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Articles from Tina Tessina | Selfgrowth.com
- Apology and Forgiveness - by Submitted on Mar 10, 2012 from Tina TessinaIn my clinical experience, I've encountered many clients who are afraid to admit they’re wrong. This comes from a culture of blaming and accusing—where one's early family may have picked a “culprit” when something went wrong, and focused on blame, rather than on fixing the problem and healing ...
Views: 2011 - Dear Dr. Romance: I Believe He's a Good Man at Heart - by Submitted on Oct 13, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My husband left to be with a much younger women. The problem became obvious in our marriage three years ago. I thought It would be something we would surpass. I was confused and did not act until one Friday night he did not come home to sleep. He came back that Saturday ...
Views: 2007 - Dear Dr. Romance: Why Is There No Support Line for Men? - by Submitted on Sep 25, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: Thank you for writing "Lighten Up - Cures for Marital Boredom." Please allow me to give my opinion as to my priorities. I always had the idea to start from the bottom of your list and go upwards. Work together to create a partnership. Sex is important in life, but not number ...
Views: 2005(1 vote) - Don’t Panic! - by Submitted on Jun 07, 2012 from Tina TessinaThere is always something in the news or on TV to scare us. Hysterical articles in the media sell papers, and attract eyeballs to websites, but are usually exaggerating the facts. If you listen without evaluating what you’re being told, it’s easy to become frightened. There's a reason why I ...
Views: 2005(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on The Perks of Dating a Divorced Person - by Submitted on May 24, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance asks: Should you date someone who is divorced? Does it mean the person can't commit or trashes relaitonships? It's possible that those things are true, but let's look on the positive side. What are the perks of people who have already been through ...
Views: 2001 - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: The Magic of Reassurance - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2012 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: There are a few simple communication techniques that work like magic in relationships, whether with committed partners, friends, co-workers or relatives. One of the most effective is reassurance, which is simple to do , and calms both of you down, which allows your ...
Views: 1998(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I feel almost embarrassed about being a virgin at my age - by Submitted on Jul 04, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I came across your blog while searching the internet for help for women In dysfunctional relationships. Your language and spiritual, yet non judgmental approach really resonated with me. I am an ethnically mixed woman in my thirties. My parents divorced when I was young and ...
Views: 1990(1 vote) - New Book: Decisions After Forty: Reinventing the Rest of Your Life - by Submitted on Jan 27, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr.Romance is happy to announce my newest ebook, The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make after Forty: Reinventing the Rest of Your Life. In your lifetime, if you are forty or older, you have gone from dial telephones to smart phones, typewriters to computers, and the Internet has ...
Views: 1989 - Dear Dr. Romance: It makes me very very upset, angry, pissed-off, and sad. - by Submitted on May 03, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I saw your article "Surviving Loss and Thriving Again" while searching for answers to my own issues. The 'loved one' I lost was myself. I loved life, loved adventure, travel, people, photography, mostly adventure! In 2 seconds my life was 'taken' away pretty much. This ...
Views: 1988(2 votes) - Could He/She Be A Control Freak? - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2013 from Tina Tessina3 ways to Stay Sane and Stay Married Is your spouse a control freak? It is driving you to distraction? Here are three tips to keep your relationship on track, keep you sane and stop you from going to divorce court. 1. Control freaks can be very successful. If yours is, give credit where ...
Views: 1984(5 votes) - But My Parents Divorced...Will I? - by Submitted on Dec 23, 2013 from Tina Tessina3 Must Do's If You Want To Break The Cycle If you're the adult child of a divorce or simply trying to improve your marriage, here are three tips to help you cultivate a good relationship with your partner. 1. Weekly State of the Union discussion. This is not an argument or complaint ...
Views: 1980(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I want a man in my life that I can trust again. - by Submitted on Jan 28, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: After experiencing alot of physical and emotional abuse in my life, my last relationship was very damaging emotionally and physically. Now, many years later, I haven't had a serious relationship or even a date since. I've had two opportunities this year, but one wanted ...
Views: 1967(2 votes) - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: "The Nail in the Fence: Healing Wounds" - by Submitted on Oct 26, 2010 from Tina TessinaThis arrived in Dr. Romance 's e-mail: “There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the ...
Views: 1965(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I Think I'll Be Eternally Grateful - by Submitted on Sep 11, 2012 from Tina TessinaThank you, Dear Dr Romance: I've stumbled across your website, and think I'm going to be eternally grateful for having done so. Your advice is a pleasure to read, with helpful action-plans for effecting change. I love your articles on relationships with parents/children, being one's own best ...
Views: 1960 - Dear Dr. Romance: I Feel Like We Have to Sneak Around and Hide - by Submitted on Dec 01, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am in a relationship with a man who twenty years younger. He is black, and I am white. We are very much in love. The problem is that my parents are very much against my dating a black man. They do not like the age difference either, but the being black is worse. This is ...
Views: 1953(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: Why Does He Want a Relationship? - by Submitted on Mar 15, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I met this guy through a phone call, but he contacted or got my profile through a friend of mine and he is satisfied through that, and he is convinced that he could have a relationship with me, he needs my affection, fear of God, caring, true feeling of sharing, happiness, ...
Views: 1953 - Dear Dr. Romance: My wife has been unhappy with me for years. - by Submitted on Feb 28, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I came across your name in an article on Yahoo titled "More Couples Sleeping Apart: Is ThisHealthy?". I am a thirtysomething man living on the West Coast. My wife and I have been together for ten years, married for six. We have three small children, and my ...
Views: 1952(2 votes) - How to Stretch Time - by Submitted on May 25, 2013 from Tina TessinaIt is indeed possible to stretch time—to make the time you have go farther, and use it more for what you really want to do. Stretching time is not difficult if you have the prerequisites: self-awareness, a sense of purpose, thoughtful action, and a playful approach. Self-Awareness: As with ...
Views: 1948 - Dear Dr. Romance: Why Do I Always Have Sex on the First Date? - by Submitted on Dec 10, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm trying to find out why I always have sex on the first date. This is not to say that I have sex with every girl I date, or even that every girl I've gone out with has even been interested in me. It is simply to say that the overwhelming majority of my "situations" have ...
Views: 1944(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Video: Dating Advice Every Single Mom Should Know - by Submitted on Feb 11, 2013 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance asks: Are you a single mom? Wondering whether you're too old to be back on the market? Well, wonder no more. Watch the video on YourTango.com Dating Advice Every Single Mom Should Know In this video, author, therapist and YourTango ...
Views: 1944(4 votes) - Merry Christmas from Dr. Romance! - by Submitted on Dec 26, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance wishes you Happy Holidays with a song lyric. A Holiday Toast To You lyric by Tina B. TessinaSparkling stars, twinkling lights,Shorter days, longer nightsBusy streets are tinseled and bright with Chanukah stars ...
Views: 1943 - Dr. Romance on How Not to be Shy at a Party - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2012 from Tina TessinaIntroverts can enjoy the parties, too, if they respect who they are and don’t let negative fantasies take over. Limit your social engagements to those that are manageable or meaningful to you, and allow plenty of time for being by yourself or with a single friend, if that's what makes you ...
Views: 1941(2 votes) - Stupid Cupid - by Submitted on Jun 11, 2012 from Tina TessinaMiley Cyrus is only 19, and she's just gotten engaged to Liam Hemsworth. Will it last? Well, the fact that it's a celebrity match is not in its favor -- celebrity couples don't have a great track record. As a little pre-wedding gift, here's what Miley and Liam can do to make sure they're ready ...
Views: 1938(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: My girlfriend doesn't think she can handle this relationship. - by Submitted on Feb 23, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am (or was, perhaps) in a fairly strong relationship for a few months now. Recently though, as the upcoming fall quarter approaches, my girlfriend doesn’t think she can handle a relationship. Between stress from school (she really wants her 4.0 this year), over-bearing ...
Views: 1937 - Dr. Romance's Happiness Tip: Alone on Valentine's Day? - by Submitted on Feb 14, 2012 from Tina TessinaValentine's Day gets a lot of media attention, and it can be hard to avoid. When you don't have a special someone to spend it with, or worse yet, you've just lost a relationship, it can be brutal. If you're alone, it's important to take good care of yourself. Gather your best friends around you ...
Views: 1937(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: On Dating at Work - by Submitted on Oct 02, 2012 from Tina TessinaClick here to view the video. Work can be the ideal environment for falling in love: you are in close proximity for a long period of time, you may have developed a good working partnership, and from there it is a short step to romance. However, workplace romance can present big problems. Dr. ...
Views: 1932 - Dear Dr. Romance: Is He Cheating on Me? - by Submitted on Jul 14, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: Is he cheating on me? Or am I just being paranoid? Me and my boyfriend have been together for 15 months now. A couple of weeks ago we broke up and then got back together after a week. When we broke up he kept texting me, asking “Are you happy?” and ...
Views: 1930 - Dear Dr. Romance: Should I Give Up on His Love? - by Submitted on Jul 17, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: We'd been really close and intimate. I thought we were going to be in a special relationship soon because he told me we were having something special. No matter how tired he was, he'd had his dinner with me. He got paranoid every time I threatened to stop ...
Views: 1927(1 vote) - The Nail in the Fence: Healing Wounds - by Submitted on Jun 09, 2013 from Tina TessinaI received the following in an email: “There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into ...
Views: 1923 - Dear Dr. Romance: I want the playgirl, but they like the bad boy type - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2016 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: This is something that's puzzling me for along time. I often do want the playgirl, but they like the more bad boy type. I know for sure I want sex without strings attached, many men get this, but I simply attract women who want a boyfriend, and I ...
Views: 1918(2 votes) - Dr. Romance video: Do men have biological clocks? - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2014 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance on men and biological clocks: To watch video, click here Yes, a man can feel the need to grow up and have a family, especially when he finds a woman who inspires those feelings in him. The problem is, how can you be sure the match is a good one? You’d think the positive ...
Views: 1910 - Dear Dr Romance: I Need a Good Self-Help Book - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I congratulate you for your many helpful articles on the Internet. I would like to have your advice. I am male and in the last 25 years I had a therapy experience which lasted 3 1/2 years and left me with unresolved issues; shorter therapy experiences with different ...
Views: 1905(2 votes) - Dr. Romance (with Alex Franzen) "Do. Not. React" - by Submitted on Jul 01, 2012 from Tina TessinaDO. NOT. REACT. Tips for surviving & mastering confrontation, with grace —in business & in love. Pop quiz, people: How do you drop an atom bomb of sudden, unexpected (and quite possibly, undesirable) information on someone you care about — without behaving like a cruel, ...
Views: 1903(2 votes) - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: Your Inner Mentor Can Create New Meaning - by Submitted on Nov 27, 2012 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Sooner or later all of us question the meaning of life. The sooner we get to it, the better chance we have of finding a satisfactory answer. As a therapist I watch many of my clients pass through stages of personal growth. Once they work through the issues that have held ...
Views: 1898(1 vote) - Success in Four Steps - by Submitted on Jul 30, 2012 from Tina TessinaIn my private counseling practice, clients often tell me, "I want to be happy!" We then set about making it a reality. As a psychotherapist, I know that your habits, your relationships, your environment, and especially what you think about them determine more about how happy you are than your ...
Views: 1891(4 votes) - Dr. Romance on Jealousy, Faithfulness and Distance - by Submitted on Jun 07, 2011 from Tina TessinaSo many couples are now separated part-or full-time because of military deployment and/or work travel and schedules, I get a lot of questions about faithfulness. Your marriage vows may have said, "'til death do us part" but no one said anything about what happens when a military career or ...
Views: 1889(2 votes) - Family Meetings - by Submitted on Jul 12, 2012 from Tina TessinaEvery member of your family has a right to have his or her opinions respected. You don’t have to agree or go along with what your child wants, but you should at least know what it is, and your child should know why you're overriding his or her preferences. Regular family meetings, where ...
Views: 1885(2 votes) - The Courage to Hope - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2012 from Tina TessinaWe’ve heard a lot about hope recently, but one thing was not said. Hope is scary. Anyone who dares to hope runs the risk of disappointment and feelings of failure. With the overwhelming focus on success in our culture, the threat of failure and disappointment is blown out of proportion. In my ...
Views: 1884(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I Do My Best to Stay in My Loving Heart - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: Quite honestly, all the info in "Lighten Up - Cures for Marital Boredom" is great. But if your list of reccomendations were a test, we have failed everyone or most of them. I am walking lightly around here, just knowing, somehow, somewhere in time, we will find our way back ...
Views: 1881(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: "Don't Call Your Ex!" - by Submitted on Nov 28, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance "Don't Call Your Ex" Dr. Romance’s How to handle being dumped DO put it in perspective If you're dumped, it hurts, but count your lucky stars. You don’t have a relationship if the other person's not really interested. DO understand that there were problems already ...
Views: 1877(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: How Do I Make Him Understand? - by Submitted on Nov 29, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: How do I make him understand? So my soon-to-be-ex is still in the house as well as myself! This is not working! He keeps trying to make things better, but I don't feel anything for him anymore. He has been better to me but is still very rude to our son and says hurtful ...
Views: 1876(2 votes) - Dr. Romance: When Love is Kind: Mutuality in Relationships - by Submitted on Jan 16, 2012 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Many people ask me, “How will I know if I'm in love?” Answer: Anyone who's in love usually knows it; the real question should be are we mutually in love, or am I wasting my time? If you want to be secure in your primary relationship, knowing how to create mutuality and ...
Views: 1876(1 vote) - Dr. Romance Video: How to be Civil to an Ex-Husband - by Submitted on Apr 16, 2012 from Tina Tessina[View the video here: http://youtu.be/1DM_RHzOBEk] The divorce was ugly, he was a jerk, but you still need to have contact with him because of your kids or finances. You hate to have to deal with him, but you have to. What can you do to make it better for yourself and your kids? Tina B. ...
Views: 1871(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: She cannot forgive all the hurt I have caused her - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance I came across your name in an article on Yahoo titled "More Couples Sleeping Apart: Is This Healthy?". My wife and I have been together since for over ten years, and have 3 children. and my wife has a daughter from a previous relationship. We ...
Views: 1867(1 vote) - Autonomy vs Dependency - by Submitted on Jun 07, 2014 from Tina TessinaSelf-determination and self-respect are the necessary keys to take full responsibility for and control over your own life. Without these keys, it’s easy to be caught up in the fantasy that there is someone else who will make it better, who can or should take total care of you, ...
Views: 1865 - Dear Dr. Romance: I'm really confused about a guy - by Submitted on Aug 11, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm really confused about a guy I know online from a social site, he's ten years older than I am. We've been in contact for several months. We now live in different countries. Recently, our chatting got intense and he told me that he likes me. ...
Views: 1850 - Dear Dr. Romance: I don't want to resent my wife - by Submitted on Oct 18, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I read your article "Attitude Adjustment" and some of the things you said really resonated. In recent years, I have found myself developing more and more resentment toward my wife (who thinks very differently than I do). I want to dissolve ...
Views: 1848(1 vote) - Family Violence Q&A - by Submitted on Jul 21, 2012 from Tina TessinaQ: My spouse and I often have arguments over the “small stuff.” How do we get past this so that we are not constantly bickering? A: I’ll bet neither of you would argue with your boss or work colleagues, or your children’s teachers the way you argue with ...
Views: 1848(1 vote) - Ten Things People Don’t Know about Therapy - by Submitted on Feb 10, 2013 from Tina TessinaI recently had a first session with a client who said, about halfway into the hour “Wow. I like you. I’m surprised.” I laughed, but I knew what the client meant. As a psychotherapist in private practice, I encounter a lot of people who waited far too long to come in for counseling because they ...
Views: 1843(6 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I can't live like this any more. - by Submitted on Mar 18, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I've seen your website and I think you may be the exact person to be able to help me. My wife and I have been married for just about 10 yrs., we have 3 beautiful children, and we live fairly comfortably (money is not too big of an issue). I grew up in a fairlyaffluent ...
Views: 1839(6 votes)