What Are You Holding Back?

Many of my clients share their deepest dreams that they have shelved and buried deep.

I always ask, "hmmm..why?"

The answers is inevitably, "because..."

Because the kids need new shoes and and braces.

Because my mortgage is still over $200,000.

Because I need to provide a home and food on the table for my family.

Because the team needs me.

Because my business isn't where it needs to be yet.

Because you're full of excuses and shoulds that have no place running your life.

That's the real answer.

We tend to invent reasons and walls around why we're not living the life we really want to live.

But the truth is we all have a choice in how we run our lives.

Choices are not without their consequences. However the worry about consequences is often worse than the actual fall out. Besides which we almost always underestimate our capacity to handle the process.

Human beings have an enormous capacity to handle grief, pain, struggle, change. Like my client whose mother is about to pass away this week. Like my client whose 20 year old niece is in hospital with advanced stages of cancer, undergoing surgery and chemotherapy. Like my cousin who is wrestling with yet another miscarriage.

And I've got my own plummets of emotional despair: my own cancer journey five years ago, my three year odyssey in failed IVF attempts, my business that has not yet cracked the seven-figure mark.

This stuff hurts. A lot.

All that pain is just emotional surges, and emotions are simply 'energy in motion'. Grief is just energy - it moves through you eventually. And you can handle it. More than you can imagine.

If you quit your dead-end job will there be consequences? Yes. You may have to work elsewhere. You may not work at all for sometime. You may need to sell your house. You may have to stop getting your nails done.

The question you need to ask is, "what is it really costing me to stay where I am? Is the discomfort of the unknown and change worth launching into so I can live an authentic life?"

"If I died tomorrow would I be satisfied with my choices?"

You've got to decide whether living a life of meaning and joy is worth sacrificing the comfort of the status quo, especially when the status quo is less than comfortable.

There are no guarantees of success. You are likely to fail. Many times. You may feel lost, alone, scared, want to give up, pissed off, and angry. From time to time.

But then there is the inner knowing that this is your life, your journey, that no matter what you will keep looking for a way to accomplish your goal, to feel the dream real.

There is one guarantee: when you step beyond what you know, you grow.

Coach's Challenge:

When did you take a risk into the unknown? What happened? What did you learn? What are you prepared to let go of in order to explore the unknown again?

And my unrelenting invitation to hear your comments and stories - please share how you broke free when you felt held back, or if you feel held back now, what is keeping you stuck? There are many wise heads reading this bog - I invite all and sundry to comment and assist.