Do you know that you are special, that you count big time, and that you deserve to think of yourself first when dating and developing a love relationship?

This is such a difficult concept for so many women.

Think of myself first? That’s so selfish! I’ve never done that before…ever! I don’t want to become one of those bossy bitchy women!

I’ve heard this from several of my coaching clients this week as I try to veer them away from first wondering what he thinks and needs. This is their pattern and has been for a very long time. As a testament to that, they all had long generally unhappy marriages where they were always the one giving, and he the one taking…and controlling.

Yep…I tell them…that “he should be first” thing is probably why you’ve been making some pretty crappy choices in the past. Now it’s about you, girlfriend. Get used to it.

It may sound selfish at first, but pay close attention to what I’m saying: think of yourself FIRST. Not always. Not only. Just first.

Make sure your critical needs are met. Make sure he has your “must-haves.” Make sure you get what you need from him and from the relationship. Make sure you can be you — the REAL you, when you’re with him.

Because when you find that guy, you will naturally want to give back. You won’t be able to help yourself. And it will be from the heart. Knowing you (and yes, I do think I know you) you’ll probably give him what he wants and needs in spades. Lucky man.

Author's Bio: 

Bobbi Palmer is The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40. She is not just a dating coach; she's a dating success story! Bobbi married for the first time at age 47 and enjoys a loving and fun relationship with her spectacular husband. Now she gives her expert advice and real compassion to help other women do what she did, using her proven and powerful 6-Step Find Hope and then Find Him program. Bobbi invites you to take her free eCourse, "The 7 Major Dating Mistakes Women over 40 Make in their Search for Love," at