It's a common belief that you should express your feelings and talk about them after a serious problem or a trauma. But, do you really want to talk about them? Can't you just keep your feelings to yourself? Silence is as healthy as sharing. If you choose silence people should respect to that.

Expressing your feelings to someone who is supportive or a professional is always a good thing that you can benefit from this. However, there is nothing wrong to keep your feelings inside if you choose to do so.

People want to share each others' problems and happiness.

You cannot ignore a friend or a family member when you know about the problems they are going through. You want to help. You want to say that; time will heal everything. You want to say that it's ok and you understand them. Can you really understand anything unless you are exactly the same person as your friend?

Have you ever thought about the following before, after a trauma?
• Sometimes you want to cope with your feelings alone.
• You don't want to discuss about your feelings.
• You don't want to be asked if you are alright, every day.
• You want to find your own way out.
• You don't want to go through all the problems again and again by sharing them.
• You don't want to take a professional help.
• You want to live your life like it was once.
• You think that, you can balance yourself mentally as long as you can be left alone.

This is how I felt once. I love sharing my happiness, excitement and joy. When it comes to sharing my negative feelings, I don't prefer sharing them. I tell the whole story once, because I know that people are worried about me. Then it should be over, but it is not.

I don't know why but people start talking about you, every time they meet each other. You can always feel their suspicious eyes over you, as if they are searching for a clue that you need help. You can hear them whispering about you. They never stop.

Some of them think that it's not healthy keeping your feelings inside and they force you to talk.

Others think that you can be mentally ill because you don't act like you supposed to.

What do they want from you?

• They want you to tell your story over and over again.
• They ask questions about the details.
• They ask about your plans now.
• They dig so deep until they make you cry.

Then they feel relaxed. They think that at the moment you cry, the problem is solved. They have no idea what they have done to you.

You have the right to keep your feelings inside.

Opposite to common belief, it is completely healthy if you decide not to share your feelings. This doesn't mean that you are mentally ill or you will be in the future. Researchers have proven that sometimes people who don't share can cope with their feelings better than the ones who share. They can overcome their feelings in silence.

Research: University at Buffalo
Researchers: Mark Seery PhD, Roxane Cohen SilverPhD

You don't have to visualize the events to share with others. Sharing, forces you to remember every ting and live the days again that you are trying to forget. All your memories wake up and fill your day. As you visualize, they become real again. Every time you share your negative feelings they grow bigger.

None of us are the same so you don't have to fit to the common belief. You can choose your way to cope with your feelings. Silence doesn't mean that you fail. Free yourself from anything that is negative to protect your mental health and mind power. The way you choose doesn't matter.

Author's Bio: 

Nil Celen is an investigator for the proofs of "Mind Power" based on scientific resources.

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