Therapy: Can Someone Unconsciously Look Toward A Therapist To Complete Them If They Experienced Early Deprivation?

After struggling mentally and emotionally for quite some time, someone could look for a way to change their inner experience. This can mean that they will look for answers online and/or they could look for a therapist to work with.

Once they have found someone suitable, they could arrange an appointment. After this, they could feel relieved and mildly anxious but be looking forward to finally receiving the help that they need.

The First part

During the start of their first session, they could go into how they often experience ‘negative’ thoughts and feelings, for instance. Additionally, they could say that they often feel lonely and disconnected from others.

If so, they can end up working on ways to change their ‘negative’ thoughts and feelings into ‘positive’ thoughts and feelings. Moreover, they could focus on changing how they behave.

The next Stage

After they have been working with this therapist for a number of weeks or months, they could find that they feel better about themselves and behave in ways that make it easier for them to meet their needs. It could then be said that this shows that the work that they are doing during therapy and perhaps during their own time is allowing them to change themselves.

They are then not the person that they were before and it might not be long until they no longer need this type of support. However, if they were to stop having therapy, it might not be long until they go back to how they were before, or close to it.

One Experience

As the weeks and months pass, they could find that they go back to experiencing a lot of ‘negative’ thoughts and feelings. They could feel as though they are losing something that they once had.

If they were to go back to having therapy, they could soon go back to how they felt when they last had it. At this point, they could wonder why they only feel different and behave as they need to when they are having therapy.

A Closer Look

What this can illustrate is that it is the therapist who is having the biggest impact on them, not what they do during an appointment. Most likely, this will be a time when the therapist is present, attuned and caring.

As a result of this, they will feel seen, heard, valued and even loved. Naturally, this is going to have a positive effect on them during their time with the therapist and this experience will continue to impact them once their time has come to an end.

Back In Time

The reason that spending time with someone who is focused on them and is concerned about them has such an impact can be because of how emotionally barren their formative years were. This may have been a time when one or both of their parents were emotionally unavailable and out of reach.

As they didn’t receive the attunement and care that they needed to grow and develop in the right way, they would have been greatly deprived and deeply wounded. Instead of going from an emotionally dependent to an emotionally interdependent human being who felt whole and complete, they wouldn’t have moved beyond this stage of their development.

Beyond The Surface

One on level, then, they will be an adult, but at another, deeper level, they will feel like a deeply wounded child and empty. At this deeper level, they will be desperate to receive the attunement and care that they missed out on as a child.

When they are in the presence of an attuned and caring therapist, this other part of them will believe that it is finally receiving what it missed out on. This part of them won’t be able to see that the therapist is not their mother or father and that this stage of their life has passed.

A Very Different Experience

It will automatically place the mother or father that they had but who couldn’t love them into the therapist. This part of them can do this as it is blind and has no sense of time.

Their couscous mind will then be oblivious to what is taking place but what is going on for them at an unconscious level will still have an impact on their conscious experience. Taking this into account, it is not a surprise that they won’t feel as good when they are no longer having this type of therapy, as they will no longer be spending time with someone who will allow another, hidden part of them to be deceived into believing that they are finally receiving what they missed out on as a child.

Another Approach

As an adult, as they are an interdependent human being, they will need to be seen and heard and have people in their life who care about them. But, as will be only too clear from the fact that the impact that a therapist has on them disappears once they stop having therapy, it is too late for them to receive the love that they missed out on as a child that would have allowed them to feel whole and complete.

When they were deprived very early on, they would have experienced a lot of pain and a number of their developmental needs would have been repressed. For them to no longer look for what they missed out on and can no longer receive, it is likely to be essential for them to face and work through this pain and experience these unmet developmental needs.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.