Our local Giant supermarket has introduced hand scanners so that you can just walk up and down the aisles, collecting your groceries, while scanning them and bagging them right in your cart. Checkout involves downloading the inventory from the hand scanner into a self-serve checkout station. ... Views: 1479
Emily Dickinson wrote, "Remorse is cureless, the disease not even God can heal." 'Remorse' arises as a sorrow for past decisions that you've made, while 'regret' serves as a broader, more useful term, describing a wish that you'd made other choices in the past: choices either to avoid doing ... Views: 2343
On last night's internet radio program, I interviewed rock musician and author, Steve Mayfield, about his new album and book, Afterlife Crisis. One of the principle themes (that became a song on his album) was that, even when we've gotten through the midlife transition, we still can't find a ... Views: 1017
You know, there's one thing I can say for being an expert in midlife: when an emotional crisis sneaks up from behind you and pounces on your back, you know the material well enough that you can identify the beast before it takes too bad of a bite out of you. Even if you can't figure out in the ... Views: 730
Every day you live, you collect stuff. Just imagine the sheer volume of information that passes into your psyche every day, from what you see, what you read, what you experience, what you think, what you do (consciously or unconsciously), and the decisions you make. Every second — awake or ... Views: 854
In October of this year, the American Psychological Association issued a report on stress by gender. Here is some of what they said:
In June 2008, more people reported physical and emotional symptoms due to stress than they did in 2007, and nearly half (47 percent) of adults reported that their ... Views: 1273
In 1980, singer Grace Jones released her version of the song, "Love is the Drug" and it soon became a hit on the disco circuit. It's true: though we don't always think about it in those terms, love is a very potent drug. Who doesn't love being high on love? To be sure, though, it's not the only ... Views: 804
Unpleasant surprises don't necessarily have to be a necessary part of the process of midlife transition. 'Shock and awe' may have have some usefulness in military operations, but they clearly don't belong in a well-managed life. Although it's impossible to predict all the eventualities of ... Views: 779
Over the past number of years, there has been an explosion of advertising around pharmaceuticals that are designed to alleviate problems with ED [erectile dysfunction] in men (for the drug companies and advertising agencies, the embarrassment of ED has apparently replaced the heartbreak of ... Views: 1033
Ko-Ko.
Are you old enough to marry, do you think?
Won't you wait till you are eighty in the shade?
There's a fascination frantic
In a ruin that's romantic;
Do you think you are sufficiently decayed?
Katisha.
To the matter that you mention
... Views: 764
As I was considering a title for this article, I wanted to find a verb that would express what's on the 'other side' of the midlife transition. I guess that I'm in quite a good mental state right now, because before I knew it, I had found the perfect word: ravished. It's a word that touches a ... Views: 1115
For a couple of years, my partner had to have periodic allergic desensitization shots. He found it very unhandy to administer the shots to himself, so he enlisted my help. I became his unofficial shot-giver. Although I'd never done anything like that before, I followed instructions, practiced ... Views: 868
Well . . . to be honest with you, the end is near whether or not you choose to repent: the end of the year 2008, that is. We humans have a particular affinity for the ending of things: like graduations and funerals (not that there's any other similarity between the two). Yet, we mark transitions ... Views: 1158
Once more, the Grim Reaper is coming up the pathway to visit the old year, 2008. The economic forces that were put in motion over the last ten years have finally tipped the scales, particularly over the last six months. Huge corporations are dropping like flies or are begging to be propped up by ... Views: 1039
You see all those fancy letters after my name? The 'MA' (at least one of them) is the result of my fascination with Western (Greek) philosophy. These ancient brilliant minds, after all, laid the foundation for our entire cultural perspective. What to us 'sophisticated' contemporary thinkers ... Views: 1077
You know what they say: "Time and tide wait for no man." And, you know, they're right. Time's up, guys! Tide's gone out, and there's not enough water left to float your boat. For the past four months, I've been focusing my energies on addressing the single most critical time in a person's life ... Views: 731
We know one thing for certain regarding midlife: it's an emotional maelstrom. The principal difference between your reactions to the emotions that you experience during the midlife transition and the ones you endured during puberty lies in the fact that you're so much more adept at finding ... Views: 822
It sure seems like when a guy hits middle age, it all hits the fan — and all at once. You know what they say: 'feelings aren't facts', but it certainly seems that way, doesn't it? At the same time, many people don't count on how statistics conspire together to make you the target of ... Views: 1374
'Be careful what you pray for, 'cause you just might get it.' Have you ever heard that saying? In my opinion, it so perfectly describes the pitfalls of adulthood. Keep in mind that I have what I think is quite a unique definition for 'adulthood': childhood without the parental constraints. The ... Views: 794
Would you like to know what the essence and the root cause of the midlife crisis is? Would you like me to let you in on the Big Secret? Actually, it's not really a secret at all, but it is BIG. The infamous midlife crisis is nothing more (and nothing less) than a crisis in meaning. My personal ... Views: 950
"Nothing's certain but death and taxes," they say. I have to ask, "What's so certain about death and taxes?" The only certitude that we really have is that stuff will happen: some of it enjoyable, some of it painful, some of it avoidable, most of it not. There's an aspect of midlife that becomes ... Views: 754
Yesterday evening, I was working away at my desk, prepping for my Thursday evening internet radio program, when up pops an e-mail announcing that I had been befriended by someone over at BlogCatalog.com. Curious (I have few friends over there, since I'm a recent member), I stopped by to view ... Views: 1948
This is an era of ever-tightening budgets and precarious performance in students' basic skills. It's an era of 'No Child Left Behind', although very many still are. Many inner-city schools are in disrepair, school supplies are hard to come by, and teachers are generally ridiculously under-paid ... Views: 7440
What an absolutely amazing time to be a 'Boomer! If you're a person who likes a challenge, you'll absolutely love 2009! There's nothing quite like the fear of financial insecurity to stress every system in your life (your career, your relationships and your health) to within an inch of its ... Views: 1631
Several years ago, my friend, Dr. Jed Diamond explained how masculine acculturation was creating a huge obstacle for men in the workforce: both young and old. As the world moves from an industrial model to a "post-industrial" (or knowledge-based) economy, the skill sets most in demand evolve ... Views: 1368
As if the emotional, social, cultural and hormonal changes that overtake a man during the midlife transition aren't severe enough, he also has to factor in a biologically-based uphill battle that he has to fight to maintain his place in the world. Dr. Simon Baron-Cohen from Cambridge University ... Views: 1929
Each of us begins his or her life at the center of a perfect 3-pronged conspiracy. Born into an established environment, you immediately commence your cultural formation. After the initial explosion of neural and synaptic formations, for the first three years of your life, your environment plays ... Views: 1689
One day my father, as a young man, came home from work to find the apartment cleaned out of furniture and swept clean. His wive (not my mother) was gone. Needless to say, reconciliation wasn't an option. I also know of a woman who was so alienated from her husband that, from time to time, he'd ... Views: 1355
The year has changed . . . how about you? What changes are facing you in 2009? If you're a man in midlife, change has probably caught you like the incoming tide and is carrying you along with its often-understated power. Now, the question remains: what are you going to do about it?
Your ... Views: 1113
Here's a double spoiler for you, first for the 1983 movie, War Games, then for this article: as the computer, Joshua, comments at the end of this picture: "A strange game. The only winning move is not to play." It works as well for global thermonuclear war as it does for the age-old conflict ... Views: 1074
Just because I've made it "over the hill" doesn't necessarily mean that it's smooth sailing from now on. As a matter of fact, think back to when you were a teenager still walking riding your bike everywhere you wanted to go. Couldn't you just taste the freedom and all the possibilities that were ... Views: 1168
Saturday was the first (and the biggest) costume party of the Halloween season around here. I went as the scariest thing I could think of: the New York Stock Exchange. Sadly, I didn't win the 'Scariest Costume' prize . . . I lost out to a store-bought devil. I'm not sure whether this particular ... Views: 995
I am a very fortunate guy . . . I really should say that I'm extremely blessed. I live in a modest but lovely home in a summer resort one mile from a beautiful beach. I'm have a relationship that's stable and loving with a level of communication and mutual appreciation and understanding that's ... Views: 743
When I was growing up, way back in the old days of black-and-white television (in the very early 1960's), the US Army produced a weekly half-hour program that they called The Big Picture, and it opened with a graphic depicting the globe. John Glenn had not yet taken his first manned orbital ride ... Views: 987
If I didn't know better (but I'm not sure that I do), I'd say the world was having a midlife crisis. Whether it's about half-way through it's life span, I don't know; but I do think that it's behaving just like a middle-aged guy. As I read my morning Washington Post today — with one eye ... Views: 1157
Once upon a time, there was a man. Although he was still young, he was an extraordinary man in many ways. Yet, in spite of his many talents and successes, he was very much like the other men of his age: he didn't want to hear bad news. So, he did the same things he saw all the other men around ... Views: 760
Remember Charles Dickens' opening lines to A Tale of Two Cities? "It was the best of times. It was the worst of times." These words apply to more than just Paris before the French Revolution. Welcome to the holidays! If you're older than 5, these are the days that we genuinely love to hate. ... Views: 1001
Yesterday I went for my biennial eye exam. I had all the drops and the blinding equipment scanning my cornea and retina. I read the charts so often that I had the bottom line memorized by the time I was finished: O V T C Z 2. Naturally, my eyes were a little worse than they were two years ago, a ... Views: 908
This is my first day back in my home office since I left on my Vancouver trip last week. In the meantime, something unpleasant happened to me: some kind of nasty, lingering stomach virus that has left me wanting to do nothing more than just sleep. Getting sick is one of life's most unpleasant ... Views: 682
Recently, I had a question from a man who was in serious pain because . . . his wife was going through a midlife crisis. In some ways, there's nothing odd or strange about that: women and men both experience the physical and emotional changes that signal the transition from adulthood to ... Views: 942
Thinking of retiring? If pundits are right (and it certainly looks that way from here), the concept of 'retirement' has been put to rest — permanently. Take a look at the recent history of employee benefits. Pensions were the first to go. They relied on a continuous growth model that has ... Views: 1046
On paper, it seems obvious that people should plan for a major shift in perspective that should occur just about the time they settle in to their relationships, their careers and their sense of personal achievement and well=being. That's all very fine to speculate about before the fact. Yet, a ... Views: 760
Are you noticing that the signs of menopause are starting to show up? Can you feel the changes happening in your body? Is it one of the topics of conversation when you and your closest friends get together? Have you already started discussing it with your doctor? How are you feeling about these ... Views: 1762
The French have the perfect word for it: ennui. It means 'boredom' but it also means so much more. The dictionary defines the word as meaning, "Listlessness and dissatisfaction resulting from lack of interest." I could add 'restless', 'irritable', and 'discontent.' The French term is also the ... Views: 770
A little over a month ago, I had one of those 'milestone' birthdays . . . you know the kind . . . they're the ones that end in a '0'. It didn't bother me too much this time. Actually, I felt rather good about reaching that age at a time when people are saying, "You're kidding! You're that old?" ... Views: 774
We're quickly coming into an age when multiple generations are experiencing the midlife transition simultaneously. Perhaps we're already at that point. From my research, it's becoming clear that a far broader range of age groups self-identify as 'middle-aged': people from their mid-thirties into ... Views: 944
Quick: stop reading right now and write down your top three core values. Do it now! . . .
How hard was that? How long did it take you? Did you have to stop and ask yourself, "What does he mean by 'core values'?" Did you have to stop and think, confused by a long list of things that seem very ... Views: 901
You have competency. That's not enough. You have experience. So do a lot of other people. You have long-term loyalty. That's not relevant. You have a family, a mortgage, car payments, expenses, tuition. It's not even a consideration. You're over fifty; it's too late to start over for crying out ... Views: 1484
What happens when your clock strikes twelve? There's no fairy godmother, no pumpkin coach or coachmen, no ball gown or glass slippers, no Prince Charming. Nothing left but some very hard work. Everybody's clock hits midnight once in a while. When it does, especially when you're in the midst of ... Views: 903
Just before we moved from Connecticut to Delaware (where we now live), I was only about a month away from earning my instrument rating on my private pilot's license. From everything I've heard, the instrument rating is the most difficult rating for a private pilot to achieve. If I were to ... Views: 986