Dear Dr. Romance:

I congratulate you for your many helpful articles on the Internet. I would like to have your advice. I am male and in the last 25 years I had a therapy experience which lasted 3 1/2 years and left me with unresolved issues; shorter therapy experiences with different therapists, which I ended, because it seemed to be prolonged pointless therapy, for the sake of therapy. I am left with frustration from the futility of these experiences. Since then, I made significant progress both in profession and family, not in spite of bad therapy. I can't find good therapists, but I have found good books. I have tried to get some therapists to help me follow the suggestions in the books but they have refused.I would appreciate it if you can suggest me a good self-help book which would help me step-by-step to become free from my negative programming.

Dear Reader:

Thank you for your kindness. From what you write, I would suggest my own book It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction []. It sounds like you have some attachment issues which keep expressing themselves with therapists. I'm a bit surprised that they didn't know how to deal with those issues if you brought them up. I think you'll find what you need in the book, and if you want to go deeper, try The REAL 13th Step [] which gives you six specific tools to modify your subconscious. You might also find some help in my article "Winning the War Within" [] which is on my website for free. Best of luck with this, and please let me know what you think.

Author's Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., "Dr. Romance," is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice in Long Beach, Calif. since 1978 and author of 13 books in 17 languages,  including The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again and Lovestyles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She publishes the Happiness Tips from Tina email newsletter, and the Dr. Romance Blog. She has written for and been interviewed in many national publications, and she has appeared on Oprah, Larry King Live and many other TV and radio shows.