Self Improvement Site
On The Internet! Take the Self Improvement Tour
On The Internet! Take the Self Improvement Tour
Articles from Lynette Crane | Selfgrowth.com
- Introvert Anger: The Good, The Bad, and The Downright Ugly - by Submitted on Sep 26, 2014 from Lynette CraneAre you an introvert? Afraid of anger? Your own and other people’s? You’re not alone. We introverts are famous for becoming clams when we’re hurt or affronted. After all, anger can involve raised voices, threatening language – all that over-stimulation against which we try to protect ...
Views: 3569 - Social Confidence and “Extrovert Skills” - by Submitted on Dec 16, 2015 from Lynette Crane“I used my extrovert skills.” “I had to learn some extrovert skills.” “Oh, well, I don’t have extrovert skills.” I hear these phrases all the time – and they drive me crazy. When did the ability to be socially graceful or to display good manners become the sole province of one group of ...
Views: 1718 - Highly-educated, highly-intelligent people can do incredibly stupid things - by Submitted on Mar 16, 2012 from Lynette CraneStress can make even intelligent people screw up, look slightly crazy, and even undermine their health and well-being. It’s true: even highly-educated, highly-intelligent people can do incredibly stupid things under stress. Take the woman, who upon finding that her house was on fire, grabbed ...
Views: 1507 - Does persistence really pay off? - by Submitted on Aug 22, 2011 from Lynette CraneWe’ve heard these phrases all of our lives: “Persistence pays off”, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again”, and “Success comes the day after you give up.” But are they really true? If you’re feeling tired, despondent and burned out, you may wonder just how long you have to persist ...
Views: 1375 - The Power of “Yet” - by Submitted on Jul 21, 2011 from Lynette CraneWhen I had a heart attack a little over five years ago, I asked, “Why?” And my doctor told me that I had a high level of a rare form of cholesterol that sticks to itself and to artery walls like Velcro, making me three times more liable to have a heart attack than the average person. ...
Views: 1328 - Business Coaching and Introverts - by Submitted on Nov 27, 2015 from Lynette CraneWhen you hire a business coach and develop a program or product, the first marketing instructions you get will probably be something like this: “Contact your friends, send them a warm letter, offer them your services or product, and ask them if they know people who would be interested.” Bingo! ...
Views: 1308 - Can I be an introvert and a champion too? - by Submitted on Aug 14, 2012 from Lynette CraneThe short answer is, You Bet! Too many people equate introversion with shyness, when in fact introverts are simply people who rely more on inner resources than outer ones, and deeply need a certain amount of solitude in which to re-charge their batteries. Introversion may lie behind ...
Views: 1284 - Is Introversion Main Stream at Last? - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2016 from Lynette CraneThe topic of introversion has now entered the mainstream. How can I tell? This topic, which I have championed for so many years (full disclosure: I am an introvert), has now appeared in one of my favorite comic strips, and I honestly don’t know whether to laugh or cry. In the Dilbert strip ...
Views: 1274 - Bullying in the Workplace: Who Bullies Whom? - by Submitted on Jun 04, 2015 from Lynette CraneOver 40% of employees in the workplace have experienced bullying, a persistent pattern of behavior that intimidates, degrades or otherwise undermines the wellbeing of the target. Bullying is four times more prevalent than sexual abuse, and, according to a study at the University of Manitoba, the ...
Views: 1272 - Whose Deadline Is It, Anyway? - by Submitted on Jul 04, 2011 from Lynette CraneThere are real deadlines it’s important to meet: dialing 9.1.1. within seconds after witnessing symptoms of a heart attack or stroke comes to mind immediately, and an example that meets the true definition of “deadline.” Responding to the urgent request of a loved one, especially a child, or ...
Views: 1269 - Holding on to your identity during a transition? - by Submitted on Sep 08, 2015 from Lynette CraneMaybe you shouldn’t be. Transitions – in life or in career – are tough. One of the hardest parts is the seeming attack on your identity when you no longer fill a given role, a role you may have played for years, even decades. People who have had to change careers for physical or health ...
Views: 1262 - Why do some people just seem to have all the luck? - by Submitted on Jun 13, 2011 from Lynette CraneEarlier in my life, I was bemused at the sight of a number of people who had talent and persistence, but never seemed to get the break that allowed them to display that talent. At the same time, it was puzzling to see much less qualified people rise to the top. Not always, not even very often, ...
Views: 1218(1 vote) - The Unintended Consequences of Being an Introvert - by Submitted on May 13, 2015 from Lynette CraneAs more and more attention is being paid to introversion, thanks to Susan Cain and her book, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking,” the world is slowly becoming aware of introvert value and, what’s better, willing to make some adjustments to accommodate introverts ...
Views: 1203 - How can I soar with eagles when I work with turkeys? - by Submitted on Mar 06, 2013 from Lynette CraneI remember this sign in an organization for which I worked years ago, and when I thought of some of my colleagues, I laughed in recognition. Much later, I recognized that some of them probably had my face in mind when they looked at the sign and laughed. The expression refers to someone ...
Views: 1191 - The “Sliding Scale” of Introversion-Extroversion - by Submitted on Jul 07, 2015 from Lynette CraneAfter my talks, people often come up to me and say, “I used to be an introvert – but I got over it,” or, “I’m not sure; sometimes I think I’m one thing and sometimes the other. Can you be both?” Actually, you can be both, changing from one situation to another, or changing over time from one ...
Views: 1182 - What’s the difference between problem-solving and rumination? - by Submitted on Sep 04, 2013 from Lynette CraneI had occasion to explore this issue myself this week, when I discovered that somehow my utility company had switched the account number and name on the bill it sends to my home each month. Confidently and proudly paying my bills online on the first of each month, I simply looked at the ...
Views: 1167 - Transforming your year - by Submitted on Jan 06, 2015 from Lynette CraneEveryone tells you that you must have a clear vision of where you want to go and who you want to be. Not everyone tells you exactly how – and how not – to get to that vision. For example, suppose you want a life in which you are well paid and appreciated for your work. You want warm ...
Views: 1134 - Are you afraid of success … or is it something else? - by Submitted on Mar 11, 2013 from Lynette CraneHas someone suggested to you that you fear success? Or have you thought it about yourself? If so, what is it you are really afraid of? I had to think about this some years ago, when I was starting out as a speaker. An enthusiastic and supportive friend of mine would say, frequently, “Maybe ...
Views: 1131 - How Can You Laugh When Your World Isn’t Funny? - by Submitted on Jun 18, 2011 from Lynette Crane“What do the simple folk do, to help them escape when they’re blue”, sang the King in the Broadway musical, Camelot. He felt someone had the secret, but he did not. It’s difficult to force yourself to laugh, and annoying if someone else urges you to do so when you don’t feel like it. But ...
Views: 1107 - What do you say to a Dementor? - by Submitted on Jul 10, 2013 from Lynette CraneIn my last article, “Watch who you share your pain with,” I described several kinds of people who only make your pain worse by saying the wrong things. I call them, collectively, Dementors, familiar to Harry Potter fans as creatures who suck all hope out of you. They may magnify your tiny ...
Views: 1101 - You Mean Stress Is a Choice? - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2011 from Lynette CraneA week ago, I was awakened just before midnight by an alarming phone call. The security company was calling to tell me there was an alarm going off at the historic house I manage (on a purely volunteer basis), and asked if they should send a fire engine. “Yes, of course,” I gasped, surprised ...
Views: 1093 - The Confident Introvert Networker - by Submitted on Feb 12, 2013 from Lynette CraneWhether you are networking for business or for personal reasons, being an introvert can make the process painful. It doesn’t have to be. My interest in confidence and its opposite, social anxiety, came as the result of a painful end to a marriage in which I had become increasingly socially ...
Views: 1088 - Becoming a socially connected introvert – without exhausting yourself - by Submitted on May 23, 2014 from Lynette CraneI read the introverts forums, I watch the comments, and I feel a little dismayed. “Why won’t people leave me alone?” “I don’t like small talk, so I avoid people.” “Being around people is just so exhausting that I spend all my free time alone.” “I hate even the thought of networking.” One gets ...
Views: 1084 - What If…? - by Submitted on Aug 29, 2011 from Lynette CraneWhen I ordered the tickets for the paddleboat cruise, I was told to bring the printed order form plus a form of picture identification. We showed up at the dock, I reached into my purse – and remembered that I had put my major credit card and driver’s license into a small pouch the previous ...
Views: 1084 - Have you ever had a psychological sucker punch? - by Submitted on May 27, 2013 from Lynette CraneHave you ever had someone explain to you, coldly and logically, why your dream or vision is impossible, and can never come true? Well, I have. Most recently last week. As it happens, I had stopped focusing on my stress management programs during the last year, while I finished my book, The ...
Views: 1082 - What If…? - by Submitted on Oct 31, 2014 from Lynette CraneA friend and I took a lovely paddleboat ride on the Mississippi River one day, past old crumbling brick walls backed by sparkling new skyscrapers, learning a lot of history that we had never heard. The good time almost didn’t happen, due to a careless mistake on my part. That mistake did ...
Views: 1072 - Introversion, Gut Feelings, and Trust - by Submitted on Jan 20, 2015 from Lynette CraneMaybe – just maybe – your gut-level feeling that you shouldn’t be doing something is right. But if you’re an introvert, you’ve probably had a lifetime of being told to ignore your feelings, and urged to act just the opposite. Want to stay home and read? “What’s the matter with you, anyway?” ...
Views: 1068 - Recapture Delight In Your Life - by Submitted on Aug 01, 2011 from Lynette CraneWhat immediately comes to mind when you think of rewarding or pampering yourself? Let’s say you’ve been under a lot of pressure and you realize you must find a release. I asked a client recently what she would do if she took time to pamper herself, and she didn’t know. She hadn’t thought ...
Views: 1063 - How not to motivate introverts? - by Submitted on Jul 18, 2014 from Lynette CraneIntroverts: We’re 51% of the population, and still people don’t get who we are and how we function best. We are in your workplace as employees, colleagues, managers, bosses. We can be a family member, child, lover, or friend. We are definitely well represented among your clients and ...
Views: 1049 - Creative Writing for RAWs - by Submitted on Aug 29, 2011 from Lynette CraneSome years ago, I called a dear friend of mine, Mary, to ask her advice. All I got was her answering machine, hour after hour. Alarmed that this usually accessible person didn’t seem to be available, I called her best friend, Amy. Together, we become more alarmed. Both of us started making ...
Views: 1029 - Are you bothered by public speaking? - by Submitted on Feb 28, 2013 from Lynette CraneYour work or life may require speaking in public. Some people think of public speaking as delivering a talk to a large audience; others think that two or more people constitute a large enough audience to be intimidating. Are you one of the rare people who is frightened of public speaking? ...
Views: 1019(1 vote) - Is Tech Stress Driving You Screaming Mad? - by Submitted on Oct 25, 2013 from Lynette CraneIt’s official (in case you hadn’t already noticed): technology is raising our stress level precipitously. In fact, Mike Kushner, co-owner of a computer solutions company in Palo Alto, California, has paramedics ready to respond to calls from what he calls the “digitally desperate.” Some ...
Views: 1011 - How to Avoid Holiday Stress Insanity - by Submitted on Nov 26, 2013 from Lynette CraneAlong with joy and a feeling of connectedness to others, the holidays bring a rise in stress. Although most people over 30 experience a rise in stress over the holidays, according to the American Psychological Association, women are most likely to experience a sharp increase (44%) in stress, ...
Views: 1009 - The Yin, Yang and Dopamine in Relationships - by Submitted on Mar 25, 2014 from Lynette CraneSome people like to linger until the very end of a party; others like to leave early. Unfortunately, they frequently marry each other. They may very well have met and been attracted to each other because of these opposite qualities: one represents tranquility, stability, and caution, the ...
Views: 994 - Why Are You Running, If There’s No Prize? - by Submitted on Jul 21, 2011 from Lynette CraneI arrived home from a trip recently and observed the same scenario I see every time I travel. When I get off an airplane, I step on the moving sidewalk and rest my carry-on bag on the moving railing, stepping to the right, just as the instructions say: “stand” on the right, and “walk” on the ...
Views: 982 - Make It Easy On Yourself - by Submitted on Aug 29, 2013 from Lynette CraneHave you ever been caught in a race that never ends: one in which the big prize at the end is as far out of reach as it is when you started, and the small rewards along the way that might sustain you have gotten to be scarcer and scarcer? Perhaps the big prize no longer seems enticing, or ...
Views: 981 - Stress of Being Praised - by Submitted on Sep 13, 2011 from Lynette CraneLast week, I looked at the evaluations of a talk I had just given. One was excellent; when I glanced at the page, I realized the name of the writer. “Oh,” I remarked, “that’s just a friend.” The implication was that since the writer was a friend, there was something less valid about the ...
Views: 980 - What if barriers didn’t exist? - by Submitted on Aug 21, 2013 from Lynette CraneI heard a wonderful story last night, from a woman who has had a varied, interesting andfrom any standpoint, successful, life. Her secret? She didn’t know there was a glass ceiling! In fact, she wasn’t aware of most barriers that frustrate the rest of us. Here is a story she told: At one ...
Views: 976 - What the heck is eustress? - by Submitted on Oct 30, 2013 from Lynette CraneHans Selye, known as the “Father of Stress,” coined the term “eustress” in 1926. It means, literally, “good stress.” Is there such a thing? You bet there is. When we’re underwhelmed by life, we seek excitement in anything from scary movies to amusement park rides; we crave new ventures and ...
Views: 976 - A New Year, a New Life - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2014 from Lynette CraneJanuary is the time of fresh starts, fresh ideas, and an urge to create a new, better life.Often, we start out with high hopes, only to sink by February 1 as if the balloon carrying our hopes had been punctured. We need a plan, a roadmap if you will, that we can follow, that will provide us ...
Views: 975 - Why can’t you say “NO”? - by Submitted on Aug 07, 2013 from Lynette CraneI work with so many overly-busy women who are stressed beyond belief, yet they still find it difficult to say “no” to the demands that come to them from all sides. Even when they are given permission, or even urged to say no to these demands by friends, family or managers, they still find it ...
Views: 973 - Underlying Issues - by Submitted on Jul 25, 2012 from Lynette CraneWhat’s the real source of your stress? Coaches and therapists will tell you that when people are stressed or angry, what they say they are upset about and what is the real cause are two different things. If a driver cut in front of you and made a rude gesture, is the irritation you feel ...
Views: 972 - Can you change the past? - by Submitted on May 13, 2013 from Lynette CraneCan you go back and change the past, or are you stuck with what you remember? That’s the key: what you remember. The fact is, our brains are stuffed with memories, only some of which we retrieve, convincing ourselves we have a true and complete picture of the past when in fact we have a ...
Views: 965 - The Holiday Time and Energy Bandits - by Submitted on Dec 04, 2014 from Lynette CraneTime and energy bandits are habits and thought processes that can suck you dry, leaving you exhausted and harried. One of these bandits, which particularly rears its head at the holiday season, is perfectionism. Now perfectionism is a wonderful trait – in its place. Some of the places ...
Views: 957 - Can an introvert have an exciting life and survive? - by Submitted on Jul 01, 2014 from Lynette CraneYes, many do. Many do not. Performers are, surprisingly often, introverts, because performing provides a perfect platform for an introvert. A performance usually involves a structured situation with behavior that is well-rehearsed; furthermore, we can usually perform without those ...
Views: 956 - Evaluating Other People - by Submitted on Jun 14, 2012 from Lynette CraneBuild relationships and teams by giving value to your interaction This is the last of a series of articles on handling criticism constructively and without stress. Evaluating other people is something you will do all of your life, both formally, as a teacher, parent, or manager, and ...
Views: 955 - 3 Time Expansion Tips for Introvert - by Submitted on Jun 17, 2014 from Lynette CraneIntroverts often feel harried, trying to rush towards that time when they can kick back and relax, freed from all social – and other—obligation. This is especially true when the introvert works in a busy organization where much of what happens is not under the introvert’s control (unlike a ...
Views: 950 - Do you know where your Will Power has gone? - by Submitted on Jan 31, 2013 from Lynette CraneYou know will power – that elusive stuff that other people seem to have, but you don’t? Or maybe you had a lot of it on January 1, excited by visions of a new you, but somehow the visions have gotten dimmer as the weeks have gone by. The parking lot at the fitness center was so crowded on New ...
Views: 947 - Pick yourself up, dust yourself off… - by Submitted on Feb 12, 2014 from Lynette CraneMaking a mistake or doing something klutzy can make anyone uncomfortable. Some people are more uncomfortable than others, going home, pulling the covers over their heads, and trying to sleep, haunted over and over by pictures of the embarrassing incident. Others apologize lightly and gracefully, ...
Views: 947(1 vote) - Are you a highly sensitive person? - by Submitted on Jun 12, 2013 from Lynette CraneAre you one of those people who startles easily? Finds that you’re running a little too fast or being a little too concerned at what later look like minor events? You’re not crazy, you’re not alone, and it’s not your imagination, nor is it a lack of self control, as you may have imagined (or ...
Views: 945(1 vote)