When something is not working in life, it is common for blame to appear. And this can be towards: things, individuals and organisations. The opposite of this would be to take responsibility and to find out what the problems are and then to take the appropriate action.

Through doing this, progress can often be made and although some things might not be able to be repaired or changed, there is likely to be some kind of resolution. This would generally be classed as a more mature approach, whereas using blame would be seen as a sign of immaturity.

To just use blame is unlikely to allow any kind or progress to be made or for closure to take place. Movement will not occur and something could stay exactly as it is or get far worse.

And when one wants to move on with their life or a whole group of people want to move on for example, blame might be the initial reaction, but some kind of responsibility will have to appear if they are to fulfil their real intentions.

The Connection

One might have started to wonder what this has to do with the ego, and rightly so. It could be seen as a separate area of discussion and have very little to do with it. But upon closer inspection, one will see that there are parallels.

In recent years, the word ego has become widely used during certain situations. And these typically relate to when one has done something that doesn’t serve them or when someone has behaved in a way that is negative or dysfunctional.

And when this happens, deeper questions are rarely asked; the ego then becomes a word that is used to label behaviour that is unsatisfactory.

Different Areas

In the public domain this could apply to someone who acts as if they are better than others or comes across as too confident for instance. They would be described as having a big ego, but that’s about as far as it goes.

When it comes to the area of self development or ‘spirituality’ there is often a lot more to it. Labels are still used, but they are often supplemented with information as to why the ego is unnecessary and needs to be dealt with in some way.

At times, this could mean that one needs to remove or even ‘destroy’ their ego. For some people, this sounds like what is meant to happen and for others, this is going to sound completely ridiculous.

Another Angle

If the word ‘ego’ is put to one side for the time being and this is looked at from another angle, it is clear that one is experiencing inner challenges or they are experiencing them externally through other people.

The cause of these challenges is then the result of the ego. And based on this outlook, if one were to remove the ego, then all would be well. So if one has formed this perspective of the ego, it is natural for them to see it as bad and to be the reason for the problems in their life.

Once something has become associated as problem, it is normal that one is going to want to do something about it. The need to grow and to remove pain is part of being human, so to simply put up with it is not going to be an option for a lot people.

The Ego

And if the ego is bad, then surely it has no purpose and one must do all they can to somehow remove it. But what if the ego does have a purpose and the reason it is causing so many problems is because of something else?

The ego is often described as the part that keeps one alive and it is situated just above the stomach. Another name for the ego is the reptilian brain and this brain is part of what has been described as the ‘triune brain’ and this also includes the limbic system and the neo cortex.

And as it wants to keep one alive, it means that its sole purpose is survival and nothing else. So anything that doesn’t relate to survival will not interest this brain. Higher aims, ideals and ideas will be a consequence of other two brains.


The ego is not something that is fixed and unaffected by life; it is programmed by what one has experienced in their life. And so, what one person’s ego associates as safe is going to be different to another and vice versa.

What is classed as safe to the ego is what is familiar and anything can be familiar. This could be what is functional and it could be what is dysfunctional and it can go back to what happened to them when they were a baby and a child. The ego doesn’t make judgments as to whether something is good or bad, it just accepts them.

So nourishing experiences can program the ego and become familiar and so can experiences that are traumatic. And if these experiences cause a certain amount of pain, one can end up being trapped in this brain.


One is then not operating from a place of wholeness; they are fractured and are either stuck in survival mode or they are in this mode for certain periods. And when the other two brains are out of action, their abilities will also be lost.

Being aware, thinking critically and observing won’t be possible and empathy, compassion and a sense of oneness will also go missing. What the ego has associated as safe is what one will continually attract into their life and when this relates to something that was traumatic, it is not going to be too pleasant to continually re create the experience.


What can cause problems here is when ones awareness of each brain has been lost and this can lead to one brain being against the other. So through one having their awareness firmly in the neo cortex and being out of touch with their reptilian brain (ego), they can come to the conclusion that this other brain is the problem.

When in reality, they are all on the same side; they have just lost contact with each other. So to blame the ego is to blame one’s own nature and the only way it could be removed is by someone ending their life.


And as the ego mind is programmed by experiences that are both nourishing and traumatic, it would make sense to take a look at these experiences in order for change to take place.

The experiences that one has that are traumatic will have created emotional consequences and these would have created a preset that became associated as familiar. And this would have then created certain thoughts and behavioural tendencies.

And as these are seen as what is familiar, one will continue to manifest a reality that reflects them. It won’t matter if they relate to what happened many years ago and have very little to do with ones present reality, as the ego mind will still interpret reality in the same way.

But once the trauma has been dealt with, what their ego classes as familiar and therefore safe will change. The original preset will be reset and if one has been stuck in this lower brain for most of their life, they will be able to experience a whole brain connection for the first time.

One way of doing this is to release ones trapped feeling and emotions, also known as trauma. And this can be done with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

Author's Bio: 

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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