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Articles from nancy travers | Selfgrowth.com
- A Guide to Mindfulness Meditation - by Submitted on Nov 12, 2013 from nancy traversThe promise of mindfulness meditation is that it can help you become more aware of who you are without the sting of judgment. Unlike some other forms of meditation, mindfulness meditation is not directed toward getting you to think differently. Its goal is to help you become aware of what is ...
Views: 1513(2 votes) - Alcoholism and Alcohol Abuse - by Submitted on Feb 07, 2013 from nancy traversDid you grow up in a household where cocktail hour was a nightly affair? Do you cope with stress by having a glass of wine? Or two? Do your friends drink heavily? The causes of alcoholism and alcohol abuse are not precisely known, but they usually result from a combination of factors like ...
Views: 972(1 vote) - Are You Close to Someone with Narcissist Personality Disorder? - by Submitted on Mar 27, 2013 from nancy traversWhen you are a close relative, partner or friend of a person who suffers from Narcissist Personality Disorder (NPD), you suffer too. People with NPD have an escalated sense of their superiority and importance in the world and a constant need for attention and admiration. They often have little ...
Views: 1219(1 vote) - Borderline Personality Disorder: What Does It Mean? - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2013 from nancy traversWhat does it mean to have a borderline personality disorder (BPD)? Basically a person with this condition has unstable or turbulent emotions that can sometimes make them act on impulse and encounter trouble in their relationships. So what else is new? Don’t we all have a certain amount of ...
Views: 2616(1 vote) - Concentrating on One Thing at a Time - by Submitted on Nov 12, 2013 from nancy traversMulti-tasking is common in our fast moving world. We text while we’re eating dinner and having a conversation with our spouse. We check our e-mails while we file our nails and talk on the phone. The trouble is, we are probably not being as productive as we’d wish. We are probably sacrificing the ...
Views: 1443(2 votes) - Disagree without Being Disagreeable - by Submitted on Apr 03, 2013 from nancy traversA friend’s husband told her early in their relationship that there was no need to fight. He said, “Everyone tells you to learn to fight fair. But I say, we don’t fight at all.” Always a coward in the face of conflict, she thought that was great. And they don’t fight, meaning they don’t throw ...
Views: 1045(1 vote) - Do You Love an Alcoholic? - by Submitted on Feb 21, 2013 from nancy traversAlcohol abuse and alcoholism are so pervasive that about a third of Americans have someone close to them who has the problem. This means legions of people have relationships that are stressful at best, and damaging at worst. If your spouse is an alcoholic then alcoholism is bound to affect you ...
Views: 1213(1 vote) - Great Expectations: Unattainable Standards Harm Your Life and Your Relationships - by Submitted on Oct 25, 2011 from nancy traversEveryone has expectations. In fact, everyone hopes that they can achieve the best in their endeavors. However, some of us take our expectations too far. Having goals and standards is healthy; they keep us motivated to achieve and pursue our dreams. High standards motivate us to do our best. Some ...
Views: 2736(1 vote) - Is Your Friend Manipulating You? - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversYou’re feeling vague resentment, but you’re not sure why. Your friend seems to ask more of you, expect more of you, than you’re willing to give. You’re feeling guilty for not capitulating to your friend’s request. You find yourself wondering why you’re doing something when you really don’t want ...
Views: 1134(1 vote) - Is Your Smart Phone Stressing You Out? - by Submitted on Dec 05, 2011 from nancy traversDo you feel like you can’t escape the stress from work, or from your social obligations? Do they sneak up on you, even as you’re trying to have a few relaxing moments to yourself after a long day, or during a weekend that you’ve purposely left open for some well-deserved “me-time”? It might be ...
Views: 1312(1 vote) - Negative Body Image Affects Your Intimate Relationships - by Submitted on Oct 25, 2011 from nancy traversThe way we see and value you ourselves has a huge impact on our actions, our quality of life, our happiness, and even our relationships with others. Body images is a simple term that describes how an individual views their body and appearance—whether that is “average,” “attractive,” or “bad.” ...
Views: 7400(1 vote) - The Quest For Perfection: Is The Grass Really Greener or Merely Shades of Grey? - by Submitted on Nov 30, 2012 from nancy traversToday’s society offers no shortage of sexual and erotic material that is easily accessible to interested consumers. More than ever, we are inundated with images, written words, and discussions of what sex is and what sex could be. Sexual fantasies exist in the minds of all of us, but finding ...
Views: 1111(1 vote) - When Narcissistic Behavior Becomes Narcissistic Personality Disorder - by Submitted on Mar 09, 2013 from nancy traversIn Greek mythology, Narcissus was renowned for his beauty and was so proud that he scorned those who loved him. Instead, he fell in love with his own reflection in a pool of water, and could not leave the image of himself. Finally, he died, unable to tear himself away. His fixation with himself ...
Views: 806(1 vote) - Listen Up (2013), Part 2 - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2013 from nancy traversCouples who learn to actively, mindfully listen to one another have a better chance of having a deep, intimate relationship. It makes sense: When you listen well enough to understand your partner’s point of view, you understand him or her better, and the bond between you strengthens. So how ...
Views: 2121(2 votes) - 3 Steps to Surviving a Verbally Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on Jul 09, 2013 from nancy traversAre you living in a situation that is unreal to you? Did you think you would have a good life with your partner, but instead, you suffer emotional pain? Does your relationship, which looked so attractive at first, turn out to make you miserable? Even while other people might look on your ...
Views: 1100(1 vote) - Good Manners in the Digital Age - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversThe world has changed so fast that it’s hard to know how to behave these days. Old rules don’t apply and new ones haven’t been created yet. Suffice it to say consideration for the other guy is the key to good manners, and we don’t need Emily Post to tell us that. But when it comes to social ...
Views: 1167(1 vote) - Keep Those Resolutions with Your Partner - by Submitted on Jan 09, 2013 from nancy traversWhen you make New Year’s resolutions, do you feel defeated before you start? Many people don’t even bother to articulate resolutions since so many often fail. But if you make resolutions with your partner, you can support each other, and your chances of success improve significantly. The ...
Views: 652(1 vote) - New Year’s Resolution 2013: Strengthen Your Relationship - by Submitted on Jan 01, 2013 from nancy traversIt’s easy to guess the number one New Year’s resolution of 2012—Lose Weight. Others in the top ten included Enjoy Life to the Fullest, Spend More Time with Family, Help Others in Their Dreams, and Fall in Love. What do these resolutions have in common? All have to do with relationships, often ...
Views: 679(1 vote) - 5 Habits Happy Couples Have - by Submitted on Dec 09, 2013 from nancy traversIt’s important to develop healthy habits of all kinds, and that includes habits that have an impact on your relationship with your spouse. At first, you may have to make an effort to practice positive habits, but after awhile they become part of your routine. It takes about 21 days to establish ...
Views: 1449(1 vote) - Five Keys to a Happy Marriage - by Submitted on May 20, 2012 from nancy traversThese tips are designed to make life and marriage a little easier, but by no means will they solve all of your issues in one swing. If you need to talk to someone, please consult an Orange County professional today. Many people that get married first marry for passion and the “in-love” ...
Views: 909(1 vote) - Five Ways to Protect Yourself from Emotional Manipulators - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2013 from nancy traversFor the last few weeks I’ve been talking about emotional manipulators and the tactics they use to control you. The devastation these emotional predators can cause in your life is insidious and serious. These people can wear you down until you are a depressed, defeated shadow of the person you ...
Views: 1255(2 votes) - Great Habits that Build Happy Relationships - by Submitted on Dec 09, 2013 from nancy traversThe habits you develop can have a powerful impact on your relationship with your partner. But all habits take a bit of work to incorporate into your life. Luckily you have great motivation: A happy relationship. Visualize yourself and your partner living together harmoniously. Take baby steps to ...
Views: 1144(1 vote) - Handle Change and the Stress Associated with It - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2011 from nancy traversSometimes it feels like everything is changing! Today, many of us feel like we are being met with both major and minor life changes at an increasing frequency. Of course, the fact that people deal with these adjustments on a regular basis doesn’t always mean that they are prepared to handle ...
Views: 831(1 vote) - He Said, She Said: Apologies - by Submitted on Jul 09, 2013 from nancy traversWhy is it so hard for some men to utter those healing words, “I’m sorry”? And why is it so important to a woman to hear them? It seems men and women look at apologies from different perspectives. Some women, when they apologize, feel really good that they’ve made a positive effort to mend the ...
Views: 1109(1 vote) - Is Your Fantasy Lover Turning Your Lovemaking Into a Threesome? - by Submitted on Aug 20, 2012 from nancy traversThe occasional fantasy can mean a healthy sex drive, but what if it’s a habit? Let’s start with two cases. In the first, a couple is making love, and one experiences a spontaneous erotic thought about someone very attractive, who was observed and fantasized about earlier in the day—at work or ...
Views: 1575(1 vote) - Six Simple Steps to Rekindle Passion and Renew Sexual Energy - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2011 from nancy traversMany people feel that the first sign of a deteriorating relationship is a loss of passion and sexual energy. As a relationship matures, a couple may find that they do not have the same sexual energy as they did throughout their honeymoon phase of the relationship. However, dwindling passion does ...
Views: 5060(2 votes) - Tactics Emotional Manipulators Use to Hurt You - by Submitted on Sep 03, 2013 from nancy traversLast week I talked about how Emotional Manipulators (EM’s) make you doubt yourself, make you feel confused, and even a little crazy yourself. The result is you depend a little more on the EM and that is the whole point. Emotional Manipulators use all sorts of tactics to control you. To dominate ...
Views: 1137(2 votes) - What to Tell Our Children When Our Hearts Break - by Submitted on Jan 01, 2013 from nancy traversWhen a terrible tragedy strikes, as it did recently in a Connecticut kindergarten classroom, our hearts break. We don’t know how to mend. If we are directly affected by the tragedy, then professional counseling is imperative. But we also need to pay attention to our feelings, however tenuous our ...
Views: 884(2 votes) - Happy Couples Communicate - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2013 from nancy traversYou’d think it would go without saying that happy couples like each other. You have to like someone before you can love them. And happy couples love each other. They share a good laugh frequently and often. They pay attention to one another. They communicate. It doesn’t always have to be ...
Views: 1077(1 vote) - How Loving Couples Behave - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from nancy traversNorman and Norma Burmah, at 102 and 99, have the longest marriage—82 years—on record in the United States. Imagine if they were unhappily married. What a long and dismal sentence that would be. While I don’t know how happily married they are, I do know what they and others do when they are in a ...
Views: 797(1 vote) - So Your Spouse Is Cheating on You - by Submitted on Nov 04, 2013 from nancy traversYou’ve seen all the signs. All the sudden he’s working out when you could barely get him to walk to the end of the driveway to pick up the newspaper. He seems emotionally and sexually withdrawn when he used to want sex all the time. He’s constantly on his computer or cell phone and he’s guarding ...
Views: 1107(1 vote) - Contempt: A Sign Your Marriage Is in Trouble - by Submitted on Mar 27, 2013 from nancy traversThere are as many reasons for troubled marriages as there are people in them. Surely infidelity is a big one. One partner’s selfishness is another. Disrespect for your partner’s opinions and feelings will certainly damage a relationship, as will a lack of emotional intimacy, communication and ...
Views: 1041(2 votes) - Marriage’s Underwater Mines—Porn Addiction - by Submitted on Sep 08, 2012 from nancy traversA follow-up on my recent article on sex addiction. Pornography is not erotic literature, which can have social and artistic value. Serious moral issues pervade the porn industry, such as the exploitation of vulnerable women and the enticement of young people—mostly men, but an increasing ...
Views: 1633(1 vote) - Why Do Men Cheat on Business Trips? - by Submitted on Jul 22, 2011 from nancy traversIt is not uncommon for a woman to worry about what her husband is doing while he is away from the home, especially when he is away for extended periods of time. Pop culture has no qualms about depicting a cheating husband to create a strong, independent heroine. The media coverage of recent ...
Views: 9198(1 vote) - *The translation is “Praise to the jewel in the lotus,” although there are many interpretations of the religious meaning of these words. - by Submitted on Nov 25, 2013 from nancy traversMany people who suffer from depression take anti-depressant drugs and feel better. But drugs may be expensive, cause side effects and when it’s time to come off the drugs, depressed people are vulnerable to a relapse. Mindfulness-based meditation, often coupled with cognitive therapy (MBCT), may ...
Views: 1842 - 12 ‘Don’ts’ for Fighting Fair - by Submitted on Aug 31, 2015 from nancy traversConflict is tough for most people. We don’t like it. It threatens us and makes us feel bad. Makes us feel defensive. But we can feel a whole lot better about fighting if we have rules to guide us. When the same rules apply to both you and your partner, you have something you both can depend ...
Views: 1475 - 3 Sure-Fire Relationship Killers - by Submitted on Dec 12, 2013 from nancy traversWhen couples get married they never think they will be among those who get divorced. Yet a hefty percentage of marriages do end in divorce, so some of these people who can’t imagine divorce on their wedding day will certainly face that prospect eventually. Psychologists have identified behaviors ...
Views: 1461 - 3 Ways to Put the Spark Back in Your Sex Life - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversSex is a basic human need, but as your partner and you grow, you may evolve at different rates. The desire for sex becomes unbalanced in your relationship—one partner wants it more than the other. And over time, sex may become predictable and the excitement fades. If you don’t have the sex ...
Views: 1537 - 5 Reasons You’re Not Having Sex - by Submitted on Jun 16, 2013 from nancy traversThere are all sorts of reasons couples’ sex lives have stalled. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of identifying where you got off track so you can make adjustments to resume a satisfying sex life. But in the end, there is really one main reason couples don’t have sex: It’s not enjoyable. The ...
Views: 996 - Alcoholism - by Submitted on Feb 13, 2013 from nancy traversThe most severe form of problem drinking is alcoholism. This goes beyond alcohol abuse—alcoholics physically depend on alcohol to function. Without it, your body responds with withdrawal symptoms like the shakes, depression, nausea, irritability, sweating, anxiety. These are serious danger signs ...
Views: 1010 - All the Wrong Ones: Re-Evaluate How You Choose a Partner - by Submitted on Dec 30, 2011 from nancy traversWhen you think about finding a partner, you probably have the perfect prospect in mind. When imagining the perfect mate, most people immediately think of physical characteristics. Many people supplement this idea immediately be adding personality traits such as humor, intelligence and charm. If ...
Views: 1049 - Anxious About Anxiety - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversIf you have never suffered from excessive anxiety, then it may be difficult to empathize with someone who has. Anxious people may seem to be worried about nothing of substance, so it’s tempting to disregard the problem. But the fact is, anxiety—including post-traumatic stress disorder, ...
Views: 1219 - Are You a Victim of an Emotional Manipulator? - by Submitted on Aug 22, 2013 from nancy traversAre you afraid of conflict with your significant other or friend? Do you make bad decisions to accommodate him? Do you tell little white lies to avoid problems? Do you blame yourself for his dissatisfaction? Do you rush to pamper him when he becomes irritated? Do you sacrifice and give, give, ...
Views: 1446 - Are You Guilty of Stinkin’ Thinkin’? - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2013 from nancy traversThe other day a friend tripped over her own feet, and I overheard her say to herself, “You are such a klutz.” A harmless putdown, perhaps, but with enough negative talking to yourself, you could create an unhealthy environment that works against you. This is an example of stinkin’ ...
Views: 1074 - Are You in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship? - by Submitted on Jun 16, 2013 from nancy traversSticks and stones may break my bones, But names can never hurt me. This childhood ditty may be one reason some people are slow to understand that verbal or emotional abuse is as detrimental as it truly is. After all, words are not as bad as physical blows, are they? But consider this: ...
Views: 1128 - Are You Stuck in Mourning That Began in Childhood? - by Submitted on Aug 15, 2012 from nancy traversThe difference between natural mourning and melancholia could be life-long Call it what you like—chronic mourning, extended grieving, death-related depression, melancholia—the effects are the same. A person becomes stuck in the past, devastated by the death of a parent, child, spouse, or ...
Views: 876 - Bad Habits That Undermine Your Success - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversLast week I talked about how you can unwittingly sabotage your own good intentions by negative motivation, blaming others and by getting discouraged too easily. Without even knowing it, you can contribute to your own struggles and thwart your goals. Here are a few more things to watch out ...
Views: 1193 - Behavior Patterns Happy Couples Share - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2013 from nancy traversI’ve been talking the last couple of weeks about happy couples. Although everyone’s different, there are certain patterns that recur among those who have solid, happy relationships. They’re friends, they laugh together, they pay attention to one another, and they communicate well. What ...
Views: 996 - Can You Be Happy in a Sexless Relationship? - by Submitted on Sep 15, 2014 from nancy traversIf you have a happy, stable, fun, loving marriage, you should count your blessings, right? Right. But what if that marriage is happy, stable, fun and loving without sex? Would you still count your blessings? In other words, can couples be happy without sex? The answer is, it depends. ...
Views: 2141 - Co-dependency Do You Need to Be Needed? - by Submitted on Apr 29, 2015 from nancy traversMaybe you grew up in a dysfunctional home in a codependent relationship. In the bestselling book, The Glass Castle, Jeannette Walls tells of her hardscrabble childhood. Her father was an alcoholic, her mother abdicated her role as caregiver, and the children had to fend for themselves. Walls’ ...
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