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Articles from H. Les Brown | Selfgrowth.com
- Circle Of Influence Vs Circle Of Concern - by Submitted on Nov 03, 2008 from H. Les BrownIn the middle of his chapter on his first habit ("Be Proactive"), Dr. Stephen R. Covey, in his famous Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, lays out two circles: the outer circle being your circle of concern, the inner circle representing your circle of influence. His point is that we are ...
Views: 6604(1 vote) - 'Twas the Night Before Christmas - by Submitted on Dec 24, 2008 from H. Les Brown...and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. There's not a person in our Western culture alive today who wasn't brought up hearing or reading Clement Clark Moore's poem from 1823, "A Visit from Saint Nicholas." Regardless of your religious beliefs and ...
Views: 1372 - . . . The Wisdom to Know the Difference - by Submitted on Apr 06, 2009 from H. Les BrownOne of the most difficult virtues to attain is wisdom. Nobody becomes wise through an accident of birth or by osmosis. As has often been said, wisdom derives from good judgment, which, in turn, derives from bad judgment — and an awful lot of it. Jesus told his disciples, "By their fruits you ...
Views: 1654 - 57% Of Layoffs Occur In Middle Age - by Submitted on Sep 22, 2008 from H. Les Brown23255031Even though the information (from the Center for Research on Organizational & Managerial Excellence) may be a little dated, the basic truth behind the facts reported in a 2003 survey from Texas remain very relevant. If you're between 30 and 50, you have an almost 60% chance of being ...
Views: 894 - A Message from Your Empty Nest - by Submitted on Aug 27, 2008 from H. Les BrownIf you've married, then I think it's safe to assume that, at some point in your journey, you thought you'd found the perfect partner. I don't have to be clairvoyant to say that, sooner or later along that same journey, you were disappointed. You might think that this disappointment that comes ...
Views: 799 - A Sneak Peek at the Future - by Submitted on Nov 16, 2008 from H. Les BrownAs the world financial situation continues to unravel before our eyes, the last vestiges of that sense of security that we've all been led to believe in has been exposed as the fairy tale that it's always been. We've always had plenty of evidence all around us that 'security' was an illusion ...
Views: 875 - Anger - The Hidden 'Gotcha' Of Midlife - by Submitted on Oct 01, 2008 from H. Les BrownFor the uninitiated, the midlife crisis seems inexplicable. Why would someone who should be really happy behave so erratically? There's the key, though: they should be really happy . . . but they're not! Even those closest to the midlife sufferer are apt to be shocked and confused because ...
Views: 811 - Anger and Gratitude Don't Mix - by Submitted on Nov 27, 2008 from H. Les BrownI wanted to write an article that somehow relates the midlife transition with the Thanksgiving Holiday (as I'm writing this, it's the day before US Thanksgiving). The answer that came to me was surprisingly simple: all that would be necessary would be for me to point out that you can't be angry ...
Views: 1212 - Are You a Midlife Entrepreneur? - by Submitted on Jan 16, 2009 from H. Les BrownHere's to a new beginning. You're off to a fresh start. You have new hope, new prospects, new horizons, a new vision. Your life is half over, you're dissatisfied with what you've accomplished, and here's your chance to get moving. No time like the present, you say. You look at what your boss ...
Views: 1187 - Are You Part of the Problem? - by Submitted on Sep 08, 2008 from H. Les BrownIf you're in business or running a business, you're probably familiar with the classical SWOT analysis: a survey of Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats that should be used in the evaluation of any proposal for a new process or approach. If you're at all successful, you'll realize ...
Views: 798 - Avoid Uncertainty At Your Own Risk - by Submitted on Sep 19, 2008 from H. Les BrownOf all the columnists in The Washington Post, one of my favorites is Shankar Vedantam who writes "Department of Human Behavior." He's not only a good, clear writer, his research is excellent, and he has no axes to grind. He tells it like it is. In his recent column entitled "The Power of ...
Views: 795 - Avoiding the 'Drop' One Day at a Time - by Submitted on Mar 16, 2009 from H. Les BrownYou may or may not recognize the 'drop,' depending on your age and what are of the country or the world you may be inhabiting. The 'drop' is that cataclysmic moment when the executioner pulls the lever, the trap door flops down, and the condemned plummets earthward . . . to an extent. Many ...
Views: 1466 - Bah! Humbug! Here Come the Holidays! - by Submitted on Dec 15, 2008 from H. Les BrownThe downward spiral that does the most damage to men (and women) at midlife shows itself as a tailspin deeper and deeper into aggravation. It begins with the everyday frustrations of life. These seeds of midlife crisis begin to germinate under the combination of physical (hormonal) changes that ...
Views: 1040 - Balancing Your Needs Against Your Wants - by Submitted on Nov 21, 2008 from H. Les BrownLet's assume for the sake of argument that you're going to pass through a number of careers in your lifetime (because you are). Let's also assume that retirement isn't in the picture for you (because it's not). That means that, sooner or later, you're going to be asking yourself some difficult ...
Views: 1422 - Barack Obama And The World At Midlife - by Submitted on Nov 14, 2008 from H. Les BrownNever fear: this is not a political exposé. Instead, it's a reflection on a fascinating conversation that I had with Dr. Jed Diamond last night on my internet radio program. As you may know, Dr. Jed is the author of the best-selling books, Male Menopause and The Irritable Male Syndrome. ...
Views: 1239 - Begin with the End in Mind - by Submitted on Feb 16, 2010 from H. Les BrownI want to begin my article series for 2010 with the seemingly incongruous topic of 'death' for a number of very good reasons, the first of which would be having experienced the unexpected death of a favorite aunt only a few days ago on New Year's eve. We certainly had not planned on ringing in a ...
Views: 1370 - Can You Win The Uphill Midlife Battle? - by Submitted on Aug 29, 2008 from H. Les Brown'The more things change, the more they stay the same.' Have you ever had that thought? Have you also noticed that, the harder you push to change the way things are, the less progress you seem to make? Although this experience isn't confined to guys passing through midlife (it's a common ...
Views: 883 - Change Your Partners, Dos-à-Dos - by Submitted on Dec 16, 2008 from H. Les BrownWhen people think of the midlife transition, most often their minds go straight to the infamous midlife crisis and the radical changes that go along with it. People change their looks, they change their jobs and — way more than is necessary — they change partners. In fact, I ...
Views: 1078 - Climbing Out Of The Fog - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2008 from H. Les BrownIt’s impossible to plan for or even prepare for the midlife transition without doing some serious self-work. You can’t very well establish a path and direction for yourself without having at least a vague idea of where you are and where you want to go. You’ll find it even more ...
Views: 814 - Commit or Die - by Submitted on Feb 09, 2009 from H. Les BrownLast Friday, I had an unsettling experience. I've been spending the past few months scouring the web, looking for places where men leave — and find — wisdom-droppings. You know what I mean by 'wisdom-droppings' don't you? They're those little sayings or stories or insights that you ...
Views: 1224 - Coping With Financial Catastrophe - by Submitted on Sep 18, 2008 from H. Les BrownIn case you're among the .001% of the population who might not have noticed (who knows? perhaps you've been in a coma for the past six months), the world's financial institutions are in meltdown. Commentators the world over are using the term 'unprecedented' to describe what's happening. That ...
Views: 757 - Could It Be Male Menopause? - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2008 from H. Les BrownI'd like to remind you about the function of hormones in the human body. Some people unfortunately underestimate their function and importance. Hormones are the chemical messengers that control the operation of all the body's systems. You could liken them to the way a television signal causes ...
Views: 785 - Detecting the Deadly Detour - by Submitted on Oct 19, 2008 from H. Les BrownJust a couple of days ago, our family interred my uncle at Arlington National Cemetery will full military honors. He was an Air Force Lieutenant Colonel who once served in the Pentagon under Robert McNamara during the Kennedy-Johnson administrations. He was quite a brilliant and accomplished ...
Views: 831 - Distracted by Life - by Submitted on Jan 16, 2009 from H. Les BrownWow! It's been a long time (almost a week) since I've been able to write about all things midlife! Sometimes, events conspire to take your attention off the duties of the day-to-day world and force you to focus on what's more pressing and immediate. That's one of the great stressors of life: ...
Views: 1292 - Diversions, Distractions, and Drama - by Submitted on Mar 16, 2009 from H. Les BrownI keep asking the same sorts of questions whenever I write: "How's 2009 working out for you?" If you're a 'boomer, you're in or beyond midlife, and what's going on in the world markets today are doubtless having a really negative impact on you, your family, and — evidently — your plans. Chances ...
Views: 1409 - Does Midlife Make You a 'Lone Wolf'? - by Submitted on Sep 08, 2008 from H. Les BrownOne of the five scales that sociologists use to measure cultural differences is called 'individuation', which is contrasted with 'collectivism'. The scale measures where a society falls along the continuum that represents whether the culture is more individual- or group-oriented. In case you ...
Views: 787 - Don't Confuse Me With The Facts! - by Submitted on Oct 06, 2008 from H. Les BrownThere are (among other things) at least two features that we guys are famous for: not asking for directions, and never reading the instructions before assembling a new 'toy'. That describes me fairly well. I remember driving through the maze of streets in Salerno, Italy, trying to get to the ...
Views: 740 - Don't Select the Route before You Know the Destination - by Submitted on Feb 23, 2009 from H. Les BrownAs a coach, I know very well how important goal-setting is. Also, as a coach, I know that goals aren't all that they're often cracked up to be. As critical a competency as goal-setting is, if misused, sometimes it can have some very unfortunate consequences. I want to take some time in this ...
Views: 1185 - Exit Plan Or Shot In The Dark? - by Submitted on Sep 26, 2008 from H. Les BrownAbout fifteen years ago, I was unemployed for about six months. To be honest, it wasn't exactly my finest hour. I had plenty of speaking and counseling experience (from my time in the ministry), but I had no 'official' training nor a license to practice. I had experience in tech writing and ...
Views: 922 - Facing The Financial Crunch - by Submitted on Sep 30, 2008 from H. Les BrownEconomist and Washington Post columnist Steven Pearlstein wrote this morning that most of those who are in charge of the governing of the world's economy just don't 'get it:' they've underestimated the severity of the economic crisis that's in the process of swallowing up the world's financial ...
Views: 869 - Facing The Wreckage Of Midlife - by Submitted on Sep 04, 2008 from H. Les BrownAccording to the majority of the respondents on my little unscientific survey, what concerns people most about the midlife transition is facing physical deterioration and the loss of youth and beauty. Is it because looking in the mirror starts to remind you of your own mortality? Or, do you feel ...
Views: 873 - Finding Peace With Yourself - by Submitted on Oct 23, 2008 from H. Les BrownI do spend some time with what I call the 'Education Section' of the Washington Post every morning. Everyone else may refer to it as the 'Style Section', but to me it'll always be the 'Education Section.' That's where I get my daily dose of wisdom from the comics (don't be mistaken: they're not, ...
Views: 1973 - Get Proactive Or Face The Consequences - by Submitted on Nov 06, 2008 from H. Les BrownI'm putting out a warning call that the wise (especially wise men) will want to pay attention to: get proactive about midlife or face the consequences. For almost 20 years, author Stephen R. Covey (The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People) has been trying to convince people that taking a ...
Views: 928 - Getting from Child-ish to Child-like - by Submitted on Aug 25, 2008 from H. Les BrownThe myth of the happy childhood hides a sad truth: that one of the principal effects of 'education' seems to be the process of 'disillusionment'. I call this process 'sad', but, in fact, it's more like 'tragic'. In early childhood, youngsters are more closely aligned with their inner destiny ...
Views: 792 - Getting Our Anniversary All The Way To Happy - by Submitted on Sep 12, 2008 from H. Les BrownToday, my partner and I celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary (OK . . . I'll admit it: we were both late bloomers and re-treads). As usual, these annual celebrations present an opportunity to look back over the years, to see what worked well (and what worked not-so-well), to take stock of how ...
Views: 824 - How Deep Will Your Midlife Crisis Go? - by Submitted on Aug 15, 2008 from H. Les BrownI was determined not to have a midlife crisis. I had one. The scary part of it all was that the results lasted over a period of about 20 years. By 'results', I mean there were unresolved issues that hung on for that length of time. That's one of the most uncomfortable aspects of a midlife ...
Views: 994 - How Do I Avoid Thee? Let Me Count The Ways! - by Submitted on Dec 19, 2008 from H. Les BrownI think that one of the biggest differences between the way women approach the midlife transition and the way men do derives from the very strong tendency that men have toward avoidance of significant midlife issues. It's also one of the biggest dangers that men face going into midlife, because ...
Views: 1073 - How Much Are You Leaving Behind? - by Submitted on Aug 28, 2008 from H. Les BrownOne of the 'features' of entering into the midlife transition happens to be the dawning realization of just how tenuous our connection to this plane of existence really is. I fondly remember evenings as a student in Ottawa, Ontario spent at the Colonel Bye lounge enjoying the comedy of ...
Views: 1095 - How Not To Beat Yourself Up - by Submitted on Sep 24, 2008 from H. Les BrownI want to open by complementing you on your sense of responsibility. I know that I'm talking to the right person, because anyone who is concerned enough about midlife issues to be reading about it has to have a well-developed sense of responsibility and concern for their own (and their loved ...
Views: 2938 - How Powerful Is Your Denial? - by Submitted on Nov 18, 2008 from H. Les BrownThere's a qualitative difference between the male ego and the female ego. I've never heard of anyone demanding of any female that she prove that she's a 'real women.' It's just assumed. It's taken for granted. A woman is born a woman. That's exactly the opposite condition from the one that all ...
Views: 1035 - How Stuck Are You in Your Job? - by Submitted on Nov 20, 2008 from H. Les BrownDo you remember a time when your work was fun? Do you remember when you looked forward to going to wok? (If you don't remember these things, then you'd better start taking a closer look at the career you've chosen for yourself!) When you remember these good times, see if you can make a list ...
Views: 1059 - How to Deal with Slowin' Down - by Submitted on Aug 17, 2008 from H. Les BrownI've said this before in public, and so I might as well repeat it: I'm a huge wuss when it comes to not feeling well. I've heard women complain that men don't do sickness well, and when I hear that, I silently have to agree — at least in the case of this one man. My mind generally travels ...
Views: 667 - I (Dis)Honestly Love You - by Submitted on Aug 18, 2008 from H. Les BrownMy apologies to Olivia Newton-John for the parody on her hit song from the '70's, but midlife is the time when couples have been on the same merry-go-round for so long that they're getting saddle sores. Experience tells me that people go into committed relationships with every intention to make ...
Views: 831 - I Can't Get No . . . Satisfaction - by Submitted on Oct 22, 2008 from H. Les BrownThe three emotional characteristics that most clearly define a man in midlife are 'restless', 'irritable' and 'discontent'. No wonder they 'can't get no satisfaction'! There's quite a significant difference between the ways that men and women deal with this bucket of emotional pain: women ...
Views: 803 - I'll Take the High Road - Will You? - by Submitted on Sep 09, 2008 from H. Les BrownIf I were to have to choose the single most disruptive element of the midlife transition, it would have to be an irreversible transformation in core values. There's a certain inevitability about that seismic shift, since the essence of the midlife transition centers around the breakdown of ...
Views: 756 - I'm Sure I'm Terminally Unique - by Submitted on Sep 02, 2008 from H. Les Brown"I just know I'm the only one in the world who feels this way!" Somehow, the feelings of guilt over your (real or imagined) failures, the confusion and fears that haunt you over decisions (big or small), the barely-controllable urges to run away or get drunk or high or just go wild, all conspire ...
Views: 1119 - Inter-Personal Inter-ruptions - by Submitted on Aug 20, 2008 from H. Les BrownDo you have a long-term primary love relationship? Can you remember that moment when your heart felt so full to bursting that you just had to volunteer, "I love you" for the first time? Can you remember the moment when s/he first said it to you? Do you remember a moment when, in front of people ...
Views: 659 - Is Marital Infidelity Genetically Determined? - by Submitted on Sep 02, 2008 from H. Les BrownAccording to the news today, marital fidelity in males has a genetic component. About 40 percent of the men studied exhibited a genetic makeup that made it more difficult for them to establish intimate, long-term relationships and strong family ties. The other 60% (who lacked that particular ...
Views: 1045 - Is The Man in the Mirror a Fraud? - by Submitted on Nov 09, 2008 from H. Les BrownFor the past few days, I've been reading Dr. Jed Diamond's newest book, The Irritable Male Syndrome with rapt attention (in advance of interviewing him on my upcoming internet radio program). In my estimation, this book is required reading for anyone in the helping professions. It explores a ...
Views: 1198 - Life Is Change (Stagnation Equals Death) - by Submitted on Oct 15, 2008 from H. Les BrownWe humans have a morbid fascination with security. What's this all about? As you look more closely at how we define 'security' for ourselves, you can begin to learn what it is you really mean when you say that you're working to provide a secure future for your family. Doesn't it mean that you ...
Views: 986