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Articles from Leslie Cane | Selfgrowth.com
- How To Prepare For A Separation: 5 Things To Consider Or Think About Before You Begin A Martial Separation. - by Submitted on May 08, 2020 from Leslie CaneI suspect that many people reading this article are terrified. They're frightened because a trial or marital separation is in their near future and they are worried that is going to make things worse rather than better. They're concerned that the marital separation is going to set them on the ...
Views: 605 - How To React When You Love Your Husband But He Doesn't Love You Back: Strategies With The Highest Chance Of Success - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often get emails from wives who feel that their husbands either don't love them enough or don't love them at all. I hear comments like "he doesn't love me nearly as much as I love him," or "I love him very much, but he doesn't love me back," or "if only it was enough that I adore him, but he ...
Views: 481 - How To Reconcile With Your Husband After A Separation By Understanding (And Acting On) The Power Of Distance - by Submitted on May 04, 2020 from Leslie CaneIt would be nice if reconciling a marriage was an easy task, with both parties committed and confident that it is possible to work things out. But, this isn't always the case. Most people who visit my site are wives (and sometimes husbands) who are either trying to save the marriage alone, or ...
Views: 460 - How to Reconcile Your Marriage: Tips On Where To Place Your Focus - by Submitted on Apr 15, 2020 from Leslie CaneIf you've found this article, I know that there is one person in your marriage who is at least willing to consider reconciling. This is good news because I am living proof that repairing a marriage only takes one person who wants to, at least initially. This article is based on my personal ...
Views: 433 - How to Reconnect With Your Husband During A Separation Through Gradual, Increasingly Meaningful Conversations - by Submitted on May 05, 2020 from Leslie CaneWhen you are reluctantly separated and want to save your marriage, you often intuitively know that communication is vitally important. Saving your marriage means that you are going to eventually need to overcome what drove you apart in the first place and then re-create the intimacy that will ...
Views: 1057 - How To Save A Marriage When The Trust Is Gone. Rebuilding The Trust In A Troubled Or Separated Marriage - by Submitted on May 05, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people who are very clear (and remorseful) about the fact that the big contributing factor to them separating from their spouse is a lack of trust. Often, one spouse has done something unfortunate and significant enough for the other to lose trust in them, which has led to ...
Views: 421 - How To Survive An Unloving Marriage: Strategies That Might Help Even If Your Spouse Is Sarcastic, Critical, And Nasty - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2020 from Leslie CaneI heard from a wife who was seemingly at the end of her rope. She described her marriage as "unloving" and said that very recently, there had begun to be a lot of tension in their home. When the affection started to wane, she didn't worry too much about it because she knew that it could be ...
Views: 496 - How To Talk To My Husband About My Feelings? Why Does He Refuse To Understand Me Or Care? He Won't Make Any Attempt Whatsoever - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2020 from Leslie CaneThe vast majority of people that I hear from do not feel understood or heard by their spouse. I find that many folks do not comprehend just how serious of a problem this might be. Sure, no one is perfect at communicating or at reading someone else's clues. And sure, all marriages can ...
Views: 453 - How To Talk To Your Husband To Save Your Marriage: Is There Anything That You Do Or Say To Change His Mind? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneNot only is it very painful when your spouse starts talking about being unhappy in your marriage, but it's also panic-inducing. We often begin to picture the worst-case scenario almost immediately and some of us have an almost instant need to attempt to change his mind. To demonstrate, I ...
Views: 1018 - Husband Says He Wants a Trial Separation, But You Don't? These Tips Might Help. - by Submitted on Apr 15, 2020 from Leslie CaneI'm often contacted by panicked wives who tell me that their husband is pushing for a trial separation and they want to know how to change his mind before he walks out the door. Their thinking is that, once their husband has actually left, it's going to be harder to get him to come back than it ...
Views: 481 - Husband Wants Out of the Marriage? Advice For Anxious Wives On How To React When He Suddenly Wants Space, A Break, Separation, Or Divorce. - by Submitted on Apr 19, 2020 from Leslie CaneProbably one of the most common requests or emails that I get is a request for advice when a husband "wants out" of the marriage. Now, these emails run the gauntlet. Sometimes, the husband hasn't really said anything, but has hinted around, or is acting in such a way that the wife has a pretty ...
Views: 415 - I Am Unwanted In My Marriage. My Husband Doesn't Want Me Anymore - Tips and Advice That Might Help - by Submitted on May 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneI very often get emails from wives who confide that their husband doesn't want them anymore. This can be a loaded phrase. Sometimes, what the wife means is that the husband no longer seems to be attracted to them physically. Other times, the wife means that the husband no longer wants to be ...
Views: 704 - I Don't Care Enough About My Husband Or My Marriage Anymore. Is This A Phase? What To Consider Before You Think About Leaving. - by Submitted on May 07, 2020 from Leslie CaneI believe that most of us like to think that the deterioration of our marriage would be swift and noticeable. We like to think that it would be an obvious change that we would not only notice, but to which we would quickly react. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Much of the time, the ...
Views: 614 - I Don't Feel Intimate In My Marriage. I No Longer Feel A Connection. What Can I Do? - by Submitted on May 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneI recently received correspondence from a wife who told me that she was afraid that she losing feelings of love for her husband. She specifically said that she no longer felt "connected" or "intimate" with him and she suspected that he felt the same way. They weren't being ugly to one another or ...
Views: 537 - I Don't Feel Loved By My Husband. I Feel Ignored And Unimportant. How Do I Tell Him And Explain This So He Will Listen? - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2020 from Leslie CaneNo one wants to look for trouble in their marriage where none exists. I've seen perfectly good marriages struggle greatly because one spouse decided to over-analyze and complain about even the smallest, most benign issues. So it can be very important to separate the big issues from the little ...
Views: 554 - I Don't Know If I'm Ready To End My Marriage: Tips And Advice That Might Help - by Submitted on Apr 13, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people who just aren't sure if they are truly ready to walk away from their spouse and their marriage. Sometimes, they themselves are the ones who initiated the separation, divorce, or thoughts of giving up. Other times, they are responding to (and are at the mercy of) a ...
Views: 484 - I Don't Like My Spouse Anymore. His Personality Annoys Me. What Does This Mean For My Marriage? - by Submitted on May 13, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany people are clear on the fact that, no matter what happens, they are committed to still loving their spouse. This, they figure, is the meaning of unconditional love. You love someone even when they aren't at their most lovable and even when it's not always easy for you. After all, love is a ...
Views: 800 - I Don't Think I Love My Spouse Anymore. I Don't Feel Romantic Toward Him And Feel Numb When He Says 'I Love You.' Does This Mean My Marriage Is Over? - by Submitted on May 07, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people who are alarmed to find that they no longer have any strong feelings for their spouse. Often, they wish that they did still have these feelings because that would make life a lot easier for themselves or for their families. But, when they are being honest, they have ...
Views: 619 - I Don't Understand What My Separated Spouse Wants From Me. We Aren't On The Same Page. - by Submitted on May 13, 2020 from Leslie CaneOne of the most common topics that I get asked about is how to read or interpret "mixed signals" from a separated spouse. Even when you're trying very hard to be open and to "go with the flow" as far as your separated spouse is concerned, it can be difficult when you both get frustrated with the ...
Views: 904 - I Don't Want To Give Up But My Husband Says Our Marriage Isn't Working: How To Work Around This - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2020 from Leslie CaneI recently heard from a wife whose husband had been constantly telling her that their marriage "just wasn't working" for him anymore and that he was thinking about exploring other options. Needless to say, this wasn't what she wanted to hear. He'd been talking about separating, staying with ...
Views: 422 - I Feel Like A Stranger In My Marriage. My Spouse Doesn't Really Know Me. He Doesn't See My True Self - by Submitted on May 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often say that one of the things people most want in a romantic partner is to feel seen and understood. What I mean by this is that if a person can make us feel as if they see what we are truly about and love us unconditionally anyway, that's a feeling of acceptance that most of us have been ...
Views: 619 - I Feel Like My Husband Doesn't Care About Me Anymore. Does My Marriage Even Stand a Chance? - by Submitted on May 12, 2020 from Leslie CaneI recently heard from a woman who outlined pretty dreadful living conditions with her husband. She described a spouse who had pretty apathetic and cold. From the way that the wife described the situation, it seemed as if he either treated her with annoyance or pretended that she didn't exist. ...
Views: 710 - I Filed For Divorce And Now I Regret It. I Just Want My Husband Back. - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2020 from Leslie CaneThe other day, I got an email from a wife who was filled with regret. To make a very long story short, she and her husband had been having problems for quite some time. They still loved each other, she thought, but the relationship had evolved into something that neither of them recognized any ...
Views: 2059 - I Just Don't Feel That My Husband Loves Me - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2020 from Leslie CaneI recently heard from a wife who felt strongly that her husband no longer loved her. For the past couple of years, she had noticed a shift in her marriage. He no longer lit up when he looked at her. He no longer listened intently when she talked. He no longer spontaneously touched her or showed ...
Views: 492 - I Left My Husband But It Was A Mistake. I Miss Him And Feel Guilty. Should I Go Back To Try To Save My Family? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneFamily can be a huge contributing factor in whether you attempt to save your marriage or not. Many people confess to me that were it not for their children, the decision of whether or not to end their marriage would probably be a lot easier. Children can even factor into the equation once the ...
Views: 471 - I Lied To My Husband And Now He Wants A Divorce: How To Save Your Marriage When You've Lied To Your Husband - by Submitted on May 04, 2020 from Leslie CaneI recently heard from a wife who told me that her husband had firmly told her that he was "sick of" her lies and was considering a divorce. The wife had to admit that the husband was extremely justified in his frustration. In truth, the wife had lied to him early in their relationship. And, to ...
Views: 524 - I No Longer Feel Loved By My Husband. What Do I Do? Tips That May Help. - by Submitted on May 12, 2020 from Leslie CaneI get a lot of correspondence from wives who worry that their husbands are no longer are "in love" with them. These same wives are usually no longer receiving the affection or the affirmations that make someone in a marriage feel loved. These women will often tell me things like "it's almost as ...
Views: 804 - I Think A Midlife Crisis Made My Spouse Leave. How Do I Know If I'm Right? Look For These Signs. - by Submitted on May 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany of the wives who read my articles believe that at least part of the motivation behind their separation is their husband's midlife crisis. However, there is always the worry that the midlife crisis has become a catch-all for most unhappy husbands. Nonetheless, some wives rush to put their ...
Views: 1297 - I Think My Husband Hates Me: He Says He Doesn't Like Anything About Me. How Do You Respond To A Hateful Statement Like This? - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who have recently been stung by something horribly hurtful that their husband has said. Sometimes, this happens during an argument or in the heat of the moment. Other times, their husband appears to be only attempting to be honest and not intending to hurt his wife. ...
Views: 621 - I Thought We Were Doing Better After My Husband Moved Out. But He Doesn't Know If He Wants To Stay With Me For The Rest Of His Life - by Submitted on May 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneOn the day of your marriage, you envision growing old with that man standing at the altar with you. The idea is that the two of you will navigate life's good days and bad days together. On this day, virtually none of us envision that this ideal is not actually going to happen. That's why it ...
Views: 2130 - I Want Advice on Saving My Marriage With My Husband: Why It's The Small, Genuine, Collaborative Changes That Make All The Difference - by Submitted on Apr 19, 2020 from Leslie CaneA couple of days ago, I received an email from a wife who had been married for well over a decade. She shared with me that, over the last couple of years, she has felt her husband slipping away. She told me that her husband " spends less time at home, doesn't show me nearly as much affection, ...
Views: 472 - I Want My Husband Even More Now That He's Left Me. Is This Normal? - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2020 from Leslie CaneI recently heard from a wife who wasn't sure why she felt the way that she did. Her husband of five years had decided that he wasn't happy being married and he felt that he should explore life on his own to see if it would make him happier. He didn't give the wife much warning about this. He ...
Views: 466 - I Want To Make My Marriage Work, But I'm Not Sure If It's Possible Anymore. - by Submitted on Apr 10, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany wives who contact me are going through some serious turmoil within their marriage. Some are just beginning a separation and some have even been served with divorce papers. Others just know that their marriage is in serious trouble. Despite all of the drama going on their lives, many of ...
Views: 507 - I Want to Save My Marriage But My Husband Doesn't: How To Get Your Husband To Drop His Defenses And Work With You - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2020 from Leslie CaneThe majority of wives who visit this blog desperately want to save their marriages but feel that they are the only ones who want to. So often, I get emails that go something like: "Help! I want to save my marriage, but my husband doesn't. How can I prevent a divorce when I'm the only one who ...
Views: 478 - I Want To Save My Marriage, But I Think My Husband Is Seeing Someone Else While We're Separated. - by Submitted on Apr 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from people (usually wives) who would very much like to save their marriage while they are separated, but they wonder if this will be possible because they suspect (or know for sure) that their husband is seeing someone else. It's hard enough to save your marriage together as a ...
Views: 471 - I Want To Save My Marriage, But It's Not Working. What Am I Doing Wrong? - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people who aren't sure how much more work they can put into their marriage. Often, they feel as if they have been working for a long and difficult time, although they have little to show for it. And many times, they are disappointed that they are not seeing any real change ...
Views: 501 - I Wasn't A Good Wife In The Past, But I've Changed. How Can I Get My Husband Back? - by Submitted on Apr 10, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany of the wives who contact me about finding a way to save their marriages realize that they had some part in the marital collapse. I often hear comments like: "we grew apart," or "we didn't make an effort to stay connected." Another example is "things just changed between us and the spark ...
Views: 588 - I'd Do Anything To Get My Husband To Stay. What Can I Do? - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who are desperate for some sort of plan to make their husbands stay with them. Often, the husband has suggested a break, separation, or divorce. This is usually the last thing that the wives who write to me want. A wife might say, in part: "I would do absolutely ...
Views: 451 - I'm Absolutely Miserable Since My Husband Left Me For A Trial Separation. Tips That Might Help - by Submitted on May 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany wives are having a very difficult time coping after their husband has left them to pursue a trial separation. They often aren't sure how to constructively fill their time. And they can find themselves always thinking about and dwelling on their husband and on their marriage. Time seems ...
Views: 670 - I'm Afraid Our Marital Separation Is Failing. I Worry I'll Become A Bitter, Divorced Woman Who Is All Alone - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2020 from Leslie CaneFear is probably the most common emotion that separated wives experience, at least wives who are still invested in their marriages. It's not hard to understand why. Most of us believe that we are at risk of losing what we care most about - the man we love, potentially the father of our children, ...
Views: 447 - I'm Bored With My Marriage And My Husband. What Can You Do When You're Tired Of Your Spouse? - by Submitted on May 07, 2020 from Leslie CaneI wish I could tell you that the vast majority of correspondence that I get are from people who are perfectly happy with their marriage and are incredibly content with their spouse. This isn't the case, though. Most of the time, I hear from people who feel as if their marriage, or their feelings ...
Views: 613 - I'm Not Sure If I Can Tolerate My Husband Or Marriage Anymore. Should I Try To Save It Or Just Leave? Which Would Be Easier Or Healthier? - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from folks who know that they are at a crossroads in their marriages. They are well aware that neither themselves nor their spouse is happy. They look around and they perceive that their marriage is "less than" that of friends, family members, or associates. So they start to ...
Views: 425 - I'm Ready To Be The Wife My Husband Deserves And Work Harder To Save My Marriage. My Husband Doesn't Care. He Thinks It's Too Late. - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2020 from Leslie CaneSometimes, you are fully aware that it is going to take a whole lot of work to save your marriage and you take responsibility for that. You are prepared for that. And you fully intend to follow through with any promises that you have made to your spouse. Perhaps you have gotten to a point ...
Views: 628 - In A Loveless, Unhappy Marriage But Staying Married For the Sake of the Children? Should You Stay Together Only For the Kids? - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2020 from Leslie CaneI get a lot of correspondence from spouses (who are usually wives) that admit to me that they are "only staying married for the sake of the children." These wives often admit that they are quite unhappy and they worry that their lack of passion for life is going to influence or negatively affect ...
Views: 483 - Is It Just A Cop-Out When Your Husband Says He Loves You But Is Not "In Love" With You? - by Submitted on Apr 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from wives who have been fed the "I love you but I'm not in love with you" line that many husbands will give when they aren't sure if they want to be married anymore. This is a very common topic that comes up time and time again. Many of the wives have trouble understanding what ...
Views: 473 - Is It My Job To Make My Husband Happy? Am I Responsible For It? Is It My Fault If He's Unhappy? - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2020 from Leslie CaneSo often, I hear from people who tell me that either their spouse is blatantly telling them that he just isn't happy or his actions have made this so obvious that it is just impossible to ignore. Many of these folks feel that this is a little unfair because not everything that their spouse is ...
Views: 507 - Is It Normal To Second Guess Yourself Or Have Second Thoughts About Separating? I Thought I Wanted The Separation, But Now I Realize I Made A Mistake And Love My Spouse - by Submitted on May 07, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from spouses who, during a separation or break that they themselves had asked for, had the sudden realization as to what a huge mistake they made. I often hear comments like "I'm the one who pushed for the separation. I really thought I'd fallen out of love with my spouse. But, ...
Views: 435 - Is My Marriage Worth Saving Quiz: True Or False Questions To Help You Decide - by Submitted on Apr 16, 2020 from Leslie CaneI hear from a lot of folks who are trying to decide if their marriage is worth saving. They often want to tell me the details of their marriage and then get my opinion as to whether they should fight for their marriage or just give in and call it quits. The thing is, I never feel that I'm really ...
Views: 556 - It's Taking Too Long To Reconcile While Separated. And He's Seeing Someone Else. When Is It Just Time To Give Up And Realize That Your Marriage Is Better Off Being Over? - by Submitted on May 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from folks who are starting to feel very discouraged because their separation has gone on for so long or things have been so volatile that it is starting to feel as if there is no hope. Sometimes, people recount situations where they feel disrespected and mistreated by their ...
Views: 771 - Life After The Separation. Is It Like A Divorce? What Happens With Loneliness, The Kids, And Dating. - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people whose spouse is insisting on a marital separation. The folks reaching out are understandably very reluctant about the separation because they don't know what to expect. Most people haven't been separated before, so they can't anticipate what their life might look ...
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