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Articles from Leslie Cane | Selfgrowth.com
- Mixed Messages During The Separation Or Divorce: He Says He Wants To Get Back Together In Front Of The Kids, But He Doesn't Act On It - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany wives have separated husbands who are saying one thing in front of the kids, but are then saying different things behind closed doors. Many times, the husband will put on a happy face or paint a positive picture about getting back together when the children are around. But, when the ...
Views: 579 - My Depressed Husband Feels Nothing, Doesn't Love Me Anymore, and Wants a Divorce. It's Almost Like He Blames Me For His Depression. - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes get emails from wives whose husbands are dealing with some form of depression. The descriptions given run the gauntlet from clinical depression to a chemical imbalance, to bipolar disorder, to manic depressive disorder. And, in today's very tough economic environment, folks are ...
Views: 566 - My Husband Says I'm Too Needy And He's Not Responsible For My Happiness. What Does That Mean For My Marriage? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneWhen you are struggling in your marriage, it is perfectly natural to want to analyze everything that your spouse is saying. After all, you know that you are on shaky ground, but you just don't know how bad things are or how bad things are going to get. So, you listen carefully to your spouse and ...
Views: 872 - My Husband Admitted He's No Longer Attracted To Me. What Now? Know That Attraction Isn't Always About Looks - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2020 from Leslie CaneRecently, I heard from a wife who was devastated. Her husband had sat her down and very matter of factly told her that he no longer found her attractive. He told her that this was a big problem because he felt that he needed to be physically attracted in order to remain invested in the marriage. ...
Views: 585 - My Husband Agreed To Try To Make Our Marriage Work Even Though He's Not In Love With Me - by Submitted on Apr 19, 2020 from Leslie CaneSometimes, I hear from women who are deeply conflicted about their troubled marriage. At this time, their greatest wish is to convince their husband to try to make their marriage work. Usually, it's become crystal clear that the marriage is crumbling. And, because the wife is still invested in ...
Views: 600 - My Husband Always Leaves When We Fight. He Has Left Me Multiple Times. Should I Just Give Up And Divorce Him? - by Submitted on May 05, 2020 from Leslie CaneWhen you are newly separated, things can feel so dire. There is a lot of shock and also a great sense of urgency. But what happens if you have been through a separation multiple times? What if your spouse makes a habit of leaving you at the first sign of a fight? Well, then the shock can ...
Views: 595 - My Husband Always Turns Things Around On Me: He Twists My Words When I Bring Up Our Problems, Causing A Huge Fight - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2020 from Leslie CaneIt's tricky when you know that your marriage is potentially in trouble, but you can't talk to your spouse about the same. You aren't wanting to bring up your issues to cause problems or to end your marriage. You want to bring up your issues so that you can save your marriage. But your spouse ...
Views: 927 - My Husband And I Don't Talk Anymore. What Does This Mean? What Can I Do About It? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneI strongly believe that one early indication that your marriage might be in trouble is the fact that you and your spouse rarely talk anymore. This was one warning sign that I missed, assuming that my husband and I had just hit a "comfortable phase" where we were mostly just reading one another's ...
Views: 630 - My Husband And I Never Have Fun Anymore: He Says I'm No Fun And Boring So He Wants A Separation - by Submitted on May 06, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from people who are facing a separation and who don't necessarily agree with the reasoning that their spouse is offering up. And even if they do see some validity to their reasoning, they often just don't how to change who or what they already are. Here's just one example. I ...
Views: 537 - My Husband Blames All Of Our Problems On Me. Why Is Everything Wrong In Our Marriage My Fault? - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who feel constantly blamed by their husbands. Many of them will admit that the issues where the husband places the blame DO exist. They also admit that these problems harm their marriage. Unfortunately, though, the husband refuses to see his part in any of these ...
Views: 624 - My Husband Claims He Wants To Reconcile, But I'm Scared He's Just Playing Games To Buy Some Time. - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2020 from Leslie CaneMost of the wives who write to or reach out to me are trying very hard to get their separated husband to come home. Many fantasize about this for some time. So when it finally happens and their husband indicates that he would be open to a reconciliation, you would think that they would be ...
Views: 493 - My Husband Completely Neglects Me. I Know That I'm Losing My Husband - What Can I Do To Save My Marriage? - by Submitted on May 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneI recently heard from a wife who told me that she could literally feel her husband slipping away from her. She said in part: "I know that I'm losing him. I can feel it. He just doesn't seem all that interested in me or the marriage anymore. I feel like any day now, he's going to tell me that he ...
Views: 1309 - My Husband Doesn't Believe We Were Ever Really In Love With Each Other: Apparently, He's Never Loved Me And Wants To Separate. - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who are struggling with the reasoning that their husband is using for pursuing distance, a break, or a marital separation. Sometimes, the husband will try to tell the wife that the feelings are no longer there, if they were ever there in the first place. This can be ...
Views: 509 - My Husband Doesn't Care That Our Marriage Is Falling Apart. Can It Still Work If I'm Trying To Save It And My Husband Is Not? - by Submitted on Apr 29, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people who have a strong sense that their marriage is potentially in trouble. They can not help but notice that something has changed. Their spouse may be distant or not affectionate. It might seem as if there is nothing to really talk about anymore. There can be awkward ...
Views: 444 - My Husband Doesn't Help Out Around The House. Does This Mean That He Doesn't Love Me Or Care About Our Marriage Anymore? - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2020 from Leslie CaneThere are certain behaviors that wives start to notice when they suspect that their husband has begun to check out of their marriage. One example is when he is no longer interested in making sure that the home runs smoothly. Perhaps he used to take an interest in household maintenance (even if ...
Views: 458 - My Husband Doesn't Love Me Any Longer But I Still Love Him. Can I Make Him Fall Back In Love With Me? - by Submitted on May 12, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from wives whose husbands have told them that he no longer loves them. They often don't want to accept this and some doubt if it's even true. These women want to know if they have to accept this or if there is anything at all that they can do. I often hear comments like: "my ...
Views: 1412 - My Husband Doesn't Meet My Emotional Needs And Doesn't Care If I'm Lonely: Tips To Inspire Him To Give You More Attention - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who feel as if they've become more of an individual than a couple. They feel like their relationship with their husband has become somewhat distant and, unfortunately, this was not their choice. There can be a loss of connection and that can invoke a feeling of deep ...
Views: 852 - My Husband Doesn't Say "I Love You Back." Does He Love Me At All? - by Submitted on May 08, 2020 from Leslie CaneOne of the questions I am often asked is, "How do I know if my husband still loves me? Because he never tells me that he loves me anymore. Sometimes, when I tell him that I love him, he changes the subject or doesn't reply. He never shows me affection." While I can't know your specific ...
Views: 721 - My Husband Feels Like A Stranger To Me. What To Do When You Don't Know Who Your Husband is Anymore. - by Submitted on May 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneI recently received correspondence from a wife who was feeling increasingly distant from her husband. Over the past few years, she had noticed some changes in him. And, these were changes that she didn't like all that much. She told me that her husband used to be easy going and laid back. Today, ...
Views: 730 - My Husband Feels That Our Marriage is Not Workable - Tips and Advice That May Help When Your Spouse Feels Your Marriage Is Broken - by Submitted on May 08, 2020 from Leslie CaneThe other day, I received an email from a wife who said that no matter what she says or does, she can not convince her husband that their marriage can be made better or can be saved. She said in part: "I just can't get my husband to understand and believe that if we were both committed to doing ...
Views: 552 - My Husband Feels Trapped In Our Marriage. He Says He's Miserable. How Am I Supposed To Take This? - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2020 from Leslie CaneSometimes, you have a feeling that your marriage is deteriorating, but you hope that perhaps you are making things worse than they are. That is until your spouse says something that leaves you with no doubt that you were right. Sometimes your spouse uses extremely hurtful adjectives that can ...
Views: 898 - My Husband Filed For A Divorce In The Heat Of The Moment. He Is Furious With Me. Could He Possibly Calm Down And Still Care? - by Submitted on Apr 29, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from folks who have been filed with divorce papers from a spouse who acted in the heat of the moment. Often, one spouse has done something to make the other so mad that they feel compelled to do something very dramatic in order to make a statement. Sometimes, this statement ...
Views: 638 - My Husband Filed For Divorce Suddenly But I Don't Want It And Am Running Out Of Time. What Can I Do?: Here Are Some Tactics To Try. - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from women whose husbands are hinting that they want or intend to file for a divorce. Sometimes, though, there is a more dire situation. I hear from wives whose husbands have just filed the paperwork to set the divorce in motion. Such was the case yesterday. I heard from a wife in ...
Views: 605 - My Husband Gets Angry When I Try To Talk To Him About Our Trial Separation: I Just Want To Know How It Would Work And He's Evasive. Why? - by Submitted on May 04, 2020 from Leslie CaneWhen your spouse starts talking about a trial separation, it is perfectly natural, (and understandable,) to want as many details as you can possibly get. After all, it is pretty obvious that your life is going to change dramatically. Because of that, you want specific details, so that you can ...
Views: 955 - My Husband Has Checked Out Of Our Marriage: Can Our Marriage Be Saved If the Husband Wants Out? Yes, Here's How. - by Submitted on Apr 29, 2020 from Leslie CaneI get a lot of emails from women who feel like they are fighting a losing battle. For whatever reason, their husband has indicated that he wants out. Or, he hasn't spoken but it's obvious that he has completely checked out. Of course, the wives don't want a divorce, but the harder they try to ...
Views: 415 - My Husband Has Emotionally Checked Out And Is Cold And Distant. How Can I Make Him Love Me Again When He's Emotionally Detached? - by Submitted on May 06, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany of the women who visit my blog can literally feel their husband or their boyfriend slipping away from them. The distance is a feeling that has become so real that you can almost touch it. I often hear things like "our relationship today is just so different. He's cold, indifferent, and ...
Views: 454 - My Husband Hasn't Talked About The Divorce In Months. Does This Mean I'm In The Clear? - by Submitted on Apr 13, 2020 from Leslie CaneI speak with wives who know that their husband wants a divorce because he has either told them of his intentions directly or filed divorce papers. Sometimes though, the panic that they feel about this (especially when they don't want a divorce) gets a reprieve because the husband one day just ...
Views: 535 - My Husband Hates His Life. How Do I Help Support Him When He Is This Confused And Dissatisfied? - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people who are dealing with a spouse who has become cold, distant, and "confused." People are sometimes quick to label this as a mid-life crisis, but it can happen at any point in a person's life. Typically what you will see is that your spouse will suddenly no longer feel ...
Views: 478 - My Husband Hurts My Feelings All Of The Time. I'm Not Sure It's Good For Me To Be Married To Someone Who Is So Insensitive - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2020 from Leslie CaneI rarely get correspondence from wives telling me that their husband is too sweet, too sensitive, or too concerned about their feelings. Sure, I get the occasional complaint that a husband is too involved in the wife's life, but this is rare. More often, I hear from wives who complain that ...
Views: 551 - My Husband Ignores Me And Watches TV. He Doesn't Leave Me, But He Doesn't Want To Stay Either - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2020 from Leslie CaneIf you were to ask a separated wife who was living without her husband if she wanted him back even if he didn't 100% want to be there, many separated wives would say that yes, she would want him back however she could get him. However, if you are a wife who knows that your husband doesn't want ...
Views: 563 - My Husband Is Always Mad At Me. He Constantly Says He Doesn't Love Me Out Of Anger. What Does This Mean For Our Marriage? - by Submitted on May 12, 2020 from Leslie CaneSome wives occasionally feel unloved by their husbands. And, much of the time, they don't feel this way because of the way that their husband acts. They feel this way because of the words that he carelessly says when he becomes angry. Many times, the husband's go-to words when he particularly ...
Views: 1494 - My Husband Is Always Making Negative, Nasty Comments Toward Me. Sometimes, He Is Hurtful, Insensitive, And Mean - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear wives recount mean, nasty, and negative things that their husbands have said. Examples are things like: "you are so selfish," Or "none of my friends' wives make the demands that you do," Or "it's sad that I don't even look forward to coming home after work because I know that you ...
Views: 580 - My Husband Is An Unhappy Person. No Matter What I Do, He Won't Stop Complaining About Our Marriage. Tips That Might Help - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2020 from Leslie CaneIt can be very hurtful and frustrating when your spouse constantly complains about a certain level of unhappiness despite improvements that you've tried to make. You might think that you've addressed his concerns, only to turn around and find that he is sullen and unhappy again. It can begin ...
Views: 516 - My Husband Is Hinting That It's Over Between Us. I Think My Marriage Is Over. What Do I Do Now? - by Submitted on May 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneI know first hand that it is an absolutely horrible, terrifying feeling when you begin to feel in the bottom of your gut that perhaps your marriage is over. This is made even worse if the state of your marriage has brought about anxiety and unhappiness. You already feel bad enough. But when you ...
Views: 727 - My Husband Is Moody, Distracted, And Distant. Is A Change In Behavior Always Something To Worry About? Because My Spouse Is Acting Weird. - by Submitted on May 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneA common worry that many wives have is whether or not they should be worried when their husband shows "weird" or "unusual" behavior. The first inclination of many is to just ask him about this. Unfortunately, though, many husbands do not give you a completely straight answer. Many will tell ...
Views: 2290 - My Husband Is Never Satisfied With Me. I'm Never Enough. How Do I Make Him Want What He Has? - by Submitted on May 06, 2020 from Leslie CaneIn a perfect world, your spouse would be your biggest cheerleader. He is the one who should lift you up and defend you against all others. When you're feeling bad about yourself or have doubts, he is the one who should tell you that you are more than fine just the way you are - or at the very ...
Views: 565 - My Husband Is Not Affectionate And Is Cold. I Feel Sexually Inadequate. Why Is It So Hard For Him? What Does It Mean? - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2020 from Leslie CaneAs women, we are often naturally affectionate. It is often not any effort for us to touch someone's arm, offer a hug, or tell those who we love just how great we think they are. In fact, many of us feel that this is at least one reason why we were put on this earth - to enhance the lives of ...
Views: 517 - My Husband Is Not Interested In Me Anymore. Does A Husband's Distance Mean He No Longer Loves You? - by Submitted on May 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneI get a lot of correspondence from wives lamenting a husband's distance, coldness, and aloofness. Some of these come from wives who are already separated and others come from wives who are still married, but who suspect that their spouse may be contemplating a break or separation. These wives ...
Views: 529 - My Husband is Saying He Wants a Divorce - Does it Mean the End of the Marriage? - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often receive comments and emails from wives who tell me that their husband is claiming that he wants a divorce, and the wives want to know if this means the end of the marriage. The answer to this question is going to greatly depend upon the circumstances around it, but I believe that until ...
Views: 450 - My Husband Is Selfish And Uncaring. It's All About Him. I Want To Write Him A Letter And Tell Him So. - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from folks who are so angry at their spouse that they are not even sure that they can address the problem face-to-face. Many are looking for pointers as to how to write a letter to get their point across because they do not trust themselves to state this verbally. They worry ...
Views: 803 - My Husband Is So Needy And Demands Constant Attention. He Says That I Don't Show That I Care. I Resent His Neediness - by Submitted on May 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneIt would be wonderful if we were always on the same page with our marriage. It would be nice if we would automatically know what our spouse needs and then be able to magically provide it, but this rarely happens. One reason for this is that people don't always indicate what they need or they ...
Views: 2080 - My Husband Is So Stressed Out And Now He Wants To Walk Out On Me. How Do I Help Him Handle The Stress So We Can Save Our Marriage? - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people who are sure that the stressful situation in their lives is directly behind their marital problems, their separation, or their upcoming divorce. They will tell you that they had a wonderful marriage before the event reared its ugly head. And they don't know how to ...
Views: 554 - My Husband Is Trying To Sort Out His Feelings To Decide If He's Going To Stay With Me. How Am I Supposed To Act While He's Thinking About It? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who are extremely worried because their husband has made it very clear that he isn't sure that he's completely happy with the marriage. Often, the husband will begin to hint that he needs time to think or to sort out his feelings. As often, the wife will hover or ...
Views: 578 - My Husband Is Unhappy With Family Life: He No Longer Wants The Responsibility Of A Wife, Marriage, And Family - by Submitted on May 06, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who honestly believe that they are losing their husbands due to a situation that is very difficult to change. Many people believe that if you know why your spouse isn't happy, then the logical thing to do would be to fix the problem causing the unhappiness and then to ...
Views: 399 - My Husband Is Very Distant And Emotionally Detached Lately. I Think He Longer Loves Me: Tips To Get Him Invested Again - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often get emails from wives who ask me to suggest ways to get their husband's love back in their marriage. Usually, with a bit of prompting, I can get them to tell me that they really fear their husbands are no longer "in love" with them. This is usually just a feeling or suspicion that they ...
Views: 443 - My Husband Isn't A Happy Family Man Anymore. He's Lost Interest In Me, Our Kids, And In Home Life - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who are not yet separated, but who worry that a separation may occur in the future. Many of these wives can feel their husbands' interest and affection slipping away. One of them might say something like this, "my husband and I actually became closer when we became ...
Views: 842 - My Husband Left And Says He Doesn't Want To Be With Me Anymore: Reading Between The Lines To Understand What This Really Means - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2020 from Leslie CaneI received an email from a wife who told me that she was beside herself because her husband had just told her that "he didn't want to be with me anymore." I had to ask if this meant he didn't want to be with her sexually, didn't want to be with her as her husband, or just didn't want to be in ...
Views: 627 - My Husband Lies All The Time. I Feel Like I Can't Trust Him And This Is Hurting Our Marriage - by Submitted on Apr 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany wives struggle with how to address their husband's lies. Sometimes, these lies have to do with very important things like money, fidelity, and the marriage itself. Other times, the lies themselves aren't about serious or deal-breaking topics, but the fact that he continuously lies to you ...
Views: 564 - My Husband Makes Me Feel Bad About Myself During Our Separation: I'm Obviously Much More Committed Than He Is. It's Lopsided. - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2020 from Leslie CaneWhen you're married but separated, it's very common to constantly evaluate what is going on with your spouse. You want to know what he's thinking, how he's feeling, and what all of this might mean in terms of what he wants moving forward. This can be especially true if you want to save your ...
Views: 438 - My Husband Makes Me Feel Invisible: Sometimes I Want To Leave Him Because He Doesn't Appreciate Me. - by Submitted on Apr 25, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people who feel desperately unappreciated by their spouse. At first, they will sometimes try to tell themselves that they are expecting too much or being too needy. But, with time, when it doesn't ever get any better, it starts to wear on you. And you begin to wonder if ...
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