Self Improvement Site
On The Internet! Take the Self Improvement Tour
On The Internet! Take the Self Improvement Tour
Articles from Peggy Ferguson | Selfgrowth.com
- Addiction As Disease Does Not Equal "Get Out of Jail Free" - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2009 from Peggy FergusonSometimes family members have a hard time with the idea that addiction is a disease. When this is the case, it often has to do with the issue of responsibility. Sometimes family members believe that "disease" is equated with a "get out of jail free card" or not being held responsible. This is ...
Views: 2156(2 votes) - Addiction Recovery: 12 Do's and Don'ts For the Family While the Alcoholic is in Rehab - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2009 from Peggy FergusonYour significant other finally went to rehab. With all the events leading up to his agreeing to go to treatment, it may feel like a let-down. You may have breathed a big sigh of relief as you drove away from the airport or the treatment center after dropping him or her off. You may feel hope. ...
Views: 4412(2 votes) - Commumication In Recovery: Guidelines for Setting the Stage for Effective Talks with Your Loved Ones - by Submitted on May 24, 2009 from Peggy FergusonWhen you want to solve some important relationship or logistics issue, you help assist help ensure your effectiveness by appropriately setting the stage for communication. Remember these guidelines while trying to solve a problem in your relationship. 1. Think about what you want to say ...
Views: 951(1 vote) - Couple Communication: Back to Basics To Improve Your Relationship and Restore Happiness - by Submitted on Oct 26, 2009 from Peggy FergusonOne of the most important tools to develop or restore communication skills is the use of “I” messages. "I" messages are not as likely to elicit defensiveness. They actually increase the probability that your message(s) will be heard. With this simple change in how you communicate with your ...
Views: 4981(2 votes) - Help My Teen: Could Your Child's Problems Be Due to Addiction? - by Submitted on Jun 04, 2010 from Peggy FergusonParents often find themselves in a quandary trying to figure out how to help the adolescent whose behavior, disposition, and mood has changed for the worst. The exact nature of the problem may be eluding them. They use a trial and error problem solving method where they end up trying anything ...
Views: 1709(3 votes) - Getting Married: Building Healthy Step-families - by Submitted on Aug 19, 2010 from Peggy FergusonIf your family is a "remarried family" or a "step-family" then you're in good company. The experience of building a remarried or stepfamily is a common experience, not only for recovering people, but for the general population as well. There are lots of difficulties involved in putting together ...
Views: 1801(4 votes) - Addiction and Recovery: Cross Addiction and Relapse: 5 Cross Addiction Relapse Prevent Tips - by Submitted on Jul 29, 2009 from Peggy FergusonAlthough definitions of "Addiction" seem to be continuing to evolve, addiction is still "a primary, chronic, progressive, and relapsing disease". The last decade of research has led to a refined definition of addiction as a "brain disease which is manifested by compulsive behavior". Cross ...
Views: 3766(1 vote) - Addiction and Recovery: How to Catapult Your Recovery to the Next Level by Using A Problems Checklist to Drive Skill Developmen - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2009 from Peggy FergusonEarly recovery is a time of self-assessment and problem identification. You have to know what is not working in order to begin to fix it. One of the first tasks, right after learning basic craving management techniques is spending the time and energy to identify the roles that chemicals have ...
Views: 2550(1 vote) - Couple Communication: Can You Really Not Communicate? - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2010 from Peggy FergusonI often hear couples complain that they cannot talk about anything. Does that really happen? Think about what would happen in your relationship if you really, literally could not talk to your spouse--about anything. How would you exchange information about work, daily routines, groceries and ...
Views: 3564(1 vote) - Couple Communication: How to De-escalate A Discussion - by Submitted on Aug 20, 2010 from Peggy FergusonMany couples get into a dysfunctional pattern of conflict escalation and withdrawal as they attempt to discuss the problems and issues in their life. Each unsuccessful attempt to solve the identified problem sets the tone for the next time that they attempt to resolve the issue. Unresolved ...
Views: 6733(2 votes) - Getting Started: "Ready, Set, Talk!" - by Submitted on Aug 20, 2010 from Peggy FergusonSometimes couples wish they felt more emotionally close to their spouses. You may feel taken for granted and might even recognize that you take your spouse for granted. One or both of you might be daydreaming about dedicating some time and energy to restoring that eroding emotional connection. ...
Views: 1076(1 vote) - Marital Counseling: How to Make The Most of the Opportunities of Marriage Counseling - by Submitted on May 18, 2010 from Peggy FergusonPeople seek marriage counseling because they need help or are in pain. In any given couple, there is usually one who is more interested in counseling than the other. With a list of complaints, each partner usually feels compelled to make his/her case to the counselor about their spouse being ...
Views: 1371(1 vote) - Treatment for Spouses and Other Family Members of Alcoholics and Addicts - by Submitted on Sep 21, 2009 from Peggy FergusonOne of the most frequent questions that I hear from family members is, “Why do I need to be in counseling, when she is the alcoholic/addict? The family members that do come into treatment willingly and eagerly at the beginning are most often motivated to “help” the addict. The idea that ...
Views: 3118(1 vote) - A Realistic Approach to Reducing Unhappiness and Preventing Divorce - by Submitted on Jan 30, 2010 from Peggy FergusonWhile many conflicted and combative couples stay together through the holidays to not disappoint the kids or the extended family members, other couples who may have not even been thinking about divorce, begin to feel discouraged, disappointed, and disenchanted after the holidays and decide to ...
Views: 2311 - Are You Suffering from Someone Else's Sexual Addiction? - Part 4 - by Submitted on Jul 23, 2009 from Peggy FergusonAre you angry, depressed, confused, and constantly trying to figure out what your spouse is up to? If you are spinning your wheels, trying to strategize and find solutions for your spouse and your relationship before you have actually identified the problem, keep reading. Family members can ...
Views: 1977 - Breaking the Stalemate: Using Cognitive Therapy to Change Your Marriage - by Submitted on Feb 11, 2011 from Peggy FergusonCouples often come to counseling in a last ditch effort to avoid divorce and save the marriage. They have many goals and objectives in mind, often involving helping the therapist fix the other spouse. The real underlying goal is often the desire to restore the positive feelings toward the ...
Views: 6607 - Couple Communication: Overcoming Roadblocks to Communication to Maintain or Regain Your Marital Happiness - by Submitted on Oct 30, 2009 from Peggy FergusonMost people want to have a loving, committed, happy marriage. And they think they know what will make for that happy marriage. Some of the characteristics often identified as making up a stable and loving relationship include: trust, love, respect, honesty, and faithfulness, among other ...
Views: 3828 - Everyone Loses When You Give Up on Your Marriage Without Trying to Acquire the Skills You Need To Keep It - by Submitted on Aug 20, 2010 from Peggy FergusonThere is the "should" that says that you should be able to solve your own problems without help. Here is the rationale: "If your relationship has enough tension and strain that help is needed, the relationship is not going to make it anyway, so why waste time and money with counseling?" The ...
Views: 1959 - Falling Out of Love - Should We Pack It In? - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2010 from Peggy FergusonOften when a couple comes in for couple’s counseling, one of the partners is stating that s/he has fallen out of love with the other partner. Sometimes they both feel that way, but usually it is just one spouse verbalizing this. When you are feeling this way, it is common to question whether ...
Views: 2387 - Family Dynamics of Addiction: Anger in Early Recovery - by Submitted on Feb 04, 2011 from Peggy Ferguson“Angry”, “mad”, “irritable”, “frustrated”, “annoyed”, “irate”, “seething”, “agitated”, and “cranky” are all labels for anger. This list, although it could be a lot longer, reflects varying degrees in intensity of anger. Anger, although a normal emotion, can be problematic for recovering ...
Views: 8108 - Family Dynamics of Addiction: Family Systems Can Work for or Against Your Recovery - by Submitted on May 24, 2009 from Peggy FergusonAlcoholics/addicts do not normally live in a circle made up exclusively of alcoholics and addicts. Most people suffering from addictions have a multitude of people in their lives who are affected by the addiction. Even alcoholics and addicts that are estranged from their significant others, ...
Views: 5462 - Help For the Sex Addict - Part 3 - by Submitted on May 10, 2009 from Peggy FergusonTreatment for sexual addiction can occur in an inpatient or outpatient setting. Like treatment for alcohol and other drug (AOD) addiction, treatment for sexual addiction is usually made up of individual and group counseling, education about addiction, and self-help participation. When choosing ...
Views: 1292 - Help for the Sex Addict's Spouse - Part 5 - by Submitted on May 10, 2009 from Peggy FergusonCan the spouse of a sex addict find help individually for the effects of the sexual addiction on their lives? Sure. Much of the time, however, it is the crisis of discovery of the acting out, or some other related crisis that brings the sex addict and spouse into treatment. They usually seek ...
Views: 3278 - How Do You Know if Infidelity is a Symptom of Sexual Addiction: 10 Indicators - by Submitted on May 08, 2009 from Peggy FergusonYou have just discovered or been informed of your partner's infidelity. You are in shock. You are confused, angry, immobilized, depressed, and thinking you will absolutely go crazy. In the midst of all this, you keep hearing about "sexual addiction" in the media and you wonder if it is sexual ...
Views: 3853 - How to Find The Best Marriage Counselor For Your Needs - by Submitted on Feb 05, 2011 from Peggy FergusonEveryone wants "the best". When you are looking for a marriage counselor it is important to find someone who is specifically trained in marriage counseling and has the credential of "licensed" or "certified" marriage counselor". This indicates that they demonstrated some level of competence ...
Views: 1398 - Keep Your Parents and Children Out of Your Marriage - by Submitted on Aug 19, 2010 from Peggy FergusonKeep your parents and your children out of your marriage. Once they are in there, it's hard to get them out. When you are in conflict with your spouse, it is really tempting to use whoever is handy to vent to, regarding your marriage. And often the people available most available to us are ...
Views: 1743 - Our Marriage Is In Trouble But My Spouse Won't Go to Marriage Counseling: 7 Reasons Why Your Spouse May Resist Counseling - by Submitted on May 18, 2010 from Peggy FergusonThe idea of marriage counseling is usually brought up and pursued by one partner, initially. The possibility of marriage counseling is often an ongoing debate or discussion for sometime before couples actually find their way to the counselor's office. There are a number of reasons why one ...
Views: 2630 - Sexual Addiction: Defining Recovery From Sexual Addiction - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2009 from Peggy FergusonRecovery from sexual addiction is slightly different than recovery from alcohol and other (AOD) addiction. With chemical dependency recovery, the goal is to abstain from all mood altering drugs. The primary goal from sexual addiction is not abstinence from sex, but the development of the ability ...
Views: 3217 - The Key To Successful Recovery of Your Marriage Is Within You - by Submitted on Aug 07, 2011 from Peggy FergusonThe key to successfully recovering the love that has eroded is within you. The fun that you once shared together can happen again. The robust sense of "us" that colored the choices you made on a daily basis can be restored. The ability to accomplish these things is within each partner. The ...
Views: 1249 - The Naked Truth About Sexual Addiction - by Submitted on May 08, 2009 from Peggy FergusonThere is nothing sexy about sex addiction. Compulsive sexual behavior is not a pastime or hobby. Sexually addicted people use all kinds of excuses and defense mechanisms to deny the truth to themselves. The naked truth about addiction is that once it is addiction, the addict is spiritually and ...
Views: 2160 - Using Valentine's Day to Build Your Own Marriage Enrichment Initiative - by Submitted on Feb 06, 2011 from Peggy FergusonRoutine. Boring. Settled in. Comfortable. You love your spouse. You believe that she and the family are the most important people in your life. You have settled into a comfortable routine, accepting that you are loved and appreciated by your family. Your comfortable routine consists of an ...
Views: 1664 - What To Do Right Now To Keep Your Spouse From Leaving You and To Build A Better Life Together. - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2010 from Peggy FergusonWhat if you were called into your boss's office and told that s/he was thinking about letting you go, that you were not fulfilling your job responsibilities, and that you were holding the company back rather than helping the company grow and prosper? Yes, you might be shocked or stunned. You ...
Views: 3249 - Your Spouse's Infidelity Revealed: Getting Over The Shock and Getting To Recovery: Part 2Submitted on May 18, 2009 from Peggy FergusonMarital infidelity can be revealed in a whole host of different ways. Regardless of how the infidelity is revealed, the revelation of the infidelity creates a crisis within the marital relationship and within the faithful spouse. The shock of discovering the infidelity leads to compulsive ...
Views: 2726 - Your Spouse's Infidelity Revealed: Of Course You Are Angry and Scared: Part 1 - by Submitted on May 18, 2009 from Peggy FergusonInfidelity can be a component of sexual addiction or relational event(s). It is generally enshrouded in secrecy and dishonesty, with great amounts of time and effort spent to keep it hidden. Spouses find out about the infidelity or sexual addiction in a wide variety of ways. Several are ...
Views: 2395