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Articles from H. Les Brown | Selfgrowth.com
- Living Life On Life's Terms - by Submitted on Oct 31, 2008 from H. Les BrownOn last night's internet radio program, I interviewed rock musician and author, Steve Mayfield, about his new album and book, Afterlife Crisis. One of the principle themes (that became a song on his album) was that, even when we've gotten through the midlife transition, we still can't find a ...
Views: 1017 - Xenophobia And You - by Submitted on Nov 05, 2008 from H. Les Brown"Xenophobe: A person unduly fearful or contemptuous of that which is foreign, especially of strangers or foreign peoples" [Wikipedia]. Regardless of where you fall personal on the spectrum of political opinion, you have to be at least a little awestruck at the recent US presidential election. ...
Views: 1003 - Turning Obligation into Celebration - by Submitted on Nov 23, 2008 from H. Les BrownRemember Charles Dickens' opening lines to A Tale of Two Cities? "It was the best of times. It was the worst of times." These words apply to more than just Paris before the French Revolution. Welcome to the holidays! If you're older than 5, these are the days that we genuinely love to hate. ...
Views: 1001 - The Scariest Hallowe'en Ever - by Submitted on Oct 27, 2008 from H. Les BrownSaturday was the first (and the biggest) costume party of the Halloween season around here. I went as the scariest thing I could think of: the New York Stock Exchange. Sadly, I didn't win the 'Scariest Costume' prize . . . I lost out to a store-bought devil. I'm not sure whether this particular ...
Views: 995 - How Deep Will Your Midlife Crisis Go? - by Submitted on Aug 15, 2008 from H. Les BrownI was determined not to have a midlife crisis. I had one. The scary part of it all was that the results lasted over a period of about 20 years. By 'results', I mean there were unresolved issues that hung on for that length of time. That's one of the most uncomfortable aspects of a midlife ...
Views: 994 - The World As You Never Saw It - by Submitted on Nov 30, 2008 from H. Les BrownWhen I was growing up, way back in the old days of black-and-white television (in the very early 1960's), the US Army produced a weekly half-hour program that they called The Big Picture, and it opened with a graphic depicting the globe. John Glenn had not yet taken his first manned orbital ride ...
Views: 987 - Life Is Change (Stagnation Equals Death) - by Submitted on Oct 15, 2008 from H. Les BrownWe humans have a morbid fascination with security. What's this all about? As you look more closely at how we define 'security' for ourselves, you can begin to learn what it is you really mean when you say that you're working to provide a secure future for your family. Doesn't it mean that you ...
Views: 986 - Why Men Get Lost In The Clouds - by Submitted on Oct 16, 2008 from H. Les BrownJust before we moved from Connecticut to Delaware (where we now live), I was only about a month away from earning my instrument rating on my private pilot's license. From everything I've heard, the instrument rating is the most difficult rating for a private pilot to achieve. If I were to ...
Views: 986 - Your Life in the Balance - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2008 from H. Les BrownDid you ever see the movie Defending Your Life with Albert Brooks and Meryl Streep? The movie begins with hapless Daniel (Brooks) meeting an untimely end and appearing at the judgment with other recently deceased, among whom is young Julia (Streep). They fall in love. Daniel has to defend ...
Views: 959 - Tell Me, What Does It All Mean? - by Submitted on Sep 25, 2008 from H. Les BrownWould you like to know what the essence and the root cause of the midlife crisis is? Would you like me to let you in on the Big Secret? Actually, it's not really a secret at all, but it is BIG. The infamous midlife crisis is nothing more (and nothing less) than a crisis in meaning. My personal ...
Views: 950 - When Generations Collide - by Submitted on Aug 19, 2008 from H. Les BrownWe're quickly coming into an age when multiple generations are experiencing the midlife transition simultaneously. Perhaps we're already at that point. From my research, it's becoming clear that a far broader range of age groups self-identify as 'middle-aged': people from their mid-thirties into ...
Views: 944 - What to Do When the Tables are Turned - by Submitted on Dec 22, 2008 from H. Les BrownRecently, I had a question from a man who was in serious pain because . . . his wife was going through a midlife crisis. In some ways, there's nothing odd or strange about that: women and men both experience the physical and emotional changes that signal the transition from adulthood to ...
Views: 942 - Get Proactive Or Face The Consequences - by Submitted on Nov 06, 2008 from H. Les BrownI'm putting out a warning call that the wise (especially wise men) will want to pay attention to: get proactive about midlife or face the consequences. For almost 20 years, author Stephen R. Covey (The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People) has been trying to convince people that taking a ...
Views: 928 - Exit Plan Or Shot In The Dark? - by Submitted on Sep 26, 2008 from H. Les BrownAbout fifteen years ago, I was unemployed for about six months. To be honest, it wasn't exactly my finest hour. I had plenty of speaking and counseling experience (from my time in the ministry), but I had no 'official' training nor a license to practice. I had experience in tech writing and ...
Views: 922 - Vision Correction As A Metaphor For Midlife - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2008 from H. Les BrownYesterday I went for my biennial eye exam. I had all the drops and the blinding equipment scanning my cornea and retina. I read the charts so often that I had the bottom line memorized by the time I was finished: O V T C Z 2. Naturally, my eyes were a little worse than they were two years ago, a ...
Views: 908 - When Your Clock Strikes Midnight - by Submitted on Oct 14, 2008 from H. Les BrownWhat happens when your clock strikes twelve? There's no fairy godmother, no pumpkin coach or coachmen, no ball gown or glass slippers, no Prince Charming. Nothing left but some very hard work. Everybody's clock hits midnight once in a while. When it does, especially when you're in the midst of ...
Views: 903 - When Making The Right Choice Goes Wrong - by Submitted on Sep 05, 2008 from H. Les BrownQuick: stop reading right now and write down your top three core values. Do it now! . . . How hard was that? How long did it take you? Did you have to stop and ask yourself, "What does he mean by 'core values'?" Did you have to stop and think, confused by a long list of things that seem very ...
Views: 901 - 57% Of Layoffs Occur In Middle Age - by Submitted on Sep 22, 2008 from H. Les Brown23255031Even though the information (from the Center for Research on Organizational & Managerial Excellence) may be a little dated, the basic truth behind the facts reported in a 2003 survey from Texas remain very relevant. If you're between 30 and 50, you have an almost 60% chance of being ...
Views: 894 - Can You Win The Uphill Midlife Battle? - by Submitted on Aug 29, 2008 from H. Les Brown'The more things change, the more they stay the same.' Have you ever had that thought? Have you also noticed that, the harder you push to change the way things are, the less progress you seem to make? Although this experience isn't confined to guys passing through midlife (it's a common ...
Views: 883 - A Sneak Peek at the Future - by Submitted on Nov 16, 2008 from H. Les BrownAs the world financial situation continues to unravel before our eyes, the last vestiges of that sense of security that we've all been led to believe in has been exposed as the fairy tale that it's always been. We've always had plenty of evidence all around us that 'security' was an illusion ...
Views: 875 - Facing The Wreckage Of Midlife - by Submitted on Sep 04, 2008 from H. Les BrownAccording to the majority of the respondents on my little unscientific survey, what concerns people most about the midlife transition is facing physical deterioration and the loss of youth and beauty. Is it because looking in the mirror starts to remind you of your own mortality? Or, do you feel ...
Views: 873 - Facing The Financial Crunch - by Submitted on Sep 30, 2008 from H. Les BrownEconomist and Washington Post columnist Steven Pearlstein wrote this morning that most of those who are in charge of the governing of the world's economy just don't 'get it:' they've underestimated the severity of the economic crisis that's in the process of swallowing up the world's financial ...
Views: 869 - Recognize Your Emotional Sleight-of-Hand - by Submitted on Oct 02, 2008 from H. Les BrownFor a couple of years, my partner had to have periodic allergic desensitization shots. He found it very unhandy to administer the shots to himself, so he enlisted my help. I became his unofficial shot-giver. Although I'd never done anything like that before, I followed instructions, practiced ...
Views: 868 - Loving The Man In The Mirror - by Submitted on Aug 22, 2008 from H. Les BrownEvery day you live, you collect stuff. Just imagine the sheer volume of information that passes into your psyche every day, from what you see, what you read, what you experience, what you think, what you do (consciously or unconsciously), and the decisions you make. Every second — awake or ...
Views: 854 - Detecting the Deadly Detour - by Submitted on Oct 19, 2008 from H. Les BrownJust a couple of days ago, our family interred my uncle at Arlington National Cemetery will full military honors. He was an Air Force Lieutenant Colonel who once served in the Pentagon under Robert McNamara during the Kennedy-Johnson administrations. He was quite a brilliant and accomplished ...
Views: 831 - I (Dis)Honestly Love You - by Submitted on Aug 18, 2008 from H. Les BrownMy apologies to Olivia Newton-John for the parody on her hit song from the '70's, but midlife is the time when couples have been on the same merry-go-round for so long that they're getting saddle sores. Experience tells me that people go into committed relationships with every intention to make ...
Views: 831 - Getting Our Anniversary All The Way To Happy - by Submitted on Sep 12, 2008 from H. Les BrownToday, my partner and I celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary (OK . . . I'll admit it: we were both late bloomers and re-treads). As usual, these annual celebrations present an opportunity to look back over the years, to see what worked well (and what worked not-so-well), to take stock of how ...
Views: 824 - Sounding the Emotional Depths - by Submitted on Oct 20, 2008 from H. Les BrownWe know one thing for certain regarding midlife: it's an emotional maelstrom. The principal difference between your reactions to the emotions that you experience during the midlife transition and the ones you endured during puberty lies in the fact that you're so much more adept at finding ...
Views: 822 - Climbing Out Of The Fog - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2008 from H. Les BrownIt’s impossible to plan for or even prepare for the midlife transition without doing some serious self-work. You can’t very well establish a path and direction for yourself without having at least a vague idea of where you are and where you want to go. You’ll find it even more ...
Views: 814 - Anger - The Hidden 'Gotcha' Of Midlife - by Submitted on Oct 01, 2008 from H. Les BrownFor the uninitiated, the midlife crisis seems inexplicable. Why would someone who should be really happy behave so erratically? There's the key, though: they should be really happy . . . but they're not! Even those closest to the midlife sufferer are apt to be shocked and confused because ...
Views: 811 - Midlife Is The Antidote - by Submitted on Sep 11, 2008 from H. Les BrownIn 1980, singer Grace Jones released her version of the song, "Love is the Drug" and it soon became a hit on the disco circuit. It's true: though we don't always think about it in those terms, love is a very potent drug. Who doesn't love being high on love? To be sure, though, it's not the only ...
Views: 804 - I Can't Get No . . . Satisfaction - by Submitted on Oct 22, 2008 from H. Les BrownThe three emotional characteristics that most clearly define a man in midlife are 'restless', 'irritable' and 'discontent'. No wonder they 'can't get no satisfaction'! There's quite a significant difference between the ways that men and women deal with this bucket of emotional pain: women ...
Views: 803 - A Message from Your Empty Nest - by Submitted on Aug 27, 2008 from H. Les BrownIf you've married, then I think it's safe to assume that, at some point in your journey, you thought you'd found the perfect partner. I don't have to be clairvoyant to say that, sooner or later along that same journey, you were disappointed. You might think that this disappointment that comes ...
Views: 799 - Are You Part of the Problem? - by Submitted on Sep 08, 2008 from H. Les BrownIf you're in business or running a business, you're probably familiar with the classical SWOT analysis: a survey of Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats that should be used in the evaluation of any proposal for a new process or approach. If you're at all successful, you'll realize ...
Views: 798 - Avoid Uncertainty At Your Own Risk - by Submitted on Sep 19, 2008 from H. Les BrownOf all the columnists in The Washington Post, one of my favorites is Shankar Vedantam who writes "Department of Human Behavior." He's not only a good, clear writer, his research is excellent, and he has no axes to grind. He tells it like it is. In his recent column entitled "The Power of ...
Views: 795 - Success Is A Dead End - by Submitted on Aug 21, 2008 from H. Les Brown'Be careful what you pray for, 'cause you just might get it.' Have you ever heard that saying? In my opinion, it so perfectly describes the pitfalls of adulthood. Keep in mind that I have what I think is quite a unique definition for 'adulthood': childhood without the parental constraints. The ...
Views: 794 - Getting from Child-ish to Child-like - by Submitted on Aug 25, 2008 from H. Les BrownThe myth of the happy childhood hides a sad truth: that one of the principal effects of 'education' seems to be the process of 'disillusionment'. I call this process 'sad', but, in fact, it's more like 'tragic'. In early childhood, youngsters are more closely aligned with their inner destiny ...
Views: 792 - Does Midlife Make You a 'Lone Wolf'? - by Submitted on Sep 08, 2008 from H. Les BrownOne of the five scales that sociologists use to measure cultural differences is called 'individuation', which is contrasted with 'collectivism'. The scale measures where a society falls along the continuum that represents whether the culture is more individual- or group-oriented. In case you ...
Views: 787 - Could It Be Male Menopause? - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2008 from H. Les BrownI'd like to remind you about the function of hormones in the human body. Some people unfortunately underestimate their function and importance. Hormones are the chemical messengers that control the operation of all the body's systems. You could liken them to the way a television signal causes ...
Views: 785 - More Than Muddling Through - by Submitted on Aug 08, 2008 from H. Les BrownUnpleasant surprises don't necessarily have to be a necessary part of the process of midlife transition. 'Shock and awe' may have have some usefulness in military operations, but they clearly don't belong in a well-managed life. Although it's impossible to predict all the eventualities of ...
Views: 779 - When Are You 'Over The Hill'? - by Submitted on Sep 03, 2008 from H. Les BrownA little over a month ago, I had one of those 'milestone' birthdays . . . you know the kind . . . they're the ones that end in a '0'. It didn't bother me too much this time. Actually, I felt rather good about reaching that age at a time when people are saying, "You're kidding! You're that old?" ...
Views: 774 - When 'Bored' Is the Name of Your Game - by Submitted on Sep 16, 2008 from H. Les BrownThe French have the perfect word for it: ennui. It means 'boredom' but it also means so much more. The dictionary defines the word as meaning, "Listlessness and dissatisfaction resulting from lack of interest." I could add 'restless', 'irritable', and 'discontent.' The French term is also the ...
Views: 770 - Over 30 Need Not Apply - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2008 from H. Les BrownKo-Ko. Are you old enough to marry, do you think? Won't you wait till you are eighty in the shade? There's a fascination frantic In a ruin that's romantic; Do you think you are sufficiently decayed? Katisha. To the matter that you mention ...
Views: 764 - The Young Adult And The Ostrich - by Submitted on Sep 29, 2008 from H. Les BrownOnce upon a time, there was a man. Although he was still young, he was an extraordinary man in many ways. Yet, in spite of his many talents and successes, he was very much like the other men of his age: he didn't want to hear bad news. So, he did the same things he saw all the other men around ...
Views: 760 - What Will Your Transition Cost? - by Submitted on Aug 14, 2008 from H. Les BrownOn paper, it seems obvious that people should plan for a major shift in perspective that should occur just about the time they settle in to their relationships, their careers and their sense of personal achievement and well=being. That's all very fine to speculate about before the fact. Yet, a ...
Views: 760 - Coping With Financial Catastrophe - by Submitted on Sep 18, 2008 from H. Les BrownIn case you're among the .001% of the population who might not have noticed (who knows? perhaps you've been in a coma for the past six months), the world's financial institutions are in meltdown. Commentators the world over are using the term 'unprecedented' to describe what's happening. That ...
Views: 757 - I'll Take the High Road - Will You? - by Submitted on Sep 09, 2008 from H. Les BrownIf I were to have to choose the single most disruptive element of the midlife transition, it would have to be an irreversible transformation in core values. There's a certain inevitability about that seismic shift, since the essence of the midlife transition centers around the breakdown of ...
Views: 756 - The (Aging) Parent Trap - by Submitted on Sep 28, 2008 from H. Les Brown"Nothing's certain but death and taxes," they say. I have to ask, "What's so certain about death and taxes?" The only certitude that we really have is that stuff will happen: some of it enjoyable, some of it painful, some of it avoidable, most of it not. There's an aspect of midlife that becomes ...
Views: 754 - The Threat Of Abundance - by Submitted on Sep 21, 2008 from H. Les BrownI am a very fortunate guy . . . I really should say that I'm extremely blessed. I live in a modest but lovely home in a summer resort one mile from a beautiful beach. I'm have a relationship that's stable and loving with a level of communication and mutual appreciation and understanding that's ...
Views: 743 - Don't Confuse Me With The Facts! - by Submitted on Oct 06, 2008 from H. Les BrownThere are (among other things) at least two features that we guys are famous for: not asking for directions, and never reading the instructions before assembling a new 'toy'. That describes me fairly well. I remember driving through the maze of streets in Salerno, Italy, trying to get to the ...
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