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Articles from Margaret Meloni | Selfgrowth.com
- Conflicted Priorities Equal Conflicted Behavior - by Submitted on May 14, 2012 from Margaret MeloniIt was 4:45pm and the requirements review meeting had already gone fifteen minutes beyond the scheduled end time. Joe was becoming agitated. He needed to get out the door at 5:00 pm exactly in order to pick up his daughter from soccer practice. The meeting was not showing any signs of wrapping ...
Views: 1383 - ***Bringing it ALL to Work - by Submitted on May 05, 2010 from Margaret MeloniI remember it like it was yesterday. I still remember this supervisor looking at me and yelling, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WOULD NOT CHOOSE THE MINISTER?” Ok, Ok – this is a pretty old memory (from the late 1980’s), so it could be that I don’t have the details quite right. Maybe she did not really ...
Views: 1374(4 votes) - ***Choose YOUR Battles - by Submitted on Jun 22, 2010 from Margaret Meloni“Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win. “ Jonathan Kozol: On Being a Teacher, 1981 Truthfully I do not know if I completely agree with the above quote, I bring it to you anyway because part of me thinks, ‘well this makes sense, I want to pick battles I can win’; but part ...
Views: 1370(3 votes) - ***Seasoning our Behavior - by Submitted on Dec 08, 2009 from Margaret MeloniHi Everyone, The item below is not a new post, but it has become an ‘old favorite’ and it is appropriate for this time of year. Once again I bring you ‘Seasoning Our Behavior’. This week marks the Thanksgiving holiday in the United States. There are many traditions that surround this holiday ...
Views: 1342(3 votes) - ***How Am I Supposed to Do That? - by Submitted on Dec 15, 2009 from Margaret Meloni“Margaret, you share with us these great tips for treating people with compassion. You make sense when you remind us that other people’s behavior is about them. But how are we supposed to really do this in the real world? Especially when someone is right in my face and I just want to yell at ...
Views: 1336(3 votes) - People Do Not Leave the Company - by Submitted on Oct 25, 2011 from Margaret Meloni“I disliked working with those people so much that I don’t even know if I hate doing this for a living or it was just those people at THAT place.” - Anonymous Unfortunately this quote or versions of this quote are not unique to any specific individual. Isn’t that sad? I have heard it on more ...
Views: 1333 - Hairs Looking at You Kid - by Submitted on Jul 12, 2011 from Margaret MeloniThere I was, brand new on the project, replacing a project manager who had vanished into thin air. I was beginning to envy him his vanishing act. I could see that the project had been ridiculously under estimated. I was not just new to the project, I was also new to the consulting firm I was ...
Views: 1320 - Comparisons - by Submitted on Jul 23, 2012 from Margaret Meloni“Never compare your insides with someone else’s outside.” – Hugh Macleod It is not often that the quotes I share with you come from someone who is still breathing. Today’s quote does and this makes me a bit nervous. See I am not certain if I am using the quote the way that Hugh Macleod ...
Views: 1308 - Is it Worth It? - by Submitted on Jan 09, 2012 from Margaret Meloni“Whenever you find yourself on the verge of losing your temper or falling into a bad mood, ask yourself, ‘Is this how I want to spend my day? Is it worth it to let this___________ (Fill-in-the-blank; person, situation etc.) take control of my day? Really?” – Margaret Meloni You are probably ...
Views: 1285 - ***YOUR Time - by Submitted on Oct 21, 2010 from Margaret MeloniQuestion, what is the resource that you cannot acquire more of? Do you think it is money? Do you think it is a specific type of skilled labor or a certain type of raw material? NO! Although you or your company might be feeling financially challenged you can find ways to earn money, you can ...
Views: 1277(2 votes) - ***The Face of Conflict - by Submitted on Dec 08, 2009 from Margaret MeloniOne of the more common definitions of conflict is that it is a clash between two (or more) opposing groups or that it is a power struggle or a battle between opposing forces. When you think of conflict, you may think of it as a negative (think power struggle or battle) or you may think that ...
Views: 1274(1 vote) - ***What Difference do Differences Make? - by Submitted on May 17, 2010 from Margaret MeloniYou have worked side-by-side with your team for quite some time and the good news is that it has been truly enjoyable. You get along, you work hard together and you laugh hard together. Lucky you, this might even be an example of a high performing team. You assumed it was because you had so much ...
Views: 1262(2 votes) - Stop Wasting Time - by Submitted on Aug 08, 2011 from Margaret MeloniSo there you are in line at the grocery store or the hardware store or the bank. It could be anyplace really. You could be on hold waiting for a customer service representative or waiting for a meeting to begin. You have time on your hands, what do you do with that time? What time, you ask? ...
Views: 1262(1 vote) - ***Would the REAL You Please Stand Up? - by Submitted on Jul 21, 2010 from Margaret MeloniMary Carol read the email from Tisha and was really annoyed. She had just met with Tisha yesterday and everything seemed fine. Now here was this really harsh email. It made no sense. The most puzzling thing was that working with Tisha was like working with two different personalities all ...
Views: 1261(1 vote) - Are YOU Playing to YOUR Strengths? - by Submitted on Jan 19, 2011 from Margaret Meloni“Oh no, here we go again” thought Joe as his Quality Assurance Analyst Heidi approached him with his memo, complete with typos circled in red ink. He was not really annoyed by Heidi, she was just doing what she does; he mainly felt embarrassed. After all as the leader shouldn’t all of his work ...
Views: 1249 - The Art of No - by Submitted on Jun 09, 2011 from Margaret Meloni“The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.” – Tony Blair No is not always negative. It is not a bad or incorrect response. Saying no does not make you a difficult or uncooperative person. Read that again, out loud. Saying no is more honest than a false ...
Views: 1231 - ***Bringing it ALL to Work - by Submitted on Dec 14, 2010 from Margaret MeloniI remember it like it was yesterday. I still remember this supervisor looking at me and yelling, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WOULD NOT CHOOSE THE MINISTER?” Ok, Ok – this is a pretty old memory (from the late 1980’s), so it could be that I don’t have the details quite right. Maybe she did not ...
Views: 1230 - ***You Decide to Resolve a Conflict, Now What? – Part II - by Submitted on Mar 15, 2010 from Margaret MeloniIn You Decide to Resolve a Conflict, Now What? (http://blog.melonicoaching.com/?p=818) we discussed some steps to take when you decide to step in and help resolve a conflict. These steps were designed to help you when you know in advance that you will be facilitating resolution. Today we are ...
Views: 1227(4 votes) - ***The Intersection of EQ, Difficult People and You! - by Submitted on Dec 08, 2009 from Margaret MeloniQuestion: What happens when you take someone with empathy and place them in a meeting with someone who is pitching a fit? Answer: The person who is pitching the fit gets lucky because they have someone in the room who understands that sometimes others get upset in the workplace AND someone ...
Views: 1222 - Mitigate the Risk Called YOU - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2012 from Margaret MeloniSometimes your behaviors support you and sometimes they do not. The key is to identify the supporting behaviors or opportunities so that you can use them more and to identify the behaviors that are damaging or the threats so that you can learn to prevent them. When you pay close attention to ...
Views: 1221 - ***What Could Happen - by Submitted on Dec 08, 2010 from Margaret MeloniWhen you are facing a difficult decision sometimes the best thing to do is to sit back and analyze the potential outcomes from your decision. What path will each outcome create for you? Trace that path to its natural termination. Are you OK with this path? In other words: If you do X, what is ...
Views: 1214(1 vote) - How to Be Wrong - by Submitted on Nov 13, 2011 from Margaret MeloniI need to tell you something. I hope you don’t mind. You see, what I have to tell you might not be something you want to know. But here goes, “You are not always right.” This is my polite way of telling you that sometimes you are wrong. It’s OK. Believe it or not, we all are wrong about ...
Views: 1206 - Principled Negotiations - by Submitted on Aug 20, 2012 from Margaret MeloniSo much of your life is a negotiation. At home you negotiate your children's bed times, what time dinner will be ready, whose family you visit for the holidays and many other items. At work you negotiate difficult deadlines, impossible budgets and over-allocated resources (including your own ...
Views: 1203(1 vote) - Please Interrupt Yourself - by Submitted on May 12, 2011 from Margaret MeloniYou know that interrupting someone when they are speaking is really rude. If you have children you have probably worked very hard to teach them to say “Excuse me”, before they break into conversations. What about interrupting you? I wish you would. Be honest, every once in a while you have a ...
Views: 1198 - Culture Is Everything - by Submitted on Nov 21, 2011 from Margaret Meloni“The thing I have learned at IBM is that culture is everything.” Louis V. Gerstner, Jr. former CEO IBM Too often I have worked with people who have joined a new organization only to crash and burn. Too often a complete and total disregard for organizational culture has played a part in this ...
Views: 1194 - ***Why YOU avoid YOUR Resolutions and What to Do About it - by Submitted on Jan 11, 2010 from Margaret MeloniHere is a New Year’s resolution you almost never hear: “This year I vow to keep everything the same, I am going to weigh the same, exercise the same, talk to all of the same people and be exactly the same.” New Year’s resolutions are about change and sometimes change is difficult. Let’s ...
Views: 1190(2 votes) - What is EQ and Why Do You Care? - by Submitted on Aug 03, 2009 from Margaret MeloniEQ is the acronym for Emotional Intelligence. So not only do you and I have an IQ (Intelligence Quotient), we also have emotional intelligence. Emotional Intelligence is not about traditional intelligence. It is about our ability to handle ourselves and others. It is all about our ability to get ...
Views: 1183(2 votes) - I Already Know That! - by Submitted on Jul 26, 2011 from Margaret Meloni“Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication. “ Groucho Marx “I already know that.” Now there is a phrase that does not encourage conversation. In ...
Views: 1125(1 vote) - Off Your Game? - by Submitted on Feb 20, 2012 from Margaret Meloni“Jason, did you know we were waiting for you in the conference room down the hall?” Jason looked up from his desk and then at the clock and realized that yes he did know. Somehow he just forgot. He spent most of yesterday afternoon preparing for this budget meeting. He felt really odd about ...
Views: 1121 - Skills You Can Learn - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2012 from Margaret MeloniCommunication is a skill that you can learn. It's like riding a bicycle or typing. If you're willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life. - Brian Tracy You have probably either heard me say (or read an article where I have reminded you) that you ...
Views: 1117 - 9 Tips for Navigating YOUR Office Party - by Submitted on Dec 14, 2011 from Margaret MeloniIt’s that time again, peace on earth and good will to all. Or at least it would be if you were not worried about those darned office parties. What are they anyway? Are they work or are they parties? Here are some tips to help you navigate the maze of professional pitfalls that lurk behind that ...
Views: 1105 - YOU are a Risk - by Submitted on Mar 05, 2012 from Margaret MeloniEach day you bring strengths and weaknesses to work. You walk into the room (virtual or otherwise) with what makes you unique. Or as the saying goes, wherever you go, there you are. That is a good thing. It is all of the elements that make you, well you; that differentiate you from others. You ...
Views: 1100(2 votes) - Decisions, Decisions - by Submitted on Sep 26, 2011 from Margaret Meloni“Tom I really think that when there is a technical decision to be made, it makes perfects sense for you to delegate the decision to Simon. After all he is our technical lead.” Marilyn chimed in, “I agree with Jacob. I think the trick is that you need to make it clear that you trust Simon to make ...
Views: 1094(1 vote) - Where Are You Coming From? - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2012 from Margaret MeloniHave you ever looked at someone and thought, “I have no clue what this person is talking about.” Maybe you even have specifically thought, “Where is this person coming from?” You were not questioning their place of origin. What you were questioning was their perspective. If you occasionally ...
Views: 1082 - That was a Decision, Really? - by Submitted on Sep 13, 2011 from Margaret MeloniTom was not surprised when Jacob and Marilyn asked for a private meeting with him. He had a hunch that some of the team was displeased with him. He thought of Jacob and Marilyn as ‘unofficial’ team leaders. They seemed to be the two people who his team members looked to for professional ...
Views: 1080 - Your Boss is Human - by Submitted on Dec 27, 2011 from Margaret MeloniThis just in, you report to a human being! Whether or not she lets you see her human side or not, she has pressures, stresses, fears, and insecurities just like you do. So don’t think for a minute that just because someone has a director or a vice-president in their title that they have no ...
Views: 1062 - Sending and Receiving - by Submitted on Mar 19, 2012 from Margaret Meloni“But communication is two-sided - vital and profound communication makes demands also on those who are to receive it... demands in the sense of concentration, of genuine effort to receive what is being communicated.” Roger Sessions What a great reminder that there is a sender and a receiver ...
Views: 1050 - Keeping Others Down - by Submitted on Mar 21, 2011 from Margaret Meloni"As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might." Marian Anderson This is so obvious when you think about it from a physical perspective. If you were physically holding someone down, unless you have ...
Views: 990 - Garbage In, Garbage Out - by Submitted on Jul 21, 2009 from Margaret MeloniIt’s the end of a long day. You started the day early in order to meet a deadline and you ended the day late to meet that same deadline. The good news is that you reached your goal. The bad news is that traffic on the way home was miserable. When you arrive home you can’t wait to sit on the ...
Views: 890(1 vote) - Creatures of Habit - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2009 from Margaret MeloniJeanette and Rusty left work early to compare notes. Both of them worked for the same director and both of them were unhappy with their performance reviews. Jeanette had tried to discreetly ask her peers about their performance reviews, but Rusty seemed to be the only other manager who was ...
Views: 869(1 vote) - What’s Your Motivation? - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2009 from Margaret MeloniJane had a tough decision to make. She had two strong candidates for her former Director of Software Development position. Newly promoted to CIO (Chief Information Officer) Jane needed to backfill her old position quickly. This was the first decision she would make in her new role, so selecting ...
Views: 799(1 vote) - Are You in Control? - by Submitted on Aug 17, 2009 from Margaret MeloniThe scene below depicts Jane and her behavior while in a bad mood. In this potential scenario Jane is being really hateful: “Do you think you could stop surfing the web long enough to get me a latte? I would hate to think your horoscope for the day includes bad customer service.” For some ...
Views: 772(2 votes) - How Did That Feel? - by Submitted on Aug 31, 2009 from Margaret MeloniMary Carol arrived at the hospital too late, Lydia had just died. Mary Carol and her co-workers all knew that Lydia was dying. Lydia had been fighting cancer for several months and unfortunately she did not respond to the treatment. Mary Carol was coming to say goodbye. She said her good byes ...
Views: 705(2 votes) - Are You Aware? - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2009 from Margaret MeloniScene One: “Do you think you could stop surfing the web long enough to get me a latte? I would hate to think your horoscope for the day includes bad customer service.” For some reason, snapping at the coffee house barista made Jane feel just a bit better. Jane slammed some money on the ...
Views: 666(1 vote)