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Articles from Rick Hanson | Selfgrowth.com
- What Doesn't Change? - by Submitted on May 22, 2017 from Rick HansonThings keep changing. The clock ticks, the day unfolds, trees grow, leaves turn brown, hair turns gray, children grow up and leave home, attention skitters from this to that, the cookie is delicious but then it's all gone, you're mad about something for awhile and then get over it, consciousness ...
Views: 913 - When Is It “Time To Fold ‘em?” - by Submitted on May 15, 2017 from Rick HansonMost people, me included, are holding onto at least one thing way past its expiration date. It could be a belief, perhaps that your hair is falling out and you are ugly and unlovable as a result, that you can’t say what you really feel in an intimate relationship, or that you must lose ten ...
Views: 1021 - What's To Like? - by Submitted on May 08, 2017 from Rick HansonLiking feels good, plus it encourages us to approach and engage the world rather than withdraw from it. Your brain continually tracks whether something is pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. In essence, is it a carrot, a stick, or safely ignored? Naturally, we like - we enjoy - what's pleasant, ...
Views: 1004 - What Makes Your Life? - by Submitted on May 01, 2017 from Rick HansonWant to try a little experiment? Stop breathing. Really. For a few seconds, maybe a few dozen seconds, and see how it feels. For me, this experiment is an intimate way to experience a deep truth, that we live dependently, relying on 10,000 things for physical survival, happiness, love, and ...
Views: 906 - What’s Your Deepest Nature? - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2017 from Rick HansonThroughout history, people have wondered about human nature. Deep down, are we basically good or bad? Recently, science is beginning to offer a persuasive answer. When the body is not disturbed by hunger, thirst, pain, or illness, and when the mind is not disturbed by threat, frustration, or ...
Views: 1157 - What's Up With These people? - by Submitted on Apr 17, 2017 from Rick HansonResearch shows that relationships are built from interactions, and interactions are built from moments. A critical moment in an interaction is when one person wants something from the other one. ("Wants" include wishes, needs, desires, hopes, and longings.) The want could be simple and concrete, ...
Views: 895 - Who’s Left Off Your Gift List? - by Submitted on Apr 10, 2017 from Rick HansonCan you remember a time when you offered a gift to someone? Perhaps a holiday present, or a treat to a child, or taking time for a friend – or anything at all. How did this feel? Researchers have found that giving stimulates the same neural networks that light up when we feel physical pleasure, ...
Views: 902 - Are You Thinking Too Much? - by Submitted on Apr 03, 2017 from Rick HansonThe traditional saying that's this week's practice has been sinking in for me lately. Thoughts have been swirling around like a sandstorm about work, things I've been reading, household tasks, finances, concerns about people, a yard that needs mowing, loose ends, projects, etc. etc. The other ...
Views: 1152 - When Are You? - by Submitted on Mar 27, 2017 from Rick HansonThere’s a profound and miraculous mystery right under our noses: this instant of now has no duration at all, yet somehow it contains all the causes from the past that are creating the future. Everything arising to become this moment vanishes beneath our feet as the next moment wells up. Since ...
Views: 1013 - Do You Bear a Grudge? - by Submitted on Mar 20, 2017 from Rick HansonGoodwill and ill will are about intention: the will is for good or ill. These intentions are expressed through action and inaction, word and deed, and-especially-thoughts. How do you feel when you sense another person taking potshots at you in her mind? What does it feel like to take potshots of ...
Views: 1058 - Do People Ever Make You Mad? - by Submitted on Mar 14, 2017 from Rick HansonAs the most social and loving species on the planet, we have the wonderful ability and inclination to connect with others, be empathic, cooperate, care, and love. On the other hand, we also have the capacity and inclination to be fearfully aggressive toward any individual or group we regard as ...
Views: 980 - Can You Come Home To Yourself? - by Submitted on Mar 06, 2017 from Rick HansonMeditation is to the mind what aerobic exercise is to the body. Like exercise, there are many good ways to do it and you can find the one that suits you best. Studies have shown that regular meditation promotes mindfulness (sustained observing awareness), whose benefits include decreased ...
Views: 1090 - Are You Doing Too Much? - by Submitted on Feb 21, 2017 from Rick HansonYou may have seen the old Mickey Mouse movie in which he is working at a conveyor belt in a factory. More and more widgets come at him that he has to handle, and he gets increasingly frazzled as he struggles to keep up. Do you ever feel the same way? Think about all the dishes, emails, ...
Views: 1063 - What's Precious To You? - by Submitted on Feb 14, 2017 from Rick HansonThe word, sacred, has two kinds of meanings. First, it can refer to something related to religion or spirituality. Second, more broadly, it can refer to something that one cherishes, that is precious, to which one is respectfully, even reverently, dedicated, such as honesty with one's life ...
Views: 930 - What's The Hurry? - by Submitted on Feb 06, 2017 from Rick HansonAs I was meditating this morning, our cat hopped up in my lap. It felt sweet to sit there with him. And yet - even though I was feeling fine and had plenty of time, there was this internal pressure to start zipping along with emails and calls and all the other clamoring minutiae of the ...
Views: 931 - To What Is Your Mind Given? - by Submitted on Jan 31, 2017 from Rick HansonI'm old enough to remember a time when people usually answered "good" when you asked them the standard, "How are you?" (often said "harya?"). These days the answer is commonly "busy." In the last few months I've been very busy myself and starting to feel dispersed: juggling a dozen priorities ...
Views: 974 - Are You Breathing? - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2017 from Rick Hanson[If for you the breath is associated with trauma and discomfort, you probably shouldn't try this practice in its form below. But you might adapt it to something that is more nurturing for you, such as a saying or image.] Breathing brings you home. Body and mind twine together in the breath. ...
Views: 1114 - Where Are You Headed? - by Submitted on Jan 16, 2017 from Rick HansonThe Practice. I recently did a meditation retreat (at Spirit Rock, wonderful place, including for workshops). One evening as we walked out of the hall after the last sit, I was feeling rattled and discombobulated. (One of the benefits of a retreat - though it can be uncomfortable - is that it ...
Views: 987 - Wishing well? - by Submitted on Jan 09, 2017 from Rick HansonLately, I've been wondering what would be on my personal list of top five practices (all tied for first place). You might ask yourself the same question, knowing that you can cluster related practices under a single umbrella, your list may differ from mine, and your practices may change over ...
Views: 1029 - What Can I Do? - by Submitted on Jan 04, 2017 from Rick HansonI'm doing a series on my personal top five practices (all tied for first place), and have so far named three: meditate (including mindfulness, self-awareness, and, if you like, prayer), take in the good, and bless (including compassion, generosity, and love). I saw one way to bless on a ...
Views: 901 - Is There Enough? - by Submitted on Dec 26, 2016 from Rick HansonOne slice of the pie of life feels relaxed and contented. And then there is that other slice, in which we feel driven and stressed. Trying to get pleasures, avoid pains, pile up accomplishments and recognitions, be loved by more people. Lose more weight, try to fill the hole in the heart. Slake ...
Views: 1313 - What's Carrying You? - by Submitted on Dec 20, 2016 from Rick HansonFeeling both the world and myself these days, one phrase keeps calling: lived by love. Explicitly, this means coming from love in a broad sense, from compassion, good intentions, self-control, warmth, finding what's to like, caring, connecting, and kindness. Implicitly, and more ...
Views: 876 - What Are You Bracing Against? - by Submitted on Dec 13, 2016 from Rick HansonThe title of this practice is a little tongue-in-cheek. What I mean is, most of us - me included - spend time worrying about criticism: past, present, and even future. Yes, try hard, keep agreements, "don't be evil," etc. But sooner or later - usually sooner - someone is going to point out the ...
Views: 889 - Are You Getting Rope Burn? - by Submitted on Dec 05, 2016 from Rick HansonAs a rock climber and a parent, I know some physical kinds of clinging are good - like to small holds or small hands! But clinging as a psychological state has a feeling of tension in it, and drivenness, insistence, obsession, or compulsion. As experiences flow through the mind - seeing, ...
Views: 1139 - Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall, What Are The Deepest Wants Of All? - by Submitted on Nov 28, 2016 from Rick HansonI did my Ph.D. dissertation by videotaping 20 mother-toddler pairs and analyzing what happened when the mom offered an alternative to a problematic want ("not the chainsaw, sweetie, how about this red truck"). Hundreds of bleary eyed hours later, I found that offering alternatives reduced child ...
Views: 943 - What Is Your Sense Of Peace? - by Submitted on Nov 21, 2016 from Rick Hanson“Peace” can sound merely sentimental or clichéd (“visualize whirled peas”). But deep down, it’s what most of us long for. Consider the proverb: The highest happiness is peace. Not a peace inside that ignores pain in oneself or others, or is acquired by shutting down. This is a durable peace, ...
Views: 956 - What Can I Do? - by Submitted on Nov 14, 2016 from Rick HansonI'm doing a series on my personal top five practices (all tied for first place), and have so far named three: meditate (including mindfulness, self-awareness, and, if you like, prayer), take in the good, and bless (including compassion, generosity, and love). I saw one way to bless on a ...
Views: 956 - What Are You Resisting? - by Submitted on Nov 07, 2016 from Rick HansonAs general clusters that each include a number of specific methods, my Top 5 types of practices (all tied for first place) are: * Be mindful * Love * Take in the good * Go green * Open out So far, I’ve written about the first four of these clusters, and you can click the links just above ...
Views: 980 - Who Are You Resisting? - by Submitted on Oct 31, 2016 from Rick HansonI admit it: whether close to home or far away, I wish some people were different. Depending on who they are, I wish they'd stop doing things like leaving cabinet doors open in our kitchen, sending me spam emails, or turning a blind eye to global warming. And I wish they'd start doing things like ...
Views: 1216 - What's Changing? - by Submitted on Oct 24, 2016 from Rick HansonThe fifth of my personal Top 5 practices (all tied for first place) is open out, by which I mean relaxing into a growing sense of connection, even oneness, with all things. (The other four are be mindful, love, take in the good, and go green.) "Opening out" can sound kind of airy-fairy or ...
Views: 1000 - Is It Hard? - by Submitted on Oct 17, 2016 from Rick HansonSometimes things are difficult. Your legs are tired and you still have to stay on your feet another hour at work. You love a child who's finding her independence through emotional distance from you. A long-term relationship could be losing its spark. It's finals week in college. You're trying to ...
Views: 1027 - What Helps You Carry Your Load? - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2016 from Rick HansonWe're all carrying a load, including tasks, challenges, worries, inner criticism, mistreatment from others, physical and emotional pain, loss and illness now or later, and everyday stresses and frustrations. Take a moment to get a sense of your own load. It's very real, isn't it? Recognizing ...
Views: 921 - Out Of Balance? - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2016 from Rick HansonBy "sobriety," I mean healthy self-control, a centered enjoyment of life, and an inner freedom from drivenness. We typically apply this sense of balance and self-care to things like food, drugs and alcohol, sexuality, money, and risky behaviors. And if you like, you could bring sobriety to other ...
Views: 989 - Do You Got To? - by Submitted on Sep 26, 2016 from Rick HansonWe're pulled and prodded by financial pressures, commuter traffic, corporate policies, technology, advertising, politics, and the people we work with and live with. As well, internal forces yank the proverbial chains, including emotional reactions, compelling desires, "shoulds," and internalized ...
Views: 1055 - What Would Bear Lots Of Fruit? - by Submitted on Sep 19, 2016 from Rick HansonMy wife and kids tease me that the title of this practice is corny - and it is. Still, I like it. If you don't nourish the things that nourish you, they wither away like a plant in dry stony ground. Looking to the year ahead for you - a year that can begin whenever you want - what's one key ...
Views: 897 - Are You Nurturing Your Body? - by Submitted on Sep 12, 2016 from Rick HansonWhy? [Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture.] The easiest and usually most effective way to replenish your body is through good nutrition. Most of us have a diet that is very different from the one that we are adapted to through millions of years of evolution - a diet of mainly ...
Views: 1091 - Are You Feeling Cross? - by Submitted on Sep 05, 2016 from Rick Hanson[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ...
Views: 1102 - Are You Working Together? - by Submitted on Aug 29, 2016 from Rick Hanson[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ...
Views: 1074 - Are You Self-Nurturing? - by Submitted on Aug 22, 2016 from Rick Hanson[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ...
Views: 1067 - Are You Taking Care Of Yourself? - by Submitted on Aug 15, 2016 from Rick Hanson[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture, a book written for mothers - focusing on typical parenting situations and gender differences that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers and fathers, and by parents in same sex relationships. Parenting is a complex subject, plus it ...
Views: 1053 - Can You Take a Moment? - by Submitted on Aug 09, 2016 from Rick Hanson[Note: This JOT is adapted from Mother Nurture - a book written for mothers - focusing on typical situations that are experienced by many, though not all, mothers during the years before their children enter grade school. These are most commonly the years when mothers (biological and adoptive) ...
Views: 1030 - Does It Feel Safe With Other People? - by Submitted on Aug 01, 2016 from Rick HansonWe all know this fear. You're walking down a street, someone you don't know comes toward you, and there's a second or more of wariness, scanning, apprehension, and tension or bracing in the body: a barely conscious assessment of possible threat. Or you step into a meeting with people you know ...
Views: 960 - What Does Your Heart Say? - by Submitted on Jul 25, 2016 from Rick HansonMany years ago, I was in a significant relationship in which the other person started doing things that surprised and hurt me. I'll preserve the privacy here so I won't be concrete, but it was pretty intense. After going through the first wave of reactions - What?! How could you? Are you kidding ...
Views: 885 - Are You All Over The Place? - by Submitted on Jul 18, 2016 from Rick HansonGravity and entropy are powerful processes in the natural world. Gravity draws things together, toward a center, while entropy scatters them into disorder. In much the same way, in our own lives, some things bring us to center, while others disturb and disperse us. In terms of centering, be ...
Views: 1161 - What Are You Doing? - by Submitted on Jul 11, 2016 from Rick HansonMost people spend most minutes of most days doing one thing after another. I sure do. Typing these words is a kind of doing, as is driving to work, making dinner, brushing one's teeth, or putting the kids to bed. For all the "labor-saving" devices of the past 50 years - dishwashers, phone ...
Views: 916 - What Would Make a Difference Inside You? - by Submitted on Jun 27, 2016 from Rick HansonWe all have issues - including demands upon us, stresses, illnesses, losses, vulnerabilities, and pain. (As Alan Watts put it: "Life is wiggly.") Of course, many of our issues - in the broad sense I'm using the word here - are related to important sources of fulfillment, such as starting a ...
Views: 911 - How Do You Love? - by Submitted on Jun 20, 2016 from Rick HansonIn my early 20's, I went through Rolfing, a form of deep-tissue bodywork, and I nervously anticipated the 5th session, the one that goes deep into the belly. But instead of gobs of repressed emotional pain, what poured out was love - waves and waves of love that I'd pushed down due to ...
Views: 1014 - What's Left Out? - by Submitted on Jun 14, 2016 from Rick HansonWhen I look back on mistakes I've made - like dumping my anger on someone, making assumptions in haste, partying too much, losing my nerve, being afraid to speak from my heart - in all cases a part of me had taken over. You know what I mean. The parts of us that have a partial view, are driven ...
Views: 1130 - What's in Your Mind? - by Submitted on Jun 06, 2016 from Rick HansonIt's kind of amazing: right now, what you think and feel, enjoy and suffer, is changing your brain. The brain is the organ that learns, designed by evolution to be changed by our experiences: what scientists call experience-dependent neuroplasticity. Neurons that fire together, wire together. ...
Views: 908 - Can You Stay Open To The Pain Of Others? - by Submitted on May 23, 2016 from Rick HansonHumans are an empathic, compassionate, and loving species, so it is natural to feel sad, worried, or fiery about the troubles and pain of other people. (And about those of cats and dogs and other animals, but I'll focus on human beings here.) Long ago, the Buddha spoke of the "first dart" of ...
Views: 1107