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Articles from Peggy Ferguson | Selfgrowth.com
- A Relapse Prevention Tool - Emotional Cues for Cravings in Relapse Worksheet - by Submitted on Jul 25, 2009 from Peggy FergusonWe experience sensory, emotional/psychological, cognitive, environmental, and physical cues on a daily basis in early recovery. These cues or triggers, if left unchecked can turn into powerful cravings for the chemical. Cravings can lead to relapse. In order to avoid relapse it is crucial that ...
Views: 13957(2 votes) - Addiction and Recovery: The Cross Addiction Worksheet - by Submitted on Feb 13, 2010 from Peggy FergusonMany recovering people who begin the process of becoming clean and sober, harbor the notion that they can continue to hang on to some remnants of an old drinking/using lifestyle. They often initially believe that specific drugs are The Problem. Initially alcoholics/addicts may not consider use ...
Views: 13551(4 votes) - Addiction Recovery Worksheet For Identifying Healthy Replacements for the Alcohol and Drugs - by Submitted on Jun 16, 2010 from Peggy FergusonOne of the most important tasks of early recovery from alcohol and other drug addiction is learning to replace the chemical with health living skills. When you have taken the chemical out of your life, it leaves a big gaping hole, where something of substance was. Alcohol or other drugs have ...
Views: 11104(2 votes) - Addiction and Recovery: The Social and Environmental Triggers Worksheet - by Submitted on Jul 25, 2009 from Peggy FergusonAssociations between particular feelings, people, places, and events becomes intertwined with the alcoholic or addicts drinking and drugging behavior. When alcoholics and addicts find their way to recovery, the old associations between the drinking and drugging and the old feeling, people, ...
Views: 10513(2 votes) - Quitting Pot: 16 Steps to Help You Quit and Stay Quit - by Submitted on Jul 25, 2009 from Peggy FergusonOk, so you have decided that your life needs a little help and to accomplish this, you have decided to quit smoking pot. You have flushed or given away your stash. You have gotten rid of the paraphernalia. It has been a couple of days since you smoked pot and you're feeling cranky. You are not ...
Views: 8206(3 votes) - Family Dynamics of Addiction: Anger in Early Recovery - by Submitted on Feb 04, 2011 from Peggy Ferguson“Angry”, “mad”, “irritable”, “frustrated”, “annoyed”, “irate”, “seething”, “agitated”, and “cranky” are all labels for anger. This list, although it could be a lot longer, reflects varying degrees in intensity of anger. Anger, although a normal emotion, can be problematic for recovering ...
Views: 8108 - Working Through Feelings in Addiction Recovery - by Submitted on Jul 25, 2009 from Peggy FergusonOne of the most important tasks necessary for maintaining abstinence and growing in recovery is learning how to appropriately work through feelings. Many people use alcohol and other drugs in place of dealing with or managing emotions. Alcoholism/drug addiction often involves skill deficits. ...
Views: 8101(1 vote) - Guide to Eliminating Deception and Dishonesty - How to Get Real in Addiction Recovery - by Submitted on Jul 29, 2009 from Peggy FergusonMany people, while active in addiction, engage in deceptive, dishonest behavior, and diversionary tactics. These are part and parcel of addiction and the need to keep the extent of their problem hidden. It is difficult to juggle all the demands of being addicted with all the "normal" demands of ...
Views: 7164(2 votes) - Couple Communication: How to De-escalate A Discussion - by Submitted on Aug 20, 2010 from Peggy FergusonMany couples get into a dysfunctional pattern of conflict escalation and withdrawal as they attempt to discuss the problems and issues in their life. Each unsuccessful attempt to solve the identified problem sets the tone for the next time that they attempt to resolve the issue. Unresolved ...
Views: 6733(2 votes) - Breaking the Stalemate: Using Cognitive Therapy to Change Your Marriage - by Submitted on Feb 11, 2011 from Peggy FergusonCouples often come to counseling in a last ditch effort to avoid divorce and save the marriage. They have many goals and objectives in mind, often involving helping the therapist fix the other spouse. The real underlying goal is often the desire to restore the positive feelings toward the ...
Views: 6607 - Six guidelines on how to improve your patience and tolerance for your family during the holidays - by Submitted on Dec 11, 2009 from Peggy FergusonMost people experience a great deal of stress in that period of time between Thanksgiving and New Years, fondly known as “The Holidays”. Many of us, find ourselves becoming irritable, with our patience and tolerance stretched to the limit. Much of the impatience and intolerance involves ...
Views: 6426(7 votes) - Addiction and Recovery: Do You Need Detox After Relapse? - by Submitted on Nov 07, 2009 from Peggy FergusonWhile most people realize that relapse is a common experience for addicts in recovery, they often do not know how to get back on track after relapsing on alcohol or other mood altering drugs. Although relapse is commonplace, it is predictable, and thus preventable. For many recovering ...
Views: 6369(3 votes) - Using The “Cognitive Therapy for the Holidays” Worksheet To Reduce Your Holiday Stress - by Submitted on Nov 23, 2010 from Peggy FergusonTry a little cognitive therapy to reduce your holiday stress. Cognitive therapy examines the thoughts and beliefs that lead to feelings, and thus to behavior. Everyone has some cognitive distortions which are irrational ideas, thoughts, or beliefs, that get in the way of optimal functioning. ...
Views: 5753(3 votes) - Family Dynamics of Addiction: Family Systems Can Work for or Against Your Recovery - by Submitted on May 24, 2009 from Peggy FergusonAlcoholics/addicts do not normally live in a circle made up exclusively of alcoholics and addicts. Most people suffering from addictions have a multitude of people in their lives who are affected by the addiction. Even alcoholics and addicts that are estranged from their significant others, ...
Views: 5462 - Couple Communication: Back to Basics To Improve Your Relationship and Restore Happiness - by Submitted on Oct 26, 2009 from Peggy FergusonOne of the most important tools to develop or restore communication skills is the use of “I” messages. "I" messages are not as likely to elicit defensiveness. They actually increase the probability that your message(s) will be heard. With this simple change in how you communicate with your ...
Views: 4981(2 votes) - Cross Addiction and Relapse - Examples and Relationships - by Submitted on Jul 29, 2009 from Peggy FergusonCross addiction is one of the leading causes of relapse in early recovery. Cross-addiction involves being addicted to all mood altering drugs. The following are illustrations of cross addiction. 1. Some people become cross-addicted in their efforts to camouflage their addiction. ...
Views: 4751(2 votes) - Addiction and Recovery: Drinking or Using Dreams as a Normal Part of Recovery - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2009 from Peggy FergusonWhen you have a drinking or using dream, you may wake up not really knowing if it actually happened. Many people in early recovery find it disturbing and frightening when they experience a "using" dream. Drinking and using dreams are those dreams where the central theme or experience is about ...
Views: 4746(2 votes) - Addiction and Recovery: The Emotional Highs and Lows of Early Recovery - by Submitted on Sep 21, 2009 from Peggy FergusonWhen someone makes a decision to get the help that they need to quit drinking and using other drugs, everything begins to change. As an addict’s body begins to detox and as she is consciously trying to interrupt the momentum of addicted use of a chemical (including alcohol), she goes through ...
Views: 4731(2 votes) - Family Members Know You are Going to Relapse in Your Addiction Before You Do - Listen Up - by Submitted on Jul 25, 2009 from Peggy FergusonThe family dynamics of recovery is rarely smooth sailing. Relapse, which is a process, has a tremendously negative effect on significant others. Family members who have labored and struggled to remain with the addict through all the active years of addiction, to assist them in finding their way ...
Views: 4677(1 vote) - Addiction and Recovery: Don't Let Grief Over the Loss of Alcohol Derail Your Transition Into Recovery - by Submitted on Feb 23, 2010 from Peggy FergusonOne of the common experiences of the earliest efforts toward quitting drinking and becoming sober, is grief over the loss of the chemical. For many people with an alcohol or other drug problem, the chemical, (whether it is alcohol or oxycodone) has become the addict's best friend and constant ...
Views: 4633(2 votes) - Addiction and Recovery: Prevent Relapse By Making Good Choices - by Submitted on Jul 29, 2009 from Peggy FergusonRelapse is a process that occurs over time, in the context of significant decisions. Many people who relapse say that drinking or using was the furthest thing from their mind just before they consumed the chemical. In reality, most of the time, relapse was in process some time before the ...
Views: 4478(2 votes) - Addiction and Recovery: Preventing Relapse After Surgery - by Submitted on May 19, 2009 from Peggy FergusonYou are ultimately responsible for your own addiction recovery. When you know that you have to have surgery, it is important to keep everyone treating you informed about your recovery and addiction history, including the names of the drugs, the amounts, the lengths of time that you took them, ...
Views: 4438(1 vote) - Addiction Recovery: 12 Do's and Don'ts For the Family While the Alcoholic is in Rehab - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2009 from Peggy FergusonYour significant other finally went to rehab. With all the events leading up to his agreeing to go to treatment, it may feel like a let-down. You may have breathed a big sigh of relief as you drove away from the airport or the treatment center after dropping him or her off. You may feel hope. ...
Views: 4412(2 votes) - Family Dynamics of Addiction and Recovery: 14 Enabling Behaviors to Quit Now - by Submitted on May 24, 2009 from Peggy FergusonFamily members, in their attempts to solve the problem of a loved one's addiction, try every thing they can think of, to turn the addict's life back around. They usually identify the problem incorrectly for a long time before it becomes obvious to them that addiction is the real problem. ...
Views: 4392(2 votes) - Addiction and Recovery: Ten Common Myths about Alcohol and Drug Addiction - by Submitted on Jul 25, 2009 from Peggy FergusonPeople who don't know much about alcohol and other drug addiction, often buy into common myths and stereotypes about addiction and addicts. It is important to replace mistaken assumptions and judgments about addiction, so that you can approach those afflicted with the illness, with compassion ...
Views: 4062(1 vote) - Addiction and Recovery: Plan Your Vacation, Not Your Relapse! - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2009 from Peggy FergusonWhen facing the loss of most of one’s structure in situations like vacation or business trips, relapsive thinking can return, even in established, stable recovery. The relapse thoughts can include some of the below, but this is not an all inclusive lists. When planning a vacation or business ...
Views: 3902(2 votes) - How Do You Know if Infidelity is a Symptom of Sexual Addiction: 10 Indicators - by Submitted on May 08, 2009 from Peggy FergusonYou have just discovered or been informed of your partner's infidelity. You are in shock. You are confused, angry, immobilized, depressed, and thinking you will absolutely go crazy. In the midst of all this, you keep hearing about "sexual addiction" in the media and you wonder if it is sexual ...
Views: 3853 - Six Super Simple Guidelines for Developing Your Communication Skills By Improving Your Ability to Listen - by Submitted on Nov 05, 2009 from Peggy FergusonBuilding a solid foundation for the development of good communication skills involves learning how to listen effectively. There are several elements of effective listening. These elements include attention, reflection, ability to tolerate tension, and ability to challenge the assumptions that ...
Views: 3844(4 votes) - Couple Communication: Overcoming Roadblocks to Communication to Maintain or Regain Your Marital Happiness - by Submitted on Oct 30, 2009 from Peggy FergusonMost people want to have a loving, committed, happy marriage. And they think they know what will make for that happy marriage. Some of the characteristics often identified as making up a stable and loving relationship include: trust, love, respect, honesty, and faithfulness, among other ...
Views: 3828 - Addiction and Recovery: Cross Addiction and Relapse: 5 Cross Addiction Relapse Prevent Tips - by Submitted on Jul 29, 2009 from Peggy FergusonAlthough definitions of "Addiction" seem to be continuing to evolve, addiction is still "a primary, chronic, progressive, and relapsing disease". The last decade of research has led to a refined definition of addiction as a "brain disease which is manifested by compulsive behavior". Cross ...
Views: 3766(1 vote) - Addiction Recovery Tools: Why You Want to Learn to Forgive in Recovery - by Submitted on Jul 23, 2009 from Peggy FergusonAlthough forgiveness is an important part of working through feelings, and thus, a tool of recovery and the healing process, it is an often neglected topic. People often erroneously equate forgiveness with forgetting. The best definition that I ever heard for forgiveness is simply "giving up ...
Views: 3667(2 votes) - Couple Communication: Can You Really Not Communicate? - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2010 from Peggy FergusonI often hear couples complain that they cannot talk about anything. Does that really happen? Think about what would happen in your relationship if you really, literally could not talk to your spouse--about anything. How would you exchange information about work, daily routines, groceries and ...
Views: 3564(1 vote) - One More Essential Tool For Preventing Relapse in Early Addiction Recovery - by Submitted on Nov 08, 2009 from Peggy FergusonMost non-addicted people have routines and organizing structures in their lives that help provide stability. An addict's lifestyle is often one of chaotic instability and disorganization. A general lack of structure and routine contributes to this disorganization and chaos. An addicted ...
Views: 3338(4 votes) - Addiction and Recovery: Who Will Enable Your Addicted Loved One When You Quit? - by Submitted on Jun 03, 2010 from Peggy Ferguson"Enabling" can be described as a behavior pattern of the significant people in the life on an addict or alcoholic. "Enabling" involves rescuing the alcoholic/addict from the negative consequences of his or her behavior. When the addict has those negative consequences of his/her addiction ...
Views: 3296(4 votes) - Help for the Sex Addict's Spouse - Part 5 - by Submitted on May 10, 2009 from Peggy FergusonCan the spouse of a sex addict find help individually for the effects of the sexual addiction on their lives? Sure. Much of the time, however, it is the crisis of discovery of the acting out, or some other related crisis that brings the sex addict and spouse into treatment. They usually seek ...
Views: 3278 - What To Do Right Now To Keep Your Spouse From Leaving You and To Build A Better Life Together. - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2010 from Peggy FergusonWhat if you were called into your boss's office and told that s/he was thinking about letting you go, that you were not fulfilling your job responsibilities, and that you were holding the company back rather than helping the company grow and prosper? Yes, you might be shocked or stunned. You ...
Views: 3249 - Sexual Addiction: Defining Recovery From Sexual Addiction - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2009 from Peggy FergusonRecovery from sexual addiction is slightly different than recovery from alcohol and other (AOD) addiction. With chemical dependency recovery, the goal is to abstain from all mood altering drugs. The primary goal from sexual addiction is not abstinence from sex, but the development of the ability ...
Views: 3217 - Family Dynamics of Addiction Exposed: Identifying The "Real Problem" and What To Do About It - by Submitted on Nov 19, 2009 from Peggy FergusonMany non-addicted spouses complain about how their addicted significant other is driving them crazy, making them depressed, or leading them toward suicide or homicide. These comments only illustrate the destructive nature of the family dynamics of addiction. The addicted and non-addicted ...
Views: 3201(3 votes) - Treatment for Spouses and Other Family Members of Alcoholics and Addicts - by Submitted on Sep 21, 2009 from Peggy FergusonOne of the most frequent questions that I hear from family members is, “Why do I need to be in counseling, when she is the alcoholic/addict? The family members that do come into treatment willingly and eagerly at the beginning are most often motivated to “help” the addict. The idea that ...
Views: 3118(1 vote) - Communication in Recovery - Ten Steps to Fair Fighting - by Submitted on May 24, 2009 from Peggy FergusonUse the following ten steps to replace old, ineffective arguments with an effective fair fighting session: 1. Fight to resolve an issue or solve a problem. 2. Identify the problem to be solved. 3. Take turns stating your case, using I messages. 4. Practice active listening. 5. Generate ...
Views: 3089(1 vote) - What Can We Do to Improve Our Relationship? Answers from "Ask Peggy" - by Submitted on Nov 06, 2009 from Peggy FergusonCommunication is not only the life's blood of a marriage, it is the cornerstone that the foundation of relationship skills rest on. You have to have good communication skills to be able to convey your love, affection, and commitment to your loved ones. You can not effectively problem solve ...
Views: 2945(3 votes) - Addiction and Recovery: "Treatment" and "Recovery" Are Not The Same Thing. - by Submitted on Jun 03, 2010 from Peggy Ferguson"My spouse went to recovery. Now they tell me that he needs to go on to additional counseling. What is that all about?" "Recovery" and "treatment" are not the same thing. Inpatient treatment, detox, or outpatient treatment, in and of itself, is not "recovery". Recovery is generally a return ...
Views: 2909(2 votes) - Staying Sober After In-Patient Treatment: Ten Reasons To Follow Through With Continuing Care Even If You Don't Want To - by Submitted on Jun 02, 2010 from Peggy FergusonThe majority of patients who successfully complete inpatient and have the desire to stay clean and sober relapse in the first year after acute care treatment. Anyone who has been to inpatient treatment has noticed that the among the other patients around them, that there is a large percentage ...
Views: 2874(2 votes) - First Sober Fourth of July: Surviving the Holiday Without Addiction Relapse - by Submitted on Jul 25, 2009 from Peggy FergusonThe fourth of July is significant for alcoholics and addicts in several ways. The Declaration of Independence was a statement of separation from a tyrannical ruler. With separating from the past they embarked on a new way of life. Many people come into treatment just after the Fourth of July, ...
Views: 2859(1 vote) - Addiction and Recovery: Understanding The Nature of Addiction to Understand Cross Addiction - by Submitted on Jul 29, 2009 from Peggy FergusonEarly addiction recovery is a fragile thing. One of the most frequent contributing factors in relapse is something we call "cross-addiction". Essentially what cross-addiction means, is that if you are alcoholic or addicted to other mood altering drugs, you a potentially addicted to all mood ...
Views: 2754(1 vote) - Your Spouse's Infidelity Revealed: Getting Over The Shock and Getting To Recovery: Part 2Submitted on May 18, 2009 from Peggy FergusonMarital infidelity can be revealed in a whole host of different ways. Regardless of how the infidelity is revealed, the revelation of the infidelity creates a crisis within the marital relationship and within the faithful spouse. The shock of discovering the infidelity leads to compulsive ...
Views: 2726 - Sexual Addiction: A Brief Description, Part 1 - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2009 from Peggy FergusonIf you see yourself in this brief description of sexual addiction, it can be the beginning of achieving recovery and getting your life back. The hope is that there is recovery, that it is possible. "The journey of a thousand miles begins by taking the initial step". The good news is that you ...
Views: 2697(1 vote) - Addiction and Recovery: Do You Really Have to Hit Bottom to Recover? - by Submitted on Jul 25, 2009 from Peggy FergusonThere is a generally misguided notion that you have to "hit bottom" to be able to get sober and stay sober. "Hitting bottom" is usually seen as the loss of the things that you value in your life. It is an individually defined event and the concept has probably hindered the recovery efforts of a ...
Views: 2675(1 vote) - Our Marriage Is In Trouble But My Spouse Won't Go to Marriage Counseling: 7 Reasons Why Your Spouse May Resist Counseling - by Submitted on May 18, 2010 from Peggy FergusonThe idea of marriage counseling is usually brought up and pursued by one partner, initially. The possibility of marriage counseling is often an ongoing debate or discussion for sometime before couples actually find their way to the counselor's office. There are a number of reasons why one ...
Views: 2630 - Family Dynamics of Addiction and Recovery - How Can I Tell If My Partner Is Serious About Recovery? - by Submitted on May 24, 2009 from Peggy FergusonMost spouses of alcoholics or addicts have been down this road before. Something has happened. Some crisis has gotten the attention of the alcoholic/addict and now he is motivated to get clean and sober. This time he is going to AA/NA and going to counseling. Promises made by the addict to stop ...
Views: 2586(3 votes)