Many Spiritual teachings say that the universe arranges for all the people in our life – from our most casual acquaintances to our dearest friends, from our closest family members to the stranger who walks his dog past our house; share negative traits similar to our own.

Here’s what happens: the garbage of others will be shown to me during the course of my day. How I allow it to affect me is the key to its message (lesson, gift, etc). The moment I choose to pass judgment on another’s negative traits, I have pointed the finger at myself. Remember when you point your ‘pointer’ finger at someone else you have 4 pointing back at you. In other words, our words (and thoughts) when spoken (or unspoken) against another can cause a guilty verdict to be rendered upon us. Once we cast the verdict of judgment on another, we open the door for the verdict and the forces of reckoning to come to us.

These forces usually show up in the form of guilt, resentment, anger, envy, etc. which then can manifest into our ‘acting out’ or perhaps getting sick. So, it’s up to us to take care of ourselves. It always has been and will always be. Let me make the distinction between judgment and discernment. Discernment means you merely notice; judgment means you make an emotional decision about whether it is good or bad, right or wrong.

Usually what I dislike about myself is what I see in others. It is mirrored back to me when I interact with them. For example, when someone is not being responsible, not living up to their commitments and I feel angry or put-upon by this, I need to look at myself and see where I am not living up to my own commitments. Likely, for me, it is in the area of my commitment to not judge others.

Or let’s say your girlfriend is very jealous of your friendships with your colleagues; if you have sincerely done nothing to warrant her jealously, then this is all about her, and it will roll off your back like water. You might merely say, “Sweetheart, I am totally committed to you.” I am assuming that your behavior will prove this. However, if you get upset and go into your cave or lose your temper over, then it becomes about you and your own insecurities.

Conversely, when we withhold judgment on a person, then judgment can never trip us up. Imagine the possibilities. Imagine what a peaceful, respectful, kind and forgiving world we could inhabit if we just stopped judging others.

Were you aware of this universal law? Did you know that it works this way? How else can we see ourselves except by seeing ourselves in others? When we can be strong enough to become the observer of our own behaviors and notice our thoughts about others short of judging them as being wrong; we’ll be able to lay aside much pain in life. Don’t beat yourself up over the past judgments, just begin to look forward. Decide to look beyond the behaviors to the essence of the other person and come from a place of compassion and acceptance. After all, isn’t that what you want from others?

Today, make up your mind to focus on what is right and you’ll protect yourself from your own ‘evil eye’.

Author's Bio: 

Judy Irving is an Executive Coach, author, trainer and speaker. She works one-on-one with business leaders to bring out their best (talents, strengths, skills) in order to reach their goals and vision. Her mission is to assist others in transforming the way they look at life and give them the tools to do it.