Why/How Am I in This Situation?

There are many changes happening in our world lately. This can seem challenging and bring about fear and negative thoughts and actions for many people. Reacting to changing situations around us is common and normal for most of us during these times, however it is not always productive in the long-term to stay in constant negativity and fear if you want to move forward and be more successful. In this article I am going to show you why you may be in the situation you are in, and how you can change it instantly by changing these 3 things...

The most common question I get asked in my private sessions with my coaching clients is- "Why/How Am I In This Situation?" This question can be asked of me regarding money, career, job, dating, relationships, men, women, marriage, children, happiness... etc!

There are many individual and specific answers and advice I can give to this question, however I find there are THREE common reasons we find ourselves in certain undesirable situations and even some of you may find yourself in them repeatedly!

Let’s look at THREE of the reasons you may find yourself in the situation you are in...

You Are Focusing on what you don’t want - Whatever we focus on, we draw to us (whether you like or believe in this or not). Don’t you remember being excited about a specific car you wanted, with certain features, then you saw that car 10 more times that day and week. INSTEAD: Focus on what you want - like professional athletes like Tiger Woods and gymnasts and skiers do. Tiger visualizes the ball going in the hole, not on losing it or hitting it into the pond.

Coaching can be helpful for those that are looking for the "right" mate, helping you to focus everyday on the qualities they want to experience and feel with that new partner, instead of fearing you will never find anyone and focusing on being alone. A coaching can help you discover and define the qualities you want in a man in my or you can do the exercise found in my new book The Cinderella System.

You Are Holding Onto the Past - Many of you are still holding onto resentments, hurts, anger about past lovers, partners, jobs, bosses, the house you used to live in, the money you used to make, or any situation in the past in a negative way, thus negativity is following you because you haven’t worked through these and let them go. INSTEAD: Allow yourself to think, write and feel thoroughly about these incidents, work with a coach to help you release negative emotions and the unfulfilled fantasy associated with this past situation. This work will help you to make room for another, better opportunity to come in. If all your emotional space is filled up with negativity, no positive new situation can come into your life to occupy that space.

You Are Staying in Negative Emotions - Many of you continue to exist in the world 24/7 feeling sad, unhappy, resentful, jealous, feeling like a victim, feeling mad but entitled to everything, feeling left out, feeling unattractive, feeling out of luck, less fortunate, like a waste...these are not emotions that attract people or a lot of good opportunities to you!

Actually there was a recent survey that asked people "what makes them feel attracted or comfortable with others?" The results showed that people were attracted to Positive Energy, Confidence, a Person's Smile, Clean and Proper Attire, Nice Hair and Make-up, Being Put Together, Healthy Weight, Good Posture, Optimistic Tone, Attitude and Words, people who are Kind and Nice to Others. So overall this survey concluded that people respond to other people who have positive traits and features- they will offer jobs to these people, help them out more often, be attracted to them physically and romantically, approach them more often and generally want to be around them more than often than negative people.

If you are one of the people who seem to be stuck in this kind of negative swamp (I call it the poopie place) where you are displaying these types of negative and unproductive behaviors, NOT TO WORRY, there is hope for you! Seek out a qualified coach. Personally, I offer private coaching over the phone and at my offices in Culver City, CA, and I offer various events during the year.

Remember: In order to be the person you have never been, In order to have the life and relationships you have never had, You must do what you have never done before.