who was observed and fantasized about earlier in the day—at work or ...
Views: 1575(1 vote) - 3 Ways to Put the Spark Back in Your Sex Life - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversSex is a basic human need, but as your partner and you grow, you may evolve at different rates. The desire for sex becomes unbalanced in your relationship—one partner wants it more than the other. And over time, sex may become predictable and the excitement fades. If you don’t have the sex ...
Views: 1537 - Is There a Passive-Agressive Person in Your Life? - by Submitted on Aug 14, 2014 from nancy traversAt best, their behavior is dishonest. At worst, it’s abusive. But you may not have even noticed it. That’s because a passive-aggressive person can be so subtle you may not realize their supposed joke was really a hostile remark. Or their procrastination at getting something you need done is ...
Views: 1530 - Coping Strategies After a Loved One's Suicide - by Submitted on Sep 15, 2014 from nancy traversIf you have experienced the loss of a loved one by suicide, you have a challenging journey ahead of you. Not only do you suffer heart wrenching grief from your loss, but also from the fact that she chose to take her own life. You may wonder if you could have done something to prevent it. You may ...
Views: 1527 - Meditation Transformation - by Submitted on Mar 12, 2015 from nancy traversMeditation Transformation – What’s Stopping You? If you could change your brain for the better, would you? If you could increase your working memory and enhance your decision-making ability by meditating, would you give it a try? What if you could also: Slow down the natural decline of your ...
Views: 1516 - A Guide to Mindfulness Meditation - by Submitted on Nov 12, 2013 from nancy traversThe promise of mindfulness meditation is that it can help you become more aware of who you are without the sting of judgment. Unlike some other forms of meditation, mindfulness meditation is not directed toward getting you to think differently. Its goal is to help you become aware of what is ...
Views: 1513(2 votes) - The Anxiety–Overeating–Depression Cycle - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2012 from nancy traversYou’re anxious, you stress-eat, depression sets in. How do you break the cycle? Eating is one of the toughest addictions. We all have to eat, so it’s not possible to avoid being around food. But some of us have a hard time controlling our input, and we give our bodies what they seem to want, ...
Views: 1510 - When a Loved One Commits Suicide - by Submitted on Sep 15, 2014 from nancy traversRobin Williams’ recent death left many of us, who didn’t even know him, feeling bereft. How could he, who was loved by millions, take his own life? How could his life have been so unbearable that he had to end it? And how do we cope with the aftermath? About 40,000 people in the U.S. commit ...
Views: 1508 - Ending a Relationship After Infidelity - by Submitted on Sep 26, 2011 from nancy traversInfidelity is an unfortunate occurrence that strikes too many modern relationships. Cheating in any relationship can be devastating for both partners; both the person committing the infidelity and the person betrayed can be strongly affected by the after-effects of breaking the relationship’s ...
Views: 1485 - 12 ‘Don’ts’ for Fighting Fair - by Submitted on Aug 31, 2015 from nancy traversConflict is tough for most people. We don’t like it. It threatens us and makes us feel bad. Makes us feel defensive. But we can feel a whole lot better about fighting if we have rules to guide us. When the same rules apply to both you and your partner, you have something you both can depend ...
Views: 1475 - 3 Sure-Fire Relationship Killers - by Submitted on Dec 12, 2013 from nancy traversWhen couples get married they never think they will be among those who get divorced. Yet a hefty percentage of marriages do end in divorce, so some of these people who can’t imagine divorce on their wedding day will certainly face that prospect eventually. Psychologists have identified behaviors ...
Views: 1461 - 5 Habits Happy Couples Have - by Submitted on Dec 09, 2013 from nancy traversIt’s important to develop healthy habits of all kinds, and that includes habits that have an impact on your relationship with your spouse. At first, you may have to make an effort to practice positive habits, but after awhile they become part of your routine. It takes about 21 days to establish ...
Views: 1449(1 vote) - Are You a Victim of an Emotional Manipulator? - by Submitted on Aug 22, 2013 from nancy traversAre you afraid of conflict with your significant other or friend? Do you make bad decisions to accommodate him? Do you tell little white lies to avoid problems? Do you blame yourself for his dissatisfaction? Do you rush to pamper him when he becomes irritated? Do you sacrifice and give, give, ...
Views: 1446 - Concentrating on One Thing at a Time - by Submitted on Nov 12, 2013 from nancy traversMulti-tasking is common in our fast moving world. We text while we’re eating dinner and having a conversation with our spouse. We check our e-mails while we file our nails and talk on the phone. The trouble is, we are probably not being as productive as we’d wish. We are probably sacrificing the ...
Views: 1443(2 votes) - Conflicts with Your Significant Other: How to Fight Fair - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2011 from nancy traversEven the healthiest relationships will experience rough patches. No two people will always agree, and eventually these disagreements will need to be handled. Conflicts and arguments are not the signs of a bad marriage or partnership. However, how you and your partner handle an argument can be ...
Views: 1429 - How to Quit Enabling - by Submitted on Jun 27, 2014 from nancy traversLast week I talked about how easy it is to be caught up in a destructive cycle of enabling someone you love. You may have begun by trying to help. You covered up or filled in for someone who let his responsibilities slide due to dysfunctional behavior—often addition. Over time you got stuck in a ...
Views: 1421 - The Silent Treatment in Relationships - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2012 from nancy traversDo one or both of you retreat too often into the cone of silence? In an article earlier this year, I spoke about the devastating effects of verbal abuse. A retreat into a “cone of silence” by one or both partners in a marriage or relationship can potentially be just as devastating. Sure, some ...
Views: 1387 - Lonely? You’re Not Alone. - by Submitted on Jul 22, 2014 from nancy traversLoneliness is a tricky thing to combat. Loneliness seems to beget loneliness. When you feel isolated you crawl into your shell and become more so. You feel separated from other human beings. You may have physical symptoms too, like an ache or a heaviness in your chest. It’s not a good ...
Views: 1384 - How to Deal with Passive-Aggressive People - by Submitted on Aug 14, 2014 from nancy traversThe trouble with passive-aggression is that both the giver and the receiver often have no idea what’s really going on. In other words, the person who’s passive-aggressive (P-A) may know he hates conflict, may know he’s feeling a little angry and may know he’s covering it up. But he doesn’t ...
Views: 1354 - Talking Back to Your Critical Inner Voice - by Submitted on Dec 11, 2012 from nancy traversHave you ever told yourself your body’s too fat, your hair’s too thin, that you’re a terrible mother, that you’re not disciplined enough, smart enough, kind enough? Do you have an inner voice that’s unjustifiably critical? Critical inner voices can be detrimental to you in a number of ways ...
Views: 1346 - Is Your Smart Phone Stressing You Out? - by Submitted on Dec 05, 2011 from nancy traversDo you feel like you can’t escape the stress from work, or from your social obligations? Do they sneak up on you, even as you’re trying to have a few relaxing moments to yourself after a long day, or during a weekend that you’ve purposely left open for some well-deserved “me-time”? It might be ...
Views: 1312(1 vote) - Five Questions to Ask Yourself in Tough Times - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversWe all go through tough times, some more than others. But everybody handles hard times differently. It’s not whether you get hurricanes and tornadoes in life, it’s how you weather the storms that make a difference in your well-being. 1) Are you really worse off? A friend’s mother recently ...
Views: 1310 - How Do You Know When You’re Being Emotionally Manipulated? - by Submitted on Sep 03, 2013 from nancy traversMost people are empathetic, unless they have a personality disorder, and they understand that emotions are sacred. To be taken seriously. Most people agree that it’s morally unethical to toy with someone else’s emotions. But some people—notably narcissists and psychopaths—find emotional ...
Views: 1274 - Holiday Stress-Busters - by Submitted on Jan 01, 2014 from nancy traversIf you are one of those people for whom the holidays bring a certain amount of dread, take heart. You are not alone. Even those who seem blissfully cheery are susceptible to moments of loneliness or despair, often exacerbated by stress. Here are a few suggestions to mitigate that stress: Take ...
Views: 1267 - How Can Counseling Help Gays and Lesbians? - by Submitted on Sep 08, 2012 from nancy traversAddressing the needs of the gay and lesbian communities starts with a healthy perspective In certain sectors of our society, being gay or lesbian is seen as unnatural, a disorder, or an aberration—to be diagnosed, accepted as wrong, and cured. Unfortunately, even a small minority of mental ...
Views: 1258 - Five Ways to Protect Yourself from Emotional Manipulators - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2013 from nancy traversFor the last few weeks I’ve been talking about emotional manipulators and the tactics they use to control you. The devastation these emotional predators can cause in your life is insidious and serious. These people can wear you down until you are a depressed, defeated shadow of the person you ...
Views: 1255(2 votes) - Make a Plan to Combat Loneliness - by Submitted on Jul 22, 2014 from nancy traversFeeling lonely is painful. Often people who feel lonely exacerbate the situation by blaming themselves. Why am I lonely? Because other people don’t like me. Why don’t they like me? Because I’m a loser. It’s not hard to imagine how this internal conversation can go downhill very quickly and make ...
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