Rejection sucks. There’s no other way to say it. When he doesn’t show interest, doesn’t show up, or breaks it off after a relationship develops; it’s ugly and icky. No doubt about it.
Thing is: rejection doesn’t have to strike a mortal blow.
I know so many women who avoid connecting with ... Views: 4903
Are you a single woman over 40 who is smart, independent and thinking there are no good men out there? I hope you don’t mind my saying this: you are wrong.
As a dating and relationship coach – and a woman who was a first‑time bride at 47 – I’m quite aware of what we tell ourselves:
Men ... Views: 4464
I've been told that I'm scary. That's what my client, Liz, told me today. She says that several men have said she's intimidating and "too much for them."
I was told that when I was single and dating. My response was: that's who I am—and if you can't take it, I don't want you! (I probably ... Views: 4307
“Intuition is truly a feminine quality, but women should not mistake rash conclusions for this gift.”~Minna Antrim
The other day I was listening to my friend tell me about her 25 minute “date” with this guy “who had nothing going for him.” As she’s talking I’m thinking: WTF?! So I ask her ... Views: 4302
Last week a smart, thoughtful woman left a comment on my post about Dating the Somewhat Disappearing Man. These are the guys I call “pingers” because they ping you (or contact you) just often enough to make sure you’re there when they need or want you. They keep you attached and interested, and ... Views: 4053
I get asked this question constantly. Women who are dating want to know this; especially women who are divorced and over 40, and haven’t been dating for some time. They also want to know how they can tell if sex is all he wants.
Good questions. The truth is that whether you’re dating at 20, ... Views: 3509
This week I spoke with my client, “Sue,” who recently entered the online dating world. Right off the bat she had scoped out a profile she really liked and emailed him. He seemed interested, attentive and pretty fabulous on paper. The next thing you know…she has a date!
When they met in real ... Views: 3033
Do you walk out of the house each day feeling good about yourself, and ready to run into that one man who is going to rock your world an put that proverbial cherry on your cake?
Check out this guest post by Sybil Henry, The Style Concierge. Sybil joined me Wednesday night for my GGNO Club ... Views: 2962
We all know that dating over 40 can be a bit of a jungle with challenges, surprises and pitfalls. I'm sure you've encountered your share of Pingers, Needy-men and Players as you meet single men. I get it, and you belong to a large, loving sisterhood. But it's not only us gals who have dating ... Views: 2868
Dating can be a real pain in the butt, right? It can be a lot of work that leads to a lot of nothing. I conducted a survey recently and asked women what their biggest challenge was when they date.
The #1 response was: I’m not meeting quality men.
Can you relate??
I hear this from women ... Views: 2743
"If it were a snake, it would 'a bit ya!" That's what Ethel Mertz always said to her husband Fred (Lucy Ricardo's neighbors in I Love Lucy) when he'd wander around looking for his glasses – which were always on top of his (bald) head. Do you remember that?
Well, this is what I could have said ... Views: 2708
If you’re a woman who tends to over think and over analyze (and let’s face it…what woman doesn’t?) I want to advise you when it’s appropriate to do so about men: N-E-V-E-R!
Oh how we love to dwell in conversations with ourselves about all kinds of fascinating things. Is he attracted to me, ... Views: 2676
As a Dating and Relationship Coach for Women, I talk to many women who say they are buddies with many married and attached men; yet they don't get asked out on any dates.
The complaint comes under one of these two categories:
1. She talks to a lot of men and they seem to like her; but none ... Views: 2672
If you're going to be a successful dater (which means you have fun and meet good men), an essential tool is the ability to empathize with the men you meet. Empathy is not feeling sorry for someone. It's being able to put yourself in their shoes and understand their experience.
I believe that ... Views: 2640
"I know why you aren't married: you're just too picky!" Women who are single in their 40s, 50s and beyond hear this a lot. After all, what other reason can there be for why you haven't yet snagged a man?
As a woman who became a first-time bride at 47, I heard this a lot—especially from my ... Views: 2639
Last week was Men’s Health week; and as another nod to the guys, I thought I'd help them by helping you better understand them. (Did you follow that?) In particular, I want to help you better understand the experience men have when they're trying to “date like a grownup.”
If you've read my ... Views: 2620
Newsflash: Women constantly push really good guys right out of their lives without even knowing it. We do it by behaving in ways that, until pointed out by someone else, are a complete mystery.
Finally having this pointed out to me in my early 40s was a huge part of my transition from a ... Views: 2537
You can meet the spectacular, special man who is going to be your life partner using online dating. I met the love of my life on www.match.com, so of course I recommend it to all my friends, coaching clients, in my workshops…really to anyone who will listen!
Here are three things I recommend ... Views: 2394
As if dating and mating wasn’t hard enough, technology has added a variety of new challenges to the art of hooking up. Not only do you have to master the computer crud, you have to figure out how to actually connect with another human being amidst the volume and the anonymity.
Being a ... Views: 2357
I learned something this week that completely rocked my world: when you apply eyeliner, you should start from the inside of your lid, not the outside.
Did you know that? I’m 52 years old, and for my entire life I’ve been doing it wrong. No wonder it was always a struggle! I was never able to ... Views: 2344
Continuing from yesterday, it's important to make yourself memorable when you are dating. There are tons of women out there; you want to be the one he wants to know.
When you follow this advice and get your story out in the right way, the guys who are good matches will take notice. They are ... Views: 2343
Happy Memorial Day weekend! How about a little trivia to start your day?
In 1868, May 30 was designated as a holiday to honor the nation’s Civil War casualties. Now called Memorial Day, it was originally known as Decoration Day. Red poppies are commonly associated with Memorial Day and are ... Views: 2330
Have you heard this quote by Anthony Robbins: “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.” I love this quote.
What does it have to do with dating and your search for love? It may have everything to do with it…especially if you’ve been looking for a meaningful ... Views: 2326
Want to know the number one trick to meeting men online and getting dates? Learn how to write a killer email.
When I was online, I remember how it felt. I’d send an endless number of emails that seemed to go into the pit of Internet rejection hell.
The truth is, there is a lot of ... Views: 2298
Albert Einstein once said:
“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.”
Al was so damn smart! Not only was he the king of quantum physics, he got right to the heart of one of the most troubling challenges in ... Views: 2285
Do All Men Make You Mad? (FemiType #5: The Bitter Woman)
In an effort to help you understand the man side of this midlife dating experience, I’ve introduced you to The Princess, The 18 Year Old, The Scaredy Cat and The Wow-Me Woman: all FemiTypes* that send good men running.
Today I’m going ... Views: 2280
30 minutes. That’s about how long you generally have to “get to know” a man before deciding to have a cup of coffee or date with him. You meet online, or at the local bank, and that’s about it.
But he seems imperfect. He’s clearly missing one of your must-haves. Should you gracefully decline? ... Views: 2273
Rejection can be a very good thing.
Until you find the man who brings you the love and joy you deserve, you should thank the men who reject you. These men are doing you a favor. I think they know – consciously or not – that they won’t be able to give you what you need; and they know it before ... Views: 2233
Dating like a grownup is the quickest path to finally enjoying mutually nurturing relationships with men who are full of respect, adoration and commitment.
If you're going to date like a grownup, developing empathy for men is crucial. Just like all your relationships, when you have the ... Views: 2220
Why do we hold on to the man who isn’t good for us, our feelings of insecurity and being less-than, or our pattern of picking jerks and liars? These are all self-sabotaging behaviors and beliefs, and intellectually we know it. Yet we cling on for dear life, feeling powerless over our unfortunate ... Views: 2219
Do you know that you are special, that you count big time, and that you deserve to think of yourself first when dating and developing a love relationship?
This is such a difficult concept for so many women.
Think of myself first? That’s so selfish! I’ve never done that before…ever! I don’t ... Views: 2212
I can answer this in three words: You’re not memorable.
That’s it.
Whether it’s the hot man you had a nice chat with at the local coffee shop or the guy you had a great first date with, getting him to ask you out can take some skill.
Yep, I said skill.
You’re not 18 anymore, and the ... Views: 2200
If you're a Mom with children still at home, I'm sure you have concerns about how your dating might affect your kids’ lives. Issues such as jealousy and challenges with time-sharing are real. But I’d like you to consider the positives.
Yes, it’s true that "a happy Mother is a good Mother." ... Views: 2189
I've heard the same thing from so many women this week that I had to ask you if this sounds familiar:
"I'm generally a very friendly, confident gal...unless I'm in the company of a single man—especially one I'm attracted to. In that case I turn into mush."
Why is it that when we meet or ... Views: 2186
Let me start today by telling you how magnificent you are. The fact that you are a woman over 40 and reading this tells me that you are all the more spectacular. Really, it does!
One of the reasons finding love over 40 can be the most gratifying time of all is that you know your sphere of ... Views: 2150
Looking for a life partner but keep picking players, paupers, or just plain zeros?
Finding a partner is like finding a good job: you only need one, but making a bad choice wastes your time and sticks you in an unpleasant situation. To avoid that, you need to make a grown-up decision about ... Views: 2132
Think about the clever line we women often use: it takes some form of “I’ve kissed so many frogs I’ve got the warts to prove it!” or “How many frogs do I have to kiss before I find my prince?”
You know what I’m talking about. It’s cute, and although we don’t really laugh at it, it tends to ... Views: 2094
Are you an independent, smart single woman who is dating and looking for love? If so, you've likely been challenged with how to respond when a man does something that ticks you off. What are realistic expectations? What should you tolerate? I get asked this question in many forms.
It can be ... Views: 2094
No matter your age, the way to connect with a man in the "I think you're hot and would be interested in going out with you" way is to flirt.
When I suggest that to the over-40 women in my dating workshops and coaching programs, I can see them cringe. Most of these otherwise outgoing women ... Views: 2077
Why is it that when we date — even at 40, 50, or 60 — we can become an alien woman from planet WTF? If you’re anything like I was, it’s sometimes difficult to recognize yourself when you’re in the presence of a hot, nice, or simply available man.
The beliefs and habits of our 25 or 30 year ... Views: 2074
In dating, good communication is the key to meeting and attracting men…especially the right men. It's also the key to developing and maintaining fulfilling relationships.
One of the most important ways I support my coaching clients (www.datelikeagrownup.com/coaching) is by helping them ... Views: 2073
It’s pathetic how easily I can find my self acting like the insecure kid I was in high school. These days it doesn’t come up too much, but can happen when I meet someone I especially like and admire, and get the sense they don’t return the feeling. I can get to feeling so hurt and undeserving ... Views: 2052
Happy Memorial Day weekend! How about a little trivia to start your day?
In 1868, May 30th was designated as a holiday to honor the nation’s Civil War casualties. Now called Memorial Day, it was originally known as Decoration Day. Red poppies are commonly associated with Memorial Day and are ... Views: 2042
Needy women attract good men.
"Low-maintenance" women attract jerks…or no men at all.
Is this counter to what you've always thought? Did you think that the less you expected from a man, the more he'd like you? Well, consider this:
A Good Man – one who is confident, mature and ... Views: 2016
I hate being like everyone else, but I have to make an exception for Oprah. Everyone is talking about her, and rightly so. May 25 is her final show. Oprah will no longer be visiting us every weekday, teaching us, nourishing our spirits and making us laugh.
The positive transformation this ... Views: 2005
Have you ever found yourself in a sexual lull? Maybe you're in one right now. During my oh-so-many single years, I used to call my gaps in dating and intimacy "being on hiatus." And the hiatuses were often pretty long. (Sorry…TMI?)
The truth is that extended periods of celibacy are somewhat ... Views: 1993
Yesterday I wanted to quit. This is too hard. There are days things seem to be clicking and I’m finally getting it…marching boldly toward my goal. Then there are days like yesterday when I feel clueless…like a failure with no hope of success.
And I can’t help but take it personally. I know I ... Views: 1979
Masturbation. There…I said it. The "Big M." I don't generally talk about this, so it may shock you. But the time has come to chat about the role sex – or lack thereof – plays in the life of a woman in her later years who is single and looking for love.
There are many circumstances that may ... Views: 1955
When I was single I had a love/hate relationship with weekends. I loved having the extra time off work; I hated that I didn’t have a man to spend the time with. The truth is, though, that I didn’t need a man to have fun or accomplish something meaningful. In many cases, I just needed ME!
I ... Views: 1946
Are you excited about the notion of hopping into bed with your new guy?
Slowly undressing…eyes locked…savoring each other’s bodies…lust so intense that you both might explode…
…or does the thought of it make you so nervous you want to puke?
Let’s face it: if you’re working on attracting ... Views: 1927