Valentine's Day gets a lot of media attention, and it can be hard to avoid. When you don't have a special someone to spend it with, or worse yet, you've just lost a relationship, it can be brutal. If you're alone, it's important to take good care of yourself. Gather your best friends around you and make some special plans to have a wonderful day. Send valentines or personal notes to everyone who means a lot to you. Or, create and celebrate Volunteer Day and use your energy and resources on behalf of people who need your help.Volunteer to tutor students, help at a homeless shelter, or visit wounded veterans in the hospital.Having a plan that makes you happy is the best way to fend off the blues. Get together with friends or family, or go skiing or join a theater production! Make your Valentine's Day a spiritual growth time, attending a ritual or workshop or gathering with close friends instead of being outwith the crowds. If you are clear about what will make the day special for you, and focus on that instead of what's not happening, you'll feel better about yourself and you won't have any reason to pity yourself.

Here are some Do's and Don'ts.

DO: think about Valentine's Day in advance -- ask friends to join you, or find an activity that is meaningful to you.

DON'T: allow the occasion to sneak up on you

DO: Think about what will create the most meaningful experience for you. "Your Heart's Desire" can help you.

DON'T: focus on what everyone else might be doing.

DO: consider doing something different from your usual habits -- this is a great time to try something new

DON'T: isolate -- unless you do it as a meditative experience.

You have the power to make Valentine's Day a great day for you and your friends.

Adapted from: The 10 Smartest Decisions A Woman Can Make Before 40

Author's Bio: 

Dr. Romance's muses on love, relationships, celebrities, culture and life in general. In top 10 Sexperts!'s Blog of the Month: 'If anyone can call herself "Dr. Romance," it's REDBOOK Love Expert Tina Tessina. With a Ph.D., eight books and 30 years counseling experiencing under her belt, Tina has a lot to say about the everydays of life and love. Get to know the Doc.