Who Are You and What Do You Do?

As I was 'out and about' these past few weeks, visiting different networking groups in the local area, the first question that is typically asked is "Who are you and what do you do?"

Now, that question can evoke a ton of emotion within us. For many women in business, and in life in general, (yes, I know this is a sexist comment – but, it's also based on my own observations.), this question alone causes:
• Heart palpitations
• Redness on the neck and face
• Nervous hand gestures
• Sweaty palms, and so much more.

The internal, self-imposed, tension and pressure can be overwhelming for many women. For men, not so much – they have had much more exposure and experience to the whole networking situation.

What causes this level of anxiety? From my observations, I would suggest:
• Negative self-talk ("I'm not as good as", "as smart as", "as eloquent as", "can't do this", etc.)
• Lack of preparation
• Lack of clarity as to how to communicate exactly what we do
• Feeling shy
• Lack of practice
• Lack of self-confidence – to name but a few reasons.

Some of the habits I've observed, in networking situations and in public as well, include staying with the small group of people that you know (comfort zone issues), not even going to an event because just the thought of it is 'too much to handle', lack of eye contact, standing with arms crossed (not very welcoming!), etc.

Well, the thing is, people are everywhere. Call it 'networking' if you want, but from what I can see, we can all stand to learn a few basic 'human interaction' skills for when we are in a situation, and have the opportunity, to meet new people – at home, at work, at church, at play.

Even when I was on my world tour, I embraced the opportunity to meet new people – heck, there was a plane-load of them! We know that, as human beings, we all just want to be part of a group, to be loved and to be respected.

I want to share some great information about networking – here are just a few tips to get you going:
1. Do you have enough business cards (and have you brought them with you)? You would be surprised how many people 'forget' to bring their cards with them – I always have a supply with me – in my purse, in my car, in my jacket when I'm out power walking too! You NEVER know when you are going to meet someone who wants to connect with you later.
2. Do your homework! Who attends the event? Make a list of people you would like to meet. When I first moved to London, I attended a premiere fund-raising event. I was invited by a new business associate. Prior to going into the building, I said to her – "I'd appreciate your help in meeting 3 of the top leaders in the city who will be here – who are progressive, authentic, positive and effective, have decision-making abilities and who would be open-minded to the kind of work I do." Mission accomplished!
3. How exactly will you meet and greet new people? (practice what you are going to say – I have a habit of listening to the other person first so that I get some perspective on what I am going to say in return, with respect to 'what I do')
4. What questions have you prepared? Will you talk about community events, TV shows ("Dragon's Den", for instance), family events? BE an interesting person.
5. Plan on how you will exit a conversation strategically and move on to meet other people.
6. Plan on how you will manage food, beverage, conversation all at the same time (when it's a 'standing' situation, I keep it simple and never try to juggle a drink, along with a plate of food – it's just easier that way.)

Those are just a few of my favorite tips. When I work with my coaching clients, I am always stressing the importance of meeting new people, being prepared, focus on developing relationships (again, whether that's at home, at work, at play, at church or in the neighborhood) and just be YOU!

"I am part of all that I have met." – Lord Tennyson, 1809-1892, English Poet

Being around people, and having the opportunity to develop relationships, is essential to our well-being. So, next time you are out, anywhere, and someone asks the question: "Who are you and what do you do?" – be prepared. More importantly, learn to ask the other person – and listen, with genuine interest. We all want to be heard and validated. Start today!

I've shared just a few of my favorite tips. What is your best piece of advice when it comes to networking – what has worked well for you?

Assignment
1. Plan to attend a new networking event this week as you focus on building your business and your network. Stretch your comfort zone, to build your confidence and courage.

2. Next time you are at church, at a soccer game, a social event – look around for someone who may be there by themselves. Reach out. If it's not a business networking event, then ask the question: "Who are you and what do you do for fun in life?" (or some such question, to get the ball rolling....)
Do some of these exercises and I guarantee that you will start to live your best life. When you try new things, you are developing the confidence and courage to move forward and invent the life you truly want to live.