Building Your Confidence Muscle

Many of my clients question and doubt their ability to take the weight off and keep it off without some form of control measure. Whether it is a diet they can stick to, an exercise program that they religiously adhere to, or more commonly…both of the aforementioned. Then they come across someone that tells them, “you can achieve your goals but you really don’t have to work that hard”. You don’t need to restrict or punish yourself. This is where the doubt takes over and settles in.

Many people just can’t quite wrap their minds around how their thoughts and lack of confidence in achieving results, both with weight and in life, might be the one missing piece in allowing them to live a full life, with all the things they love and still maintain a slim waistline.

There are hormones produced when one thinks of negative emotions directed towards the self or one’s ability. These thoughts not only create a toxic internal dialogue making it impossible to feel we can accomplish more, but they also create a toxic hormonal environment that affects every aspect of our health.

We can’t possibly create change in our attitude about what we are capable of achieving without taking the chance of trying something different. Our old patterns will simply direct us back to our old results. The only logical step would be to attempt something different, and this involves courage. Even if we are not happy with our lives or our bodies, this unhappiness and self-judgment might be so familiar that it feels more like “home” than the uncertainty of a positive thought or self-love.

“Feel the fear and do it anyway” doesn’t have to be so drastic. Both with weight and in facing fears…..take baby steps and challenge yourself to try something new one small bite at a time. Practice this until it becomes more familiar….more like a pattern you no longer think of as odd or foreign. Keep adding to this and eventually you will start to recognize the shift in your attitude, your weight, and the way you interact with the world.

So many of us think failure is imminent. We are afraid of failure and the many ways it can reveal imperfections or character flaws. Well, ask yourself what the worst would be if you did fail? In perspective, is it as bad as what we are imagining? If we learn to look at failure from the standpoint of being able to learn from the experience, then is it failure?

In the case of nutrition and diet, f we find out which foods simply do not work for us, which fitness routines we dislike so much we simply will not participate in them ever again, or which snack foods send us straight to the land of nod, then isn’t this part of the process of learning what we don’t want to feed our bodies?

Same thing holds true for life. Finding who makes us feel like less, what jobs we simply labor our way through, and what interactions make us feel as though we have given up a part of our authentic selves…this too, can help us start to recognize what DOES resonate and feed us both physically and mentally, simply because we are so aware of what doesn’t.

In learning to accept where we are today, we can engage by simply adhering to one small change to add into our lives. After a week of a new behavior it is simple to see how one step has made a big difference. When you start to engage with your confidence-building muscle, you naturally start to see what you ARE capable of, not what you aren’t. You start to trust that you can accomplish another small step the following week or following month. You compare yourself less with others and start to define what success feels and looks like to you. You literally become empowered. But it takes doing it, not thinking about it. As I once heard, “you must step up the steps, not just look up the steps”.

The courage and inspiration to try something new might need a little hand holding…or alot. Whether you work with others that can support you during this initial phase or decide to go it alone, remember that as with all muscles, the more you exercise having confidence to succeed, the stronger this behavior becomes, until the effort is effortless and the result is simply the “You” you have wanted to be.