You’re really frustrated. Angry. There is so much happening in your life and you have so many emotions floating around you can’t think straight. You’re tired. You’re moody. Ok, even irritable. Friends are complaining. Your spouse is complaining. Your kids hide when they see you. So you withdraw and say very little. Then colleagues ask, “What’s wrong?” You just want everyone to leave you alone!

The thing is you have so much emotional energy you really don’t know what’s wrong! You don’t know what you feel! But you do know that soon, you just might explode!

Why does this happen?
Incidents take place. Change occurs. Multiple things could be happening in your life all at once but often you are too busy to notice how you feel about it; you just do whatever needs to be done. You stay in action. At the end of the day, you are drained. You don’t necessarily acknowledge what you’ve been through or how you feel about things in your life. You either pass out or your mind is so busy racing that you get stuck in thinking mode and can’t find the shut off valve!

When you experience an emotion, you don’t always acknowledge it. You “stuff it” so to speak. And the emotion gets tucked away. It has to go somewhere so you store the emotion in your body’s attic or closet until such time when it becomes overfilled. Eventually, the emotional energy needs to be released.

How do you spell relief?
Some people enjoy Reiki or other energetic healing techniques. These are wonderful and helpful techniques for eliminating the energy left behind from emotions when they are not cleared from your body.

Therapy helps too, but I have found that oftentimes, simply acknowledging the emotions is enough to release their energetic hold and clear them away. You can do this by yourself or with another person, however, there are some ground rules.

Emotional cleansing is NOT about problem solving or determining solutions. It is simply about acknowledging the pain you are holding onto and releasing the emotional energy stored in your body.

If you do this by yourself, you may wish to write it out on paper. Make a list of everything you are angry, fearful, frustrated or upset about. What is going on that is triggering your pain? Just list these things. And keep listing until you have exhausted your list.

If you have another person assisting you, their job is to simply ask you, “what else?” They will keep you from getting sidetracked.

No one asked for your opinion
Do not judge. Do not question. Do not try to fix. Do not rationalize. Do not try to minimize your feelings or the event. If you are angry, then be angry! And just acknowledge that you are angry, upset, fearful, sad, whatever.

Resist the temptation to go on and on about a particular event. Just note the event or situation that is triggering the anger or other emotion.
• I am angry that the kids won’t clean their rooms.
• I am angry about what Betty said to me at work yesterday.
• I am angry that they put up with her poor behavior and we all have to suffer because of it.
• I am angry that my mom isn’t around to talk to anymore.
• I am upset about Mary getting fired at work.
• I am scared about losing my job too.
• I am angry that I have to drive out to that store again to return that item – it’s so far away.

You get the picture.

You may want to console yourself by placing blame or releasing your responsibility by playing a victim.

“Mary always talks down to me and I hate it. Why does she always do this to me?”

“Self-pity has no value. Things happen. They happen to all of us. We each have a story to tell. There are lessons we all must learn. These lessons are not personal. Each of us must experience our share of loss and pain; it’s part of our human experience. We mustn’t be attached to any of it. Each of us must learn to deal with hardship and unpleasant feelings, as well as joy and pleasant feelings. Suffering is a choice and pity gets you nowhere.”
~ The Little E-Book of Wisdom

You are responsible for your emotion. People don’t cause you to feel a certain way. People do things and events occur and you have thoughts about these things. Your thoughts trigger your emotional state. Don’t fuss over why you are feeling whatever you are feeling. This exercise is just about acknowledging your emotions; there is no room for judgment.

AHHH. Relief.
As you acknowledge the list of upsets and of energetic muck you have been holding onto, you’ll find the energy dissipate. You will feel lighter and less stressed. You’ll feel like the world is being lifted off of your shoulders.

You may even want to take a nap. Go ahead. You deserve it!

Some people shift their focus after acknowledging all of the “negative” emotions and start expressing all of their positive ones such as gratitude and what they are happy or joyful for, etc. Go with it! Acknowledging the good emotions is just as important and many times we stuff those too! All of our emotions deserve our attention, even if only momentarily.

Don’t start hoarding again!
Once you have let go all of the emotional baggage you have been storing, create a new system to deal with emotions as they come up. Recognize your emotions in the moment or do daily checks before you lay down to sleep. Review your day to identify emotions you may be experiencing from the events and situations you found yourself in. It is a much healthier way to live.

Author's Bio: 

Does Change have to be so H.A.R.D.? Julie Donley, a psychiatric nurse and author of this essential book on change, was tired of life being SO hard and went in search of an easier way. What she found was quite intriguing: “Hard or easy, it’s how you think about it!” Want to learn more? Contact to arrange a free 30-minute coaching session to learn how you too can change a HARD challenge to something EASY. An addiction and change expert, Julie is named one of the top 100 thought leaders in her field. She has published hundreds of articles and is author of several works including Does Change have to be so H.A.R.D.? and The Journey Called YOU: A Roadmap to Self-Discovery and Acceptance. Visit to learn more about her work, sign up for her newsletter or arrange to have her speak at your next meeting or conference.