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Articles from Tina Tessina | Selfgrowth.com
- Dr. Romance’s 3 tips to finding true love - by Submitted on Dec 02, 2013 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance’s 3 tips to finding true love: 1. Know the difference between fooling around and building a real relationship. You can mess around with anyone (if you’re careful and have safe sex) but before you bring someone into your life, or share money or living space, remember they’re ...
Views: 1510(1 vote) - How To Create A Wedding Ceremony - by Submitted on Jun 14, 2014 from Tina TessinaMany couples are moved to write their own wedding ceremony: either because they aren’t comfortable with the traditional ones, or they don’t belong to a tradition that has a ceremony, or they just want to create something unique that expresses their love and commitment. To help you ...
Views: 1731(1 vote) - Less Talk, More Action - by Submitted on Mar 17, 2013 from Tina TessinaThose of you who have read my articles know that I am always talking about the importance of good communication, urging better communication, and giving skills for being better understood. Communication is one of the most important aspects of relationships; positive and negative. However, talk ...
Views: 1719(6 votes) - Looking For Love After Divorce? - by Submitted on Sep 02, 2013 from Tina TessinaDon't Repeat Past Mistakes. Follow These Three Tips Looking for love after divorce? Here are three tips to help as you begin dating after your divorce. 1. Be suspicious if it all seems “too good to be true” – it probably is. If your subconscious, neurotic needs are running the show, it’s ...
Views: 1663(2 votes) - Lovestyles - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2013 from Tina TessinaIt was one of those magical encounters with a personal truth—you know how it feels. I was fifteen, in ninth-grade English. The teacher, Mr. Rizzutto, read us a poem, and it had such a profound effect on me that even five decades later, I’m still using it as a guide. The poem, “Outwitted,” by ...
Views: 1445(1 vote) - Relating With Love - by Submitted on May 12, 2013 from Tina TessinaWhy do relationship counselors, speakers and authors say repeatedly that your relationship depends on how well you communicate with each other? Because marriage is a partnership and to create teamwork, you need to keep each other informed, and keep yourself aware of your partner’s ideas, wants ...
Views: 1524(2 votes) - Setting Boundaries and Saying No - by Submitted on May 06, 2013 from Tina TessinaKnowing how to set appropriate boundaries can make the difference in whether or not your relationship succeeds. The topic frequently comes up in my counseling office, and most people think boundaries are set by telling other people what the limits are. But boundaries are really something you ...
Views: 1559(1 vote) - The Fine Art of "Squirrel Hunting" - by Submitted on May 24, 2011 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: The most frequent problem I hear from single clients is that of how and where to search for a partner. Other clients are searching for friends. Many of them have been searching for a long time, without success; others have been afraid to go out and search at all. Most of ...
Views: 1154(1 vote) - The Magic of Reassurance - by Submitted on Apr 20, 2013 from Tina TessinaThere are a few simple communication techniques that work like magic in relationships, whether with committed partners, friends, co-workers or relatives. One of the most effective is reassurance, which is simple to do, and calms both of you down, which allows your discussion move on without ...
Views: 1656(1 vote) - The One Who Got Away - by Submitted on May 04, 2013 from Tina TessinaWhen I was a girl, growing up in the small township of Rockland, New York, there was a tiny post office, which was a small room with a separate entry in the house next door. Rockland’s official postmistress was Clara Weiss, who seemed very elderly even when I was a very small child. She was what ...
Views: 1467(1 vote) - Treat Your Marriage Like A Client? - by Submitted on Aug 17, 2013 from Tina TessinaHow Your Work Skills Can Help Save Your Marriage If you and your partner tend to think the business end of a relationship is not a romantic topic for courtship, you may not discuss it until you can’t avoid it, and then you fight. You may not think of your marriage as a business deal, but a ...
Views: 1548(2 votes) - Will Your Relationship Last? 7 Must Read Questions. - by Submitted on Jul 06, 2013 from Tina TessinaNumber 7 Might Shock You The way to know if your romance will last is to observe your partner's past and present behavior, especially in group settings, and to learn the proven skills to make marriage work. Because I see so much of the damage caused by people blindly connecting, rushing ...
Views: 1504(1 vote) - Zen + Sex = Starting Over? - by Submitted on Nov 03, 2013 from Tina TessinaReady To Get Back Out There? 3 Must Knows Men and women have to redefine themselves after a relationship ends, and reinvent their lives. If they do it well, it can lead to the most satisfying and successful years they've had. Dating successfully after divorce or a breakup require several ...
Views: 1576(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I can't live like this any more. - by Submitted on Mar 18, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I've seen your website and I think you may be the exact person to be able to help me. My wife and I have been married for just about 10 yrs., we have 3 beautiful children, and we live fairly comfortably (money is not too big of an issue). I grew up in a fairlyaffluent ...
Views: 1839(6 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I keep telling him not to push me. - by Submitted on Feb 25, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I find your articles very interesting. I have a minor problem with my husband. he keeps telling me that I don't listen and that I am stubborn. I admit my mind goes blank sometimes because he expects a lot from me and treats me like a teenager. I keep ...
Views: 1477(5 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I'm Desperate: What Else Can I Do? - by Submitted on Mar 12, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I suffer with sleeping alone in "our" bedroom while my wife of 14 years, sleeps in our two pre-teen sons' bedroom. I've tried to talk and reason with her about this important problem, only to fall on deaf ears. I'm desperate. What else can i do? ...
Views: 1570(5 votes) - Dr. Romance: Divorce-Proof your Marriage - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2013 from Tina TessinaFor Adult Children of Divorce, 3 Tips for a Better Marriage than your Parents Had If you're an adult child of divorce in a marriage that's been struggling, you can learn good marriage-building skills to keep your relationship from going the divorce route. Here are three tips to help: 1. ...
Views: 1788(6 votes) - Are You Sex-Starved? - by Submitted on Aug 05, 2013 from Tina TessinaIf You're In A Sexless Marriage, You Need These Tips Now Sexless marriage is a complaint I get often from clients. While sometimes, in case of illness or injury, a complete sexual experience is not possible in marriage, it is always best to have whatever sexual experience is available to the ...
Views: 4130(3 votes) - What's Narcissism, What's Abuse? - by Submitted on Sep 29, 2013 from Tina TessinaNarcissistic Personalities & Sociopaths Conscience is a type of judgment, that tells us what is right and wrong. It begins in early childhood, when (hopefully) parents teach a child what he can or cannot do (beginning with "no!"), then gradually how to tell right from wrong. ...
Views: 1398(3 votes) - 4 Tips for a Cheater: Get Your Marriage Back on Track - by Submitted on Dec 15, 2013 from Tina TessinaTo recover from infidelity and save your marriage: 1. Tell the Truth. Assuming your spouse found out, you didn't confess—this is the time to tell the whole truth. It's probably best done with a therapist present, to keep a lid on the emotional reactions. 2. Give your Spouse the ...
Views: 1723(2 votes) - Are You CEO Of Your Relationship? - by Submitted on Dec 08, 2013 from Tina TessinaIf You're Fighting About Money, Read These Five Tips In our society, money represents power, success, and often even your value as a person. We say (misquoting the Bible,) “Money is the root of all evil," or “money is power;” or “he who has the gold, makes the rules.” We consider it ...
Views: 1459(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: Can you make your wife fall in love again? - by Submitted on Jul 25, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I would like to know if it's possible to make your wike fall in love with you again? She just recently announced to me that she wanted to go our seperate ways. I am devestaded we have 2 kids together and she told me that she just grew appart from me. I'm madly in love ...
Views: 1670(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: How do I handle jealousy? - by Submitted on Dec 12, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: Just read a fine article of your from a link off the internet, and was wondering your best recommendation of the books you've wrote for jealousy and suspicious minds in a marriage with no real proof? Dear Reader: "Handling the Green-Eyed ...
Views: 1632(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I Just Want a Way to Resolve the Yelling - by Submitted on Jul 26, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I have been together with my wife for about 3 years now. We have worked on many issues in our marriage and resolved most of them; however, there is still one issue that has not been resolved. It seems that little mistakes I make, such as not taking out the trash when it ...
Views: 2136(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: Should he rent a room in his ex's house? - by Submitted on Aug 19, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance, Should a man expect a woman to want to become involved with him when he is still best friends with is ex-lover--and he is a renter in her house? He claims it is all over between them, but I don't see how he or the ex-lover should expect a woman to feel comfortable ...
Views: 1624(2 votes) - Dr Romance Video: Should you stay in your marriage? - by Submitted on Aug 15, 2013 from Tina TessinaClick here for video. Dr Romance: Should you stay in your marriage? Marriage can be frustrating and disappointing, especially if you don't have the skills to fix it. But giving in to the frustration and leaving may turn out to be the worst thing you ever did. Consider these ...
Views: 1656(2 votes) - Dr. Romance on Ten Things People Don't Know about Therapy - by Submitted on Aug 29, 2013 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: I recently had a first session with a client who said, about halfway into the hour “Wow. I like you. I’m surprised.” I laughed, but I knew what the client meant. As a psychotherapist in private practice, I encounter a lot of people who waited far too long to come in for ...
Views: 1531(2 votes) - Dr. Romance: Finding your Next Spouse - by Submitted on Sep 01, 2013 from Tina TessinaYou're divorced and ready to look for a new love. Here are three tips to help you as you search for a new partner in life. 1. Know the difference between fooling around and building a real relationship. You can mess around with anyone (if you’re careful and have safe sex) but before you ...
Views: 1495(2 votes) - Jealousy, Faithfulness, and Distance - by Submitted on Apr 04, 2013 from Tina TessinaSo many couples are now separated part- or full-time because of military deployment and/or work travel and schedules, I get a lot of questions about faithfulness. Your marriage vows may have said, “'til death do us part” but no one said anything about what happens when a military career or ...
Views: 1656(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: How Can I Trust Her Not to Do It Again? - by Submitted on Jun 24, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I wanted to get your reaction to something; what would it mean to you if someone said to you "So maybe I quit on our relationship." Yes my wife said this to me right before I left on deployment and I have been having a hard time dealing with it. When I came home ...
Views: 1591(3 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I feel my sister's life is in danger - by Submitted on Aug 01, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I recently stumbled upon your article "Friends in Need: Interventions for Domestic Violence." The information you provided resounded heartily with me. Last fall my brother in law discharged a weapon DIRECTLY NEXT to my sisters head. She was 8 months pregnant at the ...
Views: 1452(3 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: Is he trying to make me jealous? - by Submitted on Feb 21, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I need your advice. My ex and I broke up a while ago but still talked everyday. Anyways, long story short, I decided I can't talk to him anymore because we both need to change and find out who we are and learn to treat each other better. He continues calling and ...
Views: 3572(3 votes) - Dr Romance: 3 Tips to Living Together - by Submitted on Aug 25, 2013 from Tina TessinaIn the throes of a new romance, when dating and getting to know each other are going well, it’s easy to make a big decision from all the energy, or for the wrong reasons. Moving in together for the wrong reasons, or without advance planning, can jeopardize the whole relationship; so do it ...
Views: 1536(3 votes) - Dr. Romance Video: Is it normal to argue with your spouse about your kids? - by Submitted on Jul 01, 2013 from Tina Tessinaclick here for video It is not necessary to argue about parenting your kids. Couples usually argue about how their parents raised them, and they want to do the same (or the opposite) of what hteir parents did. How Not to Pass Your Family Dysfunction on to your kids: 1. Don't do ...
Views: 1634(3 votes) - Dr. Romance: 5 Common Mistakes in Relationships - 5 Common Mistakes when Asking your Spouse for What You Want - by Submitted on Jun 29, 2013 from Tina TessinaThere are some common mistakes couples make when asking for what they want in a relationship. Here are some things that may be keeping you from achieving success with your spouse. They are the most common mistakes you can make when trying to ask for what you want when you're struggling to make ...
Views: 1514(3 votes) - Dr. Romance: Boundaries with your Ex - Tips to Help if your Ex is Doing Things that Make You Feel Used, Resentful - by Submitted on Jun 22, 2013 from Tina TessinaPersonal space and respect are to the smoothness of a relationship. All personal relationships require boundaries. Boundaries are the limits you place on how much others can ask of you, verbally or otherwise. If a friendship or relationship is between two people who both have solid boundaries, ...
Views: 2174(3 votes) - Relationships: Tips to Help Overcome your Negative Reaction to your Spouse - by Submitted on Jul 05, 2013 from Tina TessinaEXERCISE: MIRRORS AND TEACHERS 1. List problem people: Make a list of people with whom you have had problems in the recent past. You can use the list from the exercise for reviewing your family map in the last chapter, choose the family members who are still presenting problems, and add to ...
Views: 1548(3 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I have been hurt by every guy I have dated - by Submitted on Oct 26, 2010 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am in a new relationship for a few months. I haven't dated for a couple of years on the advice of my therapist. I met a really nice guy on an online dating service which was totally out of my character. He is a really nice guy (Thank God) He lives in a different state so ...
Views: 1365(4 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: My father opposes my inter-racial relationship - by Submitted on Mar 25, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My question of the week is how to deal with family opposition of my inter-racial relationship. My dad, who is in his 70s, is vehemently opposed to my relationship with my fiance (who is white). He hasn't even met him and given him a chance. It is quite frustrating given ...
Views: 1576(5 votes) - Are You The One Who Wanted It To Work? - by Submitted on Oct 27, 2013 from Tina Tessina3 Must Do's + 2 Don'ts That Can Help You Today Are you about to be dumped? Your mate/date is losing interest? The signs are: lack of attention in conversation and being together; irritability -- refusal to talk about it, no sex or less interest. Here's what to do if you ARE dumped. 1. DO ...
Views: 1676(1 vote) - Baby Boomer? Getting Divorced? - by Submitted on Oct 12, 2013 from Tina TessinaTwo Must Know Tips If You're A Boomer Facing Divorce Divorce is a shock to anyone, but especially older marrieds, who may have been together for a long time. You are likely to be in shock for quite a while, feel numb and lost, and then have delayed grief. Here are two tips to help if you're a ...
Views: 1597(1 vote) - Bet You Don't Know How To Apologize - by Submitted on Sep 14, 2013 from Tina TessinaThere Are Four Steps. Are You Doing All Of Them? Are you and your partner having a tough time getting over an argument? Here are some tips to help. 1. Surrender to your responsibility. When you become aware that you have made a mistake, admit it and apologize. Use it as an opportunity ...
Views: 1631(1 vote) - But My Parents Divorced...Will I? - by Submitted on Dec 23, 2013 from Tina Tessina3 Must Do's If You Want To Break The Cycle If you're the adult child of a divorce or simply trying to improve your marriage, here are three tips to help you cultivate a good relationship with your partner. 1. Weekly State of the Union discussion. This is not an argument or complaint ...
Views: 1980(1 vote) - Could He/She Be A Control Freak? - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2013 from Tina Tessina3 ways to Stay Sane and Stay Married Is your spouse a control freak? It is driving you to distraction? Here are three tips to keep your relationship on track, keep you sane and stop you from going to divorce court. 1. Control freaks can be very successful. If yours is, give credit where ...
Views: 1984(5 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: Am I Strange? - by Submitted on Sep 05, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am a university student majoring in English Translation in a Mid Eastern country. I find it difficult to attract other people's attention and it makes friendship nearly impossible. I love loneliness in a way that most of my friends don't ...
Views: 1778(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Every time I think about him it just hurts - by Submitted on Nov 25, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm hoping you can offer some advice. I recently fell in love with a guy going through a divorce. We weren't together for ages but I feel like it was. He was separated About 10 months when we started dating and he had confessed to having a crush on me for a really ...
Views: 1537(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: He Does Holidays with His Ex and Kids - by Submitted on Dec 23, 2010 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I found one your article "Dr. Romance: Setting Boundaries with Your Ex" on Divorce360.ccm and wanted to reach out to a professional that is an expert with Divorce, families and integrating a new partner. I am single, 30, never been married, no kids. I am dating a divorced ...
Views: 9556(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: How can I find a good man to love me for me? - by Submitted on Jan 28, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm a single mom, of a teenage son. I was never married to his dad (if you want to call him that). I have the hardest time finding a relationship cuz I am on SS income and I am judged by that. I am a loving person, the good guys want a woman that works or is very ...
Views: 1587(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I am the one who becomes unbalanced - by Submitted on Dec 27, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am married 19 years and my husband and I have two children. We have a good marriage in so many ways yet we continuously cycle to a low point every couple of months primarily due to my change in mood and feelings about the relationship. A bad case of ambivalence on my part. ...
Views: 1328(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I am worried about marrying him - by Submitted on Oct 08, 2013 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I was reading your article "When Love is Kind: Mutuality in Relationships" and need your advice. My boyfriend of 5 years is quite selfish and literally a narcissist. He never did anything as a gesture of love except for buying calling cards to call me from ...
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