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Articles from Tina Tessina | Selfgrowth.com
- Your Inner Detective - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2015 from Tina TessinaThe biggest obstacle to most of my clients’ healing and recovery is their inability to understand and accept their feelings, and the emotional and behavioral clues that indicate where the problems lie. Most of us learn early that being too open with our feelings and thoughts is dangerous. ...
Views: 1298(1 vote) - Zen + Sex = Starting Over? - by Submitted on Oct 18, 2015 from Tina TessinaMen and women have to redefine themselves after a relationship ends, and reinvent their lives. If they do it well, it can lead to the most satisfying and successful years they've had. Dating successfully after divorce or a breakup require several steps to recover from the ...
Views: 1128(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on: 11 things people won't tell you about divorce - by Submitted on Oct 17, 2014 from Tina TessinaThere's a lot of misinformation about divorce, and Dr. Romance would like to clear up some of the confusion. Here are 11 things people will not tell you about divorce. 1. Divorce will not make you happier, unless you’re leaving an abusive relationship.2. Divorce sometimes seems ...
Views: 1462(3 votes) - Coping with Critics - by Submitted on May 05, 2012 from Tina TessinaNo one likes to be criticized, fairly or not. It’s always difficult to deal with, and it can hurt. Because I’m a writer of books and columns, and because I’ve lectured, appeared on radio and TV, I am sometimes recognized in public. I’m glad I’m not more recognizable, for along with the lovely ...
Views: 3027(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: He wants to call all the shots and refuses to compromise - by Submitted on Jun 30, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My husband left me this past April. We are in our early twenties and we have been together since we were teenagers. We grew together so well, until he left me. He is Hispanic and very dominating and controlling. He wants to call all the shots and refuses to compromise. I ...
Views: 1250(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: How can I find a good man to love me for me? - by Submitted on Jun 03, 2019 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm a single mom, of a teenage son. I was never married to his dad (if you want to call him that). I have the hardest time finding a relationship cuz I am on SS income and I am judged by that. I am a loving person, the good guys want a woman that works or is very ...
Views: 823(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I am very confused and disillusioned - by Submitted on Mar 30, 2021 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am a youthful and attractive woman, mid-fifties, who is so confused about online and ads for meeting men. I have been wounded by these men who, after some meetings with them and being promised by THEM that they want to take me for dinner within a few days, they set the time ...
Views: 598(2 votes) - Dr. Romance Says: Lighten Up: Cures for Marital Boredom - by Submitted on May 24, 2012 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: The old folk songs say it: Oh, love is handsome, love is fine Love is a jewel when it is new; But when love's old, it waxes cold And fades away, like morning dew. Folk wisdom says it: If newlyweds put a penny in a jar for every time they make love in the first ...
Views: 1826(2 votes) - Emotional Hygiene - by Submitted on Jun 09, 2012 from Tina TessinaRecently, I had a minor but difficult surgical procedure to lance an abscess on my leg. It was very painful, and while I recovered physically pretty quickly, I had some Post -traumatic stress reactions—bad dreams, flashbacks, and upset—after my recovery. I had to acknowledge my upset and ...
Views: 2258(4 votes) - Getting to Yes - by Submitted on Aug 26, 2012 from Tina TessinaThe average person pays more attention to what she's saying or thinking about than what she is hearing, or how her words are "landing" on the other person. This self-involvement gets worse during an argument. You can become a much more effective communicator by using "attentive speaking" a ...
Views: 2978(2 votes) - Stupid Cupid - by Submitted on Jun 11, 2012 from Tina TessinaMiley Cyrus is only 19, and she's just gotten engaged to Liam Hemsworth. Will it last? Well, the fact that it's a celebrity match is not in its favor -- celebrity couples don't have a great track record. As a little pre-wedding gift, here's what Miley and Liam can do to make sure they're ready ...
Views: 1938(2 votes) - The Freedom of Maturity - by Submitted on Jul 30, 2012 from Tina TessinaAnd then, not expecting it, you become middle-aged…You achieve a wonderful freedom. It is a positive thing. —Doris Lessing Maturity or middle age means different things to different people. But for most, reaching a mature age means developing a new set of expectations. At mid-life it's ...
Views: 2493(2 votes) - Your Job on Earth - by Submitted on Mar 31, 2013 from Tina TessinaIn Peace, Love and Healing, Dr. Bernie Siegel says: “Whatever your age, if you learn to listen, your inner voice will speak to you about your path... your ‘job on earth.’ This wisdom that is directing you from within is your birthright... an inner message, an inner awareness, that says, ‘This is ...
Views: 1473(2 votes) - Getting Out of Your Way - by Submitted on Aug 19, 2012 from Tina TessinaRecently, I wrote here about making the most of time. This month, I have been asked a lot about how people can overcome paralysis and self-sabotage, so I thought I’d pass on my ideas on the subject. Getting in your own way is all about how you relate your yourself. In addition to not managing ...
Views: 2258(4 votes) - Success in Four Steps - by Submitted on Jul 30, 2012 from Tina TessinaIn my private counseling practice, clients often tell me, "I want to be happy!" We then set about making it a reality. As a psychotherapist, I know that your habits, your relationships, your environment, and especially what you think about them determine more about how happy you are than your ...
Views: 1891(4 votes) - Anger: Cleansing Squall or Hurricane? - by Submitted on Mar 03, 2012 from Tina TessinaAnger is the emotional energy within each of us that rises up when something needs to change. If you act on the need to create change, your anger can be channeled effectively; but it’s not redirected to something effective, your frustration will build, sometimes to hurricane force. Anger ...
Views: 1805(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I don't think I want to be in this relationship after all - by Submitted on Nov 11, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am currently reading your book, The 10 Smartest Decisions a Woman can Make Before 40 and absolutely loving it. I have been married for a year and four months and we are going through a really tough time right now. I have suggested counseling and my husband ...
Views: 1393(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I feel almost embarrassed about being a virgin at my age - by Submitted on Jul 04, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I came across your blog while searching the internet for help for women In dysfunctional relationships. Your language and spiritual, yet non judgmental approach really resonated with me. I am an ethnically mixed woman in my thirties. My parents divorced when I was young and ...
Views: 1990(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I want a man in my life that I can trust again. - by Submitted on Jun 24, 2019 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: After experiencing alot of physical and emotional abuse in my life, my last relationship was very damaging emotionally and physically. Now, many years later, I haven't had a serious relationship or even a date since. I've had two opportunities this year, but one wanted ...
Views: 948(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: It makes me very very upset, angry, pissed-off, and sad. - by Submitted on May 03, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I saw your article "Surviving Loss and Thriving Again" while searching for answers to my own issues. The 'loved one' I lost was myself. I loved life, loved adventure, travel, people, photography, mostly adventure! In 2 seconds my life was 'taken' away pretty much. This ...
Views: 1988(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: Why doesn't he want me? - by Submitted on Aug 12, 2018 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm a housewife in my mid-thirties, married for 7 years, In our marital life I have never been satisfied, because our sexual interaction never lasts more than 15 min. It makes me unhappy. I have spoken to him regarding this matter but he didn't take it seriously. I feel ...
Views: 877(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: "The Nail in the Fence: Healing Wounds" - by Submitted on Oct 26, 2010 from Tina TessinaThis arrived in Dr. Romance 's e-mail: “There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the ...
Views: 1965(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Your Job on Earth - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2011 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: It's easy to get discouraged when we become aware of the suffering throughout the world: natural disasters; racial prejudice; addiction and self-destruction; political oppression in its many forms (starvation, war, torture, misinformation, imprisonment, denial of rights ...
Views: 1133(1 vote) - Dr. Romance's 10 Behaviors to Enhance Your Marriage - by Submitted on Jun 26, 2014 from Tina TessinaWant to make sure your relationship is a success? Here are ten ways to bring the sparkle back and keep it going. Dr. Romance's 10 Behaviors to Enhance Your Marriage 1. Talk frequently and honestly to each other --about your frustrations, about sex, about anger, about disappointment, ...
Views: 1317(1 vote) - Fair Fight Guidelines - by Submitted on Jul 08, 2012 from Tina TessinaThirty years of marriage counseling and twenty-five years of a second marriage have convinced me that fights are not necessary in a marriage. Married couples need to have discussions, they need to solve problems, and sometimes they need to disagree, but they don’t need to squabble, argue, ...
Views: 1751(3 votes) - Letting Go Takes Love - by Submitted on Dec 14, 2014 from Tina TessinaWhen you feel beset in your life, and people close to you seem to be difficult and uncooperative, consider that they may be reflecting back to you the behavior your own anxiety is creating toward them. Learning to let go of your obsessively trying to control others can free you to receive ...
Views: 1785(1 vote) - Response-Ability - by Submitted on Mar 24, 2013 from Tina TessinaOne of the trends I dislike in our culture is the reluctance of people to take responsibility, or to respond with care to each other. In my counseling practice, I hear a lot of self-justification, mind-reading, defensiveness, blaming and complaining; which is why relationships, friendships, ...
Views: 1552(4 votes) - The Worrier’s Guidelines - by Submitted on Apr 07, 2013 from Tina TessinaThis exercise is especially effective when you can’t sleep or when you experience anxiety attacks. If you worry a lot, or obsessively think about future events and problems when you should be concentrating on other things, follow these simple steps: 1. Write it down. If you’re feeling anxious ...
Views: 2026(3 votes) - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: Give Yourself a Gift - by Submitted on Dec 27, 2012 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Want to give yourself a holiday gift that will last the rest of your life? Try giving yourself the gift of happiness. Research shows that happiness and satisfaction depend more on the inner person than on external circumstances. The secret to living a happy life is ...
Views: 1616(4 votes) - Dr. Romance Video: Guidelines for Relating with Love - by Submitted on Dec 02, 2012 from Tina TessinaClick here to view the video. A good marriage can be the most precious thing in your life, and bring you lasting comfort and joy. There's nothing better than a long-lasting, solid, loving relationship you can count on. Dr. Romance shows you how to open up the love and joy in your ...
Views: 1727(3 votes) - Dr. Romance: Why am I assumed to be a cougar good for only one thing? - by Submitted on Jun 05, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am a single woman in my late 40's. I've had several serious relationships, but unfortunately, although I lived with a couple of them, I've never been married. I have a minor physical disability, a stomach condition, but I am attractive, I look younger than I am, I'm well ...
Views: 2310(6 votes) - How to Heal a Rift with an Adult Child - by Submitted on Apr 13, 2013 from Tina TessinaFrequently I help my clients work through problems with their grown children. Sometimes, an offspring is angry about something, and the parent is at a loss for what is wrong or what to do about it. These struggles often have their seeds in things that happened long ago, when the child was young. ...
Views: 2527(3 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: Why this compulsion to cheat? - by Submitted on Jun 05, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm looking at myself and asking the question, "Why this compulsion to cheat?" What will it take to keep my eye from wandering around? I'm divorced, technically, but trying to make amends with the ex. I love my kids, and an absentee father just doesn't fit my taste. I'd ...
Views: 2690(5 votes) - Dr. Romance: Stop Reacting and Start Relating - by Submitted on Apr 13, 2010 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Richard and I will celebrate our 28th anniversary next month, and we agree there’s no better delight than sharing life with a loving partner, when you get along as well as we do. Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage is all ...
Views: 1592(5 votes) - Creating Connections: Draw Them In - by Submitted on May 12, 2012 from Tina TessinaMany years ago, an Edwin Markham poem inspired me, and I’ve tried to live by it "Outwitted" by Edwin Markham He drew a circle that shut me out — Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout. But Love and I had the wit to win: We drew a circle that took him in! As Markham says, we could see people ...
Views: 3913(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I caught him at the movies with her - by Submitted on Mar 14, 2016 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I have been married for 15 years. At the present time we are seeing a Marriage counselor for our really rocky marriage. I know its going to take some time. We are working on trust, understanding, caring, appreciation, and a few others, all the essentials of a marriage. But a ...
Views: 1464(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I'm sick of waiting and feeling I'm not good enough - by Submitted on Nov 18, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance, I am a young adult male who has always had some sort of complication in relationships. I need help on deciding what I should do from the point at where I'm at now. The situation is that I have been talking to this girl. She first started talking to me but I didn't really ...
Views: 2357(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: Is it appropriate for him to still have her in his life? - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am going through a break-up this week and pretty broken hearted. My boyfriend and I currently dated for the last year and nine months and it ended this week. He is my age, mid thirties but when he was in his early to mid twenties he had an affair with a much much older ...
Views: 1288(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: Should I Date My Girlfriend's Best Friend? - by Submitted on Feb 09, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I need relationship advice!!!? I have been with my girlfriend for 4 months now and her best friend who's a girl is also my best friend and I'm very close with the best friend. Me and my girlfriend do fight a lot but there are times where I'm in love with her. And me and the ...
Views: 4758(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: To this day I am not sure why he became so angry - by Submitted on Jul 25, 2019 from Tina TessinaDear Dr Romance: I hope you will be able to provide me with an insight. I was in a relationship with a man I genuinely loved and wanted future with. Our relationship was lovely to start with but after a few months problems started to emerge: another woman told me he was in a ...
Views: 1083(2 votes) - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: A Year of Peace - by Submitted on Jan 05, 2013 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Happy New Year, everyone! This is the time when a lot of energy is spent on making resolutions, most of which we don’t manage to keep. So, this year, especially given recent tragic events, I propose a different kind of resolution. Will you join me in ...
Views: 1623(4 votes) - Dr. Romance on 10 signs a guy is cheating on you - by Submitted on May 25, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Telling a guy you won't stand for cheating is a waste of time. Instead, be open and accepting, and encourage him to talk about his sexual exploits. If he's cheated before, he probably will cheat again. The best protection against cheating is to have open and frank ...
Views: 1590(2 votes) - Dr. Romance on Friends With Benefits - by Submitted on Nov 17, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: If you’re thinking about having sex with a friend, be very careful, because it is not easy to preserve a friendship once you have sex. We think we can control our feelings, but it's not so simple. *If one of you becomes romantically attached as a result of the ...
Views: 1293(4 votes) - Dr. Romance Video: On Spreading Kindness - by Submitted on Dec 06, 2012 from Tina TessinaIf video doesn't load, click here. Kindness is the lubrication for life, love and relationships. When you spread kindness, it comes back in many ways, and it’s the foundation of happiness. "Dr. Romance" shows how kindness works and why it’s important to learn to live kindly, even in today’s ...
Views: 1658(2 votes) - Dr. Romance's Guidelines for Not Fighting - by Submitted on Sep 15, 2014 from Tina TessinaFighting a lot? Dr. Romance recommends: No matter what you’re fighting about: money, sex, kids or something else, the fighting is an indication that your communication isn’t working. If this happens only occasionally, such as when one or both of you are tired or stressed; it’s not too big ...
Views: 1263(2 votes) - Dr. Romance's Happiness Tip: Alone on Valentine's Day? - by Submitted on Feb 14, 2012 from Tina TessinaValentine's Day gets a lot of media attention, and it can be hard to avoid. When you don't have a special someone to spend it with, or worse yet, you've just lost a relationship, it can be brutal. If you're alone, it's important to take good care of yourself. Gather your best friends around you ...
Views: 1937(2 votes) - Family Meetings - by Submitted on Jul 12, 2012 from Tina TessinaEvery member of your family has a right to have his or her opinions respected. You don’t have to agree or go along with what your child wants, but you should at least know what it is, and your child should know why you're overriding his or her preferences. Regular family meetings, where ...
Views: 1885(2 votes) - Creating Family Acceptance - by Submitted on May 20, 2012 from Tina TessinaLately, I’ve gotten so many anguished questions from people who are being criticized and rejected by family for making relationship choices the families don’t like, usually for cultural or religious reasons, that I changed my mind about what I was going to write this month. If your choice of ...
Views: 3181(3 votes) - Handling Anxiety Effectively - by Submitted on Sep 01, 2012 from Tina TessinaHandling Anxiety Effectively We are all in a time of high stress, and national disasters often bring up fear. If these fears are not dealt with, they can lead to “acting out” behavior, such as drinking too much or creating relationship, work or money problems as a distraction. To avoid these ...
Views: 2031(3 votes) - Emotions as Weather - by Submitted on Jul 02, 2012 from Tina TessinaAlthough most people in the country wouldn’t agree, we in Southern California have been having extreme weather conditions for us: rain and mudslides. You could almost say we’re so used to mild conditions that we become afraid of what others would call “real” ...
Views: 2961(2 votes)