What is clear is that if someone was mistreated during their early years, it was something that they had no control over. For one thing, they didn’t choose the family they had and, as they were a powerless and dependent child there was absolutely nothing that they could have done.

Therefore, this was a time when they were the victims and their parent or parents were the perpetrators. To say anything else wouldn’t make any sense and it would hold someone who isn’t accountable, accountable for what they played no part in.

Another Angle

However, while they would have been a powerless victim throughout this stage of their life, what if they didn’t randomly end up with the family that they have? What if they chose to incarnate in this family?

At this point, they could say that there is absolutely no chance that they chose this family. Furthermore, they could say that this is the only life they have had and thus, they didn’t “incarnate”, or that there is no such thing as incarnation.

A Natural Outcome

Naturally, as they were greatly mistreated during this stage of their life, it is to be expected that they would say that they didn’t choose to have this experience. Simply being told this could cause them to experience a fair amount of anger and rage.

As for believing that there is no such thing as reincarnation, this could also be seen as a natural part of living in a society that is largely a manifestation of ego-consciousness. As a result of this, there is life and then there is death and that’s the end of it.

A Continuation

Even so, there is the chance that this is not their first life and that their last life had a number of things in common with the life that they had after this. Then again, how their last life was towards the end may have been very similar.

Where they were energetically during their past life will then have played a part in the family that they would end up incarnating into. Another part of this is that while their physical body and the identity that they had would have died, another part of them will have lived on.

A key part

What this will illustrate is that who they are now won’t have chosen the family that they now have. Who they are now will have been heavily influenced by the body and brain they have and the experiences that they have had during this life.

So, if what was going on for them in their last life played a part in what they would experience in the next life and it wasn’t random, it will mean that they were not being punished. In other words, they were not mistreated because they are inherently bad, worthless and unlovable.

Seeing Clearly

In reality, they would have carried a certain energetic imprint and this would have played a part in why they were pulled to a certain family. Before they were even mistreated by them, part of them is likely to have already felt powerless, hopeless and helpless, bad, worthless, unlovable and unsafe.

If they hadn’t already felt this way, there is a strong chance that they would have ended up being pulled to another family. Or, the experience that they had with the same family might have been different.

Rising Up

Being able to step back and look beyond what happened to them during their early years and see that it wasn’t personal, will play a big part in what will allow them to move forward. If they are purely focused on what took place and see themselves as a victim of what happened, they will continue to feel powerless.

How they felt as a child will then carry on and they won’t be able to liberate themselves from a brutal stage of their life. Still, this is a process that takes courage and patience and persistence.


A fair amount of pain and arousal can need to be worked through before they can even contemplate this view, let alone accept it. But, by working through this pain and the arousal that they experienced as a child and before, they will be able to go from a feeling like a child who sees their parent or parents as all-knowing and all-powerful gods, to beings who were deeply wounded.

The level of consciousness that their parent or parents had is likely to have been very similar to the level of consciousness that they had when they incarnated. By changing their consciousness, something that will take place by healing themselves, their life will gradually change.

The Truth

Over time, by putting in the work, they still start to realise, at the core of their being, that they are worthy, deserving, loveable, and powerful. Additionally, they will be able to feel safe and secure.

What they can keep in mind is that they are more than what has happened to them in this life as well as in any other life. Their thoughts, feelings, perceptions and environment might not always validate this but it doesn’t change this.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author of 25 books, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

Feel free to join the Facebook Group -