Risk – the Key Ingredient for a Midlife Woman’s Personal Growth

There is a great deal of talk and sound evidence that boomer women today have exciting new opportunities available to us as we approach the remaining chapters of our lives. Many of us whether by circumstance or design are coming to realize how precious this time is and are eager to embrace these new possibilities. We are coming to see this special time as an opportunity to take stock of what has occurred, what no longer serves us and what we want to grow for ourselves in the future. It all sounds so easy doesn’t it? But in reality there is one very necessary ingredient that we must be willing to add to the formula to make it all happen.

This past December I wrote an article on my blog about a very dear friend of mine and her brave and enlightened view of life that eventually led her to a drastic and dramatic lifestyle change. Her story so reminded me of the classic Cinderella fairy tale that I titled the article “Risk and a Modern Cinderella Story.”

The Story

To make a long story short over the past few years she experienced a great deal of change in her life. To be brief, a sudden and unexpected health issue that nearly killed her and took her short term memory and livelihood and a relationship that ended suddenly. But instead of giving in she continued with her passion for life, Tango Dancing and looking forward.

There came an opportunity for two lengthy visits to Argentina to submerge in the culture and most importantly, Dance the Tango to her heart’s content. Of course she grabbed it. It was on one of these visits that she met the special someone. Although their physical time together was brief that magical “thing” that is so unexplainable; a knowing, an intuition that this is right grew after her return.

In what seemed to be a far too short amount of time her handsome prince asked her to join him in Argentina and for her hand in marriage. She put her home on the market, an incredible unique place filled with interesting treasures collected and created over the years. She gave away and sold a lifetime of possessions. Interestingly throughout this process there was never a sign of regret. She took only what she needed for her new life in a small number of suitcases and an even smaller amount that were shipped. She now enjoys small accommodations in the city and a liberating walk/live lifestyle.

The Risk

I think it’s important to understand that my friend is not what anyone would call impetuous. In fact she is known to be very intelligent, accomplished and she is looked up to by her many friends. Needless to say each of these friends had their own version of well intentioned concern. The questions we all pelted her with were obvious. Shouldn’t she rent her home for a while to see how this turns out? Shouldn’t she get to know him better before she takes such irreversible actions? What if the relationship doesn’t work out? What if she needs help?

The Lesson

Are we likely to experience a fairy tale encounter such as this? We all attract into our lives what we think about and believe to be possible and we each have our own version of happiness and what we want. I shared this as an example of important instances when our fear of change, failure and the unknown can stop us from taking risks that might keep us from pursuing something we really do want.

I spent a day with her before she left and discovered that her thinking was not as impulsive as it might seem. In fact she had done a pretty thorough “Risk Assessment”. Using this example, here are 4 simple questions to help you overcome your fear of risk or failure and better assess if you are willing to take a risk.

1) What is the worst thing that could happen? She could sell her house and most of her belongings and move to a foreign country and the relationship fails. She could discover she misses the U.S.

2) What is the best thing that could happen? She loves living in Argentina and the relationship is wonderful. Better still, she is living in a country where her passion, tango dancing, is a way of life and not just a hobby. She becomes an expert dancer and has the opportunity to explore tango dancing therapy, a new and emerging interest of hers.

3) What are the possible consequences if the worst happens? She could leave the relationship and return to the U.S. and build a new life and home here again.

4) What are some alternative outcomes? She might choose to stay in Argentina and build a single life there if she loves living in Argentina. She could also have gained the skill to teach tango therapy either here or in Argentina. If she did return, she would want a smaller and more manageable home as she was feeling ready for a home with less responsibility and maintenance even before this unique opportunity came along.

After continuing to explore the above questions and journaling ideas and thoughts that came to her as a result of these questions she ultimately came to the decision to go.

She was single, did not have children and it was a dream she really wanted to explore. Bottom line, she could stay “safe” and shackled to “things’” and a life she had outgrown or risk, thrive and shape a life that is more of who she is now.

Of course this is an unusual example and there is much more to the story than is revealed here but I refer to it because it so clearly and perfectly illustrates how in order to discover, change and grow we must be willing to set aside our fears and risk. For it is in this risk, whether large or small, that growth and the opportunity to live a life of consequence, a life without regrets can occur. It is what makes life rich, interesting and keeps us alive and thriving!

And now I’d like to offer you instant access to a free 21-Day Attitude Adjustment e-course. when you visit http://www.womenintransitiononline.com. You will also receive my bi-monthly e-zine with motivational and positive mindset articles on how to discover and shape the life you love, NOW.