Self Improvement Site
On The Internet! Take the Self Improvement Tour
On The Internet! Take the Self Improvement Tour
Articles from Leslie Cane | Selfgrowth.com
- My Husband Is Moody, Distracted, And Distant. Is A Change In Behavior Always Something To Worry About? Because My Spouse Is Acting Weird. - by Submitted on May 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneA common worry that many wives have is whether or not they should be worried when their husband shows "weird" or "unusual" behavior. The first inclination of many is to just ask him about this. Unfortunately, though, many husbands do not give you a completely straight answer. Many will tell ...
Views: 2289 - Why Does My Separated Husband Even Want To Be Friends? Is It A Good Idea? Why It Can Be An Important First Step. - by Submitted on May 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneSome people have the unfortunate scenario of having their separation start because of an unfortunate situation. It wasn't just a matter of growing apart or their spouse needing space. It was an issue that made both parties angry and so things went very wrong. As a result, the couple separates on ...
Views: 2262 - How To Convince A Separated Husband To Communicate When You Always Have To Call Him And He Never Wants To Meet Face-To-Face. - by Submitted on May 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany wives are very upset during their marital separation because their worst fear is literally coming true. Although their husband may have reassured them that they would stay in constant contact, once the separation begins, he can go silent. Many of the wives intuitively realize the inherent ...
Views: 2215 - I Thought We Were Doing Better After My Husband Moved Out. But He Doesn't Know If He Wants To Stay With Me For The Rest Of His Life - by Submitted on May 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneOn the day of your marriage, you envision growing old with that man standing at the altar with you. The idea is that the two of you will navigate life's good days and bad days together. On this day, virtually none of us envision that this ideal is not actually going to happen. That's why it ...
Views: 2129 - My Husband Is So Needy And Demands Constant Attention. He Says That I Don't Show That I Care. I Resent His Neediness - by Submitted on May 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneIt would be wonderful if we were always on the same page with our marriage. It would be nice if we would automatically know what our spouse needs and then be able to magically provide it, but this rarely happens. One reason for this is that people don't always indicate what they need or they ...
Views: 2080 - I Filed For Divorce And Now I Regret It. I Just Want My Husband Back. - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2020 from Leslie CaneThe other day, I got an email from a wife who was filled with regret. To make a very long story short, she and her husband had been having problems for quite some time. They still loved each other, she thought, but the relationship had evolved into something that neither of them recognized any ...
Views: 2059 - How Can I Change Myself To Re-Attract My Separated Husband? How Can I Make Him Attracted To Me Again When I Look Different Or Have Gained Weight? - by Submitted on May 13, 2020 from Leslie CaneThere are times when you are dealing with a trial or marital separation where you don't really know for sure why your husband pursued all of this. Sure, he may have given you very general descriptions about being unhappy or needing his space, but he hasn't come right out and told you EXACTLY why ...
Views: 1940 - My Husband's Job Loss (And The Stress From It) Is Hurting Our Marriage So Bad We Might Be Headed For Separation Or Divorce - by Submitted on May 13, 2020 from Leslie CaneI've started to get a lot of emails from people whose spouses have lost their jobs in today's economy. Often, this eventually puts a huge strain on the marriage even if the couple had a very strong relationship before the job loss. Even when the spouse who is still working is quite supportive, ...
Views: 1929 - My Separated Husband Lies And Hides Things From Me. Why Won't He Just Be Truthful? How Hard Is It To Just Tell The Truth? - by Submitted on May 12, 2020 from Leslie CaneWhen your spouse pursues a separation, it's natural to be concerned about his motivations. One common concern that I hear a lot about comes from women who are concerned that their husband truly wants a divorce because he wants to start seeing other women. These concerns are understandable. ...
Views: 1658 - My Husband Is Always Mad At Me. He Constantly Says He Doesn't Love Me Out Of Anger. What Does This Mean For Our Marriage? - by Submitted on May 12, 2020 from Leslie CaneSome wives occasionally feel unloved by their husbands. And, much of the time, they don't feel this way because of the way that their husband acts. They feel this way because of the words that he carelessly says when he becomes angry. Many times, the husband's go-to words when he particularly ...
Views: 1494 - My Husband Doesn't Love Me Any Longer But I Still Love Him. Can I Make Him Fall Back In Love With Me? - by Submitted on May 12, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from wives whose husbands have told them that he no longer loves them. They often don't want to accept this and some doubt if it's even true. These women want to know if they have to accept this or if there is anything at all that they can do. I often hear comments like: "my ...
Views: 1411 - My Husband Completely Neglects Me. I Know That I'm Losing My Husband - What Can I Do To Save My Marriage? - by Submitted on May 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneI recently heard from a wife who told me that she could literally feel her husband slipping away from her. She said in part: "I know that I'm losing him. I can feel it. He just doesn't seem all that interested in me or the marriage anymore. I feel like any day now, he's going to tell me that he ...
Views: 1309 - I Think A Midlife Crisis Made My Spouse Leave. How Do I Know If I'm Right? Look For These Signs. - by Submitted on May 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany of the wives who read my articles believe that at least part of the motivation behind their separation is their husband's midlife crisis. However, there is always the worry that the midlife crisis has become a catch-all for most unhappy husbands. Nonetheless, some wives rush to put their ...
Views: 1296 - My Husband Refuses To Grow Up. He Claims He'll Change And Act Like An Adult To Save Our Marriage, But I've Heard It Before - by Submitted on May 07, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany people are skeptical about their spouse's claims that they will make drastic changes in order to save their marriage. Often, this whole speech sounds very familiar because they have heard it all before. And this leaves them with more doubt than confidence. A wife might complain: "For the ...
Views: 1220 - What Makes A Man Leave His Wife? 3 Reasons Why Husbands Leave Their Wives - by Submitted on May 12, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from wives who are very confused because their husband has left their home and is now apparently pursuing a marital separation. Sometimes, the wife had a little warning about this beforehand. And sometimes, she didn't. But regardless of the circumstances, it is always shocking and ...
Views: 1165 - My Separated Husband Never Comforts Me When I'm Upset. Should He Still Care For Me Emotionally? Tips For Improving His Emotional Intelligence. - by Submitted on May 06, 2020 from Leslie CaneIt's common for wives to feel that their husband is not as emotionally connected as they are. This can be true whether you are currently separated or not. (A separation does add another complication to the mix, but most wives have wondered if their husband is as emotionally invested as he should ...
Views: 1148 - Can A Fresh Start Avoid A Marital Separation? Can You Start Fresh When You Are Separated And Want To Save Your Marriage? - by Submitted on Aug 03, 2021 from Leslie CaneThere are many strategies that couples might try when it feels like they're treading water with their marriage. Often, they will first sincerely try to work through their issues. Unfortunately, this can be a tricky and/or gradual process. So couples can become impatient or frustrated. That's why ...
Views: 1097 - How to Reconnect With Your Husband During A Separation Through Gradual, Increasingly Meaningful Conversations - by Submitted on May 05, 2020 from Leslie CaneWhen you are reluctantly separated and want to save your marriage, you often intuitively know that communication is vitally important. Saving your marriage means that you are going to eventually need to overcome what drove you apart in the first place and then re-create the intimacy that will ...
Views: 1057 - How Do I Make My Husband Love Me Again During Our Separation? How To Pull Him Closer When You Feel Him Pulling Away. - by Submitted on May 05, 2020 from Leslie CaneIf the martial or trial separation was never your choice, then the chances are good that you are looking for any way to end it and to carry on with your marriage. Many people suspect that one very efficient and effective way to end the separation is for their spouse to come to the realization ...
Views: 1054 - How To Avoid A Separation In Your Marriage (Without Trying To Talk, Pressure, Or Scare Your Spouse Out Of It.) - by Submitted on May 05, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people whose spouse has announced that he wants to separate or divorce. Most of the people I hear from do not agree to this. But of course, there are two people in any marriage. So just one person wanting to remain together does not necessarily mean that it is going to ...
Views: 1018 - How To Talk To Your Husband To Save Your Marriage: Is There Anything That You Do Or Say To Change His Mind? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneNot only is it very painful when your spouse starts talking about being unhappy in your marriage, but it's also panic-inducing. We often begin to picture the worst-case scenario almost immediately and some of us have an almost instant need to attempt to change his mind. To demonstrate, I ...
Views: 1017 - My Husband Says It's Too Little Too Late To Save Our Marriage. How Do I Change His Mind? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who are desperately trying to convince their husbands that it's possible to save their marriage. Sometimes, the husband remains firm in his belief that the marriage is too far gone to save. I recently heard from a wife in this situation. She said, in part: "I'm pretty ...
Views: 1013 - My Husband Won't Fight For Me. Why Won't He Step Up And Fight For Our Marriage? - by Submitted on May 13, 2020 from Leslie CaneAdmittedly, not everyone who tells their spouse that they want them to leave, take a break, or pursue a trial separation is telling the absolute truth. In fact, many spouses will make these claims simply because they want to get their spouse's attention or they are trying to get their spouse to ...
Views: 1010 - My Husband Never Takes My Side, Defends Me, Or Has My Back. It Hurts Me And Makes Me Doubt My Marriage. - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2020 from Leslie CaneIn a good marriage, we would do just about anything for our spouse. A marriage is a relationship where, ideally, you would go to war for your spouse if you had to. People who are happily married generally have the outlook that they and their spouse are a pack of two and that they will defend ...
Views: 971 - My Husband Gets Angry When I Try To Talk To Him About Our Trial Separation: I Just Want To Know How It Would Work And He's Evasive. Why? - by Submitted on May 04, 2020 from Leslie CaneWhen your spouse starts talking about a trial separation, it is perfectly natural, (and understandable,) to want as many details as you can possibly get. After all, it is pretty obvious that your life is going to change dramatically. Because of that, you want specific details, so that you can ...
Views: 954 - How Do I Convince My Husband To Stay With Me? I Would Do Anything To Make My Husband Stay Married. - by Submitted on May 12, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who are desperate for some sort of plan to make their husbands stay with them. Often, the husband has suggested a break, separation, or divorce. This is usually the last thing that the wives who write to me want. I recently had a wife say, in part: "I would do ...
Views: 948 - My Husband Always Turns Things Around On Me: He Twists My Words When I Bring Up Our Problems, Causing A Huge Fight - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2020 from Leslie CaneIt's tricky when you know that your marriage is potentially in trouble, but you can't talk to your spouse about the same. You aren't wanting to bring up your issues to cause problems or to end your marriage. You want to bring up your issues so that you can save your marriage. But your spouse ...
Views: 926 - I Don't Understand What My Separated Spouse Wants From Me. We Aren't On The Same Page. - by Submitted on May 13, 2020 from Leslie CaneOne of the most common topics that I get asked about is how to read or interpret "mixed signals" from a separated spouse. Even when you're trying very hard to be open and to "go with the flow" as far as your separated spouse is concerned, it can be difficult when you both get frustrated with the ...
Views: 904 - How Do I Convince My Husband To Go To Counseling To Save Our Marriage When He Refuses To Go? - by Submitted on May 13, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany wives know that something drastic must happen in order for their marriage to be saved. They often fully realize that they are dealing with a marriage that is very damaged. And some realize that they are going to need more than just good intentions to be successful in saving their marriage. ...
Views: 901 - My Husband Feels Trapped In Our Marriage. He Says He's Miserable. How Am I Supposed To Take This? - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2020 from Leslie CaneSometimes, you have a feeling that your marriage is deteriorating, but you hope that perhaps you are making things worse than they are. That is until your spouse says something that leaves you with no doubt that you were right. Sometimes your spouse uses extremely hurtful adjectives that can ...
Views: 898 - My Husband Straight Up Told Me He Doesn't Love Me Anymore - by Submitted on May 04, 2020 from Leslie CaneI recently heard from a wife who recently had a very upsetting exchange with her husband. They had recently exchanged some pretty heated words and the husband threw up his hands and said their whole marriage was a "farce and a joke." This stopped the wife cold in her tracks because normally when ...
Views: 895 - My Husband Says I'm Too Needy And He's Not Responsible For My Happiness. What Does That Mean For My Marriage? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneWhen you are struggling in your marriage, it is perfectly natural to want to analyze everything that your spouse is saying. After all, you know that you are on shaky ground, but you just don't know how bad things are or how bad things are going to get. So, you listen carefully to your spouse and ...
Views: 871 - My Husband Doesn't Meet My Emotional Needs And Doesn't Care If I'm Lonely: Tips To Inspire Him To Give You More Attention - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who feel as if they've become more of an individual than a couple. They feel like their relationship with their husband has become somewhat distant and, unfortunately, this was not their choice. There can be a loss of connection and that can invoke a feeling of deep ...
Views: 851 - Powerful, Nonintuitive Tactics to Get Your Husband Back - by Submitted on May 12, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes tell wives that very often the most powerful tactic to getting your husband back is doing those things that work but don't feel intuitive. It's not necessarily thinking about what you want to do and then doing the opposite, but often the things that feel right at the time are the ...
Views: 844 - How Do You Cope When Your Husband Leaves You and You Still Love Him? - by Submitted on May 13, 2020 from Leslie CaneI get a lot of emails asking for tips on coping when your husband has left but you still love him and want him back. It can be very painful and just feel odd when you're on your own and feel like part of you is missing. It can also be worse when there is an unknown of how it is going to turn ...
Views: 842 - My Husband Isn't A Happy Family Man Anymore. He's Lost Interest In Me, Our Kids, And In Home Life - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who are not yet separated, but who worry that a separation may occur in the future. Many of these wives can feel their husbands' interest and affection slipping away. One of them might say something like this, "my husband and I actually became closer when we became ...
Views: 841 - Boundaries And Lines That You Shouldn't Cross During Your Marital Or Trial Separation - by Submitted on Aug 03, 2021 from Leslie CaneMany of the people who reach out to me are wives. They are wives who are reluctantly separated and who are miserable living without their husbands. Understandably, they often experiment with different strategies and behaviors to try to encourage a reconciliation. Sometimes, these experiments ...
Views: 840 - When Your Separated Husband Is Apathetic To You And Your Marriage. How Do You Break Through To Him? - by Submitted on Aug 03, 2021 from Leslie CaneA lot of the correspondence that I get is concerning, but one type stands out from all the rest. This type of correspondence is indicative of a very serious problem that shouldn't be ignored. You might assume that I'm talking about extreme anger, sorrow, or even claims of outright hatred between ...
Views: 835 - How Can I Be Sure That My Husband Will Stay When He's Admitted He's No Longer In Love Me? - by Submitted on May 12, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who have heard a very difficult truth from their husbands. He's now claiming that he is no longer in love with her. But after dropping that bit of bad news, he's assuring her that he's going to stay either because of the children or because of his sense of ...
Views: 816 - My Separated Husband Has Said Mean, Hurtful Things That I Can't Get Over. How Can I Even Begin To Save My Marriage After These Unforgivable Comments? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneSaving your marriage with two willing people can feel daunting and overwhelming at times. But saving your marriage when one spouse is not participating and has said very hurtful things can feel downright impossible. A wife might be dealing with a marriage in which both parties have said ...
Views: 805 - I No Longer Feel Loved By My Husband. What Do I Do? Tips That May Help. - by Submitted on May 12, 2020 from Leslie CaneI get a lot of correspondence from wives who worry that their husbands are no longer are "in love" with them. These same wives are usually no longer receiving the affection or the affirmations that make someone in a marriage feel loved. These women will often tell me things like "it's almost as ...
Views: 804 - My Husband Is Selfish And Uncaring. It's All About Him. I Want To Write Him A Letter And Tell Him So. - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from folks who are so angry at their spouse that they are not even sure that they can address the problem face-to-face. Many are looking for pointers as to how to write a letter to get their point across because they do not trust themselves to state this verbally. They worry ...
Views: 802 - I Don't Like My Spouse Anymore. His Personality Annoys Me. What Does This Mean For My Marriage? - by Submitted on May 13, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany people are clear on the fact that, no matter what happens, they are committed to still loving their spouse. This, they figure, is the meaning of unconditional love. You love someone even when they aren't at their most lovable and even when it's not always easy for you. After all, love is a ...
Views: 800 - It's Taking Too Long To Reconcile While Separated. And He's Seeing Someone Else. When Is It Just Time To Give Up And Realize That Your Marriage Is Better Off Being Over? - by Submitted on May 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from folks who are starting to feel very discouraged because their separation has gone on for so long or things have been so volatile that it is starting to feel as if there is no hope. Sometimes, people recount situations where they feel disrespected and mistreated by their ...
Views: 770 - How To Approach A Marital Separation So That You Make It Work For You And Your Marriage. - by Submitted on May 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany of the inquiries that I get are questions like "how to survive a trial separation." Or "how to overcome a separated marriage." It is very clear that most wives see the separation as something which must be endured. I completely understand this because this is how I viewed it during my own ...
Views: 764 - For How Long Should A Trial Separation Last? What Is The Average Time For A Separation Before Reconciliation? - by Submitted on May 05, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from folks who are getting ready to separate from their spouse. Many never wanted the separation to begin with and they are dreading it now. So, they want to know what they are up against and how long they must endure it. Some of them are dealing with spouses who are insinuating or ...
Views: 750 - My Husband Says He Doesn't Care If I Leave Because We're Not Happy. I Guess He Tried To Call My Bluff - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneIn certain circumstances, I do not find it unusual for married couples to threaten the very thing that they fear the most. In other words, it is not uncommon for a wife who dreads a separation to threaten that very thing in order to get her husband to reassure her that there will be NO ...
Views: 745 - My Husband Sabotages My Happiness: He Could Care Less Whether I'm Happy Or Not. - by Submitted on May 06, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from folks who think that things are lopsided in their marriage. One example is the spouse who thinks that although she values her husband's happiness above her own, he doesn't return the favor. And over time, she has come to believe that he could care less whether her happiness ...
Views: 737 - My Husband Feels Like A Stranger To Me. What To Do When You Don't Know Who Your Husband is Anymore. - by Submitted on May 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneI recently received correspondence from a wife who was feeling increasingly distant from her husband. Over the past few years, she had noticed some changes in him. And, these were changes that she didn't like all that much. She told me that her husband used to be easy going and laid back. Today, ...
Views: 729 - My Husband Is Hinting That It's Over Between Us. I Think My Marriage Is Over. What Do I Do Now? - by Submitted on May 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneI know first hand that it is an absolutely horrible, terrifying feeling when you begin to feel in the bottom of your gut that perhaps your marriage is over. This is made even worse if the state of your marriage has brought about anxiety and unhappiness. You already feel bad enough. But when you ...
Views: 727