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Articles from nancy travers | Selfgrowth.com
- Conflicts with Your Significant Other: How to Fight Fair - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2011 from nancy traversEven the healthiest relationships will experience rough patches. No two people will always agree, and eventually these disagreements will need to be handled. Conflicts and arguments are not the signs of a bad marriage or partnership. However, how you and your partner handle an argument can be ...
Views: 1429 - Coping Strategies After a Loved One's Suicide - by Submitted on Sep 15, 2014 from nancy traversIf you have experienced the loss of a loved one by suicide, you have a challenging journey ahead of you. Not only do you suffer heart wrenching grief from your loss, but also from the fact that she chose to take her own life. You may wonder if you could have done something to prevent it. You may ...
Views: 1527 - Dating for Guys - by Submitted on May 29, 2014 from nancy traversLast week I wrote about dating from a women’s perspective. But what about men? It takes two to tango, and men find dating these days just as daunting as women do. Maybe more. Here are some tips: Be Self-Aware ‘Know thyself’ is always good advice, and especially when dating. If you are a ...
Views: 1167 - Dating in the Digital Age - by Submitted on May 23, 2014 from nancy traversI have a friend who protested she didn’t like the “small talk” required in early dating, and wanted to go straight to a relationship. You can go online, research your prospective date and learn everything you need to know about him, right? Wrong. This is one process that you can’t cut short. ...
Views: 1217 - Do You Give TMI on First Dates? - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2012 from nancy traversToo much information can put you at risk—or make a bad impression Are you providing detailed, personal, even intimate information on every topic that comes up on your first dates with a new person? If so, you might be sending the wrong signals. Some people will feel uncomfortable hearing ...
Views: 1011 - Ending a Relationship After Infidelity - by Submitted on Sep 26, 2011 from nancy traversInfidelity is an unfortunate occurrence that strikes too many modern relationships. Cheating in any relationship can be devastating for both partners; both the person committing the infidelity and the person betrayed can be strongly affected by the after-effects of breaking the relationship’s ...
Views: 1485 - Experiencing Anxiety and Don’t Know Why? Check the Calendar. - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2012 from nancy traversAnnually recurring anxiety: you may have it and not know it. Anxiety disorders can be times of extended difficulty for those who suffer from them. Tension, worry, inability to concentrate, mono-focus on a particular thought or person, avoidance of a particular situation or person, irritable ...
Views: 912 - Five Questions to Ask Yourself in Tough Times - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversWe all go through tough times, some more than others. But everybody handles hard times differently. It’s not whether you get hurricanes and tornadoes in life, it’s how you weather the storms that make a difference in your well-being. 1) Are you really worse off? A friend’s mother recently ...
Views: 1310 - Five Things to Avoid on a Date - by Submitted on May 14, 2012 from nancy traversHere are some things you should avoid when you go a on a first date, or even a second or a third – but these tips are designed with light heartedness in mind. If you need help managing your dating life,relationship counseling in Orange County may be able to help you today. So you may think ...
Views: 502 - Five Thoughts to Stop Thinking and Start Being Happier - by Submitted on Jan 01, 2014 from nancy traversPeople are unhappy for all sorts of reasons, some of them easier to remedy than others. You may not even realize you’re unhappy, yet if you think about it, you are not living up to your happiness capacity. If you are in a rut of negative thinking that makes you unhappy, stop to think about what ...
Views: 1167 - Five Ways to Get Rid of Your Victim Mentality - by Submitted on Aug 08, 2013 from nancy traversDo you continually believe you are a victim of someone else’s actions? Do you choose to feel oppressed? Is bad luck or lack of fairness the source of your problems? If so, you may have a victim mentality. If you do, you probably find temporary solace in your self-pity. Friends and family may ...
Views: 2119 - Five ways to say :I Love You" When Words Aren't Enough - by Submitted on May 14, 2012 from nancy traversThese tips are designed to build and grow a marriage or relationship – when it’s failing and you can’t seem to control it, Orange County marriage counseling may be a healthy option for you. We all know that sometimes our significant others sometimes lack in the love expression department, and ...
Views: 3491 - Five Ways to Think Yourself Happier - by Submitted on Jan 17, 2014 from nancy traversAre you are living in a lackluster state? What can you do to shake the dust off and let the sunshine in? Sometimes all you need to do to attain happiness is look at life a little differently and re-adjust the way you think. Here are some suggestions for thinking the way happy people think: 1) ...
Views: 1158 - Four Reasons to Quiet Your Monkey Mind - by Submitted on Jul 03, 2014 from nancy traversWith summer here, it’s time to relax. To let yourself daydream. To take time off from your usual frantic schedule. To free yourself from the rigors of daily life and quiet your mind. Lack of structure used to be a feature of summer vacation, but we seem to be increasingly programmed. Maybe it’s ...
Views: 1232 - From Apology to Forgiveness: Healing and Reconnecting - by Submitted on Jul 12, 2013 from nancy traversEvery relationship suffers from moments of disappointment. He brushes you off when you’re opening your heart to him. She is always late and makes you wait for her. And these are just the small things—not nearly as painful as infidelity, for example. But the small things add up and pretty soon ...
Views: 1119 - From Love to Despair: Are You an Enabler? - by Submitted on Jun 19, 2014 from nancy traversAt first you just want to help the one you love. He had a little bit too much to drink and you called in sick for him. She gambled away her funds and you transferred some money into her account. Or you covered for him when he embarrassed you with his dysfunctional behavior because he refused to ...
Views: 1094 - Gain Confidence to Improve Your Relationship and Rekindle Your Passion - by Submitted on Feb 14, 2012 from nancy traversConfidence is an important factor in our lives. We naturally want to surround ourselves with confident people. We want doctors who are confident in their medical knowledge. We want colleagues who are confident in their ability to complete projects. We want friends who are confident in ...
Views: 837 - Good Listening Is the Greatest Gift - by Submitted on Oct 02, 2013 from nancy traversWhat is the greatest gift you can give your partner? What is the greatest gift that costs you nothing but time and effort? That’s the gift of understanding who she is. The gift of believing in her. Think about it. When your partner knows you “get” her, you are validating her existence to the ...
Views: 1075 - Good Listening Means Good Relationships - by Submitted on Sep 25, 2013 from nancy traversHappy people make it a point to listen to others. They like to learn new things, take an interest in others and generally feel good when they listen. In the process of listening, they are also showing respect for others’ thoughts and ideas, and that, in turn, demonstrates their self-confidence. ...
Views: 913 - Good News for Boomer Offspring - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversThree Reasons Their Divorce Rate May Be Lower Than Their Parents Baby Boomers, that group of children born after World War II, were extraordinarily lucky in many ways. They never had to fear the Nazis, war on their own turf, death camps or serious hunger. They were born after atomic bomb ...
Views: 1199 - Healthy Sexual Relationships - by Submitted on Jun 16, 2013 from nancy traversA healthy sexual relationship is an integral part of a fulfilling partnership, which is reason enough to make good sex a worthy pursuit. The trouble is, while sex often provides great pleasure, it can just as often provoke stress. Are you satisfying your partner? Are your sexual encounters ...
Views: 973 - Holiday High Anxiety—Times Two - by Submitted on Dec 18, 2012 from nancy traversPeople suffering from anxiety are often proponents of Murphy’s Law—anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Around the holidays, when we are so busy with many more tasks than usual, there is more potential for something to go wrong. And for couples, one or both of whom may be anxious, that goes ...
Views: 876 - Holiday Stress-Busters - by Submitted on Jan 01, 2014 from nancy traversIf you are one of those people for whom the holidays bring a certain amount of dread, take heart. You are not alone. Even those who seem blissfully cheery are susceptible to moments of loneliness or despair, often exacerbated by stress. Here are a few suggestions to mitigate that stress: Take ...
Views: 1267 - How a Therapist Can Help You and Your Partner - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversEffective couples therapy depends on a number of factors. Both partners must be willing to make a change. If one has already decided to give up and cannot reengage, then success is probably not possible. The key is to get to a therapist before your relationship has eroded too far. If one or both ...
Views: 1132 - How Can Counseling Help Gays and Lesbians? - by Submitted on Sep 08, 2012 from nancy traversAddressing the needs of the gay and lesbian communities starts with a healthy perspective In certain sectors of our society, being gay or lesbian is seen as unnatural, a disorder, or an aberration—to be diagnosed, accepted as wrong, and cured. Unfortunately, even a small minority of mental ...
Views: 1258 - How Come We Never Have Sex? - by Submitted on Jun 16, 2013 from nancy traversThere’s a great scene in a Woody Allen movie where a couple is seeing a counselor. Simultaneously the male complains that the couple never has sex while the female complains they have constant sex. The reason the scene is funny is because it contains a bit of truth to it. Few couples are ...
Views: 1009 - How Do You Know When You’re Being Emotionally Manipulated? - by Submitted on Sep 03, 2013 from nancy traversMost people are empathetic, unless they have a personality disorder, and they understand that emotions are sacred. To be taken seriously. Most people agree that it’s morally unethical to toy with someone else’s emotions. But some people—notably narcissists and psychopaths—find emotional ...
Views: 1274 - How Much Do You Owe Your Abusive Parents? - by Submitted on Mar 27, 2013 from nancy traversAbraham Lincoln did not attend his father’s funeral. When Abe was nine years old, his father, Thomas, left him and his sister for six months in their backwoods cabin in the charge of their 20-year-old cousin, Dennis Hanks. During that time, they often went hungry and barely scraped by. Later, ...
Views: 1048 - How to Deal with Passive-Aggressive People - by Submitted on Aug 14, 2014 from nancy traversThe trouble with passive-aggression is that both the giver and the receiver often have no idea what’s really going on. In other words, the person who’s passive-aggressive (P-A) may know he hates conflict, may know he’s feeling a little angry and may know he’s covering it up. But he doesn’t ...
Views: 1354 - How to Overcome a Co-dependent Relationship - by Submitted on May 08, 2015 from nancy traversSince co-dependent relationships are not healthy for you, why is it so hard to extricate yourself? Why is it so difficult to get out of a situation that is harmful to you? Well, we all hate change, even if that change may be for the better. And if you’ve been in a co-dependent relationship your ...
Views: 1575 - How to Quit Enabling - by Submitted on Jun 27, 2014 from nancy traversLast week I talked about how easy it is to be caught up in a destructive cycle of enabling someone you love. You may have begun by trying to help. You covered up or filled in for someone who let his responsibilities slide due to dysfunctional behavior—often addition. Over time you got stuck in a ...
Views: 1421 - How to Work Through a Break Up - by Submitted on Feb 24, 2012 from nancy traversBreaking up is a difficult time in anyone’s life, especially if you’re the one being left behind. This is a time where you may feel shaken. You’re losing your routine, your security, and maybe even the person you felt was closest to you. It is easy to feel lost and confused about who you are and ...
Views: 1598 - Is Avoiding Conflict Helping You? - by Submitted on May 14, 2012 from nancy traversThere is no shame in having communication and relationship problems, and one of the fastest ways to work through them is to try some couples therapy in Orange County. Anything that can positively affect you and the people around you will help you live a more fulfilling life. It’s against ...
Views: 645 - Is It Time to See a Therapist? - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversAbout one in four Americans is affected by a mental disorder in a given year, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. How many of those seek help from a mental health professional? Not nearly enough. So quite a few people suffer who might not have to if they sought help. But how ...
Views: 1146 - Is My Therapy Working? - by Submitted on Jun 12, 2014 from nancy traversIt’s easy to see when your friend needs to dial it down at a party. When your cousin’s behavior is a little off. When things are off balance for someone else. But it’s not so easy to see about yourself. Sometimes you seek therapy precisely because you are not clear about where you are trying to ...
Views: 1114 - Is There a Passive-Agressive Person in Your Life? - by Submitted on Aug 14, 2014 from nancy traversAt best, their behavior is dishonest. At worst, it’s abusive. But you may not have even noticed it. That’s because a passive-aggressive person can be so subtle you may not realize their supposed joke was really a hostile remark. Or their procrastination at getting something you need done is ...
Views: 1530 - Is Your Emotional Foundation Shaky? - by Submitted on Aug 16, 2012 from nancy traversFortifying or rebuilding your foundation starts with assessing how solid or shaky it is Our emotional foundation is the personality structure we operate from, much of it formed in childhood. Some of us are fortunate—born into families that shower love on their children, protect them, provide ...
Views: 1210 - Is Your Partner Depressed? - by Submitted on Jul 09, 2013 from nancy traversIf your partner is depressed, your relationship suffers, and may even cause you to feel a bit depressed yourself. If you have trouble determining whether your partner is depressed, take heart. You’re not alone. The word ‘depression’ has been used to describe everything from being in a bad mood ...
Views: 976 - Letting Go Can Be Good. You Can Quote Me! - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversA friend always takes herself out to lunch on her birthday. By herself. She’s been doing this since she was a young girl. It’s a good time to contemplate what you want for yourself in the year ahead. But a good life is not always about what you acquire. It can also be about what you shed. You ...
Views: 1128 - Listen Up (2013) - by Submitted on Jan 17, 2013 from nancy traversEver heard the expression “Listen up?” Sometimes coaches say it when their team is in a huddle. They want everyone to pay particular attention to their message. Listen up. Lift your chin up; direct your gaze up into my eyes. Listen carefully and hear what I’m saying. Listen up. How often do ...
Views: 2267 - Lonely? You’re Not Alone. - by Submitted on Jul 22, 2014 from nancy traversLoneliness is a tricky thing to combat. Loneliness seems to beget loneliness. When you feel isolated you crawl into your shell and become more so. You feel separated from other human beings. You may have physical symptoms too, like an ache or a heaviness in your chest. It’s not a good ...
Views: 1384 - Make a Plan to Combat Loneliness - by Submitted on Jul 22, 2014 from nancy traversFeeling lonely is painful. Often people who feel lonely exacerbate the situation by blaming themselves. Why am I lonely? Because other people don’t like me. Why don’t they like me? Because I’m a loser. It’s not hard to imagine how this internal conversation can go downhill very quickly and make ...
Views: 1252 - Marriage’s Underwater Mines: ADD - by Submitted on Sep 05, 2012 from nancy traversIn some marriages, a dark cloud hangs over the home, going by many different names: bills unpaid, appointments missed, chores ignored or unfinished, kids not picked up, calls not made—maybe poor job performance to boot. Many of these things happen as a normal occurrence from time to time, and ...
Views: 1688 - Meditation Fundamentals - by Submitted on Jul 22, 2014 from nancy traversMost of us are so busy that the thought of sitting still for 20 minutes or even 5 minutes a day is beyond us. We know meditation is probably good for us, but rewards seem fuzzy and methodology even fuzzier. What, exactly, is meditation? And do you have to be religious? Meditation is often ...
Views: 1193 - Meditation Transformation - by Submitted on Mar 12, 2015 from nancy traversMeditation Transformation – What’s Stopping You? If you could change your brain for the better, would you? If you could increase your working memory and enhance your decision-making ability by meditating, would you give it a try? What if you could also: Slow down the natural decline of your ...
Views: 1516 - Men are Afraid of Relationships. True or False? (Usually, False) - by Submitted on May 14, 2012 from nancy traversThis guide is designed as a list if most common reasons a man may not want to commit to a woman – but if you need help sorting this kind of thing for yourself, Orange County counseling may be beneficial to you. Your man keeps telling you he needs more time, and you can't figure out why. He ...
Views: 526 - Mistakes Even Smart Couples Make - by Submitted on May 15, 2014 from nancy traversThere are different kinds of intelligence. You and your partner may have been good at schoolwork; you may even have an advanced degree or two. That doesn’t mean your intelligence extends to relationships—emotional intelligence. Often being smart in relationships depends on the home you grew up ...
Views: 1072 - Mustering Courage to Seek Therapy - by Submitted on Jun 12, 2014 from nancy traversSometimes the people who need therapy the most are the very people who find it hardest to seek help. They’re afraid they’re wasting the therapist’s time. They’re afraid they’re wasting their own or their loved one’s money. They’re afraid of exposing their deepest selves—and of trying and ...
Views: 1107 - New Year’s Resolutions for You and Your Partner - by Submitted on Jan 01, 2014 from nancy traversA happy relationship takes a little thought. I hesitate to quote the cliché that you have to work at your relationship—it sounds so onerous. And it’s really not work to make an effort—it’s an investment of time and energy to make your relationship as great as it can be. Here are a few ...
Views: 1055 - Parenting the Creative Child: The Ten “Commendments” - by Submitted on Aug 15, 2012 from nancy traversTo nurture your child’s creative talent: commend, don’t command At some point in the early life of your new child, she or he surprises you. She listens intently to the story you’re reading, then adds her own imaginative ending. Or he not only colors out of the lines, but also draws in extra ...
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