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Articles from Leslie Cane | Selfgrowth.com
- When Your Separated Husband Is Apathetic To You And Your Marriage. How Do You Break Through To Him? - by Submitted on Aug 03, 2021 from Leslie CaneA lot of the correspondence that I get is concerning, but one type stands out from all the rest. This type of correspondence is indicative of a very serious problem that shouldn't be ignored. You might assume that I'm talking about extreme anger, sorrow, or even claims of outright hatred between ...
Views: 783 - Boundaries And Lines That You Shouldn't Cross During Your Marital Or Trial Separation - by Submitted on Aug 03, 2021 from Leslie CaneMany of the people who reach out to me are wives. They are wives who are reluctantly separated and who are miserable living without their husbands. Understandably, they often experiment with different strategies and behaviors to try to encourage a reconciliation. Sometimes, these experiments ...
Views: 785 - Can A Fresh Start Avoid A Marital Separation? Can You Start Fresh When You Are Separated And Want To Save Your Marriage? - by Submitted on Aug 03, 2021 from Leslie CaneThere are many strategies that couples might try when it feels like they're treading water with their marriage. Often, they will first sincerely try to work through their issues. Unfortunately, this can be a tricky and/or gradual process. So couples can become impatient or frustrated. That's why ...
Views: 1043 - How To Approach A Marital Separation So That You Make It Work For You And Your Marriage. - by Submitted on May 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany of the inquiries that I get are questions like "how to survive a trial separation." Or "how to overcome a separated marriage." It is very clear that most wives see the separation as something which must be endured. I completely understand this because this is how I viewed it during my own ...
Views: 727 - My Husband Is Moody, Distracted, And Distant. Is A Change In Behavior Always Something To Worry About? Because My Spouse Is Acting Weird. - by Submitted on May 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneA common worry that many wives have is whether or not they should be worried when their husband shows "weird" or "unusual" behavior. The first inclination of many is to just ask him about this. Unfortunately, though, many husbands do not give you a completely straight answer. Many will tell ...
Views: 2254 - I'm Absolutely Miserable Since My Husband Left Me For A Trial Separation. Tips That Might Help - by Submitted on May 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany wives are having a very difficult time coping after their husband has left them to pursue a trial separation. They often aren't sure how to constructively fill their time. And they can find themselves always thinking about and dwelling on their husband and on their marriage. Time seems ...
Views: 637 - It's Taking Too Long To Reconcile While Separated. And He's Seeing Someone Else. When Is It Just Time To Give Up And Realize That Your Marriage Is Better Off Being Over? - by Submitted on May 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from folks who are starting to feel very discouraged because their separation has gone on for so long or things have been so volatile that it is starting to feel as if there is no hope. Sometimes, people recount situations where they feel disrespected and mistreated by their ...
Views: 744 - The Pros and Cons of A Trial Separation: Important Pluses and Minuses. - by Submitted on May 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany people feel intense worry when they are considering a trial separation. What if this is the wrong decision? What if the separation pushes you toward a divorce that you don't want? Is there another alternative that you haven't explored? These are all very valid questions. As someone who ...
Views: 668 - How To Convince A Separated Husband To Communicate When You Always Have To Call Him And He Never Wants To Meet Face-To-Face. - by Submitted on May 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany wives are very upset during their marital separation because their worst fear is literally coming true. Although their husband may have reassured them that they would stay in constant contact, once the separation begins, he can go silent. Many of the wives intuitively realize the inherent ...
Views: 2177 - Why Does My Separated Husband Even Want To Be Friends? Is It A Good Idea? Why It Can Be An Important First Step. - by Submitted on May 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneSome people have the unfortunate scenario of having their separation start because of an unfortunate situation. It wasn't just a matter of growing apart or their spouse needing space. It was an issue that made both parties angry and so things went very wrong. As a result, the couple separates on ...
Views: 2217 - I Think A Midlife Crisis Made My Spouse Leave. How Do I Know If I'm Right? Look For These Signs. - by Submitted on May 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany of the wives who read my articles believe that at least part of the motivation behind their separation is their husband's midlife crisis. However, there is always the worry that the midlife crisis has become a catch-all for most unhappy husbands. Nonetheless, some wives rush to put their ...
Views: 1256 - I Thought We Were Doing Better After My Husband Moved Out. But He Doesn't Know If He Wants To Stay With Me For The Rest Of His Life - by Submitted on May 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneOn the day of your marriage, you envision growing old with that man standing at the altar with you. The idea is that the two of you will navigate life's good days and bad days together. On this day, virtually none of us envision that this ideal is not actually going to happen. That's why it ...
Views: 2091 - My Husband Is So Needy And Demands Constant Attention. He Says That I Don't Show That I Care. I Resent His Neediness - by Submitted on May 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneIt would be wonderful if we were always on the same page with our marriage. It would be nice if we would automatically know what our spouse needs and then be able to magically provide it, but this rarely happens. One reason for this is that people don't always indicate what they need or they ...
Views: 2042 - How Can I Change Myself To Re-Attract My Separated Husband? How Can I Make Him Attracted To Me Again When I Look Different Or Have Gained Weight? - by Submitted on May 13, 2020 from Leslie CaneThere are times when you are dealing with a trial or marital separation where you don't really know for sure why your husband pursued all of this. Sure, he may have given you very general descriptions about being unhappy or needing his space, but he hasn't come right out and told you EXACTLY why ...
Views: 1903 - I Don't Like My Spouse Anymore. His Personality Annoys Me. What Does This Mean For My Marriage? - by Submitted on May 13, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany people are clear on the fact that, no matter what happens, they are committed to still loving their spouse. This, they figure, is the meaning of unconditional love. You love someone even when they aren't at their most lovable and even when it's not always easy for you. After all, love is a ...
Views: 762 - My Husband Won't Fight For Me. Why Won't He Step Up And Fight For Our Marriage? - by Submitted on May 13, 2020 from Leslie CaneAdmittedly, not everyone who tells their spouse that they want them to leave, take a break, or pursue a trial separation is telling the absolute truth. In fact, many spouses will make these claims simply because they want to get their spouse's attention or they are trying to get their spouse to ...
Views: 971 - I Don't Understand What My Separated Spouse Wants From Me. We Aren't On The Same Page. - by Submitted on May 13, 2020 from Leslie CaneOne of the most common topics that I get asked about is how to read or interpret "mixed signals" from a separated spouse. Even when you're trying very hard to be open and to "go with the flow" as far as your separated spouse is concerned, it can be difficult when you both get frustrated with the ...
Views: 871 - How Do I Convince My Husband To Go To Counseling To Save Our Marriage When He Refuses To Go? - by Submitted on May 13, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany wives know that something drastic must happen in order for their marriage to be saved. They often fully realize that they are dealing with a marriage that is very damaged. And some realize that they are going to need more than just good intentions to be successful in saving their marriage. ...
Views: 864 - My Husband's Job Loss (And The Stress From It) Is Hurting Our Marriage So Bad We Might Be Headed For Separation Or Divorce - by Submitted on May 13, 2020 from Leslie CaneI've started to get a lot of emails from people whose spouses have lost their jobs in today's economy. Often, this eventually puts a huge strain on the marriage even if the couple had a very strong relationship before the job loss. Even when the spouse who is still working is quite supportive, ...
Views: 1894 - How Do I Know When To Leave My Marriage? My Husband Just Told Me If I'm So Unhappy, Then I Should Leave. Should I? - by Submitted on May 13, 2020 from Leslie CaneI don't think that anyone enjoys being unsatisfied with their marriage. I don't think that anyone strives to be unhappy. In fact, many of us don't admit, even to ourselves, that we are not content with our marriage until things have gotten pretty bad. And sometimes, once we admit this ...
Views: 553 - How Do You Cope When Your Husband Leaves You and You Still Love Him? - by Submitted on May 13, 2020 from Leslie CaneI get a lot of emails asking for tips on coping when your husband has left but you still love him and want him back. It can be very painful and just feel odd when you're on your own and feel like part of you is missing. It can also be worse when there is an unknown of how it is going to turn ...
Views: 805 - Should I Stay Married Just Because of Money? My Advice Based on Experience - by Submitted on May 12, 2020 from Leslie CaneLately, I've been getting a lot of emails from folks who ask me if they should stay married because they can't afford to get a divorce. One example is the stay-at-home mom who has been out of the workforce for quite some time and knows that her income would not be enough to support herself or ...
Views: 578 - How Do I Convince My Husband To Stay With Me? I Would Do Anything To Make My Husband Stay Married. - by Submitted on May 12, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who are desperate for some sort of plan to make their husbands stay with them. Often, the husband has suggested a break, separation, or divorce. This is usually the last thing that the wives who write to me want. I recently had a wife say, in part: "I would do ...
Views: 919 - How Can I Be Sure That My Husband Will Stay When He's Admitted He's No Longer In Love Me? - by Submitted on May 12, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who have heard a very difficult truth from their husbands. He's now claiming that he is no longer in love with her. But after dropping that bit of bad news, he's assuring her that he's going to stay either because of the children or because of his sense of ...
Views: 780 - Can You Save A Marriage When The Love Is Gone? Can A Marriage Survive Falling Out Of Love? - by Submitted on May 12, 2020 from Leslie CaneI hear from many spouses who are sure that their spouse is no longer "in love" with them. Sometimes, their spouse has actually told them as much. Other times, their spouse is communicating this message, but they are doing so with actions and not words. In short, the spouse just isn't attentive ...
Views: 582 - Powerful, Nonintuitive Tactics to Get Your Husband Back - by Submitted on May 12, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes tell wives that very often the most powerful tactic to getting your husband back is doing those things that work but don't feel intuitive. It's not necessarily thinking about what you want to do and then doing the opposite, but often the things that feel right at the time are the ...
Views: 806 - I No Longer Feel Loved By My Husband. What Do I Do? Tips That May Help. - by Submitted on May 12, 2020 from Leslie CaneI get a lot of correspondence from wives who worry that their husbands are no longer are "in love" with them. These same wives are usually no longer receiving the affection or the affirmations that make someone in a marriage feel loved. These women will often tell me things like "it's almost as ...
Views: 764 - What Makes A Man Leave His Wife? 3 Reasons Why Husbands Leave Their Wives - by Submitted on May 12, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from wives who are very confused because their husband has left their home and is now apparently pursuing a marital separation. Sometimes, the wife had a little warning about this beforehand. And sometimes, she didn't. But regardless of the circumstances, it is always shocking and ...
Views: 1128 - My Separated Husband Lies And Hides Things From Me. Why Won't He Just Be Truthful? How Hard Is It To Just Tell The Truth? - by Submitted on May 12, 2020 from Leslie CaneWhen your spouse pursues a separation, it's natural to be concerned about his motivations. One common concern that I hear a lot about comes from women who are concerned that their husband truly wants a divorce because he wants to start seeing other women. These concerns are understandable. ...
Views: 1625 - My Husband Is Always Mad At Me. He Constantly Says He Doesn't Love Me Out Of Anger. What Does This Mean For Our Marriage? - by Submitted on May 12, 2020 from Leslie CaneSome wives occasionally feel unloved by their husbands. And, much of the time, they don't feel this way because of the way that their husband acts. They feel this way because of the words that he carelessly says when he becomes angry. Many times, the husband's go-to words when he particularly ...
Views: 1459 - My Husband Doesn't Love Me Any Longer But I Still Love Him. Can I Make Him Fall Back In Love With Me? - by Submitted on May 12, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from wives whose husbands have told them that he no longer loves them. They often don't want to accept this and some doubt if it's even true. These women want to know if they have to accept this or if there is anything at all that they can do. I often hear comments like: "my ...
Views: 1375 - I Feel Like My Husband Doesn't Care About Me Anymore. Does My Marriage Even Stand a Chance? - by Submitted on May 12, 2020 from Leslie CaneI recently heard from a woman who outlined pretty dreadful living conditions with her husband. She described a spouse who had pretty apathetic and cold. From the way that the wife described the situation, it seemed as if he either treated her with annoyance or pretended that she didn't exist. ...
Views: 675 - My Husband Is Hinting That It's Over Between Us. I Think My Marriage Is Over. What Do I Do Now? - by Submitted on May 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneI know first hand that it is an absolutely horrible, terrifying feeling when you begin to feel in the bottom of your gut that perhaps your marriage is over. This is made even worse if the state of your marriage has brought about anxiety and unhappiness. You already feel bad enough. But when you ...
Views: 689 - My Husband Refuses To Work On Your Marriage. He Thinks That He Should Not Have to "Work" At A Relationship - Tips and Advice That May Help - by Submitted on May 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneOver the holiday weekend, I got an email from a wife who was asking for my advice on getting her husband's cooperation in helping to improve and save their marriage. She wrote, in part: "my husband feels that a marriage shouldn't be work -- that if two people are compatible and are a good match ...
Views: 572 - My Husband Completely Neglects Me. I Know That I'm Losing My Husband - What Can I Do To Save My Marriage? - by Submitted on May 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneI recently heard from a wife who told me that she could literally feel her husband slipping away from her. She said in part: "I know that I'm losing him. I can feel it. He just doesn't seem all that interested in me or the marriage anymore. I feel like any day now, he's going to tell me that he ...
Views: 1267 - I Am Unwanted In My Marriage. My Husband Doesn't Want Me Anymore - Tips and Advice That Might Help - by Submitted on May 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneI very often get emails from wives who confide that their husband doesn't want them anymore. This can be a loaded phrase. Sometimes, what the wife means is that the husband no longer seems to be attracted to them physically. Other times, the wife means that the husband no longer wants to be ...
Views: 665 - I Feel Like A Stranger In My Marriage. My Spouse Doesn't Really Know Me. He Doesn't See My True Self - by Submitted on May 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often say that one of the things people most want in a romantic partner is to feel seen and understood. What I mean by this is that if a person can make us feel as if they see what we are truly about and love us unconditionally anyway, that's a feeling of acceptance that most of us have been ...
Views: 579 - My Husband Feels Like A Stranger To Me. What To Do When You Don't Know Who Your Husband is Anymore. - by Submitted on May 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneI recently received correspondence from a wife who was feeling increasingly distant from her husband. Over the past few years, she had noticed some changes in him. And, these were changes that she didn't like all that much. She told me that her husband used to be easy going and laid back. Today, ...
Views: 689 - My Husband Refuses To Change. He Tells Me What I Want To Hear But Nothing Ever Changes - by Submitted on May 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany people are pretty clear about what they need from their spouses in order to be happy in their marriage. And sometimes, the more unhappy you are in your marriage, the more you spell this out for your spouse. That's why it can be very frustrating when your spouse assures you that you are ...
Views: 550 - Overcoming Marital Challenges And Deterioration When You Feel Like Your Marriage Won't Ever Get Any Better And Will Only Get Worse. - by Submitted on May 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneIt’s easy to lose perspective when your marriage deteriorates and becomes unhappy. Like with anything else that turns bad, it can begin to feel as if things will never change or improve. Each day can seem worse than the last. And one wonders if the clouds will ever lift. Someone might ...
Views: 574 - My Husband Puts His Friends Ahead Of Me. He Does Not Fully Meet His Commitments To Me Or Honor Our Marriage Vows - by Submitted on May 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneIt's not uncommon for me to hear from people who have discovered that their marriage hasn't turned out how they thought that it would. Many see this as a negative thing because they perceive that their spouse is falling short in some way. And many feel as if their spouse isn't meeting his or her ...
Views: 507 - My Husband Is Not Interested In Me Anymore. Does A Husband's Distance Mean He No Longer Loves You? - by Submitted on May 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneI get a lot of correspondence from wives lamenting a husband's distance, coldness, and aloofness. Some of these come from wives who are already separated and others come from wives who are still married, but who suspect that their spouse may be contemplating a break or separation. These wives ...
Views: 495 - My Husband Says That He Feels Neglected And That I Never Listen To Him So He Isn't Sure About Our Marriage - by Submitted on May 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneIt is difficult to listen to your spouse complain about a flaw that he sees within you. This is especially true if you disagree about the severity of the flaw and have trouble controlling it. Most of the time, this is a reoccurring frustration. However, sometimes this issue escalates to the ...
Views: 604 - I Don't Feel Intimate In My Marriage. I No Longer Feel A Connection. What Can I Do? - by Submitted on May 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneI recently received correspondence from a wife who told me that she was afraid that she losing feelings of love for her husband. She specifically said that she no longer felt "connected" or "intimate" with him and she suspected that he felt the same way. They weren't being ugly to one another or ...
Views: 506 - My Husband Doesn't Say "I Love You Back." Does He Love Me At All? - by Submitted on May 08, 2020 from Leslie CaneOne of the questions I am often asked is, "How do I know if my husband still loves me? Because he never tells me that he loves me anymore. Sometimes, when I tell him that I love him, he changes the subject or doesn't reply. He never shows me affection." While I can't know your specific ...
Views: 686 - How Can I Make My Husband Understand My Feelings? These Tips Might Help - by Submitted on May 08, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from wives who feel as if they may as well be speaking a foreign language to their husbands because he doesn't seem to understand what they are saying, especially when it comes to their feelings. It's often a struggle to make their husband listen and understand, especially when ...
Views: 678 - My Husband Feels That Our Marriage is Not Workable - Tips and Advice That May Help When Your Spouse Feels Your Marriage Is Broken - by Submitted on May 08, 2020 from Leslie CaneThe other day, I received an email from a wife who said that no matter what she says or does, she can not convince her husband that their marriage can be made better or can be saved. She said in part: "I just can't get my husband to understand and believe that if we were both committed to doing ...
Views: 523 - How To Prepare For A Separation: 5 Things To Consider Or Think About Before You Begin A Martial Separation. - by Submitted on May 08, 2020 from Leslie CaneI suspect that many people reading this article are terrified. They're frightened because a trial or marital separation is in their near future and they are worried that is going to make things worse rather than better. They're concerned that the marital separation is going to set them on the ...
Views: 573 - I Don't Care Enough About My Husband Or My Marriage Anymore. Is This A Phase? What To Consider Before You Think About Leaving. - by Submitted on May 07, 2020 from Leslie CaneI believe that most of us like to think that the deterioration of our marriage would be swift and noticeable. We like to think that it would be an obvious change that we would not only notice, but to which we would quickly react. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Much of the time, the ...
Views: 579 - I'm Bored With My Marriage And My Husband. What Can You Do When You're Tired Of Your Spouse? - by Submitted on May 07, 2020 from Leslie CaneI wish I could tell you that the vast majority of correspondence that I get are from people who are perfectly happy with their marriage and are incredibly content with their spouse. This isn't the case, though. Most of the time, I hear from people who feel as if their marriage, or their feelings ...
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